Dear Moses,
A lot has happened since I last wrote you a letter! First off, much to my dismay, you stopped nursing. I cut you off back in September and it was soooooo hard for me. I felt like I was losing my milk, almost like you were sucking on a dry breast all the time and it was really uncomfortable. I just felt like it was time. After I nursed you for the last time, I went into your brother's room where daddy was reading to everyone, and fell on the floor sobbing. I couldn't control myself. I cried and cried and cried knowing that I'd never nurse another baby again. It killed me. Everyone was so sweet to me and each boy took turns comforting me and telling me how proud they were of me. It was such a sweet moment and something I'll never forget. You asked to nurse every night for about two and a half weeks before you finally forgot about it. It made me really sad to hear you begging for it every night, but it actually killed me even more when you stopped asking for it. You don't need me anymore!
You've always been an affectionate little guy but you've taken it to another whole level lately. You have started kissing me and your dad dozens of times every day. You kiss everything you like. In fact, I saw you kiss the toilet seat the other day. Ha ha! Whenever you get excited about something, you pant like a dog, squeal, and cover everything in kisses. You've started getting pretty silly and love to do things to try to make us laugh. I think you're getting it from being around Isaac all the time. He's the king of silliness and you want to be just like him!
You used to poop like five or six times a day but it's become a little less lately, thankfully. Lately, you've only been going two or three times a day. One thing about you that's really funny is that your dad nor I have ever seen you poop. We've never heard you grunt or seen you straining to push it out. You like to do it in total privacy. I wonder if you'll be like that your whole life. You've started showing some interest in potty training, mostly because you've seen Claire Schultz go on the potty so many times. Whenever she has to go when you two have been playing, you'll watch her with great interest. Then you insist on trying to go on the toilet for the rest of the day too. You're definitely not ready to go all in on the potty training, but I don't think it will be too hard once you are ready.
You have had quite a few accidents on the carpet in our house the past few months. Sometimes if I get distracted and wait a little too long to put a diaper on you after you take a bath, you'll poop on the carpet. Last week, you pooped as you were walking around the family room and stepped in it, tracking it everywhere. When I came into the room. I was horrified to find piles of it in various spots in the room with tiny little poopy footprints going between them. It was lovely.
If I'm being completely honest, you've been really hard the past little while. You're fussy almost all the time. You don't eat much. You don't entertain yourself well and want me to carry you around the house and be with you every second of the day. I think the main reason you're so hard is because you stopped napping soon after you turned two. It was right around the time when your brothers got out of school for the summer. I tried putting you down every day for weeks but you flat out refused. You would cry and scream in your crib until I came to get you. In desperation, you even learned how to take your sleep sack off and climb out of your crib. After you getting out of your crib and room over and over, your dad finally switched your bedroom door handle with that of the bathroom's so we could lock you in.
I spent about a month of frustration trying to force you to nap but it never worked. I even took you to the pediatrician about it and when he didn't have anything to suggest that worked, I finally gave up even trying to put you down. Even though I knew you were tired every day, it wasn't worth the time and frustration anymore to keep it up. So you haven't taken a single nap since May! It shows by your behavior but I couldn't MAKE you nap. There wasn't anything else I could do!
A few weeks after you figured out how to climb out of your crib, you started coming out of your room in the middle of the night, walking down the stairs, and trying to climb into our bed with us. We'd take you back up to your room but you'd do it again. Over and over this went all night long for weeks on end. Some nights you'd wake us up six or seven times a night. We felt like we had a newborn baby all over again.
We tried everything to keep you in your room and after nothing worked, we had to lock you in there are let you cry-it-out. It took a few nights of you turning on all the nights, pounding on your locked bedroom door, and screaming hysterically before you finally gave up and learned that we weren't going to come in to rescue you in the night. The first night, we slept in the guest bedroom in the basement with ear plugs so we couldn't hear you, but I kept waking up to look at you on the camera in your room. That night you cried for 3 1/2 hours before you finally gave up and went to sleep. It was so sad but it worked and now you sleep through the night! Whoo hoo! The parents triumph over the babies once again!!!
Your favorite song is "What's Up Danger" from the Into the Spider Verse soundtrack and you make my play it on repeat all day long. Your favorite thing is to dress up in your Spider-Man Halloween costume and run back and forth while singing it at the top of your lungs. Your favorite part of the song is the climax of the song that says, "CAN'T STOP ME NOW!!!" You think you're so cool when you're doing this! You're actually so obsessed that it's gotten to the point where I can't even play any other music without you begging me for it. Some days I'd rather sit around in silence than listen to your song on repeat.
Your talking has started taking off the past few weeks. You're saying lots of new words but they're still not very clear. You can only manage vowels and rarely say consonants. You're still definitely behind in your talking but I do feel relieved that you're finally saying more than a few words. I took you to a speech evaluation a few months ago but you didn't qualify for therapy. I'll probably take you back again soon to get re-evaluated and see what they think.
Mo, you're such a fun guy. I love having you as my sidekick and little buddy. You're so awesome. Thanks for loving me, giving me lots of kisses, and snuggling me all the time. I am so happy to have you in our family!
Loads of love,
Mama
