Grapefruit Friends

I've been avoiding calling my family. It's because I miss them so much. I know what you're thinking - this makes no sense. But, I want them to think I'm doing just fine and not worry about me, and if I call them and cry because I miss them so much... that hurts the "I'm fine"-ness.
I already wrote about my lil brudder earlier and in honor of Father's Day, I want to write about my dad. I haven't told him a lot how much he means to me cause we've always been around each other and it didn't seem that... necessary, I guess. But, now it's necessary.
My dad is from Idaho. He will always be a cowboy. I love that my dad wears a cowboy hat and boots every day. He has always reminded me of John Wayne. Because he's from the country, he is not afraid of working hard. Actually, it bothers him if he isn't working hard. He makes the most of what he has. And he likes to drink milk - even at a fancy restaurant.

When I was little, I pretended to like grapefruit so we could share one for breakfast. He'd get it all ready and I'd put a lot of sugar on it and eat it. I liked being his special grapefruit friend. Hahaha. We also used to mix grape juice and lemonade together - I still love that to drink. I found some cranberry blackberry juice at the store here and was so sad I couldn't share it with him.
I married a guy just like him, too. They both need the light switches to match up and to get every little bit of cereal out of the bowl. The markers for our fridge marker board are lined up impeccably and I saw them today and missed my dad. He and John used to talk and talk. They have so much in common. My dad was in the Army, as well. He went to Korea during the Vietnam War. So, they swap stories and laugh or get very solemn depending on the experience.
Actually, I'm just like my dad, too. It's why we clashed a bit when I was a teenager. We're so alike that we can interfere with the other.
I don't know when I stopped seeing him as a dad and started seeing him as a person. But I feel so protective of him now. He seems like a tough cowboy - and he is - but he also has a very sensitive side that I want to make sure is never hurt. When my sister and my horse (she owned the front end, I owned the back end... comes of being born later), A Royal Whisper, passed away, it was so hard for him to tell us. He was so worried about telling Melinda and how sad she would be. The one sure-fire thing on this earth that will make me cry every time is seeing my dad cry. Even thinking about it, honestly.
I love that he listens to yodeling. =D I like music with yodeling now because of it. I've got the Rolling Stone of Texas on my ipod. xD When we were little, Brandon and I would sing Oh, Pretty Woman with my dad, too. Brandon got so good at that growl-thing that Roy Orbison does. And we'd watch westerns all the time.
My dad has a gift with animals. He had a pet bull as a kid that he'd sit with and lean against. And his first horse was named Prince and he was my dad's best friend for a time. And my dad's horse that passed away a few years ago - Rhythm & Blues - he loved my dad so much. They'd go galloping in the mountains together so excited. And Whisper would follow them wanting to go home and Cobra would try to beat them and then scurry back behind RB cause he didn't like to be in front. (And cause he's afraid of cows. Brandon helps him to be brave, though. Hahaha.)
I wish I had the picture of him holding me as a baby to post on here. He looks really happy. He's holding me like I'm a precious, delicate little bundle. It's my favorite picture of us. (Though, the one of us winning the Twist competition at my Youth Conference is 2nd. :D )

I'm really homesick. And I wish I could just go to my parents house, unlock the back door (cause they are cautious folk xD ), go inside and have spaghetti together and then watch Murder, She Wrote. I only left so that we could take care of ourselves a little better. But, we'll be back to visit soon. And we'll have some yodeling and fun. =D

Wisp Has Been Brought To You By...

I've been thinking about my childhood more lately. Remembering the different people that shaped who I am. Obviously, my family had a big impact. =) But, there were also others. Like Mr. Rogers. =D Fred Rogers affected me a lot - I believed he could actually see me. lol It really felt like it to a 5-year-old. And when he would sing "It's You I Like" it made me feel so special. I related to Daniel the Tiger a lot, because I was always painfully shy. Also, Lavar Burton was another role model for me. Reading Rainbow reinforced a love of reading in me that seemed to always be there. I remember my mom teaching me to read my Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs book in my room, helping me to sound words out. I could read before kindergarten and the library at Cherry Hill Elementary was my favorite place at school. I learned from the Bernstain Bears, Nancy Drew, and other books. My favorite childhood book was No Flying In The House. It's about a little girl with a tiny tiny dog who finds out that she is a fairy. It was always checked out of the library at school. In all the time I was there, I only got the chance to check it out once. :)

I also was affected by Bob Ross. I mean, he's this gentle-voiced man with a fro and a pet squirrel sitting on his shoulder. How could a child not be drawn in? I would watch him make happy trees and happy clouds and it looked so easy. However, when I tried to paint, I got angry trees and miffed clouds that looked awful. My mom and my grandma are both amazing painters. I missed the art gene a bit... I got creativity, just not art so much. My sister, Maren, is amazing in the same way. She can make anything beautiful and she does. :) Maybe I'll write a story and make my happy trees that way. XD

I also diligently watched Today's Special. I knew all of the songs and plots. It was about a department store with a manikin that can come to life if you but a special hat on his head and said, "Hocus Pocus Alamagocus." Hahaha. And he and the security guard and the night display worker and a mouse that lived there would sing all night. It sounds a little weird now, but it seemed perfectly plausible to me as a child. Oh, and the security guard (Sam) had a fluffy gorgeous cat named Penelope and I still wish I could bury my face in that fur and cuddle Penelope til the cows come home. (Btw, Sam also had a smart computer: the TXL talking computer.) They just don't make shows that weird and cool anymore. Purple dinosaurs came along with their idiocy and ruined the legendary ways.

There was also a Christmas special called Santa Bear about a polar bear cub that gets separated from his family and ends up helping a little girl and her sick grandfather before being taken home by Santa Clause. And there was also the Ugly Duckling cartoon Disney made... which made my sensitive self cry every time I watched it. I felt so bad for the little signet all alone and not fitting in. I felt like that a lot at school and church as a child. But then his family finds him and loves him. :)

And then there are John Wayne, Elvis, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Cary Grant, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Audrey Hepburn... all the greats from the old movies I'd watch growing up. ...It's actually little wonder I'm as weird as I am. Hahaha. You don't grow up watching Some Like It Hot to be normal. lol "If they catch us there's going to be blood everywhere - Type O!" XD

Foggy Bloggy

Life keeps going, eh? Not a lot has been happening for us lately. Thunder storms have been prevalent and Miles huddled into a shivering ball on one of our laps or under the bed while the menacing thunder is booming overhead. I think I'm still adjusting to the higher strength anxiety medication, cause the days have felt a little foggy for me. But, we've been adjusting the dosage of the stomach meds and have figured out a pretty good system, so I have been less sick. Now, to get my sleep schedule back to normal again. I would be so sick all night and then it would get light and I would fall asleep on the couch and wake up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon... which turned into 4 or 5... So, I'm sure that contributes to my daily haziness. The sleeping pills I have work too well - I can take them at 11 or 12 and still wake up at 3 the next day. lol So, we might try something else. Medications seem a little strong for me; my body is very sensitive. I credit my genes for this. I tried to blame my parents but it didn't work. XD My grandmother on my mother's side is also very sensitive, so I think I inherited a lot of her genetic code or something. But, things are getting better.
We are thinking of getting a second kitty sometime soon. I know that Miles will hate our guts and hate it for at least 3 weeks or longer. He'll stay under the bed and hiss and be thoroughly miserable. But, I'm hoping that he would warm up to the other kitty and that they could play together. Also, it's a comforting idea to think of me here with 2 little kitties while John is gone for 12-18 months next year. Last time, taking care of Miles was a nice distraction for me. And I also think Miles would resent a baby less when the time comes if he had another kitty friend. *crosses fingers*
Speaking of Miles, while cleaning his litter box, we found an entire ponytail holder attached to some of his... you know. He'd been out of sorts for a few days and now we know why! Poor boy! I'm glad it didn't kill him. So, now we'll need to wait until he's napping heavily and raid his toys for the thinner ponytail holders. I'll leave the thicker ones there for him, though. He loves his ponytail holder collection so much. He stole each of them from me - sometimes right off my head *muttermutter* - over time and it was always a happy surprise for him to find a new one. This has never happened before, so I'm sure it was an accidental swallowing... but we don't want to take a chance that our boy will get sick. I'll get him a new feathery toy to distract him from the missing hairbands... :S
We're hoping to make that beach trip soon. We're also planning a trip to Charlotte soon. The Penguin diner is there - the one Guy Fieri visited on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives (a favey show of ours) and they serve fried pickles. My love for pickles demands that I have them fried, thus, to Charlotte we will go. lol There's also a cool fish taco place there and an awesome home-cooking type diner that has chicken and dumplings and such. I've found that I like southern food - I mean, look how I have gravitated to grits! Now I can't make it a week without them. I'm pretty sure my dad would like them, as well. But, the lack of humidity in Utah just messes them up when you make grits there. The people at waffle house know us well. And John has been labeled the toast and grits guy cause he goes in to pick some up and bring home to me frequently. Especially when I was sick so much. Toast and grits are very comforting. So, now John is T&G and getting used to it. lol
We're just enjoying the day to day while I wait for the fog to lighten up eventually. It can take several weeks, I've heard. I'll be seeing my wonderful doctor this week, though, so we'll see if we can figure things out. I've also been trying to get my therapist hooked on my blog so hopefully that works soon. XD Just kidding. Maybe I'll tell my doctor about it too. lol Why not? After all, my doc and therapist are my first friends so far. Though I don't think we'll be hanging out at the mall or anything. *slaps knee with giggling fit*
Well, I'll update again soon. All y'all keep being awesome. And thank you so much for the comments. They mean a lot to me. A bit isolated and foggy, a comment is like an Easter Egg full of money. :D