1st Grade

Gooseberry is now in first grade! He missed the first week because his uncle gave him chickenpox. I thought that was the reason I was feeling a little...off. We just didn't settle in. Plus, Jeremelon's brother and his family (wife, two-year-old, and newborn) are living with the rest of us, and it's not a big house. Big enough, that's what I keep telling myself. But honestly, four adults and three kids bathing in the same bathroom is...problematic. We've been making it work, but I think everyone is constantly on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Heck, we caught Gooseberry's back to school cold, and I just can't shake it. Stress, stress, stress. It doesn't help that Jeremelon and his brother are complete opposites.

So, it was understandable that we were having trouble adjusting, and that I had hesitant feelings.

Except yesterday, after their first half-day for meetings and whatnot, I got a call from the principal. They're moving Gooseberry to a new classroom. (Actually, she said, "The District" is...) I have no idea why, as I got the message after hours and woke up today with laryngitis. So I'm sitting here, freaking out about what's going on and how he's going to handle it. He made a wonderful transition from his K classroom to his 1 classroom because they spent three or four weeks sending him over for an hour. And now we're going to uproot, probably give him a new teacher, possibly all-new classmates...and he only JUST started getting used to this one. Maybe the district has good reasons. Maybe it'll be better for him. But there are SO MANY variables when switching any young child's environment, and it's at least double the stress for spectrum kids. I'm trying REALLY HARD to stay calm, not panic, and not be angry. There are only four kids in his class right now, so the obvious answer is restructuring to conserve resources. But who knows?

Did I write an update post to show just how far he came last school year? I don't remember. If not, I need to do that. Today's post isn't about that. Because although I *want* to remember that stuff, today is a frustrating day.

Gooseberry is six. It's not uncommon for autistic kids to hold off potty training at all until now. Thankfully, Gooseberry has been using the toilet with no problem since preschool...with one exception. Last year, we had finally gotten him to a place where he was fully potty trained. He had the occasional potty accident when he got really focused on something and didn't want to have to stop to go. Like playing a video game. But we had a good month or so when we had no serious accidents. We had a free and clear horizon ahead.

And then he started school. He was in the functional class, where they work primarily on teaching kids functional skills to be able to take care of their own kiddo needs...like going to the bathroom. We could always tell when he was either learning something really hard or stressing over something, because he'd have a week or two of coming home in a different pair of pants. It was particularly bad at the end of the year. But in kindergarten, they scheduled potty breaks. They taught them to ask to go in between breaks, but they also made it part of the daily routine. For most autistic kids, that's probably a good thing. They need to learn to use the bathroom first, and schedules are their best, most favorite tool. But for Gooseberry, it made him regress. He went from being in charge of his own needs to needing reminders. From having control to being able to forget.

We spent the whole summer working on going #2 in the toilet. And he was getting better. But he's back to coming home from school in the wrong pants at least twice a week. Maybe it's just getting used to his new environment. Maybe he'll even out and we'll be able to retrain him to pay attention to his body. But if he changes classrooms? Then what? If he gets a new teacher he doesn't know? New classmates he's never met? He's a pretty darn resilient and brave little boy...but he has his limits.

And I'm going to have to write a note to his teacher that says, "Please stop throwing away his underwear. We don't have the money to keep buying new ones." And that just adds insult to injury...