Feeling' Good

Huge relief to be feeling good again. I already feel better now than I did before the baby came. The pain from my incision is LESS than what that kid was causing me while in my tummy and it's so great to be able to move again.

Quinn is doing so wonderful. She is nursing perfectly and she sleeps between nursing so I'm getting at least some sleep which is all I can ask at this point.

Announcing...

Quinn Tamra Mackey

December 11, 2010 6:04 a.m.

8lb 6oz and 19 3/4"

Pictures

Anxiety

Getting closer and the anxiety is starting to hit me and all my previous operating room memories are flooding in. I think we have a better game plan this time for dealing with that but I can tell my body is reacting to the anxiety. I'm getting itching all over again to the point where I'm scratching and bruising myself (yeah, I'm a freak) and my blood pressure is going up too.

I'm going to take the last two weeks off of work before the baby comes so hopefully that will calm things down a little bit and I can just focus on my family and the holidays.

The pain seems to come and go still at this point. Last night was pretty bad but I loaded the dishwasher which I probably shouldn't have done (but I did anyway because it needed to be done, this is the battle I fight). I did manage grocery shopping with Jim but he made me sit in the stupid electric wheelchair. Thankfully I didn't see anyone I know. :)

I tried to cut some fabric for Quinn's baby blanket too so overall I know it was too much and I totally paid for it but at least I felt productive. Like I said it's a battle between my tolerance for pain and my emotional well being. The more time I spend in bed making my body happy, the more I feel anxious about needing to be up cleaning or sewing or taking care of the kids.

Jim really has been great and the ward has helped with a couple meals a week which has been a lifesaver but there's only so much Jim can do while also working. I can tell he's working hard at not being impatient with me though and I definitely appreciate it.

Upcoming things to look forward to:

Family pictures next Saturday, which probably will be just the girls because I'm not happy in front of a camera at the moment for obvious reasons.

Thanksgiving lunch with Ainsley's class next week.

Black Friday, which obviously I won't be able to partake in but my mom is going to try to snag some things I want/need, like a new computer monitor! So tired of the flickering while I work!

My darling niece Jenna's birthday party Saturday. Thankfully it's at their house and they don't mind me lying down in the middle of it, haha.

Ainsley lost another tooth a couple weeks ago and had an awesome report card.

Caelan has been a bit of a sickie lately but on the mend now. She started soccer and LOVES it.

ROLAIDS

Spells relief....but no, not from heartburn.



For almost a week now I have been pain free! (Well except for regular third trimester pregnancy aches). It has been absolutely heavenly. Who knew someone could be so happy to have the ability to do dishes again. I got out of the house today too. It was just to go to Verizon to get my phone replaced but it was still awesome.



Jim was in charge of the camera for Halloween and he epicly failed me on this one. I might have like three pictures, so hopefully I'll get those up later.

positive spin

Been avoiding blogging because once again, I'm a downer.

The positive side is that I'm healthy and so is the enormous baby Quinn but other than that it's kind of sucking. It looks like I'm headed back on bed rest to try to cope with the pain that so far no one can explain. Theory #1 was that it would pass within a week or so. 2 weeks later, the newest theory is that maybe the size of the baby is going to make it worse. All I know is that on good days I feel like I've been hit by a bus and on bad days I can hardly move without crying.

I'm tired and emotional. I'm not depressed per say but the inability to do ANYTHING is causing a certain amount of depression.

I'm trying to be grateful, I really am. I know that I'm blessed and I will be happy when all of this is over and she is here and healthy but for now I'm struggling.

I'm also having a really hard time accepting the help that I need. I think I reached my breaking point today though. If sucking it up, swallowing my pride and letting my friends be good friends means that I don't have to go to bed crying at night then I guess that's what I do.

Told ya, a downer.

Side note, baby is estimated 4 lb already. Yep, you read that right. 4 lb at 30 weeks. This could be my biggest baby yet.

What a week!

Mallory is married. Hanna came to visit and is already gone. I spent half the night in the hospital to have them tell me I overdid it and to lie down.

My girls are wonderful. My husband is wonderful.

I'm ready for this week off so I can lie in bed the ENTIRE time. So don't bug me. I'm not available for ANYTHING until next week.

But I love you all.

Ainsley

She lost another tooth, this is her 5th.

And....drumroll please......

She can ride her bike without training wheels! She probably could have done it sooner but she was too chicken to try :)

She taught herself even, just got on it and started riding. Go Ainsley!

Routine

Well school has started for Ainsley and preschool for Caelan. Piano started a week after that and Caelan's dance classes start this week.

Ainsley had a really bad asthma attack after PE yesterday so we took her back in and they've switched her from the machine to an inhaler including a rescue inhaler for school so hopefully that takes care of the problem because I don't want her to have to sit out.

Her reading is just amazing to me. I love that she loves to read. She reminds me of me when I was younger :). She has taken it on herself to read US bedtime stories instead of the other way around. Even KK lets her and thinks it's cool that big sister reads her stories instead of mom or dad.

Quinn is getting bigger and I'm still completely shocked at how much she moves at this size. I'm in BIG trouble when she gets bigger because she is relentless!

Jordie just had her 15th birthday but I haven't seen her since then because she had a party at her mom's house that weekend. Hopefully we'll get to give her her present this weekend.

Completely consumed with work, new schedules, baby bump and Mallory's wedding so things are definitely chaotic right now. I'm trying to let the girls do the things they want right now though because after Christmas we will have a massive slow down for a few months.

We decided that instead of having the baby in our room, we are going to enclose the loft upstairs and make another bedroom. With Jim taking the downstairs room for an office, it just seems like having another upstairs would make things a lot simpler. We use it for toy storage so I figure we'll just get creative and organized with the toys and make it all work out. Jorden will get to keep her own room and when the baby sleeps better we will move KK in there too and let Ains have her own room too.

Back to finishing work so I can go to bed and put my swollen feet up!

blah

I've thought about blogging many times but I'm a pretty bad, depressed funk right now and still trying to pull it together. I promise I will be back when I figure out how to not be a mess.

On a brighter note, I think I'm going to start a different blog for crafty stuff. Not that I think I'm totally talented or anything but I do make many attempts and I love the before and after pictures so I figured it would be something fun to do with them all.

Until the fog lifts....

So.....

When attempting an entire life makeover, what's the best game plan? I'm at a loss.

In Wisconsin with Hanna. Truman rocks. Pepper is beautiful. Sully is Sully (sorry dude, you know I love ya), Addie is reading like crazy and Guthrie is the most helpful big brother you could ask for.

I miss my kids....really really really miss my kids. So I will be glad to go home but sad to leave here too.

Caelanism

KK: Daddy, my teacher sent me a memail and said I need a computer with a mouse and a plug so you have to get me one for my birthday.

PINK

We have another girl on the way! Can you believe that I went to the mall (mostly because I desperately needed some maternity shorts) but with the mindset that I would buy the first little baby outfit for her and I walked away with NOTHING?!!!! It's like my whole mindset changed. Nothing was cute to me at all. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of sewing though.

If we get it booked soon, I should be headed to Wisconsin to see Penelope Jean and I'm so excited! I really didn't think I would have a chance to go until next year sometime but it looks like my mama is making it happen :)

The nausea is FINALLY better but it has been replaced by debilitating hunger. I didn't even think that was possible. I woke up at 3 this morning so hungry that I was actually in pain, I mean really?

With so many baby girls headed our way in the family right now I felt like I had to put our #1 pick for now for a baby name out there to make sure no one else was using it. They're not and I even got Jim to admit that it was a good Irish name after he did a little internet research of his own.

I didn't get a printout to share but her little profile instantly made me think she might look a little like Ainsley, definitely a good thing.

butterfly

Feeling the baby a little bit. Mostly early in the morning and at night when I lie down to go to bed.

I can't tolerate the bedroom being hot anymore so I'm trying to see if we can get another receiver in the girls room until the summer passes. I like watching movies while I lounge at night but my couch is not comfy at all so I've had to find other solutions.

Ainsley is on the road with grandma right now and spending some time in Wisconsin with her cousins. I'm jealous that she gets to be there when Pepper is born and I will miss it! I'm also missing her like crazy. I almost had a panic attack that first night, it just felt wrong!

The sick is finally gone I think! Right before I hit 15 weeks, so I guess it could have been worse. It is sooooo nice to not have my entire day planned around or ruined by food. I can eat or not eat when I feel like it and it's a huge relief. I had to rush out of the house yesterday and forgot breakfast and was worried I would sabotage myself but I did fine. I got a little tired but not sick, woo hoo!

Still waiting for more energy but I doubt that's going to get better while it's over 100 degrees outside.

Back to work

camping while pregnant? Why not?!

Hurt my back like you wouldn't believe, though honestly I think it has nothing to do with being pregnant and a lot to do with sleeping on the cold hard ground after my air mattress sprung a leak. It is feeling mildly better today but dang I'm a mess!

Still have prego nausea. French toast tasted yummy tonight though and my mom made me eat peanuts earlier which also helped.

Hopefully we can see the goods at the ultrasound next Friday! Anyone wanna venture a guess?

Ainsley is headed to Wisconsin with my mom on Thursday, gonna miss her like crazy! She's insanely excited to go though and ecstatic that she will likely be able to witness little Pepper being born. I've been letting her watch Baby Story lately and I'm glad she understands why she can't be there when this little one is born but that doesn't mean she isn't sad about it.

KK is a monster but I love her.

Night!

count your blessings??????????

Okay, I know that many, MANY other pregnant women have morning sickness way worse than I do but I'm just so fed up! The last few days have just been horrible. I broke down crying today because I just don't know how to handle it anymore. I hate food. I don't want to eat it. I don't want to look at it. I don't want to think about it. But if I ignore it I'm sick. If I eat the wrong thing, I am sick. I want to feel functional again!

Rant over, just really frustrated today I guess :(

I guess it serves me right for assuming this pregnancy would be like my other two and I would sail through the first tri without so much as an aversion.

I am still looking forward to camping though because maybe getting out of the heat will help.

2nd Trimester

I feel better but I still feel like poo several times a day and it's seriously frustrating. I know I'm a whiner and most people get WAY sicker than I have but still, this needs to go away!

It's freaking hot and we need a pool!!!!! I seriously wish we had one. I feel like it would make such a huge difference in how I view my summers. Maybe someday.

Got dance pictures today, aren't they cute?!

Blueberry

Measuring 2 days ahead at 12 weeks 5 days and was moving around a TON!

Too bad the little stinker was too small to take a peek between the legs :)

home sweet home

and so glad to be here! It's so hot I'm melting already and wondering why I don't have any maternity shorts yet but I'm still happy to be here. I managed to get my fabulous ugly DI chair home with me and I'm so happy. It's seriously awesome and in a few more weeks when we found out what flavor this baby is, I'll get it all refinished. I really love it!

I just got my camera back this week too so I'll work on getting pictures of all the fun things Beth and I made while we were there. Some projects are only half finished though so I need to get them hemmed up first.

Overall, it was really fun. If I didn't miss my husband and my bed so much I would have stayed longer and planned 20 more sewing projects, way more fun to sew with someone alongside ya.

I am sad I didn't get to see any of my friends though, so those of you that I missed I'm sorry. It was hard to go too many places because of having to work while I was there. I didn't even get to take my girls to Temple Square like I had hoped.

Next year we're thinking we'll go all out and spend the entire trip making the funnest halloween costumes EVER.

Now it's time to do laundry and start getting ready for camping at the family reunion!

Still having fun in Utah

Besides enjoying the weather and non-heat, we've just been hanging out. I still have to work (blech) but we've managed to sew up a storm too. We're at 8 dresses, 2 skirts, 5 pairs of pajama pants, a shopping cart cover and a cosleeper sheet.

Today we will add 6 more pairs of pajama pants for Girls Night In with all the little girls.

Then we still have 5 more dresses to sew, aaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

We've also been to the movies (can't beat Alice in Wonderland for $.75 at the theater), the festival in Orem (in the rain), a few trips to DI (totally rocks), Cafe Rio, Taco Time, Arctic Circle...all the necessities right?

I think the girls and I are about ready to go home though. We'll be leaving Saturday morning I think to be home in time for Father's Day.

Still waiting on my camera so I don't have any pictures yet but hopefully in a couple days I can change that.

HUNBABA Mei Tai Baby Carrier Guest Giveawayy

HUNBABA Mei Tai Baby Carrier Guest Giveawayy

Food

granola bars, iffy
anything fried, NO (really sad, had a yummy chimi and it hated me)
V8, good
diet pepsi, iffy
sonic diet coke, YES

boring ham sandwich with lettuce only, YES

authentic chinese dumplings, no (really sad, my sister in law makes the YUMMIEST)

I am craving Slim-Fast right now like you wouldn't believe.

Update

Fetus has a beating heart and measures 7 weeks today.

Due December 31

Romeo and Mae Sewing Patterns GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Romeo and Mae Sewing Patterns GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Funky Polkadot Giraffe $25 Gift Card GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Funky Polkadot Giraffe $25 Gift Card GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Happenings

We have a great Easter. We were not able to go to the Maricopa Easter egg hunt but Uncle Jonathan and Jason did a great job hiding eggs in Jonathan's back yard so the girls were more than satisfied.

Conference was yesterday. I got to watch most of it but still have a bit in DVR to catch up on. With the recent news of Dax's mission, I found myself finding a lot to chew on in regards to missionary work and him leaving is affecting me much more than you would think.

Dax is called to serve in the Germany Berlin mission and we're just in absolute shock. I have NEVER heard of a missionary actually getting called to where he really really really wanted to go. Dax is just reeling from it I'm sure. He started his checklist this morning and since my schedule is more flexible than my mom's, I'll get to help him with a lot of it.

Jim's birthday was Saturday and I think he got a little bit spoiled.

KK's birthday is next week and I STILL have not planned any kind of party, even if it is going to be a small one. I should probably get on that one of these days.

I cut back on my work load a little bit and I think it's helping. I'm trying to be more accessible to my girls because I know it's hard on them to have mommy always stuck with her earphones in her ears.

Overall things are going well. Summer is definitely almost here and I'm already miserable. I sometimes think I'm not cut out for Arizona. I think someday when Jorden's older we may consider moving again. Just not all the way across the country this time.

The Cuppycake Boutique Bubble Dress GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

The Cuppycake Boutique Bubble Dress GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Leila and Ben Patterns GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Leila and Ben Patterns GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

The zoo is a happy place

It seems like I don't have much going on except work and sewing. I'll start putting all my finished projects up here soon enough. I've done some pretty awesome stuff lately (and my mom too!).

Jorden is on spring break this week so I'm thinking we'll do her room. I've had the fabric for almost a year so I figured it's about stinkin' time.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned it but I've working almost full time now (except when Hanna helps me) so I'm still having a hard time balancing it all. I *think* I'm getting better but some things are still suffering. Trying to remedy that slowly.

Got my hair done today and it's awesome. Cessa always does it right.

Dax is landscaping for me this week too so I'll get the before and afters up in a few weeks.

Life is a zoo

Ashleyism

So I own two pair of glasses. My newer ones with the good lenses got snapped in half (thank you Lillie!) and the other pair is a good frame but the lenses are from 8 years ago and don't help me at all. So the night before I was supposed to leave for NYC I was completely bugged because I wanted my glasses for Wicked because my contacts sometimes only last a few hours before they start bugging me and I didn't want my eyes bugging me in the middle of a Broadway musical.

So I pulled the lenses out of the broken frame and attempted to put them in the old frame with the bad lenses. They were just a tiny bit too small so I got some superglue and MADE them fit....it worked. And the lenses have a gap above and below them and they just look absolutely ridiculous...but it worked.

And I'm a huge dork.

isms

In the car today Caelan started singing to herself (she does this a lot).

Her first song went something like this

If you have to go potty
Then you better hold it in
Then tell your mom and dad
What you have to do

Her second song

The prince saves the princess
Save save me, I don't have a sword
I can't find my sword because the king locked it in his castle

Ainsley told me the other day "Jesus is a boy but we have to like him anyway"

And we discovered the perfect way to improve your child's reading. Give her a microphone and make her play Rock Band.

Random pictures

Hiatus

So in November I called it quits on a lot of things. I quit taking my kids to ballet, I gave up a calling, I stopped going to the park with my friends, I stayed home and I worked and I spent time with my sister because she was getting ready to move again.

So with the holidays over I'm now working full time instead of part time and it's been hard. I'm hoping that the bigger paycheck will prove it completely worth it though so we'll see.

But with the added hours I feel that my house has suffered and my sleep has suffered. I'm not very good at managing my time or managing my life for that matter but I'm trying harder.

Ainsley wanted to go back to ballet but to be perfectly honest, the thought of adding something back INTO life has me a wee bit stressed. Plus with Hanna gone I feel like I need to stop neglecting my friends because I need my friends.

Nothing has really changed with the girls. Caelan loves preschool and Ainsley loves 1st grade and amazes me at how stinking smart she is.

Caelanism: "I am a child of God and he has sent me here, but not you daddy."

She's also obsessed with weddings and asks me daily who she can marry.

Ainsley's still a love bug and is just the sweetest thing ever. She is completely enthralled with animals, stuffed or real, it doesn't matter.

I'll try to get some pictures up later.