Dear Dishwasher,I know that for the past few weeks you have been giving me signs that you were breaking down, but for some reason I just refused to believe it. It all started with the suspicious water that sometimes leaked out the bottom of you and spread across the floor. Then you started to moan and groan like an old man getting up from the couch when ever we turned you on. Today you finally had enough and started to smoke, my kitchen smelled like a camp fire. I know that I saw this coming these past few weeks, but I just wasn't ready for it. I will miss you my old friend. You have served us well this past four years, and I am sad to see you go.
RIP
sincerely,
the woman with the dish pan hands
Dear Baby Brocky,
I am so sorry that you have this awful cold. I fully understand that you don't feel good, with a sore throat, a cough and that you are all stuffed up. Would it be to much to ask for you to sleep for longer periods on your own? Don't get me wrong, I love to snuggle you and make you feel better, that is what mommy's do. However, it would be so nice if I could get a shower, clean clothes and brush my teeth, with out you screaming and crying because I am not holding you. It would also be nice to get a little more sleep at night, 3-4 hours just isn't enough. While we are at it could you please try not to get so upset when I use the booger sucker on you to help you breathe better. I don't enjoy sucking your boogers, it is just something that needs to be done. Thanks! I hope you start feeling better soon!
love,
the smelly mommy with the blood shot eyes
Dear two year old,
I would appreciate it if you tried a little harder not to get into trouble as soon as I turn my back.
Thanks,
the cleaner of the all the mess a.k.a the maid
