This is going to make me sound like a groupie. I'd deny it but I think I'd better get a clear definition of the term first...

group·ie (grp)
n. Slang


1. A fan, especially a young woman, who follows a rock group around on tours.


2. An enthusiastic supporter or follower: a ballet groupie; a fashion groupie.
 
groupie [ˈgruːpɪ]
n


(Music / Pop Music) Slang an ardent fan of a celebrity, esp a pop star: originally, often a girl who followed the members of a pop group on tour in order to have sexual relations with them.


Alright.  Now that that's out of the way...  I suppose I am a groupie.  But not in the sense that immediately comes to mind.  I would say I fit in the first section (under slang), option 2.  Number one, I'm 41.  Unless I'm chasing Barry Manilow, I'm not 'young'.  As far as sexual relations... uh, I think I'm beyond getting it on in a tour bus.  I'd at least like a hotel room... ;)  Haha. 

So I contacted someone from The Trews that handles publicity just offering to put up flyers/posters around the Cleveland area.  I fell head over heels for this band 8 years ago and now that I've seen them live twice (third time is being planned...) my appreciation has increased exponentially.  I don't want anything from them, I'm not trying to make friends with them (or their managers, etc.) or get tickets or anything.  I just want other people to have the chance to enjoy a great band.  And I would like for them to know that others, outside of Canada, are connecting with their sound.  I approached and met each of them briefly at that first show, thanked them and got a pic ~ I'm happy.  No need to tattoo their faces on me or braid each others' hair.

Anyway, I got a response in less than a day and one of their managers, out of Toronto, I think, is thrilled that I'm offering to help.  I already mentioned that I was ready to buy my ticket, so they know I'm not looking for anything.  This is partially self-serving as I get to be involved in something that makes me happy, even if behind the scenes.  In a time in my life where I feel I have little direction, this gives me something positive to focus on.  I'm basically volunteering for them.  I'm cool with that.  I volunteer for an animal shelter already (almost 3 years!), and it's not  much different in the way that I'm doing something to help someone else with pretty much no recognition or thanks involved in the end. 

So call me a groupie ~ I've been getting that alot lately although I've not even told anyone about this little venture.  It's better than sitting around watching reality tv all night.  I'll probably just have some posters mailed to me and that will be it.  No one will know who I am from that point on and I couldn't care less.  Actually, I kind of like the anonymity of it.

The Trews Ishmael and Maggie Town Ballroom 11/25/11

This is a video from the show I went to... not MY video, but this was their first 'last' song. Before their two encores. Buffalo LOVES them some Trews! I went. Myself. Drove almost 3 hours to Buffalo and then 3 looong hours back. Finally got home at 2:55am but it was worth everything. I didn't have so much as one drink but left there floating ~ on a total high from the energy. It was a last minute choice but a perfect one. I may post another one, but this is a fun song. Sad, but fun... lyrics at the bottom. I had the time of my life, met some new people and now have an acquaintence that works for a local promoter and the Trews when they are in Buffalo. Which means I get more discount tix. And the bouncer was from Cleveland and as it turns out we have a very similar line of work (not the bouncer part, his other job, lol.) All that from asking where the bathroom was... So. Fuck these people that won't leave their comfort zones. I literally decided 30 minutes before I left that I was going and out the door I went... I walked around downtown Buffalo at night, nearly getting whacked by a trolley (no idea Buffalo had an above ground subway!) and looked at what I could see of the architecture in the dark. Anonymity can be comforting. I liked being someplace where no one knew me. With one peculiar exception. I had to pick up my ticket at the pre-show Meet & Greet, but I really just went to get my ticket. I'd just met them the week before and really, what did I have to say? So I'm standing there waiting for the guy to get my ticket and Jack, the bassist, walks past me, stops, and says, 'Hey, I know you...' I admitted it was from the Cleveland show and I think he was pretty pleased at himself for remembering. I thought it was a bit strange seeing how I didn't do or say anything very memorable. He must have a good memory. So stop listening to me and have a listen to the song. You'll hear his references to Buffalo near the end.


And I just found out they are coming back to Cleveland in 6 weeks. Heh.


I love my Canadians.



Ishmael and Maggie

Hello my name is Ishmael
Forget the one about the whale
I'll tell you of a broken-hearted sailor
Maggie took my loyalty,
I treated her like royalty
What starts out with such promise
ends in failure

Oh my love
I can't stand to be alone
But I been drinkin' too much
I better go home
And I think here
I'm better off alone
But I been thinking too much
I better go home

All hail the Queen of cruelty
She has duly been anointed
These final word "her majesty" had to say
"He who expects nothing never will be disappointed"
Nothing's what she left me so I guess i'm OK

Oh my love I can't stand to be alone
But I been drinkin' too much
I better go home
And I think here we all stand alone
But I been thinking too much
I better go home

Lie lie lie lie lie
Lie lie lie lie lie

A promise made to a tab unpaid
It's home I wade to my bed unmade
A fool to think that I could ever change her
A king upon my barstool throne
I vow to never drink alone
I only drink with friends or total strangers

We're all broken hearted here
We're all broken hearted here
We're all broken hearted here
We're all broken

Oh my love
I can't stand to be alone
But I been drinkin' too much
I better go home
And I think here we all stand alone
But I been thinking too much
I better go home
I better go home
I better go home
I better go home
I better go home
I better go home

So. Here we are. Me, you and The Trews.

And if you know where YOU are, then three cheers to you.  I tip my hat.

Me?  Yeah, I'm totally fucked here. 

Well, I suppose it's not like I've just landed in a huge pile of fuck and I'm up to my eyeballs in it, but there's surely enough to make me wonder just how many of the gods I pissed off.  I'm not going to get into anything here right now, but I just have this feeling that I'm going to explode.  Oddly, I also feel that doing so might be the thing I need the most, even with consideration to the consequences.

I would say the majority of what I'm feeling is normal.  Although, suspiciously not normal for someone who is bipolar and has been off meds for 6 1/2 months.  Unless you include the 7 days of toxic waste tabs that landed me in the hospital and hasn't seen me the same since.  But I'm not the maniac I thought I would be.  Although living in a constant state of fear might temper the maniacal tendencies.  Just a thought.  Most of what I'm feeling are just normal MOODS.  Clarification: normal for ME.  You still might want to hide small children or at the very least cover their eyes.

I force myself to do things that I want to do.  There's new stuff going on that I can talk about in a few days, even; just not now.  I am depressed and frustrated, but in my situation, I think that is to be expected.  So I force myself to do things and make myself find something to be happy about because when I'm not feeling like I hate the world, I fell I damn well deserve it!  Ha.  This usually boils down to hockey or music. 

Sunday I went, by myself (thank you inconsiderate, lame, lazy, friends of mine...) to a concert at a small venue where I've never been.  I finally saw The Trews.  After eight years of enjoying their music immensely, my Canadian boys dropped down to my neck of the woods.  And it was free, no less.  Few people here know of The Trews.  You know, typical lazy Americans that think they know everything but really don't because they can't be bothered... anyway.  They are HUGE in Canada, but here, it was like a private concert because so few people attended.  I was maybe 15 feet from the stage.  In the end, I got to meet and talk briefly with them, got a pic with each of them and genuinely thanked them for coming to the states.  (They just were in the UK and Australia, too.)  There's no way they could know how much I needed this and I wasn't going to risk soundling like a psych-unit flight risk by telling them.  I knew they were in a hurry but they were really so gracious.  I literally used the words "I'm so happy!" during a call I made when I left the venue.  THAT should tell you something.  Me.  I used those words. 

Friday I have the option to go to a hockey game or drive almost three hours to Buffalo (myself) catch a Trews show, and drive right back.  I am undecided.  The main thing here is that I know the weather is going to cooperate, which is rare for anywhere between Cleveland and Buffalo at the ass-end of November.  We'll see.  Stressful times right around the corner, so I need to reach out for something to keep me grounded.

I will try to post a little video I took at the concert Sunday.  I think they sound amazing.  It isn't working... let me try in a new post... nope, still not cooperating.  So I just stole another video from You Tube and it's in the post right before this one.

So.  We'll see what I decide to do come Friday.  There's something really great about doing something you've waited years to do.  The only part that really skeeves me out is that if you consider it your Bucket List (not a fan of the term...) and that encapsulates those things you want to do before you die... I kind of see it as pushing me one step closer to death.  I'd prefer to think of these things as 'the moments I look back on that make me appreciate actually living'.

The Trews - Hope & Ruin