2012

I don't make resolutions.  Even when a person is highly dedicated to making them happen, they still generally peter out by March, lost to the void of Life Happenings.  That makes them rather pointless in my book.

I do, however, make goals for the year.  Most of them I don't post.  They're for me to shoot for, not for others to know.  Some are simply ways I want to change myself, or the way I live my life.  Others are more tangible, but still more dream and intention than anything I think will actually happen.  They're the things I want to try to make happen, but if I don't, it's something to try for the next year.  These guys I have no problem sharing.

I'm a little sad this last day of 2011, because one of my goals for 2012 was to get pregnant in March.  Very few of the list of things that HAVE to happen before that's possible actually got taken care of, so there will be no Berrykin #2 next year.  The depth of my desire to make that happen was beyond words, and I'm therefore wordless to describe how disappointed I am.  Instead, I shall make 2012 a year of Productive Things.

Without further ado, my list of functional goals for 2012:

1. Actually graduate.  With a 3.5 cumulative, if possible (don't think it is, but I can come close!).
2. Get rid of half this excess physical baggage.  I have to drop at least 50 pounds before I will decree the field is ready to grow a new berrykin.
3. Get all of these stupid physical ailments addressed, if not fixed.  (SPA being my thyroid, my pelvis, my eyes, and my jaw, in that order.)
4. Submit something again!  I don't care what it is; my hand has been too long out of the game.
5. Set my feet firmly on a career path.  I've got a dream plan, a reality-based plan, a side plan, and a back-up plan.  Just in case.

That is my year, in prospect.  How 'bout yours?

NaNo Bonus Rewards

Really, writing is its own reward.  This book NEEDS to be flippin' FINISHED, already!  (Well, rewritten from scratch, that is.  Gag.)  These are just bonuses to make my month a little more enjoyable, or to enable me to fork over the dough for something I need but might not actually buy without extra incentive. :)  Actually, I think I'll make it a game.  That always makes my brain happier.

Bonus Points:

+5 points for every day of writing.
+5 points for every 1,000 words.
+10 points for every 5,000 words.
+10 points for attending a NaNo event.
+20 points for every 10,000 words.
+20 points for 25,000-word mark.
+50 points for full 50,000 words.

Purchases:
(Still brainstorming, so these are tentative.  I'll have to actually crunch the numbers later, when I don't have so much to do still!)
- New haircut
- New shoes
- Time to myself
- Hair dye
- Dessert
- A day off
- New pants
- Fabric
- Web hosting
- A party!
- New dress
- Dance shoes

Here We Go a-NaNo-ing!

National Novel Writing Month starts at 12:00am November 1st.  It runs until 11:59pm November 30th.  In between, participants race to write 50,000 words.  That's 1,667 words every day, which is just shy of 7 double-spaced pages.  When I trip into The Zone, that would take me a little over an hour.  Days that are heck-awful...well, I might make it to 500 words.  It's a lot of work, frustration, shoulder cramps, and fear.  And a lot of one's brain going, "Wooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  I've never won.  I REALLY want to this year.  I've got my story.  I've got my characters.  I've got my determination, and my muse is holed up in an uncomfortable cabin in the snowy woods (metaphorically-speaking...she's really the visualized archetype of my creativity...but she can be a right pain in the bum!).  Now all I need is the time!  I'm rushing to finish up as much of my school work as I can before the month starts.  It's a LOT of work.  But so far, so good!

Now I just need to set my rewards.  Oh, first, a caveat.  I don't do the rewards system as behavioral training thing.  It doesn't work for me.  There is nothing I can simultaneously not live without and still survive if I don't get it.  I've seen people use going to the movies, or buying new clothes, or going on vacation.  Me, if it's a movie that means something to me, I'm not going to miss it ('cause there aren't that many I *have* to see).  I don't have the money for clothes, even if I enjoyed the purchasing of them.  And if I don't have the money for clothes, I sure as heck won't have cash for a vacation!  Even chocolate, which I've attempted to use in the past, simply gets eaten when my conscience and willpower aren't looking.

So, I am trying something new.  Rather than setting levels that I fight to reach so I can get the reward, I'm setting rewards that are bonuses.  The idea is to not deny myself of things I want for bad behavior, but to enjoy something extra when I achieve things.  It's a fine hair to split, conceptually, but in practice it might make a huge difference.

I'm going to brainstorm a little bit, and then return to post my rewards.  That's something new this year, too. Normally, I don't let other people see them so I don't have guilt. ;)  This year, I just need to keep track of them someplace that won't get buried in the move!

Bye-Bye, #2?

Nap #2, that is.  I think the berrykin might be gradually giving up his second nap.  I have been blessedly grateful that naps became relatively quiet endeavors for the last few months.  He hated taking them, screamed his little head off for three weeks or a month every time I put him down.  And then he didn't like them, but he slept.  The mental relief of the change was bigger than the physical absence of struggle, chasing, and carrying!  Whew!  And with a few minor exceptions, it lasted.

Until last week, when he suddenly started fighting his 2pm nap.  Some days he goes down without a problem, but it's less than half the time.  Sometimes I think he's asleep until I hear him straining to poop (still haven't gotten his system to accept cow's milk without a fight).  That always makes him cry like a pathetic little thing and ruins any chance at calm quiet he might have until bedtime.  That happened today.  About an hour and a half later, he started being a grabby, mean monster (he's only mean to me...never to Jeremelon) so I decided he got to try to take his second nap again.  Now, he's sitting in his crib playing.  I'm 100% cool with that.  We both still get the quiet downtime, he spends some time alone in his bed (which I'm hoping will eventually cure him of the horrible way he wakes up every. single. time, with big fat tears and angry wailing).  Maybe it will also help him sleep through the night eventually!  I'm just worried it'll make him crankier during the day, and that his first nap won't be enough to last him the rest of the day.  Some days, we struggle to get him to 10am before he zonks, so there's no way it'll wait.  Ah, the joys of parenting. :)

On the other hand, I woke him up at 2:30am last night for a bottle, because by that point he's normally been up twice.  Last night, he hadn't woken up yet!  I wish I was more with it when he woke up later, because I don't remember if he was up at 7:30, or if he got up before that.  I can't even remember how many times I gave him his bottle.  -__-  But!  I would LOVELOVELOVELOVE it if he started sleeping more.  It's exhausting to have to wake up three times a night, so I generally go to bed after his second wake-up at 1, which means I'm nowhere near rested enough when he gets up for good.  Especially on the nights he wakes up twice more after 1.  Zzzzzzzzz.

Oh, and he cut all his molars within a week and a half of each other.  Now he's cutting all four canines at once.  I think that leaves one more set of molars, and then we're done.  For a while, anyway!

New Blog

There's a new link under Pals 'o the Patch: Tales of a PoliSci Polliwog.  It's my required class journal for American Government.  I'm behind on posting, and we only have to have ten posts total, so it might not be worth anybody's time.  But it's there.  If you're bored.  I make it a point not to discuss politics, so this will be a challenge.  I want to be coherent and...mm.  I don't really care if I'm persuasive.  I want it to read like it's well thought out and maybe makes people think.

Chances are I won't keep it after the class is over, but it's a good exercise in writing.  Stretches my muscles in a way I'm not used to.  Suggestions on ways to improve my craft are always good. :)

(And wth is up with all the tiny flies??  I swear - I can't sit down to do anything at the computer without at least one trying to fly into my eyes/nose and generally making itself a nuisance.  No matter how many I kill, there's always another one to take its place...)

(Edit: I just realized upon posting this that what I really need is a blog dedicated to entertainment reviews.  Not only is that a good industry "in," but it's a totally different way to write.  One I need to improve.  And I essentially write reviews verbally when discussing the myriad games/movies/shows Jeremelon and I are exposed to.  Why not put it to virtual paper?  You know, because school, the baby, job hunting, the Journey, the new top-secret blog project, writing a novel, improving my cooking skills and home organization, getting fit, apartment hunting, website building, career structuring, and learning a programming language aren't enough.  ::blink:: )

Was That Fly September?

Time is zipping by like I'm asleep!  To be fair, I might be.  Halfway, anyway!

Berrykin finally cut that third molar a few days ago.  Number 4 is still working.  He's also started dancing to music by bouncing up and down when he's standing.  ADORABLE.  And he hits.  Not so nice.  Still wakes up two or three times a night, but at least he goes to sleep without a fuss!  And nap time isn't so awful anymore, though he usually doesn't appreciate it.  Always wakes up crying, too.  The transition to whole milk hasn't been a fun thing.  Now that I know his problem - his gluteus maximus is just too strong! - it's easier to help him.  He still screams every time he poos, though.  That's just from *maybe* four ounces of milk a day.  I gave up trying to switch him to cups, though I still occasionally offer juice in a cup.  I'd rather he be hydrated and on milk.  Not awesome for his teeth (especially since he still demands a bottle every time he wakes up at night), but we'll just have to deal with that later.  Here's hoping he has Daddy's perfectly straight, generally cavity-free teeth, and not Mommy's wussy enamel and cavity-prone ones...

I'm doing my best to get all kinds of things done during the day, but it just doesn't happen.  I don't have enough sleep in me most days!  Plus, lots of big, unfortunate emotions all over the place.  My momberry moved to California a few days ago so she can spend time with her momberry before she heads to the great big berry patch in the sky.  My grandmomberry turns 95 at the end of next month, but she's still goin'.  Her memory has apparently started having hiccups, though, which is never a good sign.  I'm not upset about her potential passing - she's had a good run, and...well...she's a sour grape, really.  I love her, but I know *I* wouldn't want to spend as much time in a nursing facility as she has.  It's a nice place, but...yeah.  She's had to watch all of her friends and siblings go.  She's a stubborn old broad, though, so who knows?  The upsetting part is my momberry's life upheaval.  She filed for divorce the same day she packed everything up.  This is a good thing for the rest of us.  We might have a non-dramatic year, for once!  Not so much from her perspective.  We're all hoping she'll be happy and healthier in California without him.  And she had major surgery a week and a half before that, so hopefully that will help her feel better, too.

We're looking for a new apartment to move into, once the lease is up in November.  That means I've also been looking for a job.  After a great big frustrating run around with the Jeremelon, I've decided to go full-time.  I don't want to - I want to stay home with the berrykin.  It'll be hard on the Jeremelon, too, because he'll be here during the day, taking care of the wee one, and then having to go to work at night.  Meanwhile I just have to go to work, and then come home and play with the baby for a couple hours before he goes to bed.  And weekends.  I'll have him to myself on weekends.  But...urk.  I really don't want to leave him all day every weekday!  The thought of it makes me really sad and depressed, but that's the only way we'll start making the level of income we need to actually, you know, start paying off debt (or even ensure we pay all of our bills and eat each month).  I'd rather wait until he's older, but life isn't going to let that happen.  My own fault, really, but that's the way it's going to work.

Gotta say, job hunting SUCKS.  Especially when trying to take classes online.  And trying to improve physical fitness.  I keep forgetting things are due, and I don't have the brain to read.  And I really, really, REALLY want to write!  It's overflowing my poor, exhausted brain.  Creativity is spilling out and splashing everywhere.  What a mess!

My goal is to be back on track with everything by the end of next week, and then start getting things done like, you know, before they're due.  :P  I have too many emotions all jumbled up vying for space left after lack of sleep takes its cut to deal with a whole lot.  So it sits and doesn't get done.  But!  It will.  I am determined!

Hopefully tomorrow I stop feeling sorry for myself, too.  These last couple of days have been flippin' awful.  Blagh.

Tummy Distress

My poor baby.  I think he's cutting molar #3 (possibly #4, too).  Plus, his tummy is not a fan of whole milk.  It didn't occur to me that might be the problem until about an hour ago!  Such a sillyhead.  We changed several things at once, the same day he got his 1-year shots.  Ever since then, he's been cranky.  At first, I think it was the shots.  Then I think it was the teeth.  But last night...yeah.  Last night, it was the constipation.  He's been spitting up again, too, but the constipation is the really concerning part.  He woke up to poop several times in the night, and couldn't fall back asleep.  I don't believe that's happened since he was new!  And now, all day today, he shrieks his poor little head off every time he poops, which takes a huge amount of effort for almost no payoff.  And his bottom *hurts.*  I can't tell why, because he's using super-glutes again to keep the area protected and away from offending wipes.  So I don't know if I'm treating super-acid, skin tears, or both.  I gave him some watered down apple juice this morning - it usually helps (so long as he doesn't get too much, or we swing full over to super-acid side).

Crap.  And now he woke up from a nap that wasn't even long enough for his cd music to stop playing.  So...like...half an hour?  Poor baby!

Back to Blogger!

I have decided I don't like Facebook.  I know, I know.  I say that all the time.  But, really...I don't like Facebook.  Err...okay.  I guess then what I've actually decided is that I don't *need* Facebook.  See, it used to be a major source of social interaction.  Didn't matter that I didn't actually talk to anyone or even exchange messages.  I just needed to read other people's status updates, and I felt socially in-touch.  Except nobody updates anymore.  Oh, some people do, the ones who take their phones with them and update whenever they go somewhere.  I have a teacher who posts historical stuff every morning, but it's usually too early to turn my brain on and I forget later in the day.  So what I end up with, because I don't have a lot of friends, is the guy who talks about his cats, the girl who updates every time she shows up at Starbucks, the three guys who comment on every football minutiae they can, political complaints, updates on kid-isms (which are funny and all, but yell at me if I ever post any of the Berrykin's.  Kid-isms are great fun for adults, but they embarrass/shame/belittle the kid in question.  Really.  I know, 'cause I remember being a kid-ism when I was four or five), illnesses, and general complaining about why work sucks.  Occasionally I find out someone's pregnant (without details...hinthint), or a guy I know is now a girl I know, which are important posts, but in general: Boo!  

So I'm going to do most of my socializing on my blog.  Less interference.  Less disappointment.  Just me and my thoughts, 'cause nobody ever comments (and I gotta say, no comments on three posts a week with three readers is a far cry better than no posts on five updates a week with over 30 (conservatively)!).  Plus, I've got a lot to do!  I'm running a second Journey of 1000 Groans starting Saturday (link on right), to run for the next year so I can try to actually make myself accomplish it.  There's A LOT that needs completing/starting/deciding, and I won't get it done if I let myself dink around.

Also, this semester is going to be busy!  And officially my last one.  Right now, I have the field school (Sooooo excited!), two political science classes (American Gov and Comparative), physical geography, women's spirituality, and communication across cultures.  All but the field school are online, and I may drop comparative gov or communication if it looks like it'll be too much work.  Shouldn't be, because they're all essentially intro classes except spirituality, but I'm also trying to get a part-time job.  Oh, plus the silly correspondence class that I've managed to write one whole paper for out of fourteen.  Go me!  I'm shooting for a 4.0...so I may also drop one if it looks super time consuming (which is why I dropped my campus classes - I don't have 30 hours to spend on coding a program every other week!).  Then there's writing and exercising and getting Berrykin to sleep through the night (still wakes up three times - ugh!) and me to wake up in the morning and learning to cook more and sew better and did I mention writing?

I will probably be updating 1000 Groans a lot more often than the Berry Patch here, but I'll probably pop by with baby/family updates more often than I have been!  Gotta feel like I'm talking to someone, even if it's just the void of the internet! ;D  Oh, and I also have to write a political blog for my American Gov class.  I think it only requires nine posts over the course of the semester, but I'll probably link it, too, once I get around to making it.

Switching Gears

I've switched the Berry Patch over to pumpkins for autumn.  I know they're not berries, but it's the patch idea I like most. :)

We had such a busy summer!  Busy month, especially.  The Berrykin turned a year old, started talking, started walking - not in that order.  His first words were (this time in order): "hi," "Dada," "doggie," and "Mama."  He has since stopped using Mama and doggie, but consistently says hi and Dada, especially when suggested.  He's also started using cell phones.  You know, sort of.  If we hand him an open phone, he puts the top half up to his mouth and says a sentence.  I'm not sure what he's saying, but it's the same sentence every time.  Occasionally after that first babble, he'll move it away, put it back and say "Haaaaa," which is how he says "hi." :)  He also climbs.  Watching him haul his little self onto our tall, overstuffed couch is wonderfully funny.  And he sneaks up on people.  If I'm sitting on the floor watching tv (which I usually do, since I still don't have new glasses and can't see the tv well enough if I sit more than a couple feet away), he'll crawl up behind me and stand up.  Then he puts his hand on my back or shoulder and leans way around so that when I turn my head, we're nose to nose.  If I'm not paying enough attention to look at him in a timely fashion, he leans over more to put himself in my field of vision.  Either way, he then proceeds to grin like the adorable little man he is.  He still has never slept through the night, still wakes up at 11:15 and either 1:15 or 4:30, sometimes both.  He went through major separation anxiety, and calmed down for about a week and a half.  Ever since then, he screams the second it looks like I might leave the room.

My sister got married a week after his birthday.  A lot of time and energy went into that, and it was a beautiful, beautiful day!  The Andypillar moved away to college last week.  My mom is moving to California with my middle brother sometime in the next three weeks.  Oh!  And the Jeremelon got a promotion!  Unlike the last time he moved from supervisor to manager, he got more than a 75-cent raise. Hooray!!

I know I said I was done with school, but because I haven't been able to find a job despite seriously strenuous looking, I decided to go back for one last semester.  I intended to finish my correspondence class last month so that I could officially graduate then, but I chose not to.  This way, I have until December to find a job before our funds are gone, and I can squeeze in not only a better GPA (in case I ever want to go to grad school), but classes that might assist in getting me a job.  I'm taking a field school!  Woohoo!  Pretty much 99.5% of all archaeology jobs now require a field school, which wasn't the case back when I was planning things out.  A field school is essentially being free diggers, but it gives participants the hands-on experience necessary to knowing what one is doing on-site.  We meet every Saturday for the semester, all day, and we dig.  And we sift.  And, hopefully, we discover. :)  It's a new site this semester, a rock shelter out on the plains.  Score!!  I'm also taking Geographic Info Systems, which involves the computer mapping/CAD systems used by those involved in earth science, including archaeologists.  And Comp Sci, because I want to know if I actually want to go into programming or if it's not something my brain wants to do all day.  Aaaaand...two others, that would potentially enable me to go in a totally different direction career-wise, but it's top secret.  I need to sort out how I feel about it before I spread the word around. :)

And that is life in the Berry Patch.
Hopefully I'll have more time/fun stuff to post this fall, so it's more frequent than every other month!

Oops...

Wow...I actually completely forgot about my two-week challenge!  We ended up with so much going on, and random things changing my schedule and such that it just never entered my mind.  I haven't been able to go anywhere because two of my tires need replacing.  Which means I can't get to the store to buy groceries.  Which means I have to rely on the Jeremelon.  Which means it doesn't get done, because our options for shopping are late at night when he gets home and I have to stay home with the Berrykin (can't drive his manual car), or during the day instead of sleeping.  We've both been fighting to find more sleep, so that doesn't generally happen.  Ugh.

I'm going to have to restart this later, when I can hold more in my head than braaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnssssssss...

Also, job hunting SUCKS.  I've submitted close to a dozen apps now, and haven't heard a thing.  It's all retail, though, and I expect most of them did summer hiring a month or two ago.  I plug onward...blurghle.

My Two-Week Challenge

I have a summer challenge going on at 1000 Groans (link on right).  It's to help me try to stay on track with my writing and my exercise, and give me a little way to be proud of myself about it.

But!  I want to add a couple more things that don't fit into that challenge.  So I'm going to keep track of those here. :)

We do really well watching what we eat for about ten days, and then we fall off the wagon.  I want that to not happen!  In order to do that, I have to get really strict about buying food for meals ahead of time, and planning those meals ahead of time.  Part of that is really hard, because Jeremelon's schedule is all over the place.  Days he's supposed to be home for dinner, he's often a couple hours late.  Days he's supposed to leave at dinner time, there's often a lot we're trying to get done with the day.  I want to control better for those problems.

So!  My first goal for the next two weeks (of habit forming) is to plan our meals for the week on Thursdays, and have them ready and waiting when it comes time for dinner/linner/lunch.  Tacked onto that, I always want to make sure we always have easy-to-grab, healthy snacks in the fridge/pantry, because I am HORRIBLE about snacking instead of eating when I'm hungry.

My second goal is to have my stupid correspondence course done by 7/15.  That's a frick ton of work, considering I have one of 14 papers done, and by the 15th I'm supposed to have read six books.  (Which reminds me - I need to go to the library tomorrow.)  If I don't do that, I will not only NOT graduate this summer, but I will be more than a little tempted to take classes this fall.  I don't want to be stuck again for another semester.  As tempting as field school and programming and dance class might be............. So, I intend to work my tail off to get that done.  If it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen.  But I can't take the job I desperately want if I don't have my degree, or if I take more classes.  Not that I think I'll get it, but one never knows!

I might have more for the summer, but I'll come back for those. :)

Whew!

I finally got an email from the Anthropology department, letting me know the class I needed to transfer into a specific slot will transfer there.  WHEW!  I am so relieved!  I was worried...okay, half-worried, half-accepting...that it wouldn't, and then I would have to go to school for another semester.  That would have been fine, really, because then I could've had the funds to take a basic computer science course, plus field school.  Part of me wants to go, just so I can take those two.  It's very tempting.  Except that then I have to go for another semester.  And accrue more debt.  And not work full time.  Sooooo...yeah.  Probably going to hurry up and finish my correspondence course as planned so I can move on.  Still...tempting...

Stupid Wind

Erg.  I forgot to take my Zyrtec last night.  That means that today, even though I should be working on my job app/writing, I'm having a hard time making my eyes focus/stay open.  There is a haze over everything, and my eyes...well, they just hurt.  I wonder if those old eye drops I have are still good...

What else?  Uh....brain fog...

........


Diets are very hard to stick to when one has little good food left in the house and $0 in the bank.  : /

And staying away from Facebook is difficult when one is very bored...

Baby Catch-Up

I know I need to write more on graduating.  Because I might not in fact have actually graduated by the end of the summer.  Thanks, procrastination!  But then, if that happens, it might work out okay.  I'm still gunning for graduating this summer, though.  And more than that, I don't have time to say.

The berrykin is currently enjoying Cheerios and yogurt drops in his high chair.  I've been trying to work him back into solids for a couple weeks now, and it's been tricky.  One, because he wants to feed himself now.  Two, because we sort of skipped steps between strained foods and solids, and he wants solids now, not strained stuff, so I don't quite know what to give him.  And three, because his bottom keeps getting raw because of all the acids in what he has been eating.  (And I smell onion from Jeremelon's lunch plate.  Ew. I haven't been able to smell anything for a month or more now, except the biggest smells.  I finally got antibiotics that I finished yesterday, and now I can sort of smell again.  Stupid chronic sinusitis!)  I try to give him a little something from what we eat, but I have no idea how much to give him, foods vs. formula. Right now, he mostly snacks.  I'm okay with that, but I'd like to work him up to more "hard calories," in the attempt to get him to sleep through the night.

Sleeping through the night is that thing that I fear will never happen, and yet sheds light on the horizon.  Berrykin does NOT like to sleep.  At All.  EVER.  Part of the problem is that he's still going through some serious separation anxiety.  He is super clingy, which I love, since he's never been a snuggler.  But it makes it difficult to do things like, oh, go to the bathroom or make dinner.  He also wants to explore EVERYTHING.  Including while his eyes can barely stay open.  He is a SillyPants.  All of which contributes to his desire to not sleep.  He won't nap without screaming.  He wakes up two to four times a night and screams half of them when he has to go back to sleep.  One look at his crib, and he screams.  Half the time if I walk into the bedroom with him, he squirms and whines and tries to get back out again.  Irksome.  I have tried the "cry it out" method.  It does not work on my berrykin.  Only rarely will he cry himself to sleep (this was true even when he was new).  What happens most often is that he works himself into a fervor from which he cannot calm down without close to an hour of parental soothing.  Sometimes even that doesn't work.  So it looks like our only option might be snuggling him to sleep.  I don't know that my back can take it, as we have to walk him or he squirms away to explore.  (He IS a sillypants...right now, he's leaned back in his chair, chortling at me with his feet propped up on the tray.  So what I see is little feet soles, a grinning, giggly face, and a big ole milk bottle.  ADORABLE.)  I guess I can maybe commit to walking him to sleep until the separation anxiety passes. :T  Grr.  I don't want to get stuck doing it forever, but it's better he sleeps, yes?  Maybe his immature nervous system is keeping him from soothing himself.  Maybe...

Aside from the baby, there is much hunting of elusive jobs, and I am focusing on writing again.  At the moment, I'm combining the two to create a job application.  Yeah.  One needs to create a dialogue module in a game, complete with several characters and branching storyline.  Hurray!  I'm having a blast with it, though all the mouse use is making my arm ache (how pathetic is that?  Shows you how long it's been since I used the desktop instead of the laptop).  The job is in Austin, which is in the last on my list of "I will never live there" states that I haven't lived in.  (The Universe is VERY funny. -__- )  The job also likely garners thousands, if not thousands upon thousands, of applicants.  So I'm not getting my hopes up, but it's nice to dream.  And I need to apply, even if the extremely tall odds are stacked against me.  Can't win if you don't show up, right?

Also, trying to change my diet to get rid of all the fatty foods.  Yesterday didn't go so well - we binged at Red Robin on onion rings, fried zucchini, and a mud pie.  But other than that, it's been a smashing success.  I get fat-free candy whenever I want (because cutting out sugar AND fat is recipe for failure), but I only get chocolate one or two days a month.  We've also cut out fast food altogether.  Rather, I have.  The hubby still feels it's a viable alternative late at night when neither of us wants to make food.  I have removed myself from the equation by trying to go to bed before he gets home.  That way even if he buys it, I can't eat it.  It also doubles as a money-saver.  Yay!  It does, however, make the kitchen much more of a pain in the neck.  I HATE doing dishes.  I will clean pretty much any- and everything in the apartment rather than washing dishes.  Bleh!

C'est Finit!

I have taken my last class.  Completed my last final.  And I will have more to say on that when the wee Berrykin isn't shrieking to have his diaper changed.

Mobility!

The Berrykin crawls!  He's been working on it for several weeks now, slowly working up his courage and coordination.  His legs had it down ages ago, but it took him until today to figure out how to get the arms to do what they need to.  In between, he did a bit of army crawling, got pretty speedy at backward scooting, and has given himself rug burns on his face more times than I can count.  He is SO CUTE!  And big!  We weighed him...I have no idea when it was.  20 pounds!  Under six to twenty in about seven months.  He likes his food. :)  Unfortunately, I've been trying to get his raw, raw bottom to heal for two weeks, so we took him off solids two days ago as a last resort.  So much better now!  I'm not sure what I'll do when it's healed, as far as reintroducing foods.  : /

Oh, he's also hit stranger anxiety big time.  He used to just stare and stare and stare, but my dad came over the other night.  No matter what he did, Berrykin cried.  And he's been sooooo clingy.  -__-  My back is exhausted.  And I haven't gotten anything done lately.

Speaking of which, I have officially under a month until finals are over!  O_o  So scary!  I feel like I have no brain left, and I will be tremendously relieved when it's done.  Of course, then I'll have a job to contend with...but I won't be having to write papers and case studies and taking tests.  Hopefully, I'll be able to leave work at work, and enjoy all the hours off so I can work up to writing again.  (And speaking of THAT, if you want to find out what it looks like when I DO write, pop over to Facebook.  My personal page is a fan of my professional page.  (If you are a casual visitor and would like to follow me, comment, and I'll let you know the name of the page!)  I'm trying to post often about the trials and rewards of attempting to write a book and get it published.  I will be posting daily, just as soon as I have the time and mental capacity.)  I have a boatload to do still before I'm done with school, though.  Three little papers, a BIG paper/presentation (the research for which I've only barely started), three quizzes, umpteen articles to read, and Guilder to frame for it.  Bah!

My allergies are also kicking my behind currently.  And I think I'm sick.  Because of all this never-ending exhaustion and lack of concentration, I'm having my blood drawn on Monday so they can check my thyroid.  Postpartum thyroiditis is apparently pretty common.  I both hope it is and hope it isn't that.  I don't want thyroid issues on top of everything else.  : / On the other hand, I don't seem to be able to get more sleep, no matter how hard I try.  The Jeremelon has no trouble.  He fell asleep at 7:15, right after he put the baby to bed.  And me?  No matter that I was falling asleep on myself an hour ago, I'm cleaning the bathroom and taking a bath and blogging and picking up and brainstorming story and kicking myself for all the work I didn't do earlier (not, thankfully, all at the same time!).  I confuse myself, sometimes.

Baby Business

The Berrykin is weaned.  I am torn over this.  On the one hand, I'm sad he's old enough.  I miss the teeny tiny thing he used to be.  I miss the connection.  I don't miss the fighting to keep him latched and interested, or listening to him wail in frustration.  I also have a *ton* of extra energy, and I can take medicine again and cut calories and exercise more.  All good things.  But I'm still sad. :(

Berrykin also rolls!  Around!  All over!  This afternoon, I was sitting on the futon doing something on the laptop when there came a banging from beneath me.  I looked over the edge, and there he was, smiling up at me, all but his head and one arm under the futon.  He managed to get himself half wedged under the couch (I typed that as "cough" and didn't notice until I glanced back through before posting - guess what's been plaguing me for over a week?) later, too, but it's too low for more than his legs to fit under it.  Silly boy. :)

His third tooth is also coming up, top right.  It made him a terror for three days, then he settled down.  Which I find a blessing, as it hasn't broken through yet.

School continues to go well.  The Jeremelon's work is less than adequate, though.  All those promises they made him when he got the job about moving up and lots of positions becoming available to do so fell waaaaay short.  They in fact have an enormous overpopulation of managers, and routinely drop them into open slots instead of moving up people who've been at the site longer and meet all the qualifications.  Some of them have been there five+ years.  As supervisors.  On barely more than minimum wage.  Some with families.  It's nuts.  I found him a job to apply for that would pay almost double what he makes now, but it required he work all five work days, and that doesn't work.  Not until the middle of May.  Grr.  Retail pays nothing.  He got a 20 cent raise for being there a year...which is more than it used to be, but still not exactly a lot.  :P

And now I go to bed.  Once the Berrykin is fed, since he cried as I typed that...

Quick Update

1. Is this what school is like for most people?  The ones that enjoy it?  Or just a few?  'Cause this semester ROCKS!  So far, anyway. :)

2. Sinusitis is a bad, bad thing.  It's getting worse, because my sinuses are becoming less sensitive and more tolerant of their generally raw state.  This time, I didn't even realize it was worse than normal until all the lymph nodes on the right side of me from behind my ear/base of the skull down my neck to below my clavicle were swollen.  I didn't even realize THAT until I went in to see why I suddenly had a huge, super tender lump at the base of the front of my neck.  First opinion was an issue with my thyroid, which I suppose it could still be.  Except that it's not nearly as sore as it was the last couple of days.  I'm so VERY glad that swallowing doesn't hurt nearly as badly anymore.

3. The Berrykin is six months old!  He sits.  He pulls himself up on things he can get his hands around (namely my fingers).  He doesn't yet roll from back to front, and we're skeptical he'll crawl at all.  But time will tell.  He currently has a bit of a cold, with a stuffy/runny/bloody nose, poor baby.  But that's likely to happen in negative-degree weather.  Oh, and I told him "I love you" at one point this evening, and I swear what he responded with sounded like a first attempt to mimic the whole sentence.  MELT!

4. Feeling done with Colorado.  Don't think we'll ever have the funds to move ever again, though.  Maybe not even out of our one bedroom apartment, which will prove troublesome in the coming months, let alone once the lease is up and the baby is sixteen months old and still sleeping in our room.  I was really wanting to land the Anthropology internship at the museum this year, but it looks like they might not be running it.  Just my luck!  (This appears to be this year's theme, actually.  All those things I was really interested in years/semesters past suddenly and without warning become unavailable now that I have the time/ability/motivation to pursue them.)  My guess would be because they have a big find being dug up in the mountains.  MAJOR bummer.

5. I thought I had five things.  Guess not!

Happy New Year!

I really need to do some life updates on here.  But tonight is not the time.  I need to do a year-end/beginning post, too.  Also not the time.

I do want to do a little reflecting, though, before I get caught up in everything we have going on this week. We're driving to California on Thursday so Jeremelon can say goodbye to his grandfruit.  It won't be a fun trip.  I'm certainly looking forward to getting away from my three-room world for a bit, but there's no way this will end with anything but tears.  Poor Jeremelon.  2009 ended with the discovery that both his grandfruit and his mommerfly had cancer.  2010 ended with the discovery that his grandfruit's tumor had grown too large to allow him to swallow, and that his other grandfruit also has cancer.  At least in 2009, we had the promise of a new berrykin.  In 2010, we had a wonderful berrykin with us, but that just made the stress that much worse, despite the fact that Berrykin makes us laugh quite often.

As for me, these were my goals for 2010:
Goal 1: Have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby!!
Goal 2: Do my best to finish my degree in December. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. TRY HARD!
Goal 3: Write three times a week, almost every week.
Goal 4: Mild exercise four times a week, every week.
Goal 5: Get happy! You're having a baby. 


Goals 1 and 5 went very well!  Goal 2 didn't happen, but I did actually try really hard.  9 credits in the summer while in my third trimester was a metric ton of work.  Goals 3 and 4 happened randomly throughout the year, but in all were pretty much failures.  On the whole, I'm not too upset by the way it turned out. :)  I would have liked to write more and exercise better (especially prior to giving birth), but that at least taught me how important it is to utilize my time productively.


My goals for 2011:
Goal 1: Get fit! Exercise for three hours every week.
(Bonus: Lose 50 pounds.)
Goal 2: Finish a novel so I can shop something again.
(Bonus: Land an offer!)
Goal 3: Graduate in May with at least a 3.0 cumulative.
(Bonus: 4.0 for semester.)
Goal 4: Get a job that pays more than minimum wage.
Goal 5: Become self-sufficient.


Please note that these are not resolutions.  I do not resolve to do anything just because we have a new year.  I simply like to know what I'm shooting for in the next 365 days. :)