Arnold Shwarzennegger Has A 10-Year-Old "Black Baby"

OK folks, so I'm getting ready to head out of town for a few days, and then it hit me: what ever happened to the good old days when a white man could have children by his "servant" and his wife stuck by his side? Yeah, remember those days? Ok, so there's no way in hell you remember, but surely you knew how light-skinned Negroes came to be, right? Uh-huh, we all know about Thomas Jefferson's Black babies thanks to Black History Month, right? Bu today, my man Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife are on the outs, because, well....

The Terminator got some side action:

After twenty-five years of marriage, Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced that they were separating last week. According to the Los Angeles Times, the woman with whom Schwarzenegger fathered a child worked for his family for twenty years until last January.

"After leaving the governor's office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago," said Schwarzenegger in a statement, according to the New York Times. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.”

Shriver released a statement on the matter on Tuesday.

"This is a painful and heartbreaking time," she said. "As a mother, my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment." (source)

Surely this is yet another sign of our now widely accepted "post-racial" bliss. Back in the day Arnold and Maria would never split over this. Instead, they would have adopted young "Ill Neggar" ( BTW, pretty cool how I pulled "illegitimate" and the darker ethnic side of his daddy's name together, huh?) from his crack-smoking Black mother; sent him to a private school where he would've learned to play football and get into the NFL like Sandra Bullock does.

But no, today "Black babies" are embarrassing. Especially in this case when the baby-momma-servant-lady worked for you the whole time and Maria Shriver didn't know until he finally quit his job as governor of California. Which I'm sure clears up any suspicions Maria Shriver ever had over the years. I mean, surely she was suspicious of the little ten-year-old mixed kid with the afro, muscles, and that jacked up foreign accent. Shoot, I know I would if I were her.

And of course I can hear you saying: well RiPPa there ain't no way of knowing that Arnold's side-piece-servant was Black fool!! And you know what, you're right. I tell you one thing; the chances of her being Latina is more likely than her being Black. Hell, they live in California; the state where Republican politicians are against "illegal immigrants" unless they employ them.

So yeah, the kid might not actually be Black, but if said kid's mother is what I think she is, well then that kid is Black. That's unless he/she looks like my man Eddie Blue Eyes, my Puerto Rican "illegal immigrant" buddy.

Jon Gosselin has enough b*tch in him to be on The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Albert Einstein once said, “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” With that said I’d like to know what would possess a married man with a wife and eight kids to sneak out and get some side booty. Oh and let’s not forget that this married man at the time had a very successful television show centered on the fact that he and his wife are raising eight kids. You know, eight kids who without a television contract they would be in a commercial with Sally Struthers begging for money with flies on their faces while daddy is out on the corner slinging crack?

Seriously Jon, I’d like to hear your excuse for that one. Now grant it, having eight kids at home would mean you’re gonna jerk off 94.6% of your time for the rest of your life when you and the wife aren’t sneaking into the closet to get some. But damn man, you’re on TV, on a reality show – nothing you do is ever going to be private, or on the down low as you think. Shit, TMZ knew Michael Jackson was dead a week before you, I, and the rest of the world. Did you really think your wife would never find out about you creeping with that young chick? C’mon son! At least have the brains to mess around with a Black woman if it was all about the booty. Oh don't look at me crazy, you know a “sister” would have made sure none of this would ever come out.

Equally as foolish was the woman with whom he had “the affair” if you ask me. I’m sorry, but maybe it’s just that I’m used to Black women making a conscious effort not to get involved with Black men with kids, and the baby momma drama that comes with it. But err, if I were a woman, why would I want to get with a guy with eight children unless we lived in some polygamist compound, and I was obviously brain washed? I mean I could understand wanting to be with someone famous, or at least some form of celebrity assuming they may have some money; actually, I think that’s how The Flava of Love got started, no? No but seriously, how much money could this guy have with a wife and eight kids at home?

Well let’s see, shall we…

Oh so now he decides that he “cares” about the kids and doesn’t want them on television anymore. Yep, now that his “role” on the show will be limited, he decides to act an ass. Not only act like an ass, but act selfishly as well by withdrawing all of that money from their bank account! I’m sorry Jon, but you f*cked up royally with that one. Yes Jon, $1000.00 dollars won't buy enough Ramen Noodles to feed those kids. C'mon son! Just in that one move you went from idiot status to super douche bag; yep, and old wrinkled up red one like my grandmother used to have. Forget about even getting laid after pulling a stunt like that. What about the kids Jon? The only thing keeping them afloat is in fact the show. So what they dropped your name from the show; if you were against them being on TV you would not and should not have agreed to the show in the first place!

What’s surprising to me is that when the “Octomom” was in the news “certain people” gave her hell. People were all over her case and had her pegged as a “Welfare Queen” for being unmarried with fourteen children. But yet no such outrage at the actions of Jon Gosselin; imagine that. The way people are treating this, you’d think Kate Gosselin was a Black woman...

White folks, you people need to get it together and show this guy how he’s messing it up for you people. If you don’t, I’m afraid that this will become the new trend in America with white men. I mean damn, we Black men already have the running out on the wife and kids thing covered; can’t we just leave it that way? You folks are always quick to talk about and down to us for what we do. Can’t you all at least do the same for one of your own? Who knew white men were capable of the same type of behavior; I dunno, bad parenting, maybe?

The cherished concept of family which as you know is exclusive to white folks, is in jeopardy. So white people, since you’ve never cared about anything other than white women as evidenced by the love you all collectively share for Orenthal J. Simpson. I urge you to stand up and do your part to protect American family values as only you people can. I know you people hate Barack Obama and all, but he takes care of his kids. I’m sorry, but Jon Gosselin makes you people look bad, and next thing you know, single white mothers at the welfare office will be the rage, and we can’t have that now, can we?

Save the White woman!

How You Gon' Leave Before You Dance With Me?

The above title to this post is actually a line from my man Mos Def's song of the hip hop classic "Black On Both Sides". This is one of my favorite hip hop albums of all time as is Mos Def the entertainer. The line come from the song "Ms. Fat Booty" which tells the tale of boy meets girl in the average nightclub in anywhere USA. In the song he meets this woman and is smitten by her beauty; he even proclaims playfully that she had an ass so fat that you can see it from the front.

Well, to make a long story short, he fell in love with her, they had a fling and in the end she broke his heart. In other words dude was sick; yup, shorty put in on him seriously like that; watch the video at the end of this post. Now this song was made back in the late 90s. And this is why I was surprised to read over at necolebitchie.com - my number one source for celebrity entertainment news and gossip - that my man met a stripper in the club back in 2005, and married her after only knowing her for two days. Uh huh, and now dude refuses to sign the divorce papers for the last two years. Shit, Mos Def's Umi told him to shine his light on the world, but I wonder what she would have to say about this. Of course the marriage never worked; was it supposed to? His wife filed for divorce only two months after the wedding. In an upcoming documentary called "Rapper Wives" on E, this story and many more are exposed.

Check it out:


Now a part of me thinks that Mos Def should have known better. I’m thinking that when you’re an artist in the industry you have to be leery of situations such as this. But then again I don’t know where or what he was going through at the time. I mean clearly this woman has some issues as a result of her upbringing - ok, yeah, so everyone has issues; I'm not picking on this woman. However, when you barely know someone and marry them after two days of meeting them this is what you get. Would I have married her only after knowing her for two days? Hell fuck no I wouldn't, and I don't care how fat the booty is or just how fine she is, I will never do something like that.

Yeah whatever RiPPa you know you lyin.

Ok yeah, I might be lyin’; my bad, I forgot, I did the same thing. Well, see, I got married to a woman that I barely knew as well. I didn't do it in two days; in my case I knew her for six months. In retrospect, it was a bad move. For two reasons: 1) I met her in a nightclub just like Mos Def, and yes the ass was fat, and well...2) I was only 24yrs old and fresh out of college; looking back I was too young. Yes, now that I am a lot older and wiser I can say this. So would I have done differently? Of course I would, but looking back it’s always easy to say something like that. After all, hindsight is 20/20, no?

Our marriage managed to last 9yrs; the last two we were separated pending a divorce. A lot of what I dealt with and went through during the marriage without giving much detail could have and should have been avoided. In other words, if I hadn't taken my ass out to the club that one night in question when I was 23yrs old none of it would have happened. Two days after meeting her we had sex, and I ain't gonna front, I was hooked. Yeah, I was running around with my nose wide open. Shit I cancelled my other stable of women just because. Shit, I had everything else I could ever want in life at the time with the exception of “the one”.

I guess kinda like Mos Def, back then I was quite the catch, and without enough thought I allowed myself to get reeled in. I must admit that although it could have been avoided, it was a lesson learned, and well worth it. You see, unlike Moss Def, I learned and decided not to make the same mistake in my older years as he did. You know that whole “fool me once shame on you” thing? Now I can say that I am happily married, for a second time, to a woman unlike the little girl the little boy that was me fell for a long long time ago. I'm not one for giving out unsolicited advice, but I can't help but to tell you that it's not a good idea marrying someone you meet in the club.