It's World Class!

A weird thought popped up last evening while I was doing something entirely different. Now, let us suppose that this whole world is a classroom and all the countries or continents are students. This is what I think they all are likely to be.

USA- The super rich ones who commute to college in their own expensive vehicles, are obese from overeating junk and nonstop partying and do not acknowledge anyone else in the class. Not very good in studies because they are busy with all sorts of relationship troubles so they have tutors who help them mug up everything. Usually, they have dysfunctional families or their parents are uber cool too, just like them.

Jesus, I need coke and a burger, a Limo and of course a shrink!

Canada- These are upper middle and very friendly. They accept everyone’s friendship, invite everyone to their parties and apologize for mistakes made in the past.

Satsriakal world! Please come in!

UK- Are shrewd and give much attention to detail but are also reserved and discriminating for they focus only on their own target. Have a tough time mixing well with others for they consider the rest of the class to be a petri dish of germs. They usually wear formal or semi formal clothes of more or less the same dull colors to college. They also take up any seat they fancy and refuse to budge.

We really apologize and request you to pardon our impertinence and not consider it offensive so to speak but have we been introduced yet by any chance?

China- These are the shrewdest of all. These students are tech experts and excel in math and computers. They are also very secretive about their motives and are always smiling to keep you confused. They have voracious appetites and can eat anything when they are hungry.

I know what you did last summer!

Africa- These have arrived to college from rural areas and their forefathers were poor, exploited and worked very hard. They are honest, rugged and have certain rawness in them. They have a fire to move ahead in life.

World is a jungle, be a lion not a wildebeest

France- These are the most stylish of the lot. They have rich but busy parents. These students often suffer from depression or anxiety issues. They have a great taste in food and wear awesome perfumes to college but dislike mixing too much and can be painfully curt at times. Also, they eat only well presented food with complicated names and secretly love it when people pronounce those wrong!

Mercy, monsieur but you look stupid in the dress you copied from us

Italy- These are the ones who keep the whole class entertained. Boys flirt usually and girls giggle for no reason. They are not very serious about their future. Also, they come from old reputed families and love to narrate the stories of their very powerful forefathers that no one is interested in anymore yet they can’t stop.

Wanna go for a pizza date? We will have some pasta too!

Russia- These are those tough guys who occupy the back benches. They are laconic, sturdy and are formidable foes but do not disturb anyone purposelessly. Some people accuse them of selling drugs but no one has courage to ask them directly. They are great chess players and their silent gaze can be terrifying.

No reason to stay is a good reason to go

Saudi Arab- These students usually bribe teachers with all the fine things to buy good grades, are very businesslike and brutal. They come from very rich but closed and conservative patriarchal business backgrounds. They love to flaunt their cars and pets.

We will buy you

Germany- Toppers who are amazing in math and science. They are studious, hardworking and hate small talk. These have a dark sense of humor and to see them giggling is a rare sight. Also, these are great with machinery and can fix any issue in that area. They are extremely philosophical as well.

Kant you mind your own business?

Pakistan- These are the shabby ones whose body odor repels others, are rowdy, hypocrites and often end up embarrassing themselves. They often pass nasty comments on women and get insulted yet are unbothered by the humiliation. They always borrow stuff from other students but hardly ever return the items. These are the most hated students in the whole class.

Can you lend us some money??

Bhutan- These are helpful, always smiling and studious students who avoid fight at all costs. They often recite peace and brotherhood prayers yet do not mix much with others in the class. They love to sit alone in gardens and are happiest when left to themselves.

Eat, Love , Pray

India- These are the most talkative ones who love to mix up, invite others over lunch and offer lovely hospitality. These students are skilled in music and arts. Usually, there is much potential but they make silly mistakes because of wrong priorities and waste much of their time on fruitless activities. Most of their class projects are copied from other students. They love street food, movies and cricket and can be very emotionally volatile for they form attachments way too fast. They are the agony aunts of the class and love to dole out unwanted free advice.

Tell us about yourself, your parents, family, pets, neighbors and everything about others that you know!

Japan- These have everything, from stationery to notebooks in small sizes. They study a lot for long hours, never miss a single class hence are often sleep deprived.

We have a miniature version of that object you have but it can be seen only under a microscope

Antarctica- These are the most aloof ones, are unfriendly and often absent. Teachers visit their places to find out what’s wrong with them.

Who the hell are you?

 :)

Brains In The Drains

A benevolent elderly lady who lives near my house casually told me a thing that left me pondering about attitudes that can eat up our nation like termites. She told me that her daughter, an MBBS, MD, got married into a wealthy business family. However, things were not rosy for long; only after a few months, she was forbidden from practicing by her parents-in-law, who felt that household and kids should be the utmost priority of her life. She tried a lot to convince them but finally, they put their foot down and now she is a full time housewife and a devoted mother to her two college going children. Her medical degree not only got wasted but this has far reaching effects as well. A medical seat that she had occupied got wasted since as a doctor she is not contributing anything to her country that is always short of trained doctors. Also, a lot of taxpayers’ money goes into making one specialist doctor and non-practicing people from medical profession only add to the liability of the nation.

In yet another case, a lady I know personally is a trained mathematics teacher but was forced to quit her job after she had had her first kid and since then is a full time housewife. Despite repeated requests from her and her parents, her in-laws are still adamant about the issue. Maths is not a subject that many kids enjoy and that can boast of a good teacher pool in the country. In such a case loss of a trained teacher that too one who decided to take up the profession out of her love for teaching the subject is a big loss indeed.

There is no dearth of such reports, facts and figures; we all know that millions of students, especially girls, occupy college seats but provide nothing in return. There are a few things that I really wish to shed some light on. 

Firstly, Higher education that churns out specialists like doctors, architects and engineers etc. costs any nation a lot and it is literally a crime to waste the national wealth like this. If someone aspires to be a skilled professional, she/he should always keep in mind that giving services back to the society is the most important thing, the aim of higher education. Also, I personally feel that education liberates you from the banal and monotonous drudgery of life and elevates living and mental standards.

One of the girls I know is an MBA but left her job as soon as she got married. The reason she gives is really annoying: her husband will take care of all the expenses and she need not work. Another girl I know is a PG but stays at home all day and spends her precious time in day dreaming or chatting. She has her own reasons; she says that since her father is rich enough, a job is not required. Job or business, whatever you take, adds to personal growth as well. An independent and empowered woman can maintain and protect her self-esteem and can ‘choose’ to even walk out of an abusive or broken marriage, hence saving her life for better.

We can further add to the list, the people who acquire higher education in some special professional field and then switch over to an entirely different one like administration, entertainment and showbiz, politics or business, which has little use of that professional skill and in which they could have done well even without snatching and wasting one seat from some other deserving and needy aspirant.

We cry ourselves hoarse on ‘brain drain’ but what about those millions of brains that are doing nothing for the nation and are wasting their precious skills in other mundane things.

Images taken from:

http://www.rediff.com/news/report/code/20060509.htm

http://sitagita.com/todays-tips/Indian-House-Wife.html

26/11/2008: A BLACK DAY

Last year this date was written in black. Not just the people of Mumbai but the entire nation finds it difficult to forget the macabre incident that happened in the Taj hotel in Mumbai. But the question is what have we learnt from that? The Leopold cafe was reconstructed and opened soon after and the hotel started functioning as well. The crisis management team of the Tata group is amazingly strong but, what about the crisis management of the Indian government. We still have no preventive measures worth the name; no solid steps against terrorism, only loud noise.

It is shameful on the part of the government that in the very first place the terrorists could enter so easily with loads of arms and ammunitions inside the country. Secondly even a year after the terror attacks, nothing substantial has been done yet to prevent such incidents further. The much trumpeted anti-terrorism measures remain till date largely on paper only. The families of the slain policemen are living on pavements; this is indeed a big slap on the system’s face. After the operation, the commandoes were huddled off in local buses, how disgusting it is!

SRI HEMANT KARKARE (IPS) Joint Commissioner Of Police, Anti Terrorist Squad, Mumbai.

Thirdly, the role of media was rather destructive. To gain the TRPs the channels continuously showed the current details live which updated the terrorists and their mentors more than the public. If media had acted in a mature manner, fatalities would perhaps be much less. But we have a strong tendency of not learning anything from the past tragedies. Every time and everywhere we turn to our ‘chalta hai’ mode. Now a day the news channels are more in grabbing TRP than showing something useful. Dedication of prime time slots to Shilpa Shetty’s wedding appeared to them more important than the sufferings of the attack victims. Her mehandiwali’s interview held a priority over what the attack victims’ families cried for.

Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan

NSG Commando

The CM of Kerala openly insulted the slain Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan’s parents in their own house. The families of other slain heroes are still awaiting action by the sleepy and indifferent government machinery on the promises doled out to them. Shame on such a system! And I think because of such a treatment to our forces, youngsters are thinking twice before joining defense services, and that’s again a big slap on the government’s face.

But then, the government’s apathy and slumber are nothing new. At least for Mumbai, be it terror attack or repeated flooding of the city, the government has invented an easy shelter to hide behind- ‘the spirit of Mumbaikar’. True, the Mumbaikars have shown a remarkable resolve in coping up with the miseries that have struck their city, but the government has exploited it to cover up its inefficiency to such an extent that now it appears to be more of a commoners’ compulsion to keep the life going.

Is somebody listening?

(http://ibnlive.in.com/mumbaimemories/heroesofmumbai.php)