If you're not on the mobile version of this, you've probably noticed that I'm making some changes to my blog. I just felt that it was time. I plan on using my blog differently in the new year (that's SO far away now), and I felt that the changes I'm making would work well with it. I got rid of some stuff, added some buttons and changed or edited a lot, including our bios. The change to how I'm using my blog will start tomorrow with the brand new year. Hopefully it will work better for me :) With that, I won't be doing the Thankful Thursdays anymore. They were feeling redundant, and it wasn't really motivating me on here.
So 2014 on to 2015, hey? I was right, 2014 was significantly better for me than 2013 was, so huzzah! It's been a big year. I got called back in to Young Women, we went on the rollarcoaster to find out what was going on with Caleb, ended up with a diagnosis, went back to Magrath for the first time since Dad passed away early in 2012, Caleb was baptized and I turned the big 3-0. C does this thing where she has a motivational word or phrase for the upcoming year. I've sort of been trying to adopt that, so my word for 2015 is... Reclaim . I'm hoping to reclaim my healthy body, a healthy mind and an even healthier and stronger testimony this coming year.
However, I can't let 2014 go just yet, because today celebrates 9 years since I married that amazing man that I call my husband in the Cardston Alberta Temple. Our marriage has survived so much in the past 9 years. I've seen so much with this amazing man by my side, and I'm looking forward to an eternity more. All of me loves all of you, John!
The goings on of our geeky little family and the musings and soapbox moments of the lone female in the group.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Thankful Tuesday?
Let's be honest, I have no plans to be blogging on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I have far more important things to focus on at that point. Really, even at after 10 pm tonight, I still have 2 of the 3 kids awake. But they're happily watching Disney Junior and I just finished preparing my lesson for this coming Sunday, so I figured I would take care of this now while I'm thinking of it and have the time.
1) I am grateful to have John home for the next 2 weeks. Oh so grateful! I think he's pretty grateful for it as well.
2) I am grateful to have evidence that Caleb's medication really does make a difference for him. I accidentally forgot to give it to him the other night and let me tell you, the next day was QUITE the experience. So it really does work, and I'm grateful for it.
3) I am grateful for a baby boy born hundreds and hundred and hundreds of years ago. For His life, His sacrifice, His death and His resurrection. He is the reason that I am celebrating this week, and the person who gets me through it all in life. I am so grateful for all that the Savior has done for me and for us all.
1) I am grateful to have John home for the next 2 weeks. Oh so grateful! I think he's pretty grateful for it as well.
2) I am grateful to have evidence that Caleb's medication really does make a difference for him. I accidentally forgot to give it to him the other night and let me tell you, the next day was QUITE the experience. So it really does work, and I'm grateful for it.
3) I am grateful for a baby boy born hundreds and hundred and hundreds of years ago. For His life, His sacrifice, His death and His resurrection. He is the reason that I am celebrating this week, and the person who gets me through it all in life. I am so grateful for all that the Savior has done for me and for us all.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
1 Week Until Christmas
1) I am grateful that I was able to go watch Caleb and Ty in their concert on Tuesday. They both enjoyed it so much. Ty was so animated and I had a hard time holding my phone still as I recorded it because I was laughing, but it was awesome.
2) I am grateful for how much I get out of serving the young women. They are constantly inspiring me to do better and help keep me focused. They are such amazing girls.
3) I am grateful for a wonderful husband who has been helping me out as I go through health issues. I am so blessed to be his wife and I love him more than words can say.
2) I am grateful for how much I get out of serving the young women. They are constantly inspiring me to do better and help keep me focused. They are such amazing girls.
3) I am grateful for a wonderful husband who has been helping me out as I go through health issues. I am so blessed to be his wife and I love him more than words can say.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
So Tired
No Thankful Thursday this week because even though I fall asleep before 9pm most nights, I am super exhausted today. Have a great week.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Thankful Thursday
1) I am grateful for warmer weather this week. I deliberately don't complain in the winter so that I "earn" the right to complain about heat in the summer (because fine to add more layers, but not remove them). But I am REALLY enjoying the warmer temperatures this week after the intense cold weather we had last week.
2) I am grateful for music more than words can express. I don't know how I'd survive and stay sane without it.
3) I am grateful for my wonderful husband. I love that man so much. I am constantly reminded that he was definitely the husband that Heavenly Father knew I needed.
2) I am grateful for music more than words can express. I don't know how I'd survive and stay sane without it.
3) I am grateful for my wonderful husband. I love that man so much. I am constantly reminded that he was definitely the husband that Heavenly Father knew I needed.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Thankful Thursday and School Updates
1) I am grateful for the drive I've had to lose over 15 lbs already. I am feeling so much better physically, mentally and emotionally. It's been a wonderful thing so far and I'm so glad that I finally started doing it.
2) I am grateful for the gift of planning that my Heavenly Father has given me. It may drive others up the wall sometimes, but it's helped me be a better wife, mother and daughter of God. It makes my life a lot less chaotic and helps to cut down on stress big time.
3) I am grateful that it's snowing out, because it means we'll have a white Christmas. I realize we almost always do, but I've never forgotten the brown Christmas we had once when I was in juniour high. It was so disappointing to not have snow for Christmas that year and it has made me grateful for the snow at Christmas every year since then.
***
As an update, Caleb has improved in many of his subjects since last year. His teacher is very happy with him and the progress that he has made so far this year. She especially commented on his passion for science. I am so thankful that we found out what was going on with him, that we're dealing with it, and that he has such a wonderful teacher this year.
Ty is right where he needs to be for this point in grade 1. His teacher said that she knew that his teacher last year was really worried about my choice to move him up, but his current teacher isn't worried at all and neither am I. He is thriving in grade 1 and I would have done him a serious injustice had I held him back. I am so thankful for the reminder that I made the right choice for him. The EA in his class commented on how happy and full of life he is. Yup, that's definitely Ty :)
2) I am grateful for the gift of planning that my Heavenly Father has given me. It may drive others up the wall sometimes, but it's helped me be a better wife, mother and daughter of God. It makes my life a lot less chaotic and helps to cut down on stress big time.
3) I am grateful that it's snowing out, because it means we'll have a white Christmas. I realize we almost always do, but I've never forgotten the brown Christmas we had once when I was in juniour high. It was so disappointing to not have snow for Christmas that year and it has made me grateful for the snow at Christmas every year since then.
***
As an update, Caleb has improved in many of his subjects since last year. His teacher is very happy with him and the progress that he has made so far this year. She especially commented on his passion for science. I am so thankful that we found out what was going on with him, that we're dealing with it, and that he has such a wonderful teacher this year.
Ty is right where he needs to be for this point in grade 1. His teacher said that she knew that his teacher last year was really worried about my choice to move him up, but his current teacher isn't worried at all and neither am I. He is thriving in grade 1 and I would have done him a serious injustice had I held him back. I am so thankful for the reminder that I made the right choice for him. The EA in his class commented on how happy and full of life he is. Yup, that's definitely Ty :)
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Thankful Thursday Yet Again
1) I am grateful for the many comforts that I have during the winter. A home with heating, sweaters, parkas, boots, hats, mitts, etc. It may get chilly here for a huge portion of the year, but I'm very blessed to have so many different ways to deal with it and I'm so grateful for them all.
2) I am grateful that my mum is coming to visit us this weekend. The last time she was here was the day of Caleb's baptism and things were too chaotic to have a proper visit, so I'm excited to see her again.
3) I am grateful that we found a way to hugely cut down on how much Brettley sucks on his fingers. He did it a lot and it kept blistering his fingers. However, we realized he did it while cuddling his pillow, which he carried with him through the house all day long. So in the morning we put it up on his closet shelf and he gets it back for night time and now he's pretty much only sucking his fingers at night time. Hurray for big progress :)
2) I am grateful that my mum is coming to visit us this weekend. The last time she was here was the day of Caleb's baptism and things were too chaotic to have a proper visit, so I'm excited to see her again.
3) I am grateful that we found a way to hugely cut down on how much Brettley sucks on his fingers. He did it a lot and it kept blistering his fingers. However, we realized he did it while cuddling his pillow, which he carried with him through the house all day long. So in the morning we put it up on his closet shelf and he gets it back for night time and now he's pretty much only sucking his fingers at night time. Hurray for big progress :)
Thursday, November 13, 2014
I'm Still Here :)
So I kind of, sort of missed last week's post. Oops! The kids were about to start a 5 day weekend and I was on Friday brain all of last Thursday. Today I'm still sort of on Tuesday brain, but it'll be okay by next week. And here we go :)
1) I am grateful for my MyFitnessPal app. Using it, I have lost 9.2 lbs so far :D It's one of a few tools that I'm using to help stay focused, but it's incredibly useful and it would be a lot harder without it. Okay, so maybe I'm grateful for all of the tools that I'm using, ha ha.
2) I am grateful for the power of prayer. It helped us get through something that could have been potentially extremely stressful this past week. Instead, we were patient for a few days as we prayed and the situation was resolved.
3) I am grateful for the snow. While other people have been complaining about the snow and the cold, I'm actually really happy. It means that for the next several months I won't have my kids bringing buckets worth of sand home in their boots. Plus, Brettley loves it, and it's so much fun to see the look of pure joy on his face when he talks about it.
1) I am grateful for my MyFitnessPal app. Using it, I have lost 9.2 lbs so far :D It's one of a few tools that I'm using to help stay focused, but it's incredibly useful and it would be a lot harder without it. Okay, so maybe I'm grateful for all of the tools that I'm using, ha ha.
2) I am grateful for the power of prayer. It helped us get through something that could have been potentially extremely stressful this past week. Instead, we were patient for a few days as we prayed and the situation was resolved.
3) I am grateful for the snow. While other people have been complaining about the snow and the cold, I'm actually really happy. It means that for the next several months I won't have my kids bringing buckets worth of sand home in their boots. Plus, Brettley loves it, and it's so much fun to see the look of pure joy on his face when he talks about it.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Thankful Thursday
1) I am grateful for suckers. No, seriously! Okay, so apparently I went hypoglycemic at mutual on Tuesday. It wasn't fun. Thankfully, our first counselor in YW and the bishopric member over YW figured out what was wrong pretty quickly (the bishopric member is currently in school to become an RN). We got enough sugar into me to get me home safely, but what really made all of the difference was the bright red sucker my husband handed me. That thing totally helped turn things around. I guess I'll be carrying them with me a lot from now on. Those things work wonders!
2) I am grateful for my amazing husband. There aren't enough words to describe how grateful I am for this wonderful man who stands beside me (and occasionally even carries me) through it all. All of me loves all of you, John.
3) I am grateful for a quick response from Telus this week about a concern about our wifi. They found John's tweet, had him contact them about the problem and within 24 hours they were here with a new modem getting our wifi to a much better speed. It may seem small, but it's so nice to see such a big company give good service these days :)
2) I am grateful for my amazing husband. There aren't enough words to describe how grateful I am for this wonderful man who stands beside me (and occasionally even carries me) through it all. All of me loves all of you, John.
3) I am grateful for a quick response from Telus this week about a concern about our wifi. They found John's tweet, had him contact them about the problem and within 24 hours they were here with a new modem getting our wifi to a much better speed. It may seem small, but it's so nice to see such a big company give good service these days :)
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Caleb Update
So an update about goings on with Caleb. We met with the psychiatrist yesterday and also with the psychologist. Caleb, as I've mentioned before, has been officially diagnosed with ADHD. He also meets the criteria, and then some, for Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but doesn't have an official diagnosis at this point. We will continue to see the psychiatrist every couple of months to ensure that his current medication and dosage is still working well for him. However, we no longer need to make use of the psychologist unless we choose to. We are happy with the progress that Caleb has made (more like thrilled, actually). Things are getting so much better and I am SO grateful for that.
Things with Caleb have been a very big learning experience and eye opener for me. I am learning so much about ADHD and ODD. I am learning how to change how I parent to be more effective for him. I am learning how to be an advocate for him in school. I am (finally) learning how to have more patience. Some of the eye openers have been learning that ADHD doesn't always look the way you expect it to. Also, a big one for me was accepting that sometimes, kids require medication, even if it's not a road you wanted to travel. The way I look at it now is that when my kids have a bacterial infection, I make sure they get antibiotics. Because something is actually wrong that causes Caleb to not have control, I make sure he has what he needs for it. Sick is sick! I know that from my own experience, and now I'm learning it from yet another angle as a parent.
I love Caleb so much, and I'm so grateful he's been a trouper through this trial as we waited and waited to find an answer.
Things with Caleb have been a very big learning experience and eye opener for me. I am learning so much about ADHD and ODD. I am learning how to change how I parent to be more effective for him. I am learning how to be an advocate for him in school. I am (finally) learning how to have more patience. Some of the eye openers have been learning that ADHD doesn't always look the way you expect it to. Also, a big one for me was accepting that sometimes, kids require medication, even if it's not a road you wanted to travel. The way I look at it now is that when my kids have a bacterial infection, I make sure they get antibiotics. Because something is actually wrong that causes Caleb to not have control, I make sure he has what he needs for it. Sick is sick! I know that from my own experience, and now I'm learning it from yet another angle as a parent.
I love Caleb so much, and I'm so grateful he's been a trouper through this trial as we waited and waited to find an answer.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Thankful Thursday
1) I am incredibly grateful for the amazing son of mine who turned 6 today. Ty is the most hilarious little guy I know and he is so adorable. I am beyond blessed to be his mother.
2) I am grateful for our military personnel and first responders, especially on days like yesterday. They deserve far more thanks than they get.
3) I am grateful for the amazing group of Young Women that I work with. They are such a strength to me and I love them so much.
2) I am grateful for our military personnel and first responders, especially on days like yesterday. They deserve far more thanks than they get.
3) I am grateful for the amazing group of Young Women that I work with. They are such a strength to me and I love them so much.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Thankful Friday?
I'm a day late with this, oops!
1) I am incredibly grateful that Caleb made the choice to be baptized this last weekend. What an amazing experience it was to see him do that!
2) I am grateful for my amazing mum who made sure that the potluck after Caleb's baptism ran smoothly when I got a wicked bad headache. She is a rockstar!
3) I am grateful for my good friend who brought me back some Excedrin when she was in the US last time. That stuff is amazing and so is she.
1) I am incredibly grateful that Caleb made the choice to be baptized this last weekend. What an amazing experience it was to see him do that!
2) I am grateful for my amazing mum who made sure that the potluck after Caleb's baptism ran smoothly when I got a wicked bad headache. She is a rockstar!
3) I am grateful for my good friend who brought me back some Excedrin when she was in the US last time. That stuff is amazing and so is she.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Thankful Thursday
First off, I cannot believe it's Thursday already. It seems like time just keeps going by faster and faster! Anyway, between the cleaning I have to get done to prepare for company, here is my blogging break for the day.
1) I am grateful for one of the young women coming and cleaning walls for me last week. Due to my permanent back injury, I can't wash my own walls anymore without causing myself extreme pain for weeks (still recovering from that mistake). As soon as she found out about this, she offered to come and do it for me, since 3 little boys obviously don't leave my walls clean (by any stretch of the imagination). She got most of my main floor walls cleaned that day and was super patient with the boys wanting to help her. What's more, is she plans to come back to do more. I love that girl!
2) I am grateful to finally have Caleb's diagnosis, after over a year of prayers upon prayers and searching so many avenues. We are learning so much about how to best help him!
3) I am grateful for music! I managed to acquire $90 in iTunes cards for my birthday and I am loving getting to pick new music to add to my phone. Music is such a huge part of my life and so helpful for stress, sadness, and whatever else might be going on at the time. It's almost got this magical quality to it. I love it!
1) I am grateful for one of the young women coming and cleaning walls for me last week. Due to my permanent back injury, I can't wash my own walls anymore without causing myself extreme pain for weeks (still recovering from that mistake). As soon as she found out about this, she offered to come and do it for me, since 3 little boys obviously don't leave my walls clean (by any stretch of the imagination). She got most of my main floor walls cleaned that day and was super patient with the boys wanting to help her. What's more, is she plans to come back to do more. I love that girl!
2) I am grateful to finally have Caleb's diagnosis, after over a year of prayers upon prayers and searching so many avenues. We are learning so much about how to best help him!
3) I am grateful for music! I managed to acquire $90 in iTunes cards for my birthday and I am loving getting to pick new music to add to my phone. Music is such a huge part of my life and so helpful for stress, sadness, and whatever else might be going on at the time. It's almost got this magical quality to it. I love it!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Diagnosis!
So after I blogged on Thursday, I had a chance to talk to Caleb's psychologist on the phone. This was probably the best conversation she and I have ever had (I'm normally anything BUT a fan of her). It was a good conversation because I felt like she was actually listening to me for once, but also because she finally told me what diagnosis the psychiatrist has given Caleb. As I've mentioned before, I've spent over a year now knowing that something was wrong and have been working hard trying to get Caleb the help that he needs. I have sacrificed taking care of my own mind this past year in order to take care of him. Finally getting an official diagnosis was a HUGE deal! So here it is:
Caleb has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder with a tendency toward Oppositional Defiant Disorder as well. When his medication was changed a couple of weeks ago, it was changed to a non-stimulant ADHD medication meant for kids. He seems to be doing well with it so far.
Now that we know what we are working with, we are figuring out how to proceed. I am becoming WELL educated in ADHD and working on becoming very educated about ODD as well and sharing what I learn with John. We are happy keeping our current concessions for Caleb in the classroom, but finding a few others we want to add in as well. We still have a long road ahead of us, Caleb especially, but we finally feel like we've at least found the right path, and that is a huge relief.
We understand that we will have lots of people belittle Caleb's diagnosis and try to convince us that ADHD doesn't really exist and/or that we shouldn't be medicating him for it. To them I bluntly say: "You live in the past year of my life in my place and go through everything I went through as we waited for this answer and THEN say that to my face". We feel peace with this answer, and we know that it is Heavenly Father telling us that it's right and we are SO grateful for His help and guidance in all of this.
Caleb has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder with a tendency toward Oppositional Defiant Disorder as well. When his medication was changed a couple of weeks ago, it was changed to a non-stimulant ADHD medication meant for kids. He seems to be doing well with it so far.
Now that we know what we are working with, we are figuring out how to proceed. I am becoming WELL educated in ADHD and working on becoming very educated about ODD as well and sharing what I learn with John. We are happy keeping our current concessions for Caleb in the classroom, but finding a few others we want to add in as well. We still have a long road ahead of us, Caleb especially, but we finally feel like we've at least found the right path, and that is a huge relief.
We understand that we will have lots of people belittle Caleb's diagnosis and try to convince us that ADHD doesn't really exist and/or that we shouldn't be medicating him for it. To them I bluntly say: "You live in the past year of my life in my place and go through everything I went through as we waited for this answer and THEN say that to my face". We feel peace with this answer, and we know that it is Heavenly Father telling us that it's right and we are SO grateful for His help and guidance in all of this.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Thankful Thursday and 30 Things
1) I am grateful for my amazing friend, AJ. She has been there to listen to me a lot, especially this past year. She helps me escape when I need a few hours away from the house. Of all of the amazing blessings I've been given while serving in YW callings, she's my favourite!
2) I am grateful for everything I've gained and learned in the past decade. When I turned 20, I had just joined the church a few months ago, had place L a month and a half before and had no clue where my life was going to take me next. Over these 10 years I married a wonderful man in the temple, we had 3 wonderful boys together, we learned just how much we're able to get through with each other and the help of our Heavenly Father. It truly has been a very amazing decade for me and I'm looking forward to seeing what my 30's bring.
3) I am grateful to officially have all of the winter gear shopping for the year done. I bought Brett's lighter mitts and Caleb's second pair of warm mitts this morning and I am now done and ready for the next round of snow (which can wait until after Caleb's baptism, pretty please). It's a big relief knowing there won't be a big rush for all of that stuff for us in a few weeks!
So since I'm turning 30 on Sunday, I decided to post 30 random facts about myself for it. I won't do it that day since I'll be busy watching General Conference and enjoying my bacon breakfast, so I'll just do it now.
1) I have more noticeable OCDisms than John, and he is officially diagnosed with it.
2) I love to randomly start dancing to music, even if it's just the tune stuck in my head.
3) I spent most of my weekends in grade 12 hanging out at home with my brother and have no regrets about it.
4) In my (almost) 30 years, I still haven't found a fashion style to stick with that works for me.
5) I have never had a broken bone.
6) If I was deep cleaning my room and rearranging it as a teen, it was best to stay away. It meant I was probably upset about something.
7) I read The Book of Mormon in a month earlier this year. I have no plans to do it that quickly again.
8) I have read the entire standard works cover to cover, and would love to do that one again.
9) I craved McDonald's cheeseburgers during my pregnancies with all 3 boys.
10) I can't stand typos. If they're mine, I need to correct them as soon as I notice them. If they were made by other people, it annoys me a lot more than it should.
11) I absolutely adore the baked ravioli that John makes for me. Seriously, someone should write a song about that stuff.
12) I have a huge fear of talking on the phone to people I don't know really well. I will avoid it at almost any cost.
13) One of my favourite gifts I've ever received was a handmade knit Ravenclaw scarf from my friend. She made it for me during transit rides and breaks at work.
14) My favourite book, contrary to what people think, is actually To Kill a Mockingbird.
15) My favourite thing to get in my stocking each year is notepads. I love making lists!
16) I LOVE bacon, but I make John cook it for me because I got several grease burns when I worked at KFC and they hurt really bad.
17) I have a slight obsession with Scentsy. Okay, more than slight.
18) I have really bad insomnia. It's a big deal if I manage to fall asleep without taking a pill to help with it or spending over an hour trying to fall asleep.
19) I have spring, summer and fall allergies that get worse each year. However, I finally found a medication rotation this year that works for me.
20) I love wearing fuzzy socks on cold days. I don't wear them out of the house very often, but they are amazing for around the house.
21) I sweep my floors in they same systematic way every single time I sweep them (remember number 1?).
22) My principal in my first elementary school wanted me to skip grade 2. Had my mum agreed to it, I would have still been 16 when I graduated from high school.
23) One year, I had 3 different Halloween costumes. One for school, one for Sparks and one for Halloween night.
24) When my brother and I were young, we got to help build our log cabin fort at our grandparents' farm. We loved that thing so much!
25) I actually get super excited each time Brettley outgrows a clothing size and I get to donate them instead of putting them into storage again. It feels like progress for some reason.
26) One of my most favourite days of the year is the day that I get my new calendar in the mail. I'm a sad, strange individual like that...
27) I seldom get sad when my kids move on from parts of their childhood, but I will admit to almost shedding a tear when Caleb decided he no longer wanted to hold my hand in front of his friend at the park.
28) My favourite place to eat is at Firestone in Lethbridge. I've only been there twice, but both experiences were absolutely amazing. John even said that they have ruined him for all other baked potatoes. I heartily agree!
29) I have been doing my own laundry since I was 7. It started because I got tired of picking Kleenix bits off of my clean clothes that had been in other people's pockets, so I begged my mum to teach me how to wash my own clothes.
30) I absolutely love sour gummy candies, particularly Sour Patch Kids. Yum!
2) I am grateful for everything I've gained and learned in the past decade. When I turned 20, I had just joined the church a few months ago, had place L a month and a half before and had no clue where my life was going to take me next. Over these 10 years I married a wonderful man in the temple, we had 3 wonderful boys together, we learned just how much we're able to get through with each other and the help of our Heavenly Father. It truly has been a very amazing decade for me and I'm looking forward to seeing what my 30's bring.
3) I am grateful to officially have all of the winter gear shopping for the year done. I bought Brett's lighter mitts and Caleb's second pair of warm mitts this morning and I am now done and ready for the next round of snow (which can wait until after Caleb's baptism, pretty please). It's a big relief knowing there won't be a big rush for all of that stuff for us in a few weeks!
So since I'm turning 30 on Sunday, I decided to post 30 random facts about myself for it. I won't do it that day since I'll be busy watching General Conference and enjoying my bacon breakfast, so I'll just do it now.
1) I have more noticeable OCDisms than John, and he is officially diagnosed with it.
2) I love to randomly start dancing to music, even if it's just the tune stuck in my head.
3) I spent most of my weekends in grade 12 hanging out at home with my brother and have no regrets about it.
4) In my (almost) 30 years, I still haven't found a fashion style to stick with that works for me.
5) I have never had a broken bone.
6) If I was deep cleaning my room and rearranging it as a teen, it was best to stay away. It meant I was probably upset about something.
7) I read The Book of Mormon in a month earlier this year. I have no plans to do it that quickly again.
8) I have read the entire standard works cover to cover, and would love to do that one again.
9) I craved McDonald's cheeseburgers during my pregnancies with all 3 boys.
10) I can't stand typos. If they're mine, I need to correct them as soon as I notice them. If they were made by other people, it annoys me a lot more than it should.
11) I absolutely adore the baked ravioli that John makes for me. Seriously, someone should write a song about that stuff.
12) I have a huge fear of talking on the phone to people I don't know really well. I will avoid it at almost any cost.
13) One of my favourite gifts I've ever received was a handmade knit Ravenclaw scarf from my friend. She made it for me during transit rides and breaks at work.
14) My favourite book, contrary to what people think, is actually To Kill a Mockingbird.
15) My favourite thing to get in my stocking each year is notepads. I love making lists!
16) I LOVE bacon, but I make John cook it for me because I got several grease burns when I worked at KFC and they hurt really bad.
17) I have a slight obsession with Scentsy. Okay, more than slight.
18) I have really bad insomnia. It's a big deal if I manage to fall asleep without taking a pill to help with it or spending over an hour trying to fall asleep.
19) I have spring, summer and fall allergies that get worse each year. However, I finally found a medication rotation this year that works for me.
20) I love wearing fuzzy socks on cold days. I don't wear them out of the house very often, but they are amazing for around the house.
21) I sweep my floors in they same systematic way every single time I sweep them (remember number 1?).
22) My principal in my first elementary school wanted me to skip grade 2. Had my mum agreed to it, I would have still been 16 when I graduated from high school.
23) One year, I had 3 different Halloween costumes. One for school, one for Sparks and one for Halloween night.
24) When my brother and I were young, we got to help build our log cabin fort at our grandparents' farm. We loved that thing so much!
25) I actually get super excited each time Brettley outgrows a clothing size and I get to donate them instead of putting them into storage again. It feels like progress for some reason.
26) One of my most favourite days of the year is the day that I get my new calendar in the mail. I'm a sad, strange individual like that...
27) I seldom get sad when my kids move on from parts of their childhood, but I will admit to almost shedding a tear when Caleb decided he no longer wanted to hold my hand in front of his friend at the park.
28) My favourite place to eat is at Firestone in Lethbridge. I've only been there twice, but both experiences were absolutely amazing. John even said that they have ruined him for all other baked potatoes. I heartily agree!
29) I have been doing my own laundry since I was 7. It started because I got tired of picking Kleenix bits off of my clean clothes that had been in other people's pockets, so I begged my mum to teach me how to wash my own clothes.
30) I absolutely love sour gummy candies, particularly Sour Patch Kids. Yum!
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Thankful Thursday
1) I am so grateful for my beautiful blue eyed boy who turned 8 today. He was loved long before he came to us. He has been such a huge source of strength to me and taught me so much about my abilities as a mother. I love that boy so very much.
2) I am grateful for the relationship I've been able to build with my dad the past few years. We spent an hour and a half just visiting yesterday and it meant the world to me. Plus, he gave me bacon :D
3) I am grateful for my new iHome that Mum bought me as an early birthday present. She said it was important I have it because music is one of the biggest helps in keeping me sane and that after the past year, I deserve that. I love it already and it is great!
2) I am grateful for the relationship I've been able to build with my dad the past few years. We spent an hour and a half just visiting yesterday and it meant the world to me. Plus, he gave me bacon :D
3) I am grateful for my new iHome that Mum bought me as an early birthday present. She said it was important I have it because music is one of the biggest helps in keeping me sane and that after the past year, I deserve that. I love it already and it is great!
Sunday, September 21, 2014
I Forgot Already
I forgot Thankful Thursday already, ack! In my defense, we had a lot going on this week and my mind was needed elsewhere. Here it is though, better late than never.
1) I am grateful for Caleb's psychiatrist who seems to genuinely care about him and was willing to change his meds, especially to a med with less side effects and none of the risks that the old ones had. It's so helpful to have support as we face this as a family and I'm so grateful to all of those who support us in any way.
2) I am grateful that many months ago my mum gave me permission to do the temple work for my grandma. Today is 1 year since Grandma passed away and it was an honor being able to print out her ordinance requests this morning to take to the temple this week to have the card printed. Next week I will have the opportunity to have her baptism and confirmation done and I am beyond grateful that I have the opportunity to do this.
3) I am grateful that Brettley loves 'Mommy School' preschool so much. He gets so excited to see what things he gets to do each day. He knows a lot more about numbers, colours and shapes than I'd originally thought and I think he'll pick up on the stuff he doesn't already know more easily than I'd anticipated. I'm enjoying so much one on one time with him this year. Hard to believe that 2 years from now he'll be in Kindergarten and I'll have to start figuring out what to do with my time.
1) I am grateful for Caleb's psychiatrist who seems to genuinely care about him and was willing to change his meds, especially to a med with less side effects and none of the risks that the old ones had. It's so helpful to have support as we face this as a family and I'm so grateful to all of those who support us in any way.
2) I am grateful that many months ago my mum gave me permission to do the temple work for my grandma. Today is 1 year since Grandma passed away and it was an honor being able to print out her ordinance requests this morning to take to the temple this week to have the card printed. Next week I will have the opportunity to have her baptism and confirmation done and I am beyond grateful that I have the opportunity to do this.
3) I am grateful that Brettley loves 'Mommy School' preschool so much. He gets so excited to see what things he gets to do each day. He knows a lot more about numbers, colours and shapes than I'd originally thought and I think he'll pick up on the stuff he doesn't already know more easily than I'd anticipated. I'm enjoying so much one on one time with him this year. Hard to believe that 2 years from now he'll be in Kindergarten and I'll have to start figuring out what to do with my time.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Thankful Thursday
In an effort to post more regularly on my blog and also to help with trials I'm currently facing, I've decided it's time to resurrect Thankful Thursday. Each Thursday I will post about 3 things that I'm thankful for.
1) I am incredibly thankful for both of my parents. My mum who helps me work through things when I'm feeling stuck and like I'm at my limit. Who is able to see solutions that I can't see in the moment, and even recognize what the stress is when I myself I don't know it. Who is working so hard to help with Caleb's baptism and to make the day a success when she herself is not a member of our church and doesn't fully understand why it is so important to us. She constantly amazes me. And my dad, who is always willing to help me at the drop of a hat and never asks for anything in return. Who helps where he can, but constantly recognizes that John and I are able to make our own decisions for our family and fully respects that. I am truly blessed to be the daughter of these 2 amazing people.
2) I am thankful for the Mia Maids in our ward. Oh, how much I love these girls, who I have had the privilege of serving over and over again. Who are constantly inspiring me, amazing me and helping to bring joy to my life. One of whom who has decided to come and do cleaning in my home that I can no longer do for myself, even before I suggested that she make it her Good Works value project. I don't think I could ever love a group of girls more than this group, and I am so thankful to yet again be serving them at this point in time.
3) I am thankful that I got my motivation back for working on round 3 of Personal Progress. The program always brings me so much happiness and strength. It gives me more of a sense of purpose. There aren't enough words to express how much I love Personal Progress.
1) I am incredibly thankful for both of my parents. My mum who helps me work through things when I'm feeling stuck and like I'm at my limit. Who is able to see solutions that I can't see in the moment, and even recognize what the stress is when I myself I don't know it. Who is working so hard to help with Caleb's baptism and to make the day a success when she herself is not a member of our church and doesn't fully understand why it is so important to us. She constantly amazes me. And my dad, who is always willing to help me at the drop of a hat and never asks for anything in return. Who helps where he can, but constantly recognizes that John and I are able to make our own decisions for our family and fully respects that. I am truly blessed to be the daughter of these 2 amazing people.
2) I am thankful for the Mia Maids in our ward. Oh, how much I love these girls, who I have had the privilege of serving over and over again. Who are constantly inspiring me, amazing me and helping to bring joy to my life. One of whom who has decided to come and do cleaning in my home that I can no longer do for myself, even before I suggested that she make it her Good Works value project. I don't think I could ever love a group of girls more than this group, and I am so thankful to yet again be serving them at this point in time.
3) I am thankful that I got my motivation back for working on round 3 of Personal Progress. The program always brings me so much happiness and strength. It gives me more of a sense of purpose. There aren't enough words to express how much I love Personal Progress.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
School is In
Well, the kids are officially back to school. We opted for them to come home for lunches this year to save us the $300 lunch fee to be allowed to eat at the school. They will still do breakfast club when it starts up on 15 September, though. They enjoy the break in the middle of the day and Brettley likes getting to play at the playground when we walk them back.
Ty got the most patient teacher I've ever seen and I'm really excited to see how well he'll do with her. He loves school and has been working on his sight words at home so he's finally on his way to learning to read. He loves getting to high five his words when he reads them correctly on his own.
Caleb's teacher and I talked yesterday and she is so understanding and receptive about his challenges with his emotions and the things we'd like to happen in the classroom to help with the situation. I'm very happy with her. Today was day 2 and he has already forgotten his sweater at the playground and his book pouch in his desk. *sigh*
Today was the first day I had Brettley during the school day. He was at my dad's yesterday. Today he was finally brave enough to play in the toy area in the basement by himself without anyone down there and he had a blast. He helped me make supper and cut veggies for John and was very happy to snack on some veggies of his own.
School is back, hallelujah! :)
Ty got the most patient teacher I've ever seen and I'm really excited to see how well he'll do with her. He loves school and has been working on his sight words at home so he's finally on his way to learning to read. He loves getting to high five his words when he reads them correctly on his own.
Caleb's teacher and I talked yesterday and she is so understanding and receptive about his challenges with his emotions and the things we'd like to happen in the classroom to help with the situation. I'm very happy with her. Today was day 2 and he has already forgotten his sweater at the playground and his book pouch in his desk. *sigh*
Today was the first day I had Brettley during the school day. He was at my dad's yesterday. Today he was finally brave enough to play in the toy area in the basement by himself without anyone down there and he had a blast. He helped me make supper and cut veggies for John and was very happy to snack on some veggies of his own.
School is back, hallelujah! :)
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Carpe Diem
I'm kind of embarrassed that it's been almost 2 months to the day since I've blogged. What's been going on in the Bly house? Let's start with the youngest, I suppose.
Brettley is 3, and I kind of feel like that explains everything to do with him right now. In our house, it's not the 2s that are terrible, it's the 3s. Brettley's circumstances of birth were, shall we say, less than ideal. As a result, he's been spoiled a lot, and we are going through the process of trying to break him of that. I'm reasonably certain that he's plotting his revenge half of the time, but he's still just so stinkin' adorable. We're going to start patching his good eye soon to try to avoid any more eye surgeries, so hopefully that will go well. He is currently obsessed with The Lego Movie and would watch it over and over all day long if I let him. His favourite person in the whole world is Grandpa Mattson, so he's very excited to be spending a special day at Grandpa's tomorrow without his brothers.
Ty finished Kindergarten in June and, much to his teacher's frustration, I have opted to move him forward to grade 1 next year. We had very different ideas about what would be the most beneficial for him, but I did my research and talked to people who had been in similar situations and strongly felt that he'd be far better off going to grade 1 instead doing another year of Kindergarten. Ty is still one of the most hilarious people I've ever known. He keeps things real in our house, and man do I love him for it. This summer he's been helping me take care of my flowers, and he is very sad that his special orange flowers that he picked out all by himself aren't faring so well anymore. He is such a sweet little guy.
Caleb...*sigh* Caleb's first few weeks of meds went very well. He wasn't hurting anyone anymore and he was a lot more willing to hear people out before getting upset. Then he started travelling for most of July and since then they haven't been going so well. I'm sincerely hoping and praying that once he gets the routine of school back that things will get a bit easier for him. My poor sweet boy, my heart just aches for him as we go through this. I can't imagine being that young and losing control so violently. On a lighter note, he is THRILLED to be going to grade 3 this year. He finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and has been reading lots of books from the library. He's also gotten into making crafts. He loves all things history and space.
We had our family vacation last month. We spent over a week in Magrath, where my allergies were absolutely awful. Luckily, my friend/cousin-in-law suggested a medication rotation that actually worked pretty decently. While we were down there we went to my father-in-law's grave and had a good cry. We went swimming in Raymond. It was a cooler day, but we had lots of fun there and took along our oldest niece. John had his birthday, and we had a blast in Lethbridge together while the kids stayed with Grandma. We went to dinner at Firestone and it was just as amazing as the first time I was there, if not better. John's sister, Kathy, threw her big birthday bash for the kids and rented a whole theatre just for us to go see Rio 2. The boys LOVED getting to see a movie that way with their cousins, and it was a lot of fun. We took in town celebrations and by Sunday morning all 5 of us were sick, so we went home a day early so that we could sleep comfortably in our own beds.
On Tuesday we headed to North Battleford to stay with my uncle and aunt for a few days. We all went to the museum there and the kids had SO much fun seeing all of the old buildings and items in them. They also spent time in the pool and sprinkler and finally discovered the joys of the Kinect for the X-Box, since we don't have a Kinect for our's. It was super hot while we were there, but it was so nice to get to spend time with 2 of my most favourite people. We left there super early Friday morning so that I could attend my brother's mother-in-law's funeral, and then we finally got home the day after that. We were all very happy to be back home.
I got to attend Stake YW camp at the beginning of July. I managed to injure my leg on the first day, and we never did figure out how it happened. We had an AMAZING (!!!!!) fireworks show at camp on Canada Day, and I discovered the amazingness of a Nutella & Marshmallow Fluff sandwich. Seriously, it was so super yummy. I love serving the Young Women again, it's one of my most favourite places in the whole world to be.
So that's where we're at...
Yesterday evening, we found out that Robin Williams had died. It prompted me to again watch one of my favourite movies, which he happens to be in, Dead Poets Society. My brother and I used to love to watch that movie together a lot, and I still can't watch it without thinking about him. It makes me cry even more than most movies. I love it. This quote from the movie has always been a favourite of mine "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." And my other favourite, "Carpe. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
So that will (hopefully) be my goal for now. To seize the day and make my life extraordinary!
Brettley is 3, and I kind of feel like that explains everything to do with him right now. In our house, it's not the 2s that are terrible, it's the 3s. Brettley's circumstances of birth were, shall we say, less than ideal. As a result, he's been spoiled a lot, and we are going through the process of trying to break him of that. I'm reasonably certain that he's plotting his revenge half of the time, but he's still just so stinkin' adorable. We're going to start patching his good eye soon to try to avoid any more eye surgeries, so hopefully that will go well. He is currently obsessed with The Lego Movie and would watch it over and over all day long if I let him. His favourite person in the whole world is Grandpa Mattson, so he's very excited to be spending a special day at Grandpa's tomorrow without his brothers.
Ty finished Kindergarten in June and, much to his teacher's frustration, I have opted to move him forward to grade 1 next year. We had very different ideas about what would be the most beneficial for him, but I did my research and talked to people who had been in similar situations and strongly felt that he'd be far better off going to grade 1 instead doing another year of Kindergarten. Ty is still one of the most hilarious people I've ever known. He keeps things real in our house, and man do I love him for it. This summer he's been helping me take care of my flowers, and he is very sad that his special orange flowers that he picked out all by himself aren't faring so well anymore. He is such a sweet little guy.
Caleb...*sigh* Caleb's first few weeks of meds went very well. He wasn't hurting anyone anymore and he was a lot more willing to hear people out before getting upset. Then he started travelling for most of July and since then they haven't been going so well. I'm sincerely hoping and praying that once he gets the routine of school back that things will get a bit easier for him. My poor sweet boy, my heart just aches for him as we go through this. I can't imagine being that young and losing control so violently. On a lighter note, he is THRILLED to be going to grade 3 this year. He finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and has been reading lots of books from the library. He's also gotten into making crafts. He loves all things history and space.
We had our family vacation last month. We spent over a week in Magrath, where my allergies were absolutely awful. Luckily, my friend/cousin-in-law suggested a medication rotation that actually worked pretty decently. While we were down there we went to my father-in-law's grave and had a good cry. We went swimming in Raymond. It was a cooler day, but we had lots of fun there and took along our oldest niece. John had his birthday, and we had a blast in Lethbridge together while the kids stayed with Grandma. We went to dinner at Firestone and it was just as amazing as the first time I was there, if not better. John's sister, Kathy, threw her big birthday bash for the kids and rented a whole theatre just for us to go see Rio 2. The boys LOVED getting to see a movie that way with their cousins, and it was a lot of fun. We took in town celebrations and by Sunday morning all 5 of us were sick, so we went home a day early so that we could sleep comfortably in our own beds.
On Tuesday we headed to North Battleford to stay with my uncle and aunt for a few days. We all went to the museum there and the kids had SO much fun seeing all of the old buildings and items in them. They also spent time in the pool and sprinkler and finally discovered the joys of the Kinect for the X-Box, since we don't have a Kinect for our's. It was super hot while we were there, but it was so nice to get to spend time with 2 of my most favourite people. We left there super early Friday morning so that I could attend my brother's mother-in-law's funeral, and then we finally got home the day after that. We were all very happy to be back home.
I got to attend Stake YW camp at the beginning of July. I managed to injure my leg on the first day, and we never did figure out how it happened. We had an AMAZING (!!!!!) fireworks show at camp on Canada Day, and I discovered the amazingness of a Nutella & Marshmallow Fluff sandwich. Seriously, it was so super yummy. I love serving the Young Women again, it's one of my most favourite places in the whole world to be.
So that's where we're at...
Yesterday evening, we found out that Robin Williams had died. It prompted me to again watch one of my favourite movies, which he happens to be in, Dead Poets Society. My brother and I used to love to watch that movie together a lot, and I still can't watch it without thinking about him. It makes me cry even more than most movies. I love it. This quote from the movie has always been a favourite of mine "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." And my other favourite, "Carpe. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
So that will (hopefully) be my goal for now. To seize the day and make my life extraordinary!
Friday, June 13, 2014
Caleb Update
So here is what came out of Caleb's meeting with the child psychiatrist. He has very serious anxiety issues (which we very much knew). We will be watching him since he's showing signs of having bipolar disorder. He will work on learning skills to deal with his emotions effectively. Caleb is far more intellectually mature than he is emotionally mature, and it's causing a big disconnect in him (we've heard this from a few people, actually). And get ready with your torches and pitchforks here... For the next 4-6 months he is taking an antipsychotic to reduce the frequency and the severity of his outbursts.
I'll address the medication issue first. We had always said before that we would medicate our kids as a last resort. Let me be clear, we were at that point. As I stated 2 posts ago, things have been really bad for the last 9 months, and I had hit my limit. Furthermore, with summer holidays about to start and there being no school to break up the week, I knew it was necessary. It is not a permanent solution, it is temporary until he has learned the skills that he needs to learn.
As for the part about him showing signs of bipolar, I kind of already knew this. It was glaringly obvious how much of myself I was seeing in him when he struggled. It's different coming at this with a child. We'll catch it WAY earlier than it was caught with me. We've already found an effective way to manage it, which he will be doing as soon as he is done taking the antipsychotics. He will never have to worry about morning sickness interfering with his ability to take his supplement, and he won't have to worry about monthly hormonal changes messing everything up either. We've been through this before, so we have a far better idea of how to help him through it than we did with me. And finally, he has a mother that has been through it first hand. I've got understanding about this in spades.
So...We have quite the road ahead of us, but it finally feels like we're making progress and that we have an idea of where we need to be going. I am SO thankful for everyone who has helped us during the past 9 months, especially our amazing and patient bishop. But every thought, prayer and kind word from everyone during this time has been far more appreciated than you know.
I'll address the medication issue first. We had always said before that we would medicate our kids as a last resort. Let me be clear, we were at that point. As I stated 2 posts ago, things have been really bad for the last 9 months, and I had hit my limit. Furthermore, with summer holidays about to start and there being no school to break up the week, I knew it was necessary. It is not a permanent solution, it is temporary until he has learned the skills that he needs to learn.
As for the part about him showing signs of bipolar, I kind of already knew this. It was glaringly obvious how much of myself I was seeing in him when he struggled. It's different coming at this with a child. We'll catch it WAY earlier than it was caught with me. We've already found an effective way to manage it, which he will be doing as soon as he is done taking the antipsychotics. He will never have to worry about morning sickness interfering with his ability to take his supplement, and he won't have to worry about monthly hormonal changes messing everything up either. We've been through this before, so we have a far better idea of how to help him through it than we did with me. And finally, he has a mother that has been through it first hand. I've got understanding about this in spades.
So...We have quite the road ahead of us, but it finally feels like we're making progress and that we have an idea of where we need to be going. I am SO thankful for everyone who has helped us during the past 9 months, especially our amazing and patient bishop. But every thought, prayer and kind word from everyone during this time has been far more appreciated than you know.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
And Back Here On The Positive Side...
Yesterday's post was focused on the tough things I'm struggling with, so I felt that I needed to post some positive things today to balance it out a bit (and maybe as a precaution so that people don't think I'm totally losing it again). So what are some good things that have happened this school year?
Brettley ended up catching up enough in his development that we were able to remove him from the Early Intervention Program. He's actually become quite the articulate little boy. He's still on the short side, but very well proportioned. He's hilarious and adorable.
Tyrell benefited greatly from having an awesome teacher for a few months in the middle of the school year, and will be able to go through to grade 1 next year (we weren't sure if he'd be able to or not). He has actually matured a lot during this year, but is still as random and funny as ever.
Caleb has become quite the voracious reader. It's something that's beneficial, and makes him feel better about himself when he finishes particularly big books. He has already finished the first 3 Harry Potter books and is halfway through the fourth, on top of the hundreds of other books he has read in this school year alone. We have learned that he LOVES science and his exceptionally good memory is very helpful when he wants to tell us about the latest fact he's discovered.
John was able to work a bunch of overtime this spring, and as a result we'll be able to have 2 weeks of holidays this summer. We'll be visiting his family in Magrath first, and then we'll be going to visit my uncle and aunt in North Battleford. We are SO excited to be able to do this, as last summer, his holidays were only 2 days off for Brettley's surgery. The kids are looking forward to the trips as well.
My dad has been one of the biggest blessings we have as a family, there to help us out whenever we need him, which has been a lot because of all of the appointments, school events and other things that come up.
I got called back in to Young Women!!! This was HUGE for me. It was almost like I physically felt myself coming back to life when this happened. I finished Personal Progress for a second time and am currently working on round 3. I love the Young Women program so much, and it is where I thrive the most. I am enjoying every single week that I'm blessed to be serving there again. It has also helped me start to develop a good relationship with one of my nieces, which I value so much.
I started playing Dungeons and Dragons with John. This may not seem like a big deal, but it's a way for us to spend lots of time together where we're actually interacting and conversing, as opposed to just watching TV or movies together. It's something that we really enjoy doing and it has brought us even closer together. It's been so much fun!
Brettley ended up catching up enough in his development that we were able to remove him from the Early Intervention Program. He's actually become quite the articulate little boy. He's still on the short side, but very well proportioned. He's hilarious and adorable.
Tyrell benefited greatly from having an awesome teacher for a few months in the middle of the school year, and will be able to go through to grade 1 next year (we weren't sure if he'd be able to or not). He has actually matured a lot during this year, but is still as random and funny as ever.
Caleb has become quite the voracious reader. It's something that's beneficial, and makes him feel better about himself when he finishes particularly big books. He has already finished the first 3 Harry Potter books and is halfway through the fourth, on top of the hundreds of other books he has read in this school year alone. We have learned that he LOVES science and his exceptionally good memory is very helpful when he wants to tell us about the latest fact he's discovered.
John was able to work a bunch of overtime this spring, and as a result we'll be able to have 2 weeks of holidays this summer. We'll be visiting his family in Magrath first, and then we'll be going to visit my uncle and aunt in North Battleford. We are SO excited to be able to do this, as last summer, his holidays were only 2 days off for Brettley's surgery. The kids are looking forward to the trips as well.
My dad has been one of the biggest blessings we have as a family, there to help us out whenever we need him, which has been a lot because of all of the appointments, school events and other things that come up.
I got called back in to Young Women!!! This was HUGE for me. It was almost like I physically felt myself coming back to life when this happened. I finished Personal Progress for a second time and am currently working on round 3. I love the Young Women program so much, and it is where I thrive the most. I am enjoying every single week that I'm blessed to be serving there again. It has also helped me start to develop a good relationship with one of my nieces, which I value so much.
I started playing Dungeons and Dragons with John. This may not seem like a big deal, but it's a way for us to spend lots of time together where we're actually interacting and conversing, as opposed to just watching TV or movies together. It's something that we really enjoy doing and it has brought us even closer together. It's been so much fun!
Monday, June 9, 2014
It's Really Lonely Over Here
In going back over past posts, I've realized that I've been just as secretive on here about what's been going with Caleb this year as I've been in every other area of my life. I've given little snippets of information, but I've been holding in just how hard it's actually been. I've given more information to a few select people, but even ended up hardly doing that anymore. After a while, it gets tiring hearing "he's a boy, he'll grow out of it" and similar things. I've learned to trust my mum instincts, they are RARELY wrong, especially when it comes to Caleb. And I know in my heart of hearts that this is NOT just because "he's a boy" or because "he's still young". There is a very real and very serious concern. But how do you get across to people that you need support from your friends because:
You've spent a significant potion of the past 9 months getting punched, slapped, kicked and hit by things thrown by your 7 year old child. That you've had countless times that you've had to restrain him so that he would no longer be able to do these things to your other children. That there have been so many times that you've had to just stand there and take it because you were too scared that if you tried to stop him that he'd accidentally get hurt in the process, but walking away wasn't an option because he would then be a danger to himself and to your younger children. That you've spent hours and hours bawling your eyes out because your very young child has already struggled with thoughts of self-harm. That you've been through option after option trying to get your child the help that they need and that it's always a constant battle to make sure that the help you are seeing understand just how serious the situation actually is and have had a (so-called) professional even shrug it off and try to turn it back around on you. That he has started lying about things so extreme that you had the system called about you over something that wasn't even remotely true. That you've been mortified as the principal has called to tell you (yet again) that your son hurt a classmate when he was unprovoked and you feel awful for the child who was hurt and know exactly how upset their parent must have been when their kid told them what happened at school that day. That you've constantly felt like a failure as a parent because no matter what you try to do about these things, it's NEVER enough.
To top it off, during this time, you've been having to make a decision about whether or not your 3 year old has caught up enough in his development to take him out of the Early Intervention Program or not. You've also had to decide whether to bow to the school's pressure to hold your child back in Kindergarten for another year. You lose both of your grandparents within 6 weeks. You find out that your mother had cancer. You have been dealing with serious repercussions of your own mental illness that leave you physically scarred (probably for the rest of your life).
Yes, THIS has been my life for the last 9 months. Are there good things that happened in there? Absolutely! But when you're dealing with this on a regular basis, you end up physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted pretty much ALL of the time. You end up breaking down in tears in the principal's office, and in the bishop's office. It takes everything you have to keep on going. And you do all of this feeling oh so alone. Because you have no idea where to even turn for support anymore.
This is why there has been so much blog silence from me this school year. Because THIS ^ has been my life. And I don't even know where it's safe to talk about it anymore, because so many people won't take it seriously.
You've spent a significant potion of the past 9 months getting punched, slapped, kicked and hit by things thrown by your 7 year old child. That you've had countless times that you've had to restrain him so that he would no longer be able to do these things to your other children. That there have been so many times that you've had to just stand there and take it because you were too scared that if you tried to stop him that he'd accidentally get hurt in the process, but walking away wasn't an option because he would then be a danger to himself and to your younger children. That you've spent hours and hours bawling your eyes out because your very young child has already struggled with thoughts of self-harm. That you've been through option after option trying to get your child the help that they need and that it's always a constant battle to make sure that the help you are seeing understand just how serious the situation actually is and have had a (so-called) professional even shrug it off and try to turn it back around on you. That he has started lying about things so extreme that you had the system called about you over something that wasn't even remotely true. That you've been mortified as the principal has called to tell you (yet again) that your son hurt a classmate when he was unprovoked and you feel awful for the child who was hurt and know exactly how upset their parent must have been when their kid told them what happened at school that day. That you've constantly felt like a failure as a parent because no matter what you try to do about these things, it's NEVER enough.
To top it off, during this time, you've been having to make a decision about whether or not your 3 year old has caught up enough in his development to take him out of the Early Intervention Program or not. You've also had to decide whether to bow to the school's pressure to hold your child back in Kindergarten for another year. You lose both of your grandparents within 6 weeks. You find out that your mother had cancer. You have been dealing with serious repercussions of your own mental illness that leave you physically scarred (probably for the rest of your life).
Yes, THIS has been my life for the last 9 months. Are there good things that happened in there? Absolutely! But when you're dealing with this on a regular basis, you end up physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted pretty much ALL of the time. You end up breaking down in tears in the principal's office, and in the bishop's office. It takes everything you have to keep on going. And you do all of this feeling oh so alone. Because you have no idea where to even turn for support anymore.
This is why there has been so much blog silence from me this school year. Because THIS ^ has been my life. And I don't even know where it's safe to talk about it anymore, because so many people won't take it seriously.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Learning Experiences in Motherhood
I feel like I'm finally in a place where I can go public with this story. I also feel like I should, since it was a great learning experience for me.
To start with, Caleb has been struggling with some really serious mental health issues this school year. I've spent most of the past 9 months stressing about how to best help him and get him the outside help that he needs. I've been being punched, hit, kicked, had things thrown at me and had to protect my other 2 kids while all of this was going on. It has NOT been an easy road. When Caleb started getting violent, I became even more hands off with him. I wouldn't stop him when he was hurting me because I was scared I'd accidentally hurt him. I know that what he was feeling inside must be scary enough, he didn't need that to happen on top of it. Caleb has also been struggling with a serious lack of self esteem and sense of self-worth. There is your background to this story.
A few weeks ago, Caleb was feeling like he needed attention while in his primary class with a newer teacher who didn't know what he's been going through or even that I was Caleb's mum. So he decided to tell a tall tale to get the attention he was seeking and proceeded to tell his primary teacher that I spanked him so hard that his bum bled. Let me be clear, this is NOT EVEN CLOSE to being true. But the teacher didn't know who his mum was, or that Caleb had quickly been turning into a compulsive liar, or all of the other issues that Caleb has had going on. I wasn't even aware that he officially HAD a different primary teacher. So filled with concern for Caleb, she took the matter to the bishopric. When an allegation like that is taken to the bishopric, things HAVE to be handled a certain way. So some sort of authorities were called (to this day, I'm not sure if it was the police, or child services). Luckily, we have an amazing bishop, who called me immediately after, explained what had been said in the classroom and what had to happen because it had been said. He assured me that it was most likely that the worst that would happen would be having do do an interview with them over the phone. He let me know that if I had any problems with child services that I was to let him know and he would be there to help me through it (also helps that my bishop is a lawyer). He reassured me that during the phone call he'd had to make that he'd let them know some of the things that Caleb had been struggling with this year.
As a mother, I was mortified that my child would even say something like that. I still am, to be honest. But that's not the learning experience. First, and foremost, it reassured me that Heavenly Father is looking out for me through all of my struggles with Caleb. I'm not someone who wants to take their struggles to the bishop (in the past, I've hit rock bottom before I've gone to him), but I felt strongly with this particular trial this school year that the bishop needed to know what was going on, and we'd spoke about it several times. Because of that, our bishop knew enough to let the authorities know what was going on with Caleb. It prevented me from even having to do a phone interview with them, which would have sent my anxiety level through the atmosphere, I'm sure.
This experience also taught me about looking at things the right way. I could have been bitter that the primary teacher hadn't talked to me about it before going to the bishop. It's not hard to find out who someone's mum is. I could have been mad that policy dictated that authorities HAD to be called. I didn't get like that, though. I was able to immediately look at it from this viewpoint: Had Caleb been abused by anyone else and for whatever reason felt more comfortable telling his primary teacher than telling me, I am SO GLAD that it would have been taken seriously and not just shrugged off.
But the thing that is most evident from this learning experience, is what it has done for Caleb. He saw how much it tore me down when he lied about me like that. And since then, he has worked insanely harder to keep his anger in check and to not say things that aren't true. He finally had enough of a wake up call to make a difference. We will have a long way to go, his self esteem and self worth issues are still very much there, but for the first time since September, I finally feel like we're making some progress!
Lastly, it says a lot about how far I've come with my anxiety issues that I've been able to handle this situation as well as I did. I seldom feel like I'm doing an okay job as a mother and developing into a better person, but this showed that I am definitely making progress. So as awful and hard as this experience was, I am actually grateful for it. It's so amazing what we can learn to be grateful for if we let ourselves.
To start with, Caleb has been struggling with some really serious mental health issues this school year. I've spent most of the past 9 months stressing about how to best help him and get him the outside help that he needs. I've been being punched, hit, kicked, had things thrown at me and had to protect my other 2 kids while all of this was going on. It has NOT been an easy road. When Caleb started getting violent, I became even more hands off with him. I wouldn't stop him when he was hurting me because I was scared I'd accidentally hurt him. I know that what he was feeling inside must be scary enough, he didn't need that to happen on top of it. Caleb has also been struggling with a serious lack of self esteem and sense of self-worth. There is your background to this story.
A few weeks ago, Caleb was feeling like he needed attention while in his primary class with a newer teacher who didn't know what he's been going through or even that I was Caleb's mum. So he decided to tell a tall tale to get the attention he was seeking and proceeded to tell his primary teacher that I spanked him so hard that his bum bled. Let me be clear, this is NOT EVEN CLOSE to being true. But the teacher didn't know who his mum was, or that Caleb had quickly been turning into a compulsive liar, or all of the other issues that Caleb has had going on. I wasn't even aware that he officially HAD a different primary teacher. So filled with concern for Caleb, she took the matter to the bishopric. When an allegation like that is taken to the bishopric, things HAVE to be handled a certain way. So some sort of authorities were called (to this day, I'm not sure if it was the police, or child services). Luckily, we have an amazing bishop, who called me immediately after, explained what had been said in the classroom and what had to happen because it had been said. He assured me that it was most likely that the worst that would happen would be having do do an interview with them over the phone. He let me know that if I had any problems with child services that I was to let him know and he would be there to help me through it (also helps that my bishop is a lawyer). He reassured me that during the phone call he'd had to make that he'd let them know some of the things that Caleb had been struggling with this year.
As a mother, I was mortified that my child would even say something like that. I still am, to be honest. But that's not the learning experience. First, and foremost, it reassured me that Heavenly Father is looking out for me through all of my struggles with Caleb. I'm not someone who wants to take their struggles to the bishop (in the past, I've hit rock bottom before I've gone to him), but I felt strongly with this particular trial this school year that the bishop needed to know what was going on, and we'd spoke about it several times. Because of that, our bishop knew enough to let the authorities know what was going on with Caleb. It prevented me from even having to do a phone interview with them, which would have sent my anxiety level through the atmosphere, I'm sure.
This experience also taught me about looking at things the right way. I could have been bitter that the primary teacher hadn't talked to me about it before going to the bishop. It's not hard to find out who someone's mum is. I could have been mad that policy dictated that authorities HAD to be called. I didn't get like that, though. I was able to immediately look at it from this viewpoint: Had Caleb been abused by anyone else and for whatever reason felt more comfortable telling his primary teacher than telling me, I am SO GLAD that it would have been taken seriously and not just shrugged off.
But the thing that is most evident from this learning experience, is what it has done for Caleb. He saw how much it tore me down when he lied about me like that. And since then, he has worked insanely harder to keep his anger in check and to not say things that aren't true. He finally had enough of a wake up call to make a difference. We will have a long way to go, his self esteem and self worth issues are still very much there, but for the first time since September, I finally feel like we're making some progress!
Lastly, it says a lot about how far I've come with my anxiety issues that I've been able to handle this situation as well as I did. I seldom feel like I'm doing an okay job as a mother and developing into a better person, but this showed that I am definitely making progress. So as awful and hard as this experience was, I am actually grateful for it. It's so amazing what we can learn to be grateful for if we let ourselves.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Um, I'm Still Here
Okay, it's been over 2 months. I'd say I'm long overdue for a blog post. Since then I have finished my second round of Personal Progress and started on round 3 this morning. I just can't get enough of that program. I am still the Mia Maids adviser in our ward, just under a different presidency. I got to experience pneumonia for the first time in April, which was incorrectly diagnosed as a viral cold the first time I went in to see a doctor. I will NEVER see him again, since I was completely symptomatic for pneumonia and he totally shrugged it off without even ordering chest x-rays. Thankfully, my mother-in-law was here the first week that I had it to take care of the kids, and then my mum and dad both helped me out the second week. Caleb got it as well, but I knew what I was looking for, so he didn't get remotely as sick as I had.
The other week I had a spa day with my mum. It was great to spend some time with her, although it reminded me that I don't relax well (oops). This past weekend I was in Lethbridge for my brother's convocation from the U of L. He earned his Bachelor of Management. I went down with my dad, which means that I had 2 full days without John and the kids. Remember what I said about how I don't relax well? Yeah, still true here. I'm so glad that I was able to go and support him, though. Also, we had an AMAZING (!!!!!!) meal at Firestone on Friday. Hands down the best meal I've ever had in a restaurant.
Now we're buckling down for the last month of the school year (when did that happen?!?). Track and field day this week, pancake breakfast next week, field trip the week after where I'm am volunteering and then after that it will be the last week of school. Throw in a YW leadership meeting, temple recommend interview, child psychiatrist appointment, 2 baby showers, Father's day, camp prep and a birthday party and you end up with a VERY busy month ahead of us. I have YW camp the week after school lets out, which I'm really excited for and desperately praying to not have another lice experience this time around (ha ha).
In even bigger news, we actually get to take summer holidays this year, YAY :D John will be off of work for two and a half weeks. We'll be in Magrath for over a week, home for a day for dental consults for Caleb and Tyrell, and then in North Battleford for a bit to visit my uncle and aunt (under far better circumstances than the last 2 times).
I got to officially let the school know this morning that we will not be keeping Tyrell in kindergarten for a second year next year. They asked us to seriously consider it, but after talking to several people, we decided that we'd prefer him to repeat grade 1 if necessary, rather than kindergarten. I've already started buying school supplies for the boys for next year. (I may or may not absolutely ADORE buying school supplies)
So that's what's be going down and what's in store for the Bly family. I am most looking forward to not being stuck at home all summer this year. What are you looking forward to the most in SUMMER 2014?
The other week I had a spa day with my mum. It was great to spend some time with her, although it reminded me that I don't relax well (oops). This past weekend I was in Lethbridge for my brother's convocation from the U of L. He earned his Bachelor of Management. I went down with my dad, which means that I had 2 full days without John and the kids. Remember what I said about how I don't relax well? Yeah, still true here. I'm so glad that I was able to go and support him, though. Also, we had an AMAZING (!!!!!!) meal at Firestone on Friday. Hands down the best meal I've ever had in a restaurant.
Now we're buckling down for the last month of the school year (when did that happen?!?). Track and field day this week, pancake breakfast next week, field trip the week after where I'm am volunteering and then after that it will be the last week of school. Throw in a YW leadership meeting, temple recommend interview, child psychiatrist appointment, 2 baby showers, Father's day, camp prep and a birthday party and you end up with a VERY busy month ahead of us. I have YW camp the week after school lets out, which I'm really excited for and desperately praying to not have another lice experience this time around (ha ha).
In even bigger news, we actually get to take summer holidays this year, YAY :D John will be off of work for two and a half weeks. We'll be in Magrath for over a week, home for a day for dental consults for Caleb and Tyrell, and then in North Battleford for a bit to visit my uncle and aunt (under far better circumstances than the last 2 times).
I got to officially let the school know this morning that we will not be keeping Tyrell in kindergarten for a second year next year. They asked us to seriously consider it, but after talking to several people, we decided that we'd prefer him to repeat grade 1 if necessary, rather than kindergarten. I've already started buying school supplies for the boys for next year. (I may or may not absolutely ADORE buying school supplies)
So that's what's be going down and what's in store for the Bly family. I am most looking forward to not being stuck at home all summer this year. What are you looking forward to the most in SUMMER 2014?
Friday, March 28, 2014
Friday Update
So I decided to do an update today!
Brettley has spent most of the last few months sick. He finally started doing better late last week. He gets sick a lot more than the other 2 ever did. He's also a very opinionated and belligerent 3 year old boy, but oh so adorable.
Ty is currently sick. He did very well on his last report card and has progressed so much since he got a new teacher at the beginning of February. He now has the teacher that Caleb had, who I adore and she is just amazing with the kids. We are starting to notice him maturing as well, which is always reassuring.
Caleb is...He's Caleb. We've been trying to deal with some pretty big mental health issues with him this year, so we're still in the middle of trying to figure out what the problem even is. We've had 2 psychologists tell us that, yes, there is a problem and cause for concern, but they're not sure what the specific problem is. When the issue isn't bothering him, though, he's doing great. He's getting a new "to him" bed from Grandma Jo in a few weeks, which is a double, so he's very excited about that.
John is as normal, busy working during the day and helping me hold down the fort during evenings and weekends. He's been great about dealing with sick kids while I've been doing my calling this past month.
I am doing well. I have officially lost the first 10 lbs in my weight loss, which feels AMAZING! I got to box up almost all of my plus size clothing the other week to take to Value Village. I have been doing great with plugging away at my Personal Progress and have already finished 2 of the values (Faith and Virtue). I believe I'm almost halfway done all of Personal Progress... I am still loving my calling. The girls are amazing and so inspiring. I love them!
Brettley has spent most of the last few months sick. He finally started doing better late last week. He gets sick a lot more than the other 2 ever did. He's also a very opinionated and belligerent 3 year old boy, but oh so adorable.
Ty is currently sick. He did very well on his last report card and has progressed so much since he got a new teacher at the beginning of February. He now has the teacher that Caleb had, who I adore and she is just amazing with the kids. We are starting to notice him maturing as well, which is always reassuring.
Caleb is...He's Caleb. We've been trying to deal with some pretty big mental health issues with him this year, so we're still in the middle of trying to figure out what the problem even is. We've had 2 psychologists tell us that, yes, there is a problem and cause for concern, but they're not sure what the specific problem is. When the issue isn't bothering him, though, he's doing great. He's getting a new "to him" bed from Grandma Jo in a few weeks, which is a double, so he's very excited about that.
John is as normal, busy working during the day and helping me hold down the fort during evenings and weekends. He's been great about dealing with sick kids while I've been doing my calling this past month.
I am doing well. I have officially lost the first 10 lbs in my weight loss, which feels AMAZING! I got to box up almost all of my plus size clothing the other week to take to Value Village. I have been doing great with plugging away at my Personal Progress and have already finished 2 of the values (Faith and Virtue). I believe I'm almost halfway done all of Personal Progress... I am still loving my calling. The girls are amazing and so inspiring. I love them!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
'New' Math
I realize that I'm opening myself up to a world of debate here, but I'd like to blog about the 'new' math being taught in schools in Alberta. I didn't hear about it until the last couple of months, to be honest. From the sounds of it, it was the same way for most people. However, did you know that it actually started being implemented in 2008, which was over 5.5 years ago? Why are people just starting to complain about it now? It has been fully implemented since 2012, which was over a full school year ago!
Normally I take a live and let live approach to whatever controversial topic is going on at the time. However, on this one I DO NOT! I am pro 'new' math. Here's why:
I was the kind of student who did very well in school when learning was still very much hands on. As soon as school became about teachers lecturing at the front of the classroom and/or letting textbooks do the teaching for them, I started doing poorly in school. If I didn't show my math work exactly how I was expected to think the process through, I was docked marks. Not because my answer was wrong (which it wasn't), but because my thinking process wasn't considered the acceptable one. I was an exceptional math student when I was allowed to figure things out in my own way, but the more rigid the thought process became, the worse I did. I would have excelled with this so-called 'new' math. And had this kind of teaching been applied in other subjects as well, I would have remained an honors student. However, I was taught fully on the 'traditional' system, where if you couldn't do things in a specific way then you were wrong and left behind in the dust. I firmly believe that schools and educators need to accept the fact that different people learn in different ways and that they need to support more than 1 way of learning so that more students can excel in their own way of coming to the correct answer. This math curriculum actually addresses the fact that there is more than 1 way to get there.
Furthermore, both of my children have been doing the new math program since they started school. To be honest, I didn't even notice that they were, I just remember thinking that I liked how hands-on they were with learning it. I assumed it was just their teachers finding a great way that works. Both of my boys that are in school do extremely well in math. They do these kinds of activities at home as well, and I can see how beneficial it is to them. When they, on occasion, don't get the correct answer the first time they DO self-correct and end up finding the right one in their own way. They are learning math skills that are actually applicable to the real world. Bottom line here is that I learned every single math skill that I still use in real life while I was in elementary school. I grant you that I'm not an engineer or anything like that, but I firmly believe that teaching math that is applicable to the real world is beneficial. If people are THAT adamant that their child memorize the multiplication table, then work on it at home for 15 minutes after homework or something. Be proactive in your child's education. Don't feed me lines about being a working parent. I was raised by a single working mother who still made sure to make time to help her kids with any and all school projects or homework they had. It IS possible to be a working parent and still be active in your child's education.
So there you have it. With all of the crap going around dissing on the 'new' math program, here was my side of the argument. For the record, I have read up on the new curriculum and how the teaching works before I wrote this. But this is Alberta. Even when we hate something, we're still unwilling to change it because it would appear that we hate changing it up even more. Don't get me wrong, I love living in Alberta and it would take a miracle to make me leave. But as a province we tend to be extremely resistant to change...That's just 1 mother's opinion, though.
Normally I take a live and let live approach to whatever controversial topic is going on at the time. However, on this one I DO NOT! I am pro 'new' math. Here's why:
I was the kind of student who did very well in school when learning was still very much hands on. As soon as school became about teachers lecturing at the front of the classroom and/or letting textbooks do the teaching for them, I started doing poorly in school. If I didn't show my math work exactly how I was expected to think the process through, I was docked marks. Not because my answer was wrong (which it wasn't), but because my thinking process wasn't considered the acceptable one. I was an exceptional math student when I was allowed to figure things out in my own way, but the more rigid the thought process became, the worse I did. I would have excelled with this so-called 'new' math. And had this kind of teaching been applied in other subjects as well, I would have remained an honors student. However, I was taught fully on the 'traditional' system, where if you couldn't do things in a specific way then you were wrong and left behind in the dust. I firmly believe that schools and educators need to accept the fact that different people learn in different ways and that they need to support more than 1 way of learning so that more students can excel in their own way of coming to the correct answer. This math curriculum actually addresses the fact that there is more than 1 way to get there.
Furthermore, both of my children have been doing the new math program since they started school. To be honest, I didn't even notice that they were, I just remember thinking that I liked how hands-on they were with learning it. I assumed it was just their teachers finding a great way that works. Both of my boys that are in school do extremely well in math. They do these kinds of activities at home as well, and I can see how beneficial it is to them. When they, on occasion, don't get the correct answer the first time they DO self-correct and end up finding the right one in their own way. They are learning math skills that are actually applicable to the real world. Bottom line here is that I learned every single math skill that I still use in real life while I was in elementary school. I grant you that I'm not an engineer or anything like that, but I firmly believe that teaching math that is applicable to the real world is beneficial. If people are THAT adamant that their child memorize the multiplication table, then work on it at home for 15 minutes after homework or something. Be proactive in your child's education. Don't feed me lines about being a working parent. I was raised by a single working mother who still made sure to make time to help her kids with any and all school projects or homework they had. It IS possible to be a working parent and still be active in your child's education.
So there you have it. With all of the crap going around dissing on the 'new' math program, here was my side of the argument. For the record, I have read up on the new curriculum and how the teaching works before I wrote this. But this is Alberta. Even when we hate something, we're still unwilling to change it because it would appear that we hate changing it up even more. Don't get me wrong, I love living in Alberta and it would take a miracle to make me leave. But as a province we tend to be extremely resistant to change...That's just 1 mother's opinion, though.
Monday, February 24, 2014
So Many Blessings
Last week was kind of a huge week for me in a lot of ways. I received a lot of tender mercies from the Lord. John was home with me every day except for Thursday. Instead, my dad was with me that day to take care of my kids for me. My dad also stayed with the kids both times John and I had to go to the ER. At the beginning of the week I had no clue what was even wrong with me. I was in so much pain and had no clue how I'd injured myself. It turns out, I didn't. Thanks to someone leaving a comment on my blog, I realized that I actually had an abscess. I went in to the ER days sooner than I would have if it hadn't been suggested to me. I had amazing people helping me while I was in the ER. On Thursday evening, as our bishop sat in our living room for a visit, he was inspired then and there to give me a new calling. I will be honest, I cried tears of happiness and relief. Within a minute of him extended the calling to me, I physically felt myself coming back to life. It was that pronounced. John saw it in me too. I got the opportunity to watch almost all of the 4 gold medal games I'd wanted to watch (I missed the last few ends of men's curling when I was back in the ER on Friday for my follow up). I also got to watch the amazing hockey game when our Canadian boys beat the US on Friday with one of my friends. On Friday I was very nervous about them taking the packing out of my wound and if they'd need to repack it. I had heard it can all be extremely painful. I was so grateful that I only had a moment of pain while the packing was taken out and was grateful again when the doctor told me it was small enough and healing well enough that it didn't need to be packed again. What a huge blessing! And yesterday I started the day with Caleb. We woke up at 4:30 am to watch the men's hockey team win gold. What an amazing memory it is for me to have shared that with him. I will remember it for years to come. And then in the afternoon, during ward conference, I was sustained as the Mia Maids adviser. I had all of those girls in activity days as well as when I was serving over Beehives. I have served one of the girls in Mia Maids in 6 different callings in the (not quite) 8 years I've been in this ward. I am so grateful for all of the good things that happened to me during the past week, and also that I was willing to see and focus on them rather than just the negative things that were occurring. My testimony grew leaps and bounds during the week. I truly am blessed!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Huge Thank You!
I'd like to send a huge thank you to the person who made an anonymous comment on my last post. I looked into what you suggested, and you were exactly right. I went in to the ER yesterday morning, they confirmed it and sedated me to drain the abscess. I have been pretty drugged up for the past 36 hours and been in a fair bit of pain, but I'm starting to feel a LOT better. I am so grateful for that anonymous comment, it probably saved me days more of being in really bad pain.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
How Did That Even Happen?
Somehow last week I managed to bruise my tailbone. I have NO idea how it happened. I don't do any kind of sport, I didn't fall. Absolutely nothing sticks out to me about what could have caused it. At any rate, I've been in a lot of really bad pain most of the time. It hurts the least when I'm laying on my stomach, but even then it's still not totally gone. I have found 2 things so far that have made a dent in the pain. The first is Tiger Balm. I can't say enough good things about that stuff. It's the only thing that helps with my upper back pain and it's the only pain reliever I've tried that's even made a dent in the pain in my tailbone. John also went out and got me a seat cushion this morning with a U cut out of the back so that my tailbone isn't sitting on anything when I'm sitting down. Apparently a bruised tailbone takes 4 weeks to recover from. Here's hoping for a quick 4 weeks...
Friday, February 7, 2014
Thoughts and Reflections
I realized this morning that over the past 12.5 months, I've actually become a lot more private of a person. Hardly anyone knows about the bigger things that have gone on in my life. I'm okay with that, some of it just doesn't belong out there. I wasn't even going to blog about the whole cancer thing, but then I realized that since I really suck at journalling, I should at least have some record of this somewhere. At any rate, here are 10 things that have happened in the past year that I'm willing to share:
1 - I was released from the Young Women presidency in our ward in a VERY VERY VERY emotional meeting with the bishopric member. Apparently they drew straws over who had to be the one to tell me. I still miss it a lot. But I am enjoying the calling I'm currently in.
2 - After spending years growing my hair out and getting it back to it's natural colour as well, I chopped it off super short. I enjoyed it being short, but have now started the process of growing it out again.
3 - Caleb lost his first tooth. He was over the moon about it and has lost a few more since then. In our house, we buy the kids a milkshake when they lose a tooth, which he loves.
4 - We found out that Brettley is allergic to something in creamy salad dressings. Since then, I have made a LOT of homemade Caesar salad dressing.
5 - I burnt my arm really badly while making Rice Krispies squares. I have a permanent scar from it. I have not made any squares since then.
6 - Caleb had his first piano recital. He did well and looked so dapper in his suit.
7 - We finally got a brand new couch and love seat. I think my mum fell out of her chair when I told her they were brown. (She is HUGE on decorating in brown, and I kind of hate it, but I'm really warming up to certain shades of brown).
8 - Brettley had his second strabismus operation. His eyes are a lot better, but not 100%. I'm trying not to make him do another surgery, since he never fully recovered from the second one.
9 - Ty started Kindergarten and my mornings got a LOT more quiet. His favourite thing to do at school is the house centre.
10 - I finally got a laptop. I got inheritance money from my grandparents and while most of it went to paying off debts, I got to buy one really frivolous thing, so I got a laptop and a wireless trackball mouse. I love em!
1 - I was released from the Young Women presidency in our ward in a VERY VERY VERY emotional meeting with the bishopric member. Apparently they drew straws over who had to be the one to tell me. I still miss it a lot. But I am enjoying the calling I'm currently in.
2 - After spending years growing my hair out and getting it back to it's natural colour as well, I chopped it off super short. I enjoyed it being short, but have now started the process of growing it out again.
3 - Caleb lost his first tooth. He was over the moon about it and has lost a few more since then. In our house, we buy the kids a milkshake when they lose a tooth, which he loves.
4 - We found out that Brettley is allergic to something in creamy salad dressings. Since then, I have made a LOT of homemade Caesar salad dressing.
5 - I burnt my arm really badly while making Rice Krispies squares. I have a permanent scar from it. I have not made any squares since then.
6 - Caleb had his first piano recital. He did well and looked so dapper in his suit.
7 - We finally got a brand new couch and love seat. I think my mum fell out of her chair when I told her they were brown. (She is HUGE on decorating in brown, and I kind of hate it, but I'm really warming up to certain shades of brown).
8 - Brettley had his second strabismus operation. His eyes are a lot better, but not 100%. I'm trying not to make him do another surgery, since he never fully recovered from the second one.
9 - Ty started Kindergarten and my mornings got a LOT more quiet. His favourite thing to do at school is the house centre.
10 - I finally got a laptop. I got inheritance money from my grandparents and while most of it went to paying off debts, I got to buy one really frivolous thing, so I got a laptop and a wireless trackball mouse. I love em!
Friday, January 31, 2014
My Mum
Can I just say... My mum is a rock star. She is Wonder Woman. She is amazing! I think I was still in shock a bit in my last post when I talked about finding out she'd had cancer. I couldn't get across at the time how it worked in to everything else, but I'd like to do that now. In May 2012 my mum's mom went into a home due to her Alzheimer's and dementia. She wasn't herself anymore and continued to lose who she was from there on. Mum went as often as she could to visit with my grandma and was always thinking of new things she could do to make my grandma as comfortable as possible. Mum is one of the most compassionate and selfless people on the planet. That's just how she is. My mum started getting sick a lot more last year and while doing some tests in her throat area, they found something. She found out that they'd had suspicious results a couple of days before she was called to stay by her mom's side during the last few days of her life. While Mum was struggling with what these results meant for her, she doted upon my grandma and helped her dad and 4 brothers through the whole process. She took care of Grandma until her very last breath, doing everything she could to make Grandma's last days as comfortable and happy as possible. Grandma's battle was finally over, and Mum said goodbye to her mother while taking care of her dad through the process. Not even 6 weeks later Mum found out that there was indeed a mass that was probably cancer. Within days she received word that her dad had passed away. There was family drama going on left and right (horrible drama that I will never recount on here), and Mum had to come to terms with the whole cancer thing at the same time that she was essentially burying both of her parents (we buried both of their urns at the same time). She entered the Christmas season getting more and more sick every day. She had to decide whether or not to tell my brother and I about the results. The decision was to not tell us until after the surgery for very good personal reasons. So while her health was deteriorating and she was mourning her parents, my mum had only her husband for support while preparing for surgery. May I add, she continued working full time through all of this. Weeks before her surgery, at a time when she was always exhausted, barely making it through the days, she was making meals for her friend who lost her daughter at a very young age.
2013 was not kind to my mum. But she pulled through, while still doing everything that she could to continue to help others around her. My mum is one of the most inspirational people that I know of. I am so amazed by how she dealt with everything. She is truly an example of a compassionate, selfless and patient woman. I can only hope that I end up becoming half the woman that she is. I am truly blessed to call her my mum.
2013 was not kind to my mum. But she pulled through, while still doing everything that she could to continue to help others around her. My mum is one of the most inspirational people that I know of. I am so amazed by how she dealt with everything. She is truly an example of a compassionate, selfless and patient woman. I can only hope that I end up becoming half the woman that she is. I am truly blessed to call her my mum.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
January Thus Far
I've been sick this month. Like 'knocked flat on my back, ended up really dehydrated and all' kind of sick. Caleb has been sick this month and ended up needing antibiotics that smell horrible and according to him taste just as bad (he's allergic to amoxicillin and so they usually give him a grainy antibiotic called Biaxin that is apparently now super minty). Ty has been sick this month and is currently home from school for the second day in a row. Brettley has been sick this month and coughed so hard this morning that he threw up. With all of that said.......
2014 is STILL already so much better than 2013, ha ha. Maybe it's just my state of mind forcing it to be, but either way it doesn't matter. I'm so much happier these past few weeks.
Had a big shocker of a day last Saturday. Earlier this month my mum had her thyroid removed, so we'd been texting a lot since she was really bored during the day, but couldn't really talk. On Saturday I decided to give her a call and see if she was up to talking yet since it had been almost 2 weeks since her surgery. I found out during the phone call that the reason she'd had her thyroid removed was because she had thyroid cancer. Um, say what?!? Anyway, she has a clean bill of health now, they got it all and next month she gets to do her radioactive iodine treatment and spend 2 days in isolation. John and I are trying to think of which superpower she should try to get while she's radioactive. Anyway, you'd think that after my FIL passing away from pancreatic cancer almost 2 years ago now that I would have learned that parents aren't invincible, but apparently I still felt like my mom was. I cried and cried. Later in the afternoon that day I got the news that my dad heard back about a procedure he'd had done in the fall and because of the results (precancerous masses removed), I now have to start going for routine cancer screening. BLAH! I keep thinking in my head that I'm way too young for this (29), but right now I'm just massively grateful that, at least for right now, both of my parents are okay.
On to more fun news...I have started losing weight again. We waited until I was stable enough to do it, and so far I have lost 4.6 lbs, which I'm super excited about. I was kind of worried at first since I am losing weight so fast at the moment, so I talked to John about it. He reminded me that I'm not skipping meals (I'm actually eating 3 meals and at least 2 snacks per day), so I'm certainly not starving myself. It's just that I'm eating smarter and not having huge fatty snacks several times per week anymore. Then we realized I'm probably losing it so fast right now because at the same time as I started counting calories I also went from drinking pretty much no water and several Coke Zeros per day to drinking at least 2 litres of water and rarely even having 1 Coke Zero in a day. It was a huge change that I was really nervous about making (I'm not the hugest fan of unflavoured beverages), but it's working great for me. I keep a jug of water in the fridge to fill my water bottle with so that I have super cold water to drink. The hardest part was the caffeine withdrawl, but drinking so much water is making it a lot easier on me this time.
So that's kind of been our month so far. I'm just mostly taking it easy and trying to keep up with this crazy weather that can't decide whether it's winter or spring in January. Next week I'm cutting out white grains and red meats from my regular diet for health reasons, and I'm actually really looking forward to next week's meal plan :)
2014 is STILL already so much better than 2013, ha ha. Maybe it's just my state of mind forcing it to be, but either way it doesn't matter. I'm so much happier these past few weeks.
Had a big shocker of a day last Saturday. Earlier this month my mum had her thyroid removed, so we'd been texting a lot since she was really bored during the day, but couldn't really talk. On Saturday I decided to give her a call and see if she was up to talking yet since it had been almost 2 weeks since her surgery. I found out during the phone call that the reason she'd had her thyroid removed was because she had thyroid cancer. Um, say what?!? Anyway, she has a clean bill of health now, they got it all and next month she gets to do her radioactive iodine treatment and spend 2 days in isolation. John and I are trying to think of which superpower she should try to get while she's radioactive. Anyway, you'd think that after my FIL passing away from pancreatic cancer almost 2 years ago now that I would have learned that parents aren't invincible, but apparently I still felt like my mom was. I cried and cried. Later in the afternoon that day I got the news that my dad heard back about a procedure he'd had done in the fall and because of the results (precancerous masses removed), I now have to start going for routine cancer screening. BLAH! I keep thinking in my head that I'm way too young for this (29), but right now I'm just massively grateful that, at least for right now, both of my parents are okay.
On to more fun news...I have started losing weight again. We waited until I was stable enough to do it, and so far I have lost 4.6 lbs, which I'm super excited about. I was kind of worried at first since I am losing weight so fast at the moment, so I talked to John about it. He reminded me that I'm not skipping meals (I'm actually eating 3 meals and at least 2 snacks per day), so I'm certainly not starving myself. It's just that I'm eating smarter and not having huge fatty snacks several times per week anymore. Then we realized I'm probably losing it so fast right now because at the same time as I started counting calories I also went from drinking pretty much no water and several Coke Zeros per day to drinking at least 2 litres of water and rarely even having 1 Coke Zero in a day. It was a huge change that I was really nervous about making (I'm not the hugest fan of unflavoured beverages), but it's working great for me. I keep a jug of water in the fridge to fill my water bottle with so that I have super cold water to drink. The hardest part was the caffeine withdrawl, but drinking so much water is making it a lot easier on me this time.
So that's kind of been our month so far. I'm just mostly taking it easy and trying to keep up with this crazy weather that can't decide whether it's winter or spring in January. Next week I'm cutting out white grains and red meats from my regular diet for health reasons, and I'm actually really looking forward to next week's meal plan :)
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014
It's a new year! I am so incredibly relieved to be able to say that. Without going into a lot of detail, 2013 was arguably THE most difficult year of my life. Even the last day of the year was filled with trials (although one of those resulted in me getting a brand new fridge yesterday which I didn't have to pay for, so that was a nice perk).
But, today is a new day and today is a new year, HUZZAH! This year will bring a visit to my Uncle & Aunt's house for spring break, my brother's convocation at the UofL (which I get to travel without kids for), a trip to Magrath for the first time since late winter 2012, Caleb's baptism and me turning 30 (eep!). It's a fresh start and I am excited to see what it will bring to our home. Happy New Year!
I wanted to have a focus theme type thing for this year. Something to sum up what I'd like to get out of the year. I ended up going with 'Go Back to the Basics' and always keeping my 5-5-5-5 rule in mind. For the 'Go Back to the Basics', I want to do as much as I can to keep our lives simplified and to just focus on doing the basic things that we need to be doing (saying our prayers, reading our scriptures, etc) rather than focusing on a bunch of other things that aren't quite as necessary. As for my 5-5-5-5 rule, I'm trying to remember to ask myself if what I'm stressing about will matter 5 days from now...5 weeks from now...5 months from now...5 years from now. I am a very high stress person, and I think if I try to put more perspective into things in the moment that it might make things a bit less stressful for me. So those are my focuses for the year, and I'm very excited for both of them.
But, today is a new day and today is a new year, HUZZAH! This year will bring a visit to my Uncle & Aunt's house for spring break, my brother's convocation at the UofL (which I get to travel without kids for), a trip to Magrath for the first time since late winter 2012, Caleb's baptism and me turning 30 (eep!). It's a fresh start and I am excited to see what it will bring to our home. Happy New Year!
I wanted to have a focus theme type thing for this year. Something to sum up what I'd like to get out of the year. I ended up going with 'Go Back to the Basics' and always keeping my 5-5-5-5 rule in mind. For the 'Go Back to the Basics', I want to do as much as I can to keep our lives simplified and to just focus on doing the basic things that we need to be doing (saying our prayers, reading our scriptures, etc) rather than focusing on a bunch of other things that aren't quite as necessary. As for my 5-5-5-5 rule, I'm trying to remember to ask myself if what I'm stressing about will matter 5 days from now...5 weeks from now...5 months from now...5 years from now. I am a very high stress person, and I think if I try to put more perspective into things in the moment that it might make things a bit less stressful for me. So those are my focuses for the year, and I'm very excited for both of them.
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