You're My Friends, Too

Has it really been since January 3 since I last posted? I am surprised Blogger didn't just up and delete my account, figuring I'd never be back. Holy crap.

Anyway, those of you who are my "friend" on facebook may or may not have (may not have being more likely, because I doubt anyone is wasting time thinking about this) noticed, January is about the time I jumped on the FB wagon and became a poster of tidbits. What am I doing now? How do I feel about the weather? What kind of day did I have? What am I eating for dinner? All of my life wrapped up into neat little one-liners.

This has been good for me. Work has been so hectic, it is a rare day that I can come home and compose more than one sentence at a time. And even though it is hectic, I still love it... So the need to vent isn't really there. And then there's the stability of my relationship. And so before I loved my job and had a stable relationship, my blog was about my ridiculous job and my adventures in dating and then there was the filler stuff about my dogs and my occasional forays into the kitchen. But that filler stuff does not an interesting blog make.

Or does it? Or do I really care? I don't know. I suppose if I have trouble coming up with coherent paragraphs (which, clearly, I have having trouble with right now), I can write single line snippets about things I already posted on facebook, like

• I am engaged.
• Coconut has pink eye. She is on a 10 day, 3 times per day regimen of eye drops and ointments. Poor baby keeps rubbing her face up against the couch. I hope I don't get it.
• My dad taught me how to change an electrical outlet last week and then I practiced by changing about 10 of them at my grandma's shore house.
• I watched the season finale of Idol while drinking wine and eating frozen pizza. Good times.

Or things that I don't really want to write on Facebook, like

• I wonder how to get my dogs to stop eating their own shit without following them around and scooping up after them, because they don't just leave it alone until I can clean it up on the weekend. I've tried sprinkling it with cayenne pepper, thinking that if they tasted a couple turds that were too spicy, they'd think ALL turds were spicy and thus undelicious. Following them around for a few days sprinkling cayenne on all the poop would be easier than following them around FOREVER cleaning up all the poop. It didn't work-- they think cayenne-covered shit is just as tasty as plain. Anyway, something's gotta be done. It's not making them sick, but it sure as hell makes me sick when they belch ass-smell into my face.
• I've been doing Weight Watchers since February and have lost 16 lbs, which is great and all... better than nothing, better than gaining, weight stays off longer when it comes off slower, blah blah blah blah. It's taking too long and I know it's my own fault for being so lax about it and not exercising, and still the fact that I am paying for it every month makes me feel like I should be losing weight anyway, without really trying. It's not working that way, obv, and I'm getting frustrated. My plan is to join Curves come summer. I know it's not a REAL gym, but it's something. I don't have to mess around with weights. I can't use weather as an excuse. It's a full body workout. Fast. Easy. SOMETHING. Better than nothing, see?
• I don't want to plan my wedding. I want to be married. But the wedding planning? Blech. And it's not that I don't care what my wedding is like. I do... I just don't want to be the one to make it that way. Also, I wanted to have it sometime within the next year, but my brother is being deployed in February for 6 months, so unless we hurry up and do it in January, I have to wait until at least September of 2010. That's a long-ass time away, and the whole thing just makes me mad. It makes me mad at my stupid brother for joining the guard just to get the signing bonus, and then it makes me feel guilty because if something were to happen to him over there, really, my wedding would be irrelevant, and on top of it all, it makes me feel like I'm being some kind of ridiculous bridezilla whiner for being annoyed that I can't have my wedding exactly when I had initially planned. In short, I become a grump whenever people ask me IF I'VE SET A FUCKING DATE YET NO I HAVE NOT!!!! See? Grumpy.

And, A-HA! Apparently I still have some rant left in me. The Frizz Chronicles can survive after all!

Just a Couplea Things

Worst Idea Ever: Putting Maroon 5's Harder to Breathe on my Couch-to-5k mix. It does not inspire me to keep going, but rather, it makes me feel like I am drowning.

*****

Weirdest Thing of Late: I succombed to the advertising pressure and bought a PedEgg. I can honestly say that filing your feet is the strangest feeling, and the sound is even worse. And you know how on the commercial they show the girl open up the lid and there are all those foot shavings in there and she dumps them in the trash can and *gag*...? Um, yeah that actually happens. It's gross. But still... my feet look so much better.

*****

This Will Make You Want to Hurl: SOMEONE, we won't mention who, put old food in the bottom of an empty outdoor trashcan without a garbage bag. I thought only had some crumpled up grocery bags in it. On trash day, I turned it over so rain wouldn't get in it and walked away. Today, the dog was sniffing around and scratching at it, and so I lifted up the can, only to be faced with rotting hummus and cheese, both covered in maggots. GAG GAG GAAAAG!!!!!!!! Maggots are my gross-out thing, and there they were! In my back yard!! Someone is getting in big trouble when he gets home...

A Smattering of Things

Hi All! It's been a couple weeks, but the update is pretty simple:

• Another interview
• Still no job
• 3 days down the shore with Mom and the dogs

I don't really want to elaborate on the first two. As for the last one, the time down the shore was okay, except that we've been working on cleaning out the house (it is my grandma's, but she doesn't live there anymore) and she is a pack rat and I have to say that it borders on a sickness. Like there is not much difference between her and the people you see on those crazy pack rat clean house shows, except that all of her mess is shoved into closets and drawers and corners because she likes the rest of the place to look perfect. You would not believe how small the apartment is, and yet how many bags of trash ended up on the curb. How did she fit it all in there?? I'm sure I don't know.

*****

My newest cooking project is poached eggs. This site in my blog feed reminded me of them, and at the time, my friend Alison was visiting for the weekend. We decided to make them the next day. Her method did not match SK's method, but they came out great, just the same. This morning I decided to make them on my own. I tried to do one with the whirlpool, and one without the whirlpool (which is how Al does them). I have to say, maybe my twister wasn't tight enough, but all the spinning water did was send the whites off in shreds around the pot. The whole thing eventually sort of came together, but I think one I just dropped into the almost-simmering pot turned out better. Next I will try the Julia Child method of dropping the still-shelled egg into the water for 10-20 seconds before breaking it into the water. I'll let you know.

*****

Another thing Alison and I did during her visit (what, you didn't think I held her hostage so she could cook for me, did you?) was see the new Batman movie at the IMAX theater. I have to say, the movie was great, I think, but I'm not entirely sure because I spent most of the time massaging the kink out of my neck and struggling to look around and figure out how what was happening on the left side of the screen related to was happening on the right. And behind me. It really was just too big. I don't know how the people in the back row fared-- it's possible that they were at an angle and distance that gave them a full enough view to be able to follow along and feel like they were in the movie, but we were somewhere in the middle. Ass-kicking scenes were especially hard to follow. The best part of the experience (and the reason I remember IMAX being cool) were the Flying-Over-Gotham scenes. A couple times it felt like I was about to fall off the edge of a building, only to glide across the street and through a skyscraper window. That part was pretty cool. I'd like to see it again in a regular theater... or even just in my own living room.

*****

I finally completed Week 1 of Couch-to-5k. It took me two weeks because the first week I did it left me pretty much feeling like I was either going to collapse into a cramped up ball or pass out from hyperventilation. There were only 8 one-minute running intervals during of 25 minutes of movement, but I could only do three of them the first time I went out. The second time I went I did 6, and I was finally able to do all 8 the third time I went. I decided to do a second week because I didn't feel like I was ready to move on.

Last night I made a new playlist on audacity for Week 2 with chimes at the new intervals. I definitely should have listened through it first. The first song sounded okay, but I forgot to adjust the volume of the chime, so I almost missed the first one. Then the second song came on and I don't know how it happened, but it was playing super super fast and so it sounded like I was listening to the Chipmunks. I thought I'd be able to keep going and not let it bother me, but just, No. I ended up walking the whole thing instead, and I was a little frustrated to realize that I got home at approximately the same time I would have if I ran. I suppose once I gain the endurance to actually keep running for distances, I can work on speed.

*****

It poured yesterday from start to finish, and Alex and I decided to celebrate the drink for our much dehydrated lawn by watching movies. All day. Four of them. In a row.

We started with Dan in Real Life. Then 27 Dresses. Then Strange Wilderness. Then Mr. Woodcock. Alex actually likes romantic comedies, especially anything with Hugh Grant really only likes movies with guns and/or fart jokes, but he watches romantic comedies for my sake, because I'm a girl. It was totally his my idea to watch the romantic comedies first, to get them out of the way, of course, and then move on to the stupid ones. For the record, Strange Wilderness was just as awful as you'd expect.

Fun with myPod

Far be it from me to whine about an almost ideal situation, but...

My time spent reading on the beach a couple weeks ago was relaxing, but it seems that whenever I read in the sun, I wish for a better way. If I sit up, I worry about shadows creating book-shaped tan lines on my legs, and if I lay down, my arms get tired holding the book in the air. (Wah. Reading on the beach is too hard.)

This week, I came up with a solution. I borrowed a book on CD from my library, copied it onto my computer, and uploaded it to my iPod. I spent about an hour by the pool today testing it out, and I am proud to report that Woohoo! It is lovely to listen to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe* while laying in the sun.

In addition...!

I have been staring at the Couch-to-5k running program for about a month now. I open the site, try to pep talk myself into going for a run, and then make up some excuse not to (I just ate, it is raining, I don't feel like showering again). Recently, I ran across these podcasts, which set each week's routine to music, with a guy's voice telling you when each interval has ended. I love the idea, but I don't love the music. So... I created my own mix! I was able to string together songs with Audacity, and since I don't have a microphone to record my voice, I stuck in a bell chime sound effect at each interval and damn I am a nerd with too much time on my hands.

* Can you believe I have never read this??

Scrambled

I drank an entire bottle of wine last night, and though it wasn't too early when I passed out, my eyes sprung open around 6 this morning. I still felt exhausted, but my efforts to fall back asleep did not work. When Alex came down at 9 to leave for work and I complained about this fact, he said something along the lines of, "yeah well, you do have all day."

So I made an omlette. Or rather, I made scrambled eggs with scallions and ricotta cheese. I don't actually make omlettes because I just can't seem to make it work. They stick to the pan, the bottom gets crusty, the inside doesn't cook, and no matter how many Food Network stars I watch, I cannot duplicate. Anyway, I make awsome scrambled eggs.

In other news, Alex and I inadvertantly watched two Abigail Breslin movies in two nights-- No Reservations and then Definitely, Maybe. Both movies were kinda Eh, but you know... I suppose it was to be expected.

Sometimes I wonder if my mailman gets annoyed that there is a Netflix envelope for him to take from my mailbox almost every day. I did call the post office to see if there was a collection box within walking distance to my house, but there isn't! I always imagine him hitting his stride, his bag getting lighter and lighter as he makes all his deliveries, and then he steps up to our house and rolls his eyes when he realizes he has to add something to his bag. I'll leave him something nice around Christmas.

Sales, Scrapping, Flies, Food

Two guys rang my doorbell, and when I opened the door, they claimed not to be selling anything, but why don't I look at this binder that just happens to list all the replacement services they offer? Having fallen into this trap before, and consequently entertaining the gutter guard guy for approximately 2 hours despite all polite and then even direct attempts to get him out of our house, I told these guys no thank you, that we are not ready to do anything yet. And you know what the one guy did? He pointed out the cracks in our front windows! The thing is? I know the cracks are there, and yet, I am STILL telling him no. If the cracks alone were enough to convince me to spend over $30,000 to re-gutter, re-window, and re-side the entire house, I would have done it! This asshole pointing out my home's embarassing cosmetic faults won't do anything but convince me to contract someone else when we do have the money. Jerk.

*****

It's Baaa-aaaack...

Yes, my friends, Scrapbooking is going to make a comeback in my life. I have a bunch of photos sitting on my hard drive. Now, I am hoping that without my ex-job sucking the life out of me, I will be able to revisit the things I used to enjoy. Crafty things. Scrapbooking. Beading. Card-making. Just the thought of it is making the black part of my heart shrink a little and the nerdy part sing B-52s tunes. Rock Lobster, indeed.

*****

There always seems to be a fly in the house. Apparently, flies can live for about 15 days, but I like to think that the lack of shit and garbage sitting around my house (on most days) would shorten their lifespans, and that it's not always the same fly. Plus there are always little fly corpses on the (cracked) window sill.

I don't normally try to kill the flies, because I'm not very good at it. I don't like to smash them against walls because I don't want to clean up their guts, and I really don't have the coordination for the mid-air swat.

Anyway, I was excited to trap a fly earlier when it landed on a candle and I covered the jar with the fly swatter. I walked the little cage over to the door, moved the swatter, and... the fly wouldn't fly! It just kept walking around in circles on the wax. I had to shake the candle several times before eventually turning it upside down and smacking it. It finally disappeared, but when I walked back in, there was a fly chilling on the TV screen. Suspicious, don't you think?

IMPORTANT FLY UPDATE: Just minutes after publishing this post, I heard a buzzing sound on the table next to me. Careful examination of the crime scene left me zooming in high def on a fly chilling inside my bag of Sour Patch Kids. A true flyitarian, I quickly grabbed the top of the bag, crumpled it up so the fly was stuck inside, and ran it to the trashcan. I like to think it's how Mrs. Miagi would have done it.

*****

And just what you want to read about following flies...

Tonight's Delicious Dinner: Cheesy Garlicky Super Tasty Risotto

2 cans low fat, low sodium chicken broth
2 tsp. jarred minced garlic (I suppose you could use fresh, but I am lazy)
1 cup arborio rice
chives
dried parsley (fresh would have been better, but I have none)
a couple handfulls of mozzarella cheese (I would have liked to add some grated parm, too, but am out)
kernels from 2 ears of leftover grilled corn (or you could use frozen)
S & P

*Note: I did not cook this the way you are supposed to cook risotto, and it still came out great. So there.

Pour broth into skillet and heat until steamy. Add garlic and cook about 1 minute. Add rice and corn. Cook uncovered for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Turn off heat. Add cheese and parsley. Use kitchen shears to snip chives over the skillet. Stir it all together until the cheese melts in and it looks all creamy and delish. Salt and pepper to taste. If you are feeling daring, add a few tablespoons of butter to finish it off. I did.

Every Morning

I have been showering at night for the past few months because I like to wake up in the morning and slowly become conscious, rather than forcing the life out of myself under some water. My routine before actually getting ready has become Dog Out, Feed Dog, Make Coffee, Check Email, Blog Sometimes. Because my computer sits by a street-facing window, I have noticed some neighbors' routines as well.

• Howard goes for a walk between 6 and 6:04. He uses an old set of radio headphones, and I imagine him listening to a jitterbug station, if there is such a thing around here.
• Brunette lady walks her dogs. She has the black lab on a leash, and an old golden lab limps dutifully behind them, off leash. This makes me sad, because it makes me think about looking out the window some day and only seeing the lady with the black lab.
• The kid across the street warms up his car, even when it's not cold out. It is obnoxiously pimped out and loud and everyday I count down to 6:16, when he drives away and my windows stop rattling.

I wonder if there is another neighbor who notices me? 7:10: Girl throws heavy tote bag and self into car, drives off to hateful district, counts down days to summer vacation: 15.

*****

So the pool is finally filled. The filter is not running, all the cracks have been sealed, and yet we still lost about an inch of water between last night and this morning. What the eff is going on with this thing???

Day Off

Ahhhh... You may be wondering why I'm blogging at 8:30 a.m. on a Wednesday that does not happen to be any kind of federal holiday. Or you may not really give a shit, but whatever.

I am home because I have taken the first of my 2 remaining personal days to go to the spa. Yes! I am just that posh. Um, and also, I have a gift certificate. This is coming at just the right time-- as the name of the package says, a "perfect refresher:" nails, toes, facial, a "light lunch" and a hairdo. I went ahead and scheduled a cut, color, and brow-waxing while I'm at it, and will actually be in the salon for about 5 hours today. I am expecting to step out of the place looking quite glamorous. Or at least not like the mess I have been looking like.

*****

We didn't exactly stay on top of keeping the pool clean toward the end of last summer. I called way late for an appointment to get it closed, and by the time they came, the trees were already shedding. There was a leak somewhere in the pool, and I was tired of going out and filling it up every day in order to run the filter, and oh yeah, there was this little incident with a $900 water bill. In short, I was tired of the damn thing, and let it get all green and nasty before the cover even went on.

Fast forward to last week, when we spend days pumping the cover, only to learn that it had a rip, and as much water as went through the pump, most of it actually came from the pool. When we finally took the cover off, the pool was only about half full and the water was smelly and murky and we decided to just drain and clean the whole thing. That ended up taking days as well, due to a broken pump, and the fact that the leaves and goddamn brown spikey ball things and whirlybirds kept clogging up the lines.

It is finally empty now, and my dad is coming over after work today to finish cleaning it out. P.S. He is the one doing most of this work, and when I said we spent days working on this, I really mean he did. Any suggestions for thank-you gifts? We owe him a lot.

Anyway, I have several calls in to pool places to come out and give us estimates to repair the cement and paint the whole thing. I have a feeling that by the time all of this happens, we will be close to, if not into July. Thank goodness for our A/C... knockonwood.

If I suddenly disappear...

... ask around at work.

Numbers

150: rediculous cost of my haircut/color (with tip) on Thursday night
17: dollars left in my checking account after paying for said haircut
6: hour my alarm clock went off yesterday
8: times I checking my cell to see if I had missed the Snow Day phone call
2: students in my class who came to school
0: work done
54(ish): seconds to get out of my work clothes and into my perma-weekend clothes when I got home
3: DVR'd shows (specifically: AI results show, Lost, Survivor)
8:15: time I woke up this morning (because I passed out at 10 last night)
2: cups of coffee
2: hours of napping
1: blog entry (so far)

Morning Mutterings

In a strange moment of morning fogginess, I decided that I would smell the mint in my spice rack. You know-- to see if it really smelled like mint. When I opened the container, a couple specks fell into my coffee. They were tiny, and I dunno, I am lazy, and therefore did not remove them.

People-- have you ever had mint coffee???? It is delicious and refreshing and takes some of the bite away from that nasty teacher-coffee-breath I tend to walk around with all day. I think I have innovated something that could catch on here...

*****

The more toys my dog destroys, the more often she is forced to rediscover old toys that she has been ignoring since 8-week-oldness when I first got her. Her most recent find is a super bouncy ball that used to have a string through it for tugging purposes (she has since chewed it off). She is currently (repeatedly) walking around with it in her mouth, dropping it on the floor, and watching it as it bounces a million tiny bounces across the floor, and then pouncing on it. I imagine her inner voice screaching with delight, "again! again!"

*****

Kid-Bit

OCD kid was in the class bathroom the other day for quite awhile. This is somewhat normal for him, as on top of the fact that he has no issues pooping in there, he has also been caught stripped down to his underwear and wifebeater and flexing in the mirror (p.s. this kid is 8 and scrawny-- more the size of a 6 year old), sitting backward on a urinal in the hall bathroom trying to poop, and watching himself "grow," if you will. Anyway, I kept calling to OCDKid while he was in there, "doin alright in there? I hope you're not playing around!" and he sounded like he was okay. But well, when he eventually came out of the bathroom, he was soaking wet from head to toe, and his hair was all spikey wet with several big foamy blobs in it. When questioned, all he would keep saying was, "I forgot to do it last night. I just remembered, I forgot to do it last night. I put in the shampoo, but I forgot to wash it out last night."

So he attempted to wash it out the next day. In school. In the sink that is about 1 foot from the floor.

Itchy

In my last post I mentioned the little skin issue I had been having. The day after I wrote that post, I went out and bought some sensitive skin moisturizing body wash. This consequently gave me hives on top of what was already there.

I took a sick day today so I could get myself to the dermatologist and get all this biz taken care of. The hassle of getting a referral so quickly is a whole other story, of which I will spare you the agonizing details. All you need to know is that my appointment was at 8:30, so technically, I could have just gone into work a little late, but I didn't because I will use the extra time to get some stuff done around the house.

BWAHAHAHAA!!!

Thus far, I have cut the lemon bars I made last night (This recipe put me in the mood, but relax: I actually made these.), and vacuumed the living room.

That didn't last long. (My dog is a slob.) (She takes after me.)

Content

My Sunday was a wash of a weekend day because Saturday night our water heater flooded our downstairs. So instead of getting to sleep in, I had to call my dad very so he could come over and fix it (thank god for daddies, huh?) and we could turn our water back on. Then, Alex's mom came over and we went shopping for Christmassy stuff for our house. "We," being just her and me. (She and me? She and I? I need to consult my copy of Eats, Shoots, and Leaves...) It was kinda weird, but we did end up with some pretty things with which to decorate our 3-foot table top tree.

Anyway, Alex randomly had off today, and so to make off for my loss of a nice, relaxing weekend, I took a sick day today...

*cough. cough.*

It ended up being a perfect day. Slept in a little, watched my DVR'd season finale of Survivor: China while Alex slept in even later, I made cookie dough for my cookie swap later this week, we played some Guitar Hero, made a killer lasagna, and Alex did the dinner dishes, and now we're sitting on the couch with full bellies and some wine and a fire in the fireplace and the dog's not being too annoying (yet) and we're about to watch Superbad (for the second time today), and the house isn't too much of a mess, and ahhhhh...

I needed this day.

Sleep and Garbage

I can't seem to get moving this morning. I should be ready to leave in about 7 minutes, but instead I am sitting here with the towel still on my head writing a blog entry.

I've been having serious sleep issues. I have to wake up around 6am. For me to get an ideal amount of sleep, I'd have to go to bed around 10pm. However, most nights Alex doesn't get home until around 10, and so I like to stay up for a little so I actually get to see him. Last night he didn't get home until about 10:30, and so I ended up staying awake until midnight.

Alex doesn't have to wake up until 7:30, and he has the added bonus of not caring if he's tired all day because he is able to sleep an extraordinary number of hours in a row on his days off. If he's lacking any sleep during the week, he sure makes up for it on Sundays. I, on the other hand, simply cannot deal with loud, moody, insubordinate children on little sleep. My teaching suffers, and my temper is shorter.

I'm really not sure how to fix this. Short of him getting a new job with fewer hours, I don't know how else I'd get the sleep I need while still getting to spend time with my boyfriend. Grr.

*****

Last Friday morning, I woke up when Alex was leaving for work so that we could take all of our Thanksgiving and bedroom-painting trash out to the curb. We walked outsided at about 8:30, and the trash truck was already clammoring down the street, almost at our house! I walked quickly to the curb with our kitchen bag while Alex opened the garage to start bringing out some of the other stuff.

We were hurrying, people. It's not like we were moseying along and expecting the trash guys to wait for us. But sheesh, stopping the truck for a minute while we brought some stuff out would have been nice!

However, they did not think so. They took the two bags that we managed to get out there, and then refused to take a box full of trash because the actual box was cardboard and recycling would have to take that.

Me: Erm, well there is food trash and stuff in it. Trash guy: *shrug*

So, take THIS! trash guys! We now have TWO weeks of trash on the curb, and then some! Three giant cans full, a few bags on the side, an old rolled up carpet, more stuff from another weekend of painting, and plenty* for the cardboard guys. So nanny nanny boo boo!

* Including the box from Guitar Hero for Wii, which I bought A for his bday. I. am. Addicted. Also: A rockstar.

News

So you know my iGoogle page? There are lots of news gadgets or widgets or gidgets or whatevertheyarecalled that you could put on your iGoogle page, should you choose too. But on my iGoogle page, I only have E! Online and People.com news. Because real news is sometimes sad or horrific or infuriating, and I avoid those types of things.

That said, it should come as no surprise that E! Online's top story today was intelligently titled, "Britney: Gimme more custody; Judge: Nope"

HA!! Did you just read that?! Is that not the funniest title for an article EVER?!?!

I imagine the entire conversation between Britney and a judge to go something like this:

Britney: Yo yo yo! Gimme more custody, fool!
Judge: Pshhhhhiiiittt... Bitch! I ain't allowin' that shit! NOPE! That shit wack!
Britney: Whatever playa. I'm going to flash my gyne at some paparazzi. Try to say "NOPE" to that!

*****

And while we're on the topic of news, let me just clarify that really real news does occasionally make it's way to me. For example, this? Let me just say, I wish I could find a picture of this lady's mugshot, because it is truly hilarious.

*****

Kid-Bit

ChowDownKid: What does D-I-C-K spell?
TantrumKid: Oooohh!!! ChowDownKid said Di...
Me: TantrumKid! You better not! And ChowDownKid? When you can get 100 on a spelling test, then I'll let you spell all the inappropriate words you want.

~~~

Me: What are your 5 senses?
TantrumKid: [with pride] A nickel!

In Need of a Tune-Up

So I didn't mean for my last entry to come off all depressing. I'm sure my brother will be fine, and he actually extended his contract to get this deployment, so it's not like it's something that is happening to him. I just wanted to send a little love his way, that's all. Even if I don't tell him there is love being sent his way.

In other news, I have decided that my blog is boring, and I am trying to come up with a way to make it a little more fun. I think I used to tell funny stories and anecdotes and whatnot, and somehow that morphed into a weekly (if that) 26 year old's version of a pre-teen diary. As such:

In middle school:

Dear Diary,

Today we had a test that I didn't study for. Oops! But I
did get to sit next to You-Know-Who today and he let me borrow his
pencil. He is soooooooooooooooooooooo cute! I'm going to see if
Kelly can sleep over tonight. The rents have been so uncool
lately, so we'll see.

Love,
Jess

Now:

Dear IIFs,

My lesson plans were due today and I didn't bother having
them in on time. Oops! Also, a kid bit me.
Alex cooked me dinner last night and it was soooooooooooooooooo
yummy! Later, I'm going to my parent's house for dinner. My dog
won't stop peeing on the floor and eating rabbit shit.

Later,
J

Guess I need to work on this.

*****

But before I work on making this a non-boring blog, I just have to say: You know that whole coffee maker dilemma I was having? Well, sadly, Alex's brother broke up with his girlfriend, but not sadly, he moved back to Jersey, and since he is now living with his dad, does not need his Keurig coffee maker. He let us have it, and I. am. in. love. Also-- you can buy tea and hot chocolate pods to put in it. Woot!

*****

And One Last Thing (for now)

I want to start a product review blog, a'la Sundry or Awesome. I just can't come up with a clever name for it. Any suggestions are welcome, AND if I choose your name, I'll give you credit for it. Because I'm fair like that.

WARNING: NASTY BUG PICTURE BELOW!!!

Last night, I left Coconut outside for a little while, and while usually she just sits by the back door when she wants to come in, this time she was barking madly. I ran downstairs thinking that surely there was an intruder, and that this time she had decided to scare him away rather than roll over onto her back.

I ended up opening the door to her barking at THIS:



I know! What the?!?! When I started taking pics of it, it did this weird little bouncy up-and-down dance. Show off.

I checked whatsthatbug.com, but had no luck. It doesn't match any of the mantises listed, and I am clueless as to what else to check. All I know is, thank goodness for my noisy dog, or I might not have noticed it while opening the door, only to let it in with Coconut. *shudder*

*****

My boys walked out of my classroom singing "dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? dontcha!" That's where that whole comprehension defecit thing really becomes obvious...

Validated?

This is kind of embarassing to admit, but lately I can't keep myself away from the trainwreck that is Britney Spears. Stop looking at me like that! It's not like I want this!! I don't care about Paris or Lindsey (though I am way too excited about M-K's new role on Weeds...), but something about Britney just pulls me in every time. Okay. The secret is out. Please don't taunt me.

*****

The teacher who got four of my last-year students called me today to tell me that she doesn't know how I did it for an entire year, and that if something doesn't change soon, she is giving her 60-days and working at RopShite. Something about that call made me feel smug and oddly validated, as if my entire year of job-hating depression was not because I am not cut out to teach behavioral kids, but rather, because this particular group of behaviorals was fucking nuts. I know this was only the first full week of school, and I don't want to jinx things, but I already like this year so much better. I spend most of the day laughing (sometimes to myself, and sometimes out loud if I can't hold it in), and though I am exhausted at the end of the day, it is a certain satisfied exhaustion, rather than a frustrated, worn-out, down-in-the-dumps kind of exhaustion.

Not that I wasn't ready for the weekend.

*****

As I mentioned before, ChowDownKid likes to pick a random food daily and yell it out at various times during the day. He doesn't have Turrets or anything. He just likes food. Today's Special: "Sprinkle Cheese!!"

Impending

Summer school has been over for about 2 weeks, and next week I start up again with the regular school year. My classroom is nowhere near being ready, and this week I am stuck in a three-day autism workshop. Here I go, starting off the new year unprepared again... What else is new?

On the upside, I get a fresh crop of little behavioral darlings. This year's cast:

TantrumKid - 7-year-old known for toddleresque tantrums that include table-flipping and chair-throwing
OCDKid - Lines things up. All things. Crayons on the desk? Must be lined up. Legos? Line 'em up. What? It's time to put this away?? BUT I CAN'T UNTIL I GET THEM ALL INTO A STRAIGHT LINE!!!
ChowDownKid - Loves food, and often amuses himself by listing a list of things he'd like to eat; "chicken cheesesteak, french fries, meatballs, chicken fingers, ice cream, peanut butter and jelly... etc." Frequently pulls up shirt to expose jiggling middle while dancing.
BillCosbyKid - Looks like Little Bill, talks like a cross between big Bill and Bob Dylan's singing voice, and has been known to bring leftover fried shrimp to school. In his backpack. Loose. As in without a container or baggie.
TBD1 - Not sure about this kid, as he entered the other behavioral room toward the end of last year.
TBD2 - Another wild card; first year in a behavioral class.

I'm actually really excited, because I think I needed a change, and I think the personalities of my kids this year are much more quirky, and less angry than last year's group. Hoping for lots and lots of hilarious Kid-Bits to share.

*****

I was excited to find a Chinese delivery place in my area that has ONLINE ORDERING!!! I was able to order dinner tonight, complete with Alex's special-order lo mein (no veggies, pork and egg only-- god forbid there be something healthy in his meal), and pay for it with my credit card, without ever leaving the house! The only disappointing part was the Chicken with Almond Ding, which sounded fun but was disappointing. The veggies weren't cooked enough to accomodate my food allergies, and the chicken was cut too small to make it easy to pick out. Also? I think there might be peanuts instead of almonds. Still, it beats putting a bra on. Uh, which I'd have to do in order to leave the house and pick up the food. Duh.

*****

I've been using Firefox for awhile, and loving it. It made me (too) happy each time I could click on "Open in tabs" and all of my gajillion blogs would open up at once, tabbed right across the top of a single window. Likewise, when I could do a little online shopping comparisons simply by opening "in a new tab." However, during the last month, it has been super-slow, and I have to wait too long for a page to load and for links and menu bars to be clickable. I have tried to uninstall and reinstall without success. I was forced to return to Explorer, which works fine, but only had old blogs bookmarked.

Consequently, I *gasp!* stopped reading my blogs for awhile. I missed them, but was also too lazy to look up all the old addresses on my speed-retarded Firefox.

The silver lining: I have discovered Google Reader. I took the time to get the addresses and add them to my subscriptions, and now, each time I open Explorer, I am greeted with a fresh list of all my IIF's updated blogs on my iGoogle homepage. Dear Google, I love you.

Unwritten

I found this entry in my drafts list... I think it speaks for itself.

I keep starting entries and then boring myself to sleep before I even finish. I