For some reason it occurred to me that it's January. Granted, I've had almost a full month to come to terms with that, but it didn't seem to matter until now. All of a sudden I figured out why. As I sat there posting videos, lost in some crunchy blues guitar, I realized that it is my Blogiversary! To. The. Day.
Ho-lee shit. This ridiculosity started in January 2005. Eight years of spewing forth. Right here. Now, I had been lurking and commenting for a few weeks or so prior to posting anything, but somehow, that first post must be burned into some long, lost cobweb-laden pocket of my brain. Some part of me must have remembered, vaguely, even. Not that I knew the date, but it came to mind that it was in January some time. Strange.
Occasionally I look back on some of those old posts but then I can only do that for so long. Man. I though I was bitter back then. No, not even close. But as we all know, life can do that to a person. I think I'm going to have to work a little harder to lose some "bitter" and bump it up to sarcasm again.
What a difference eight years can make.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
I'd say I was sorry but that would be insincere.
Basically I'm referring to all of the videos I just posted all rapid-fire like. Besides, you have full control over what you look at, so it isn't like I'm holding your eyes and ears (?) open to take it all in. Their sound changes so if you don't like one, move on to another one. Or don't. My blog, my posts. Dems da rules.
In general I'm feeling that I apologize way too often for things that either aren't my fault or are beyond my control. Pretty sure we've all been there at some point, haven't we? And yes, I DO feel that I can boldly speak for most of humanity regarding this issue.
Going to have to nip that whole insincere apology thing in the bud. All it truly is is some basic manners that have been turned into habit. Not that that is all bad... here's an example I can give. I work in what was once a hospital bathroom and hallway. Our med refrigerator is literally in a shower stall. So, you can imagine the space limitations. There are two of us in that satellite pharmacy and neither of us are petite by any means. No matter, short of being Stuart Little, it would still be a tight fit. In that space, being 5' 1" and 98# won't save you from taking up too much space. But what do we do all day... 'excuse me', 'sorry', blah, blah, blah... as if it's our fault that they built a pharmacy in a fucking bathroom and hallway! For a year and a half - still apologizing!
Another example, people in the store that block my path... I apologize when I need to squeeze past them. Clearly THEY are the obstruction here; they're having a fucking family reunion in the middle of the aisle yet I feel the need to apologize.
My point is, what starts off as good manners (it IS proper and polite to say 'excuse me, I'm sorry' when you're unexpectedly butts to nuts with someone, you know?) somehow loses all sincerity and really undermines your own confidence on some level when you're always saying you're sorry. When it becomes rote, just a habit that you can barely even recognize anymore until it is pointed out to you, then it really means nothing, does it?
Maybe I should have made a New Year's resolution... to stop apologizing. But I didn't. To which I could say 'fuck it and I'm not sorry'. Hey! When is Lent? I could give up insincere apologizing for Lent. Yes! (No, I haven't found religion, but hey, that's how I kicked my frappuccino habit and never looked back...)
In general I'm feeling that I apologize way too often for things that either aren't my fault or are beyond my control. Pretty sure we've all been there at some point, haven't we? And yes, I DO feel that I can boldly speak for most of humanity regarding this issue.
Going to have to nip that whole insincere apology thing in the bud. All it truly is is some basic manners that have been turned into habit. Not that that is all bad... here's an example I can give. I work in what was once a hospital bathroom and hallway. Our med refrigerator is literally in a shower stall. So, you can imagine the space limitations. There are two of us in that satellite pharmacy and neither of us are petite by any means. No matter, short of being Stuart Little, it would still be a tight fit. In that space, being 5' 1" and 98# won't save you from taking up too much space. But what do we do all day... 'excuse me', 'sorry', blah, blah, blah... as if it's our fault that they built a pharmacy in a fucking bathroom and hallway! For a year and a half - still apologizing!
Another example, people in the store that block my path... I apologize when I need to squeeze past them. Clearly THEY are the obstruction here; they're having a fucking family reunion in the middle of the aisle yet I feel the need to apologize.
My point is, what starts off as good manners (it IS proper and polite to say 'excuse me, I'm sorry' when you're unexpectedly butts to nuts with someone, you know?) somehow loses all sincerity and really undermines your own confidence on some level when you're always saying you're sorry. When it becomes rote, just a habit that you can barely even recognize anymore until it is pointed out to you, then it really means nothing, does it?
Maybe I should have made a New Year's resolution... to stop apologizing. But I didn't. To which I could say 'fuck it and I'm not sorry'. Hey! When is Lent? I could give up insincere apologizing for Lent. Yes! (No, I haven't found religion, but hey, that's how I kicked my frappuccino habit and never looked back...)
Seriously cool video by The Pack a.d. - Sirens
I prefer not to be disturbed when I'm on a roll in my own head. Just keep the name of the song in mind when you watch the video. Well done. I've got two CDs on their way to me as we speak. This band is my new addiction.
I lied... I'm on a roll... more Pack A.D.... **WARNING**
**WARNING** Shortly after the 0:30 mark, well, just brace yourself. And maybe make sure kids aren't around. It is a bit disturbing. And I suppose the end is a bit violent as well.
My "new" band... The Pack A.D. - Wolves and Werewolves
Last one, I think. Never saw the show Being Human, but perhaps this was played in an episode. Either way, These two make quite a bit of noise, no? It's like crunchy garage/punk with some rockabilly and blues. Kindly, I've posted several selections for you. Meh... I might do another one. Simply because I'm generous like that.
My "new" band.... The Pack A.D. - Underground
This is the song that totally sealed the deal. I knew I had to have this at max volume in my car... windows down with that crunchy bluesy riff. (Clearly not now, but when the weather warms up...)
My "new" band.... The Pack a.d. - Take
This is the first song I heard by them and it just snowballed from there. Gotta love the tribute to Gary Newman here. So spot on it's creepy. But so was he. And so is this band, in a way. Ok, carry on.
Monday, January 07, 2013
And so it begins, this "2013" people speak of.
I'm not sure how I feel about it, really.
The one thing I do know is that it will hold great change. Not that the changes will actually BE great, but you get my point. Things are such in my life that there really isn't much of an option but for them to change.
Unfortunately starting off the year in a depressive state is not really what I would have chosen, but then again, we rarely get to choose things like that, now, do we? Can't take any meds, so I have to tough it out and hope I don't make any really stupid choices before it passes.
And my blogger comment notifications STILL go into the ether somewhere... not to either email I have listed. Come ON Blogger, get your fucking shit together already! I don't have the patience to be dicking around with the likes of you and your little quirks.
My new goal is to sell a few things on eBay again - enough to get a new tattoo. Not 'the big one' I wanted, just one to hold me over. Most likely lyrics, as it were.
Today is my Christmas. I fucked up the other one but no one in my family celebrates this one anymore, so that's just one more thing to carry - that I fucked up Christmas. I suppose I kind of did, but 1) I TRULY didn't start it and 2) you can't reason with mental illness. So, in the words of Kid Rock... 'fuck all you hoes".
Which, in case you were wondering, those would NOT be the lyrics I want inked.
The one thing I do know is that it will hold great change. Not that the changes will actually BE great, but you get my point. Things are such in my life that there really isn't much of an option but for them to change.
Unfortunately starting off the year in a depressive state is not really what I would have chosen, but then again, we rarely get to choose things like that, now, do we? Can't take any meds, so I have to tough it out and hope I don't make any really stupid choices before it passes.
And my blogger comment notifications STILL go into the ether somewhere... not to either email I have listed. Come ON Blogger, get your fucking shit together already! I don't have the patience to be dicking around with the likes of you and your little quirks.
My new goal is to sell a few things on eBay again - enough to get a new tattoo. Not 'the big one' I wanted, just one to hold me over. Most likely lyrics, as it were.
Today is my Christmas. I fucked up the other one but no one in my family celebrates this one anymore, so that's just one more thing to carry - that I fucked up Christmas. I suppose I kind of did, but 1) I TRULY didn't start it and 2) you can't reason with mental illness. So, in the words of Kid Rock... 'fuck all you hoes".
Which, in case you were wondering, those would NOT be the lyrics I want inked.
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