woman thoughts

The General Women's Meeting was so good. All about making a strong family. Totally what I have been thinking about lately. Women are expected to do everything these days.

Here is a list of things I feel I should do...

hot, balanced dinner on the table by 6
showered and dressed by 3pm noon 10am
provide brain-stimulation for preschooler
homework and projects completed for school kids
family scriptures and prayers
next temple date and visiting teaching date on the calendar
church calling thoughtfully carried out
kitchen clean & ready for next meal
fresh produce, bread, and milk stocked
exercise/ stay fit and attractive
personal prayer and scripture study
house straightened
church, school, or community meetings
appropriate sizes/ seasons of clothes in children's closets
connect with each child and husband daily
stay on top of the "brush fires" that crop up throughout the day

No one can do it all, all of the time. I try to pick the very best things/the things that should be top priority. I realize that doing too much/having too many commitments makes me pay less attention to my family. I think distraction lures women away from being good, engaged, and attentive mothers and wives.

For example, I want to paint my living room. Bad. You don't even know how crazy that is. It is a lot of walls. Then Ace ran a BOGO sale on their paint this week. Then I found a fun chair that would go perfect in the new future living room.

BUT. I can't go painting 12 walls right now. I have a church calling that is demanding and a garden that needs designed and planted and a drip system installed and a family trip to California coming up. Must. Be. Responsible. (However, I did buy some paint. And the chair. Both are waiting patiently for my schedule to clear.)

I think about moving out to the country where no one will bug me (except my kids of course) and then I can do projects for weeks and let the yard go and not plan a pinewood derby for the ward. But if I move to the country, my husband will be called as bishop. Must stay in good neighborhood full of strong bishop candidates.

This weather makes me want to buy a Jeep and drive around with the top off and blast music, wind blowing through my hair, eating a bag of cinnamon bunnies with my kids then stop off and play kickball at the park. I actually did all of that. Minus the Jeep. Overall, life is great.

I am going to do my best in the things I feel are most important, let go of the rest, and forgive myself if I don't quite meet every mark.

And remember. I have a short list of people I care about pleasing. God. husband. kids. self.

That's all.

change it up

Wild weeks have come to pass... Quinn got her tonsils and adenoids removed on Monday, Feb 23. The following days were rough as she was in a lot of pain and cried and whimpered through the night for several nights. I felt like I had a newborn; it was non-stop care. I was also neck deep in planning our Relief Society birthday party dinner. Thursday, my brother Matt asked me to take Wyatt for the weekend so he could meet his online girlfriend. Quinn was a wreck, I had days before my big activity, Saturday was my birthday, and Wyatt was sick. Awesome timing, bro. I must be the nicest sister in the world, or the biggest chump. I had a crazy birthday with my 4 + 1 kids. By afternoon, I was so overstimulated so we left the kids for Preslie to watch while Dax and I went out. I did have a good birthday and I love my family, it was just a stressful week.

The morning of my birthday, I was relaxing in bed and I heard Dax and the kids coming down the hall. Dax says, "Ok everyone. Start singing!" Mack busts out, "Here comes the bride!.." I look over and they were standing in the doorway holding a giant plastic owl. I laughed so hard! I love those guys.

My awesome gal friends gave me a birthday lunch! 

We booked our California/Disney trip! We are so excited. The last time I went to Disneyland was in college with the Dixie Ambassadors. This will be my kids' first time.

I have been feeling like I am just getting by and keeping up with my responsibilities as a Mom and Wife. I've thought about quitting piano teaching. I prayed about it this weekend and I received my answer through reading the Book of Mormon, a sacrament meeting talk, and our home teacher's message. I've loved teaching piano for the past 3.5 years; it's a great gig for me and a convenient set-up for the neighbor kids and their Moms. I need to focus more on my own kids now. They are my top priority.

This past weekend Hunter performed in "Seussical the Musical". My friend runs a ballet and musical theater company and she really needed boys for the play. I made Hunter do it; he wasn't into the idea. But this weekend, he told me he had a blast and he was glad he did it.

Hunter is just left of the big tree

Monkey shot. The "Wickersham Brothers" from "Horton Hears a Who"

 Quinn is healed up now. It takes 12-14 days of recovery for a tonsillectomy. Her voice is slightly different. The doc said her tonsils were hu-UGE, as were her adenoids. Great to have that over. She is growing up so fast. I am in total denial that she will enter Kindergarten this fall.

Mack has been up to his old tricks (times one thousand) lately. He is a huge part of why I am quitting piano. I know he needs more structured activities to keep his mind and body busy. He is so brilliant; he literally cannot get enough stimulation. He multiplies large numbers in his mind as Dax and I are casually throwing around numbers in everyday conversations. Like last night at dinner we were talking about Broadway plays. Mack asked what Broadway was and Dax told him it was where really amazing, fancy plays were performed but they cost like $200 for tickets. Mack said, "That's 1200 dollars for our whole family to go." He has done this several other times this week. What 1st grader can multiply? I mean, they just went over double digit subtraction in school. He just needs more. Of everything.

Hunter is a diamond in the rough. He is so darling and smart and kind and wonderful but I forget that a lot because he politely lets others be the center of attention. He is the best 11-year-old on the planet. He loves to read lots of books and also learn about all kinds of little facts about science and history.

Preslie is by far the most responsible female in our home. She loves her dance class and has been begging to do other extra-curriculars. I hope she and Hunter will join the cross-country team this fall. She has recent motivations of getting in shape. She recently saved up for a new iPod. She is a great babysitter and is unstoppable when she sets her mind to something.

Dax has been on work overload but not the awesome kind. Office, administrative, and problem solving. He is going out to work in the mountains this week to clear his head. He is going through a mini-midlife and has been looking up apartments for sale in the Canary Islands. He also bought a new gun.

My mini-midlife consists of another room re-do for a friend, quitting teaching piano, and eating my weight in girl scout cookies. It feels like I'm recently torn between personal interests and the best interest of my family. Balance is the trickiest word to live by.

Be sure to share any Disneyland tips with me!

friday foto fun

i've been promising her a photo shoot for months so I took Preslie out and we explored the town and had a blast creating fun shots. these are all unedited and just for fun.

i love Preslie

this one is my fave. natural laugh/smile..will look great cropped in. i like face shots that capture personality!

 an old truck and a shopping cart? life could not get any better.

 i told Preslie to climb on top. it took her a few tries cuz of the round and slick factor.

  fun was had with the taco truck!

 as she was climbing down she was telling me, "this is so un-Preslie-like." what-climbing on top of an old truck that doesn't belong to us? "yep". i've been told before that i need to be more responsible. mostly by my kids.

 button your shirt, it is time to enter the world of beauty..

which one is your favorite?

spending freeze results!

Our family goal in February was to spend ZERO DOLLARS on anything except bare necessities. Here is a report of how we did-

Necessary purchases:

church donations

mortgage

vehicles/gas

utility/gas/phone bills

milk, eggs, bread

Tires. We had previously planned to travel to Idaho in February to see my niece's mission report and my nephew's Eagle Court of Honor. Dax was nervous about the condition of our tires so we replaced them for the long trip as we were due for new ones. Then we all got sick and had to stay home. SAD. 

Vacuum. Our vacuum died lots of months ago. Our neighbors gave us an old crappy one they had lying around. It never worked that well and our carpets kept looking worse and worse. So we bought a new, amazing vacuum. Long overdue!

Popsicles, Sprite, yogurt, juice. Before the spending freeze, we had no idea Quinn would get her tonsils and adenoids removed in February. We splurged on some special foods and drinks for her recovery period.

Major victories(!):

Dax brought a lunch to work everyday in February! This saved us $50-$60.

Our grocery bill for the entire month (for 6 people) was $100, including special food and drinks for Quinn. We used a lot of stuff from our freezer, pantry, and food storage. Great to rotate through some of that and get creative with meals!

We were able to save money this month, pay extra on our house payment, buy tires and a new vacuum without dipping into savings. 

What we learned:

Not spending was a great experience and really opened our eyes to how fast little purchases add up and really make a dent in your budget (because we saw the opposite happen when we didn't make those purchases..that money stayed in our account and in our pockets!) The kids kept us in line every step of the way. We heard this a lot, "We can't buy that because we are on a spending freeze." 

There are so many things we can do without. We really have everything we need and way way more. We just have to look around and remember all of our blessings. "Gratitude turns what we have into enough." 

I really want to take my kids to the beach and to Disneyland this spring. When I remember that, it is easier for me to say no to impulse buys. All of it is just stuff. I want memories that will last forever!

Commemorate

I just got home from our ward's Relief Society commemoration dinner (aka Relief Society birthday party) which I was in charge of. Holy Cow. I am not a natural-born event planner; I don't do well with big productions that have a huge deadline. This past week and day have been especially intense as there have been a million last minute preparations to make. BUT. It went so so well. When I showed up this afternoon to set up before the dinner, I walked in the gym and what I saw took my breath away. My neighbor Nikki had done all the table decor/centerpieces and it looked so beautiful. I went in another room and shed tears of gratitude. I know that would have made her uncomfortable had she seen me crying over her decorations (which is why I left the room). It might be silly to cry about decorations. But they were so pretty and she worked so hard on them and they were so perfect and special and I didn't have to worry about it being done so it was just this load off my shoulders. I'm so sad I didn't take a picture but I was under pressure to run the show so that did not cross my mind.

Our theme for the evening was "Circle of Sisterhood". Our ward is a brand new ward that was created by taking a part of 2 wards and forming a new one. I felt like unity was an important focus as there is a geographic separation between the 2 merged sections in our ward: the people in an area called "the cove" (which used to be in Cove Ward) and the people "on the hill" (that used to be in 11th ward). My main goal of the evening was to have every sister feel apart of this organization no matter who they are or where they live, and to know they are loved! Every lady completes our circle in some way. Everyone has different strengths and talents that they bring. I've thought a lot lately about this and how each person needs to figure out who they are, what they can contribute and do just that. It is too easy to look at other people and long for their qualities. When we embrace ourself and our unique personality, our talents will increase and we can move forward and serve others so much better.

I am 34 now. I celebrated my birthday last Saturday! When I was 18, I thought I had everything figured out. With each passing year, I realize I have more and more to learn and I am not as cool as I thought I was. This past year was a trying one. I have been stretched. However, it was a wonderful year of service for me. I have learned just how much joy and peace that service brings to my life. I've learned just how much our Father in Heaven cares about the one. I learned so much about myself and how I react in stressful situations. Many of my weaknesses have surfaced over the past year. I have a lot of them. A few of them are: I am super spacey and forget things almost instantly, I am impatient with my kids, I talk too much without thinking first, I zone out a lot, I get distracted too easily, and my most annoying flaw is that I'm slow. I'm slow to get ready in the morning, I'm slow to complete any task, I'm slow to make decisions.

But I have a lot of talents. I love everyone and see the good in people. I love to serve. I am a hard worker and always like to do my best. I am cheerful and optimistic. I'm good with money. I am a peacemaker. I am creative, and I am a problem solver. I'm also independent which is sometimes a weakness. I like to do things for myself and take care of myself. I have a hard time asking for help from anyone, even my husband and kids. It is one of the reasons I am slow, because I try to do everything at once by myself so it takes me way longer to accomplish the one thing I set out to do because I tried to do 5 other things while I did the first thing. Not liking to ask for help means I do most of the housework because I hate bugging people to help. I always have to remind myself that it is their house too, and I shouldn't feel guilty bugging them. My kids do have chores but they should probably have more.

So how do I plan and carry out an entire Relief Society dinner and program without asking for help? I don't. I had to ask many many people to help and it was so hard for me but I knew I couldn't do it all even though I tried to do a lot. It was a great experience and I saw and felt God's helping hand and guidance through the whole process. I truly love being apart of the Relief Society and I love the sisters. Being the R.S. coordinator is a big job! It is stretching me to be more than I am. And hopefully I can reach someone using the abilities God has given me.

When we were cleaning up after the activity tonight, the 2nd counselor in the bishopric came and got me and took me into the bishop's office where the whole bishopric and executive secretary were sitting. I wondered what they would possibly do or say after such a wonderful activity had just been carried out...

The bishop said, "We have an idea for an activity we would like your help with. We want to hold a Pinewood Derby where the Relief Society sisters build and race the cars and the brethren provide the potluck meal."

WHOA. Did not see that coming!

Now I must go and collapse into bed!