Habitat challenge table runner which is reversable.
2 weeks old (Kind of miss this tiny helpless guy)
Today (but am so proud he has turned into this)
I've been having a hard time lately. It could be the weather. It could be that Isaac has been extra needy. It could be a combination of a bunch of things but the past couple weeks has just been hard. I've felt trapped. I've felt discouraged. I've just felt down. And I've put that out there on facebook and talking to people because I feel like honesty is important. I feel like when we share our struggles it helps others who may be in a similar situation feel less alone. That is one reason why I share even the negative things and feelings I am going through. Sadly, I feel disapproval from others because of what i share. Today on facebook someone commented on my status that I should "count my blessings" and went on to tell me how her life is more difficult than mine. I think my mom put it best when I told her and she said "unfriend". I count my blessings often and I have many. However, while counting blessings I can still acknowledge that I have struggles.
As women, we have so much pressure on us to be perfect to do everything and to do it well. To never have a bad day and to be a perfect roll model at all times. I'm sorry it's just not possible. We shouldn't be adding more pressure by acting like we've got it mastered and we never have a struggle. In the lesson that David taught this past Sunday there was a quote that says "[Motherhood] is next to Godhood, and therefore it takes a lifetime to become a good [mother]." And sadly, as much as we'd all like to be perfect parents or just perfect people right now it's not going to happen. We should keep trying to be a little better everyday but let's be honest with ourselves and others and acknowledged that we're not there yet.
I'm not there yet and I'm not going to hide that fact. Please don't judge me for keeping it real. I'm working on being a better mom and having a better attitude when the ride is bumpy. But I'm not going to lie and say that things are going great because the fact is this motherhood thing is rough. And I've been assured that Isaac is not the easiest baby (suspicions confirmed:) and I'm having a hard time aligning my expectations of motherhood with the reality of it. I'll get there but it might take my whole life. So please be patient with me and encourage me, really it does help. However, if the reality of what I'm feeling is too much for you please keep it to yourself. Chastising me only helps me feel even more like I'm failing than I do already.
