Our Little Corner of the World

Claire is a missile recently. Her mind is set on a few specific things:

1. Milk
She can carry up to 3/4 gallon of milk. She can unscrew the lid. She can and does find bottles hidden in our bags. She will move the step stool around to get a bottle off the ground. She knows and uses the "milk" sign well! Oh, and milk is best consumed from a bottle, not a sippy cup. No discussion.

2. Being a big kid
She wants to be where they are and do what they do. If they're on the bed, so is she (and grinning ear to ear with pride). If they're in the snow, so is she...even if she has not boots on because I am still looking for the left one! She "spits" in the sink when she "brushes her teeth". She rough houses, sits when they sit, stand when they stand, and she laughs hysterically at all their jokes. Yup, she gets it.

3. Baby
She loves her baby doll. It is one specific baby doll and it is hers. It has a nose, eyes, mouth, and is perfect for hugging. And throwing, if the mood suits.

4. Candy
I have to remind myself that I am the adult in the room. She does NOT need candy, even if it's the only way to stop her from screaming. NOT EVEN if it reinforces her communicative development because she is learning how to sign "candy". Be the adult, Lisa.

5. Communication
She knows hundreds of words...if only we knew them. What a chatterbox! Someday we'll know what she's saying so enthusiastically! Her best "words" recently are the Gloria chorus of Angels We Have Heard on High, "Oooorooooroooor" with pretty close the to the actual intonation!

On December 15th, my mother-in-law, Andrea, passed away rather suddenly. We knew her heart was a constant risk, but it still took us all off guard, especially right before the holidays. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis more than 30 years ago and has lived everyday in significant pain, yet she bore it cheerfully. She will be dearly missed by many people. I will miss talking to her every Sunday and then usually once more during the week about my kids, my life, her life, books we were reading, politics, current events, religion, and more. She has been such a good friend and a second mother to me. The funeral arrangements and service made me realize that she was just as good a friend to countless others throughout her life. She was so good at keeping in touch with people, providing thoughtful gifts and service, and writing notes.

Every time Andrea visited us here in Rochester (which was often), she brought bags of gifts for the kids. She also brought plastic bottles for the kids to cash in for change, took us out to eat, brought games to play, and sent cards and money to the kids when she was gone. Yet, when I asked James and Ruth what their favorite thing about Grammy was, James said it was how "when she arrived at our house, she'd always come in and give me a BIG hug" and Ruth said that "she played dollhouse with me".

My sister-in-law, Nicole, suggested we take pictures of the things in the house just the way Mom left them. I am so glad she thought of that, because looking at these pictures reminds me of so many of my favorite memories about Andrea.

These stockings and gifts were all packed up and ready to give to the missionaries in the ward and the children living next door. She always took good care of the missionaries (care packages nearly every week) and neighbors.

The dried roses are one of the many bouquets she received from her husband, Walt. He got them for her each year on her birthday and anniversary and she would dry them and keep them around the house.

The sisters sang with us at Andrea's funeral, so we were able to deliver their stockings in person. Andrea was THRILLED to finally have Sister missionaries in their ward!

This is the webcam we got her for Christmas one year. First, we gave one to my mom (who was in AZ) and Andrea got to watch us talk to my mom on it. She was so jealous. Then we gave her hers and she cried. A couple years before that, we surprised her with a change in our flight itinerary so we could stay in NJ through to Sunday and she could show James off at church. She cried then too. Her family and grandchildren were so important to her! Also, Hoops and YoYo were known to make spontaneous, close-up appearances on the webcam while we were talking to her.

This was Dan and Nicole's nursery and then became a study. When I first married Dan, it was piled high with stuff. In a huge labor of love, Andrea cleared it out and set it up to be a nursery for her grandchildren. My kids love staying there.

The walls are lined with artwork from her grandchildren, which she framed.

This closet in the nursery holds her own "AC Moore" worth of craft supplies.

Yes, she had a separate bin JUST for blue and green ribbon. I'm pretty sure it was mostly because she had so much green ribbon for Christmas!

Also in her closet, the stockpile of Betaseron that she had to self-inject every other day.

The double stroller she bought to have at the house for us.

She loved all things Christmas, including wrapping paper. She also needed it for the many gifts she gave to missionaries and grandchildren--each wrapped immaculately. This year, the kids' gifts were wrapped in a red and green color theme. Last year it was brown paper. She used to save tissue paper and iron it so she could reuse it.

She kept the guest bathroom stocked with new toothbrushes for the kids, bath toys, and our favorite shampoos. Often, she would prepare goodie baskets for our bedrooms with our favorite candies and cookies.

She loved to cross stitch and to decorate her home and others' with her handiwork. She even stitched birth announcements for James and Ruth. This one was stitched in the 80's and still hangs in the upstairs bathroom.

She embodied this quote, which she shared on Facebook shortly before she passed away. "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

Another good quote for Andrea, displayed in her living room.

Her cane and her one item of Christmas decorations up. She loved Christmas, but was planning to be in Rochester (which she called "God's country") for Christmas this year, so the house was not decorated. Every time I saw that cane there during our visit for the funeral, I thought of Tiny Tim.

Every year, Andrea spent MONTHS planning an elaborate, themed, joint birthday party for Cole and James since their birthdays are one day apart. Here are some of the left over items from this year's Lego party.

It looks like she had a sugar cookie activity she was planning to do with the kids. She always brought far more activities than we could ever do, but the kids loved it!

Flowers from Walt and a photo of George Washington praying: God, family, and country.

Andrea's 63rd birthday was 2 days before she passed away. Here are her birthday flowers in the foreground and condolence flowers in the background on the kitchen counter.

That tag from "The Barnes" (a former missionary) has been there as long as I can remember. Also, the quote bordered in red: "To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility." -Thomas S. Monson.

Under that is the quote, "The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of our soul." David O. McKay.

Some favorite foods: Coke Zero, yogurt (always with probiotics!), and salads.

A picture frame I made her years ago that says, "Grandchildren: Sometimes the smallest things take the biggest place in our hearts." with photos of all of her grandchildren. The circles on the door are from the Lego birthday party.

I still smile every time I see that basket above the door. A few years ago, Andrea watched a show (was it Oprah?) that talked about taking the "blue eye shadow" off of your house by getting rid of the old country look. Since then, she was constantly telling us her newest idea for improving her house that she heard on a home improvement show. They ranged from pulling up the carpet and resurfacing the hardwood underneath, to installing an elevator so she would not have to crawl up the stairs anymore. While dreaming about all her plans, she did take down cross stitches, replace some curtains, and add a few decorations around the house. Where this basket is, there was a platter or something that she deemed "too country". When she took it down, there was a large light spot on the wallpaper where it used to be, which we would tease was not much of an improvement over the "country" look. So, she covered it with this basket which, she insisted, is not "country," but, "Tuscan".

One of the recent additions to their house during the "renovation" period. I love this collage of photos and helping her to update them each year.

She picked out couches for this room and the first ones that were delivered ended up being too dark and they really depressed her. She went back to the store and they agreed to pick up the first set and trade for a second. They were significantly more expensive, but they made her happy. I love how she and Walt worked together so well on this despite the headache it ended up being. There is also a large trunk in front of them that she was really in love with.

A picture frame we made for her with James when he was a baby along with many other things she loved, a painting by one of her favorite artists (I am blanking on who it is), Willow Tree statues, and many gospel and other books.

If ever there was a stain to tackle, Andrea was your gal. Sometimes she even took clothing from my house home with her because she was SURE she could get the stain out. And she could.

Her walker in the backseat of her car. In the months leading up to her passing, she often had a second walker in her trunk. Every week, often multiple times a week, she would drive two elderly friends of hers to their doctor's appointments and bring them dinner. Only a few weeks before, she actually fell in the parking lot while trying to get the blind 90-something year old's walker out of her own car. She did not have the leg strength to stand up on her own and had nothing to pull up on. A number of people stopped to help, and eventually a man stopped who was able to lift her up. Of course, that experience did not stop her from taking her friends around to more appointments! She always wanted to serve and she was serving others, literally, until she died.

The canes. We used the collapsible one once to hit a pinata, but it kept collapsing when we'd hit it. Maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty funny!

She loved hearing Nicole play this piano and often told me about how talented Nicole is. Notice more dried roses from Walt?

Some "detail" photos of her room:

Boxes of clipart books from before the days of computer clipart. She was known for all of her elaborate handouts she brought to the classes she taught at church each week.

From the years before the Ensign (church magazine) was available electronically:

Her DAILY medications.

A stockpile of gifts for the missionaries.

Her Nook that Nicole gave her. She LOVED it and had recently started reading avidly. I really enjoyed reading books she recommended and discussing them. She also read a few that I recommended to her. Her cellphone was somewhat recent, but the most recent developments were her actually keeping it on and learning to send text messages. Most of our phone calls lasted at least 45 minutes, so text messaging was a great addition to our twice-weekly phone calls!

Look at this Christmas list! This page details what is in the stockings of each grandchild, missionary, and neighborhood child. She also had separate pages detailing what she got for everyone as gifts. They were all wrapped and decorated with handmade "3D" tags before she passed away. I also love that this list has white out and corrections on it!

Her visiting teaching log in the back of her planner. I love that she kept such diligent track to make sure that each of the sisters she was assigned got a letter or a visit each month. She passed away on the 15th, but her visiting teaching was already done. The blank squares are for 2013 and 2014. She was planning on being around for that.

I did not take many pictures of the funeral, but Walt and Nicole planned a beautiful service. Rather than have the Relief Society plan a luncheon for after the service (Andrea did not like feeling like a "service project"), they catered an amazing meal. These are just SOME of the people who came to remember Andrea. It was such a tribute to how many lives she touched. It is a particularly touching considering the funeral was just 3 days before Christmas and on the last Saturday before the holiday.

I am so grateful that Mom was in our lives for so many years and that she is no longer in pain. It is still painful to not have her here with us, thought. We miss her and look forward to being reunited with her after this life. It is such a blessing to have a testimony that we will all live again after this life.