Happy 50th Paddington

Paddington looks like he's enjoying a nice cream bun

for his birthday.

The New Dior Perfume

Kama is So Ineffecient

Oh Sharon Stone, nice try with that kama crack about the Chinese earthquake; I bet Dior in China just loved that.

But kama, how does that work?

My benchmark in these matters of spirituality is Nazi Germany and the Holocaust.

When I'm bothered by god-botherers and they chant on about god and gods, then I think mmmmm, he did fuck all for the jews, gypsies and the other untermensch of the Reich, didn't he? Oh wait he might have helped those fifty or so who escaped from Sobibor concentration camp and the twenty or so from Treblinka.

A round of applause for the god who let millions die in the camps and saved less than a hundred. OK, maybe, I'm just a religious lunatic but I thought if there were a god then he night be capable of doing something, considering he was able to bang up the world and the universe in six days.

So if there were a kama thing going on why weren't there any earthquakes in Germany? In all of the time the Reich was Reiching it away, there was barely enough of a tremor in the mighty empire to wobble a stein.

I dunno, do you think it was kama?

Probably not, as I believe it was the Chinese government, setting off one of its underground atomic bombs to cause an earthquake to get the world on its side and for all those Tibetan shennigans to be forgotten about.

I dunno, it's just an idea.

Another Met Announcement

Get Out of Africa

So good bye to Sydney Pollack, so-so actor and producer but the director of the great film Three Days of the Condor. The film that shows us, the paranoid, that we're not wrong. Three Days was based on a true story, but of course they'll deny that.

The only real blemish on Sydney's life script was Out of Africa.

Fancy allowing Meryll Streep to wander over the serenghetti with Robert Redford, who would have been carrying a heavy bore rifle, which could have been loaded, and he didn't tell Robert Redford to turn the gun on Streep as soon as she started to roll out another one of her juggernaut accents.

At the first mangled sounds starting to come out of her mouth he should have shouted "FIRE." And then mounted the over-accented luvvy's head on his wall.

"Eyeee haaaad aaa faaaarmmm eeeen Arrrrfricaaaaa arrt the fooooot of the Ngongggg Heeeells..............BANG! BANG!"

"Thanks Robert. That's a wrap everybody."

Big Village

Pakistani army demolishes village
200,000 inhabitants of remote village driven from homes in attack on militant stronghold near frontier

from the Grauniad

Be a Dummy, Buy Bottled Water

From some water advert on the telly this morning. I'm beginning to think that the advertisers are taking the piss out of the people who read their adverts. They're actually telling you that you are a dummy for buying it.

Connected with bottled water, which is such a con as we all know, I heard on a Radio5 phone in when they were talking about bottled water somebody who phoned in said "It was easier to get the water out of the fridge," than what ? turning on the tap.

Marketers like to create false needs, they like to create a climate of fear where you feel compelled to buy a product because if you're a caring, intelligent adult, you have to. Or you just have to be one of the crowd to one of the specially chosen, markign yourself out from the crowd by your consumer choice. A bit like those zombies who parade around the city advertizing products. no not the sandwichmen advertizing golf sales and sub snadwiches. But the loons who ponce around carrying their coffe cup in from of them like some religious relic. Hey you're advertizing then for free and you look like you have a decent job and you don't have coffee in the office, c'mon stop pretending you like the stuff and stop following the herd, ditch the cap and stop being a bill board.

I was just thinking this whilst staring at one of those bubbles chocolate poster adverts; a chocolate bar being advertised by a chap who obviously hasn't been near a chocolate bar in years. Yeah right thin man advertizing chocolate; fat man eating it.

Very much in the same vein was the channel 4 documentary last night about women's face creams and stuff like pentpetpet petpetpetpettides and beauty stem cells and glammabollox infredients. Most of them didn't work and some made the wrinkles get deeper. Women shouldn't succumb to such bollox. As they should say about facial creams and such like; they are so not worth it.

Vile Ashtead

That heart of pettiness that is Ashtead is again in the news for its small-mindedness and general churlishness. A neighbour complained about a pirate flag being flown at a kid's fancy dress party, saying it breached planning laws.