A Conversation

Audrey - "Jackson, I made up a new diarrhea song. Wanna hear it?"

Jackson - "It's Sunday, Audrey."

Audrey - "Oh yeah."

2 minutes later.

Audrey - "Jackson, I have to tell you now or else I'm gonna forget it."

Jackson - "Fine."

Audrey - "When you're swinging through the trees and you feel some batteries. Diarrhea. Diarrhea."

Laughter.

I guess Sunday's aren't too holy for potty talk after all. ☺

Goal

I want to be this girl.

Be sure to look at her sidebar where she keeps track of what she spends per month on groceries, toiletries, diapers, everything that comes out of her checking account. She has at least 2 children she mentions, and is about to have another baby.

I've been working on it and I'm getting better. I noticed in Sunday's paper that Kmart was doubling and tripling coupons so I took advantage of that and have now been to Kmart more times this week than I have ever been in my life - there's a reason it's affectionately called Came Apart and there are lots of reasons why so many have closed down - but Dove deodorant from Kmart is the same as Dove deodorant from Walmart or Target, only cheaper with a tripled coupon. I am proud to say I am now set on deodorant for me, Jackson (when he wears it), Advil, cough drops, Band-Aids and lotion for a year. (And shampoo for a little while since there are so many heads to wash around here.)

It almost makes me giddy when I think that I bought around $200 worth of stuff for about $90. Stuff that is normally expensive to stock up on like razors and Band-Aids and Neosporin and stuff. Some of it even came out to be free because a $2 coupon doubled is $4 off. I like that.

It can be very time-consuming to locate, clip and shop so I will have to wait until little Justin is off to school in a couple years to really go gangbusters on it since as much as he loves those comfy shopping carts, he says "All done" by the time we are on the second aisle and his free cookie is gone.

Here's to being frugal.

The Hunt

We are usually on different Spring Break schedules but by some miracle our kids had the same Spring Break as their many cousins that live in another county, so we spent some time visiting the fam last week.

The usually shy and introverted Justin was the most comfortable I have ever seen him around my parents and by the morning of day two was saying "Hi Namma (Grandma)" and "Hi DeeDaddy (Grandaddy)" every time he walked past them.

We all had a great time with everyone as usual, although I personally won't miss sitting in the family room with my parents during every Viagra or Cialis commercial that could possibly air in 5 days.
Reminds me of being about 12, watching sitcoms, with my dad being the only other person in the room, and a tampon commercial undoubtedly coming on at some point. At which time I would suddenly need to go get a drink.

Anyway, the kids played hard with their cousins. They look forward to these visits with intensity and e-mail back and forth for days ahead of time, making plans. The plans usually include sleepovers, movie nights, slurpees and filming movies to post to YouTube.

We always get together one night to play some shootout on the basketball court, where I can usually hang with the men until nearly the end thank you very much. I don't have any pictures to prove that, but I took some pictures of our Easter Egg Hunt at the park, where the kids colored eggs and hunted for eggs loaded with candy and money.


My girls.


Justin tried to taste the egg first.




Then he slam-dunked them into the cups.


The big kids hiding the eggs.


The little kids finding the eggs.




Spring Break = dress yourself and brush your own hair.
↓


Sadie helped hide the eggs and then helped the little kids find them.





The Easter Bunny brought books and Bendaroos (which were a huge hit) and a little candy and I completely forgot to take pictures Easter morning. Duh!

Good times.

Cat Cat Fight

I remember when I was about 10 years old I was sitting outside down by the road, just hanging out with my friend, Kippy. There was a girl my age in the neighborhood who was sometimes nice, but mostly not. She was called Cat-Cat. She was tough. I was a tomboy but this girl was tough. Anyway, she was riding her bike in the street, around and around in a loop. I don't remember if I provoked her or not (probably not since I knew what she was capable of) but for some reason she decided to run over my bare feet with her bike. I was stunned, but smart enough not to say anything to her so I ran inside to cry.

Two of my older brothers were home, Brian and Dan. I don't know what possessed them but they got me all mad and pumped up and told me to go back out there and hit her. I still don't know if they really thought I could beat her up or if it was just for entertainment. I'll have to ask them.

Full of adrenaline I went back outside and walked across the street to where Cat-Cat was now standing. I walked up to her and gave her a shove. It didn't really faze her since her feet stayed planted where they were. No stumbling backwards and falling on her behind. No crying. She gave me about zero seconds to turn and run and then started wailing on me. She had this side-arm swing that hurt like the devil and knocked the wind out of me with each hit. Wounded (spirit and body), I went back home, defeated.

I have stayed away from fighting ever since.

When I was in 6th grade, a girl wanted to fight me and told me to meet her.....after school (yep, just like in the movies). I was scared to death. I had heard horrible things about girl fights in middle school. Eyes scratched out, earrings torn out of earlobes, bras hanging from trees. Well, thank goodness for good friends because they all said they would come fight her with me. When the girl found out I was coming with my posse, she said she didn't want to fight me anymore.

These days there's no telling what kids will do and what weapons they might use to fight with. So, my children, grandchildren, whoever will read this at some point, walk away from a fight or find a way out of it.

And stay away from people named Cat-Cat.

The Joke's On Me This Year

I have been sick all week, and especially so on April 1st. So, I declared the entire week April Fools Week, just in case I got to feeling better, which didn't really happen until yesterday, but I did manage to pull off a couple of simple, no major planning required pranks on Steve on April Fools Day.

When he went to work in the morning this is what he showed the security guard to get in:


And as a backup in case he used his drivers license as an ID:


I was thinking I had gone with the monkey face sticker but I guess I went with the baby faces. LOL

Then when he got home from work he noticed a little piece of string hanging out of the kitchen ceiling AC vent. I think he was skeptical at first but pulled on it and a strategically placed cup of water poured onto him. he he

And then there's Jackson who can't resist a challenge. I tricked him with the old funnel trick, where you put a quarter on top of your head and then tip your head forward and try to catch it in the funnel that is stuck in the front of your pants. When he tried to do it I poured a glass of cold water in the funnel. It was pretty funny to see his shocked face. Then he turned around and did it to 2 of his friends. He also wore a sling to school and told everyone he sprained his arm. That's my boy.

The kids were almost depressed that I was sick and didn't make a crazy dinner so I did it tonight. We had "pie" which was actually meat loaf in a pie crust with pink mashed potatoes. And "fish sticks" which were really sugar wafer cookies coated in peanut butter and rolled in crushed corn flakes, with some "ketchup" (strawberry jam) to dip them in. New food ideas courtesy of Family Fun. The kids thought everything was pretty cool despite my lumpy mashed potato "frosting".

They were all dang lucky I was sick this year. This just means next year is going to be twice as fun!