A friend of mine dropped by just now. Remember the entry on a
friend who's just given birth? I really pity her because there are species of men who considered wives as servants - the ones who are supposed to do all house chores, the ones who should take care of kids, semualah kiranya.
I told her that wives are not to be treated like servants. In fact, according to Rasulullah pbuh, for those who are able, should provide a helper for the wives, not the other way round. That friend of mine told me that all expenses for her baby solely depending on her. Husband berkira nak beli barang untuk anak sendiri. Hm. It happens everywhere dear. A very common scenario. Owh, I forgot to mention, her husband is an M&E. Imagine gaji ribu riban nak beli baju anak yang membesar pun kedekut. Anak dah umur 2 bulan lebih takkan still nak pakai baju newborn?? Isteri pulak kerja kontrak je. Lagi kesian. Terpaksa keluarkan duit simpanan untuk beli baju anak.
Husband balik rumah, makan, tidur. Anak nangis malam-malam jaga, he's still sleeping and he even scolded the wife for waking him up. In fact bila ada football match pagi-pagi buta eh boleh pulakkkkk bangun tengok tv.
Lucky I'm not married to that kind of man (although nobody's prefect). Kalau tak, mau menaga siang malam pagi petang kerjanya. Stress dapat suami yang tau suruh isteri buat itu ini - very inconsiderate of him because the wife was still in confinement period. Nasib baik tak meroyan. Dahlah jauh dari family. Baru je jadi ibu. Yang baiknya kawan saya ni jenis marah pun diam, sedih nangis sorang-sorang. She kind of regretted she married the guy - but never regret of having the baby (which is a good sign). I'm in no position of giving her advise but I told her to pray to Allah that her husband would have a change of heart.
Punya lah memendam rasa dengan her husband sampai dia cakap dengan her MIL "Mak tengok je anak mak baik, saya ni duduk dengan dia mak. Semua saya buat. Dia tolong pun tidak". And as expected, the MIL just kept quiet. Wow sungguh berbeza dengan pendekatan saya ni. Saya tau menaga je hahah *sembur-sembur api dari mulut*
A reality check for me.
As for me, if you want your kids to be for you, you have to be here for them now, as they grow. And for husbands yang suka melepak dengan kawan-kawan kat kedai kopi.mamak je kerjanya, kawan-kawan bukannya kisah kalau anak kita makan ke tak. Anak sakit ke, bini susah hati tak makan lagi ke. Kadang-kadang kawan-kawan tu belum ada anak or not even married yet, so they don't know how it feels having a family to be taken care of.
Borak-borak la dengan wife, share about your daily life. Wife bukannya orang gaji or robot. Kalau semua nak harapkan wife, baik bela maid. Tak puas hati boleh marah-marah. Mesralah dengan anak, sebab kalau kita tak turut sama dalam masa anak membesar ni, it actually has psychological impact on them. Tak payah tengok jauh la, myself. My mom was super garang when I was small. So kecik-kecik siap mintak dengan Ayah suruh tukar dengan mak lain sebab MAK GARANG :P. Rupanya it turned out she was stressed up taking care of kids at home and no time for herself. So bila anak dah besar, she got back to work and her angst has lessened hehe.
Esok-esok jangan marah pulak bila anak-anak hantar pergi rumah orang tua.
Just my two cents.
