Yes, I'm a brat.

Muscles called me a few hours ago and asked me to log in to his My Space page to take his psycho ex off his top friends.

Uhm....hello? What was he thinking!!!!! Seriously!!!!!

I immediately began contemplating the possibilities.

Instead of a straight body builder, should he become gay and "more to love"?

Should I change his background from pics of his motor-cycle to something pink and girly?

Maybe I should change his nickname to Tinkerbell?

Ohhhhhh the possibilities are endless.

Lunch time arrived, so I scampered off to eat with my best friend Cougar.

I told her about having Muscles' keys to his My Space castle , and we discussed the potential fall out of my impish intentions.

Cougar: Speaking of Muscles....Friday he was telling me alllll about your 'sexy voice'.

Blondage: *blink* .................? *blink blink blink* .....................?!?!?!?

Cougar: Uh huh. *arches a brow*

Blondage: What the hell did he say?!?!

Cougar: "Has Blondage done her sexy voice for you?"

Blondage: Ack! What did you say??? *laughing*

Cougar: "Uhhh no, I'm a girl."

Blondage: And then what! Tell me! *laughing harder*

Cougar: "Ohhhh she's got this really great sexy voice. You gotta get her to do it for you. She purrs and everything."

Blondage: It was innocent! I swear!!!!

Cougar: Uh huh.

Blondage: No really! I don't remember what we were talking about, it was perfectly innocent, but I said something like "Oh yeah" in some way he loved, and he is always asking me to do it again. I don't do it though!

Cougar: Uhhh huhhhh. Suuuuuure.

Sooooo.....I made up my mind. I was doing something, because I wanted a bit of revenge. *evil laugh*

So, my darling Flowers. I MOSTLY behaved myself. He remains a straight body builder with a motorcycle background.....but his profile picture has changed. It is now a picture of him sporting a Hello Kitty backpack.

I know. I rule.

So, of course, I couldn't STAND him not knowing, so I sent him a text.

"I didn't make you 'gay' on your My Space page.... And I didn't change your background to Strawberry Shortcake and rainbows... But I maaaaaaay have uploaded the Hello Kitty backpack pic and made it your profile picture."

Approximately thirty seconds later, My Precious rings.

Muscles: You did WHAT?!?!!?

Blondage: *howls* It could have been much, much worse ya know.

Muscles: *growls*

We play fought for a while, and I basically talked him in to letting me keep Hello Kitty up until tomorrow. THEN! I remember the conversation with Cougar.

Blondage: By the way, you deserved this as REVENGE!

Muscles: *sounds all innocent* What did I do?

Blondage: Cougar told me about your conversation about my SEXY VOICE.

Muscles: Yeah, I told her I can't stand up when you sound like that.

Blondage: *shriek*

Muscles: Well it's true. You sound all purry.

Blondage: NOT ON PURPOSE!

Muscles: Do it again. Make that sound!

Blondage: No! No no NO!!!!!!!!

He teases me mercilously, we laugh a lot, and hang up. I called Cougar immediately and relayed the conversation.

And then....I had an idea.

Blondage: Wanna be one of his My Space friends?

Cougar: *shrieks* YES!!!!!!

So I added her to his friends....we hung up....I called her back a little later.

Cougar: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blondage: What on earth is wrong?

Cougar: His NIPPLES! OMG his NIPPLES! He looks like a nursing mother! Make it go away. MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Flowers.....I don't think I have EVER laughed this hard this much in one day.

I am sooooo in love......

We saw Chris Cornell in concert last night. That is one seriously scorching hot man!



Sweetpeeeeeea......oh Sweeeeeeeeetpeeeeeaaaaaa.....beloved husband of mine.....can I please have him? Please? I promise I'll give him back. Well, eventually. I swear.

Please???? *bats eyelashes*

Sex and the Single series...

Blondage says...ok, my hissy fit is over. You've been very good Flowers, and SG sent me something new to post for you. I am sooooooo making out with you people in my mind....xoxoxoxoxo

- - - -

I'm still searching for that elusive thing.

I don't know if I'm a difficult lay or if I'm expecting too much or what. I've struggled with whether I was going to guest write on what happened last weekend. It makes me sound a wee bit whiny, to be honest.

I met up with the friend of a friend that I had written on before. We call him Mr. Missionary. He works that position quite well, if you recall. I think I may know why he likes that one in particular. He can control pace and speed and depth that way.

Anything else, and, how to say this delicately....he doesn't last as long. Let's put it that way.

In my experience, the more often a man orgasms within a short period of time, the longer he lasts before the next one. That personal myth has now been shattered.

Things went like this:

I went to his home. We chatted, slow danced a little, made out. I dragged him off to his bedroom because I was pretty excited to see him and he was pushing all of my buttons. Lots of neck kisses and touching the skin on my hips and back and belly. That first time, yum, lots of foreplay, a little short session of oral for me, and in the missionary position where he worked it well. I was close to cumming but couldn't catch up to him (this may be the story of my life) and it ended with him thrusting hard and deep but no orgasm for me.

I was staying at his home overnight, so I knew there would be plenty of opportunity for me. I was wrong.

Later in the afternoon, we were waiting for dinner to finish and distracted ourselves in the bedroom. I enjoy giving oral. I love feeling a man thrust his hips at me when he's deep in my mouth. I get turned on by how hot a man becomes from me sucking his cock. The thing is, I get so turned on from it all that I almost always want to climb on top of his hard cock and slide him into me. Which is what I did. And when I started riding him, I looked down into his face, with his eyes closed and a look of bliss, and I knew. His hands were on my hips, urging me faster and faster and then he grunted and pressed down on the curve of my waist and stopped me, so I started grinding and grinding on him, back and forth. But there was no orgasm for me to be found in the grinding. This session lasted about half as long as the last one. Which caught me by surprise, but hey, we had all night, right? Again, I was wrong. When he said he couldn't keep up with me, I should have believed him.

A couple of hours later, we were snugged up in his bed and I was kissing on his bare shoulder and chest. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his quickly stiffening cock. Yay for me! We kissed for a little bit and I rolled over with my back to him. I pushed my upper body forward so that I was more angled towards him on the bed, with my ass pressed hard onto the front of him. I pulled off my underwear and guided him into me. I don't think he liked that position because he lifted himself up a little and forced my hips down so I was half on my side and half on my stomach. Mmmmmm. I pulled my legs in, slid them between his, and got into a face-pressed-into-the-pillow doggy. He was pounding away at me and I gasped at him to stop and let me grab my vibrator because at that point, I was rubbing on my clit and had to cum badly but I knew that the fingers weren't going to work quickly enough. This part made my girlfriends laugh when I told them. He's slightly hard of hearing. He did not hear a word I said. So he kept going and a minute or two later, he was collapsed on my back after cumming for the third time. (Imagine a very big sigh here).

It was still very early in the evening, so I figured we'd nap, fuck, nap, fuck, sleep. Fuck some more the next day. We both woke up at 4am and I started with the oral again. I climbed on top again. He came really fast again.

And that was the last time for my visit. I kept waiting for him to try once more, but he was giving off distinct "disinterest" vibes. He stayed in bed until 7am, while I got up, showered, drank a pot of coffee, watched tv. He got up, I kissed him goodbye, and I left.

I'm not sure if I'm asking too much of the men that I'm picking. Are none of them willing to put in a little extra time to make sure that I have at least one glorious moment of screaming and grabbing the sheets? I know some men are very much against going down on a woman in which they've already shot their load. I don't know why, but it's pretty common. So why don't they try to get me off first? Am I doing this to myself by expressing my urgent need to be fucked? I think it's ok for a man to say no, I want to please you first. I want you to cum for me and then I'll fuck you. It's ok to leave a woman begging to be filled up even as she cums on your face and tongue.

I'm still seeking for that man who will make me wait or who will build me up and up and up and give me what I want only after he's toyed with me a little. Only after he has me begging.

Come to Jesus talk time

FLOWERS.

Single Girl wrote me this morning and told me she is going to quit guest posting because no one ever comments, and it HURTS HER FEELINGS.

If you like reading her posts, COMMENT. Don't email or text me your comments, TELL HER on the blog! Please! I don't want to lose her posts because my Flowers have gotten all lazy on me!

Update....

I am officially holding myself hostage until you people start showing Single Grrrrl some love!

Sex and the Single Girl - The Virgin Chronicles

The Virgin...

I have naughty plans for him. We met for lunch on Sunday. He is young and sweet and oh-so-eager. And he probably belongs right here because he went on a tiny bend about liberals and their aversion to guns. This young man is a gunsmith. I didn't know those existed anymore, but apparently there is a trade school out in CO that one can attend and learn how to do all those things a gunsmith does. And I got a feeling that he leans towards the Republican side of the aisle. Which is a good thing.

Anyway, on my drive home, I sent him a text thanking him for joining me for lunch. I was still on the fence about meeting him for sex because of his special circumstances. He replied back saying something about looking forward to seeing me again. I responded with a "Are you sure?" What I meant was was he sure that he wanted to lose his virginity this way. With me, someone he met online, not someone he was dating and thought maybe he was in love with. He asked if it was a trick question. Very cute.

So in all the back and forth correspondences we've had over the past few days, I'm going to meet him. He is house-sitting and we will have the whole home to ourselves. I plan to stay the night over with him. This deal with him still carrying the V-Card makes me think he deserves more than a few hours of fuck-and-run. I've asked him what kind of things he would be interested in doing. He had already asked me if I like anal. Lucky boy, he got himself a girl who loves it. Which tickled him to no end. And as for anything else, the best he could come up with was the reverse cowgirl position. I think I can handle that.

His inexperience shows, but that's ok. After our weekend together, I think he'll have a better idea of what he likes, doesn't like, wants more of, and wants to try. I've also made arrangements for testing and to get the results in time to show him. I asked if he wanted to use condoms or to go it without. To alleviate any concerns on his part, I offered to get tested and to give him the results so he can truly enjoy himself. With me, I'm not too worried about his STD status. ;) I get tested regularly anyway, but this is a good way to make things very fun for him and me. I also told him that I love sex. He doesn't have to fear trying to get me in the sack just-one-more-time because I'm pretty much always up for that. If he wanted to fuck non-stop with breaks for food and water, I could do that. I think I left him speechless because all he could come back with in email was a grinning emoticon and "that's all I can say to that."

Should be an interesting break from the older, more experienced men. And hopefully I can impart the importance of foreplay to him. I've had some disappointments in the foreplay part recently and maybe, just maybe, for the next girl along The Virgin's path, he'll be well schooled in the art of fucking and making a girl cum.

Blondage says...something tells me his future playmates are going to be quite pleased with The Virgin's schooling. *grin*

Dude.

Muscles dumped the psycho-hose-beast. I told you about the psycho-hose-beast, right?

Oh. I didn't?

Well.

He's been dating a total whack-job on and off for nine months. She breaks up with him a couple times a week just to torture him. Poor guy. He's just ridiculously sweet, and she treats the dirt on her shoe better than she treats him!

It's finally, FINALLY over. She picked up all her stuff at his house, and they're done.

I was patting him on the back, feeling all proud.....

...when he started telling me about a new girl that he likes.

Ohhhhhhhh god.

That man.....

He has the worst taste in women I have ever seen. EVER!!!!!!!

(Well, apart from ME of course, but I'm taken.)

This new chick he is sniffing around....

*blink*

She has a four foot long Alligator.

As a pet.

IN HER HOUSE.

And don't you dare ask me what she feeds it!!!!

EEEK!

If ever a man needed a keeper....

Sex and the Single Girl series....

Blondage says....another hawwwwwt post from one of my dearest friends, known here as The Single Grrrrrl. Her adventures continue to inspire me and make my naughty bits very, very happy. Enjoy, my pretty Flowers! Oh -- and did anyone notice -- five posts in a row this week??!?! Damn it's great to be back!!!!!

I like sex.

No, really, I do.

And now, I know I have no "Off" button either.

I was supposed to meet the husband of the couple I've been writing about after work yesterday for some making out. I thought I didn't have enough time for sex, but making out is fun, and it would be a great way to get comfortable with each other and to whet our appetites for when we can meet again. We have been emailing each other (with his wife's benign supervision and occasional email note to me thrown in as a post script to his) and we wanted to meet sooner, but the time constraints weren't working out well. I mentioned that maybe Friday, after work, we could meet up again for just a little while and he came back with, "Come over to my office on Thursday and I'll close the blinds and we can make out."

So yesterday, I went to where he works. It's pretty close to where I work and I was there within 5 minutes. His office is stand alone. No receptionist's area or anything like that. You walk through the door straight into where he sits all day. There is a small, armless wingback chair and his desk and lots of filing cabinets. I leaned against one of the filing cabinets and we just chit-chatted for a few minutes. The he walked over and pulled the blinds closed. I asked him if his clients would be a bit suspicious and he said no, his office closed at 4. Then he reached over and locked the door. My heart started to pound when he did that. He stood right in front of me and kissed me.

We were standing and making out when I felt him press against me and he was rock hard. And not wearing any underwear. I couldn't help it, I had to touch him through his jeans. Which led to me desperately wanting to take him into my mouth. So I did what guys like us girls to do...I dropped to my knees in front of him. I opened his jeans and his cock sprang out. I licked him from the head to his balls. I think he fucked his wife before leaving for work today because I could smell and taste her on him, especially his balls. He shaves, which is very nice, and he wasn't too big nor too small. He was just right for deep throating way in the back of my mouth, which I did. I took him all the way in and just moved a little forwards and back so that my throat was tight around the head of his cock. I could hear him moaning above me. I gently pushed on his hip to guide him to the soft chair and asked him to sit down.

I worked him over for a little while and he was trying to reach down the scoop neck of my t-shirt to get to my tits. I pulled off the shirt and he slid down my bra so that he could lick and suck on my nipples. I whispered that I really wanted to strip off my jeans, pull my panties to the side and ride him. He said, "Not until I taste you first."

I don't think a woman has ever gotten out of her clothes faster than I did when he said that. I sat in the chair, but I was slouched down and I opened my legs to him. Oh, his wife has trained him well. He licked from my pussy to my clit and swirled around it softly and I threw my head back and took it all in. After a few minutes of that, I couldn't stand it anymore. I asked him to fuck me. And he did. Oh how he did. He was very intense and very hard. When he slid in, I was in heaven. I was diagonal across this too small chair with my shoulders and head hanging off and my arms above me, braced on the floor. I had my legs straight up in the air and locked together at the knees. I close my eyes during sex so I can concentrate and enjoy the feel of everything. I opened them and in the space between my calves, I saw he was watching my face intently during it all. Which was very sexy.

He got close to cumming a couple of times and backed off. Slowed down. I wanted to cum too so I started rubbing my clit after we changed things a little and I had opened my legs up wide and had my feet on the floor. He pulled out and started giving me oral again. Then he rubbed my clit with his fingers and watched my face again. He was perfect with the pressure. But I wanted to cum with him in me, so I asked if he would fuck me doggy style. I got onto the floor, which is carpeted and thrust my ass into the air. He fucked me while I played with my clit. I felt his thumb pressed right against my ass. Then suddenly, he pulled out of me again and started rimming me. I hope no one tried to come to his office at that moment because I got a little loud at that point. It felt awesome.

Unlike some women, I like anal. So I asked him to fuck me in the ass. He asked if I was sure. Oh yes, I am completely sure that I want to feel your cock sliding in and out of my ass! He took his time and eased in slowly. Jesus, that felt so good. And it must have felt good to him too because as I was really starting to get close to cumming, I could hear him above me getting louder and louder. I was trying to catch up, but I knew he was getting to the point of no return and I wasn't going to be able to cum with him in me. He pulled out and shot his load on my ass and back and I even felt some get into my hair.

That sex, even though I didn't have an orgasm, was great. The whole thing was very hot and fantasy feuled. Fucking in an office is probably at the top of most people's lists of things they'd like to do. I didn't mean for us to go that far. Both of us had set it up as a precursor make-out session, but I have no stop button. Get me started and I'm begging to have you in me. Afterwards, we were kissing and kind of giggling at each other and at how we ended up going much farther than expected when he said, "I was wondering if we were going to be able to just make out. Now I know the answer to that." He also said he is looking forward to our next meet up even more because he knew I'd be hot in bed, but I'm much hotter than he expected. Which made me feel a little better after that last disaster with the man who took and took and took.

As I was leaving, I mentioned that he gets to tell his wife all about it when he gets home and he said that he's looking forward to doing so because she was going to be very turned on. I sent him an email and thanked him for the wonderful interlude and he wrote back and said he had told his wife everything and indeed, she was excited by what he described. Since she has total access to the same email account/profile, I feel comfortable with knowing that she is aware of everything. I plan to call her some time and make sure, just in case, and also to let her know that if she ever wants me to walk away, I'm gone. It's her call, not his.

Overall, I give this sweet husband of another woman 7 ass smacks and a "C'mon back here anytime, sugar!" I'd give him a higher number, but I think our next get together will surpass this in a serious way, so I have to leave room at the top for that.

Errrrrrrr.....no. :)

Soooo.....

Perhaps the previous post is a bit more vague than I thought it was!

Best two guesses so far?

1. Is it about a talking vibrator?

2. Is it something to do with the fertility stuff? Is Sweetpea giving you a shot?

Uhm......NO!

Way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off!

*dashes off cackling*

Open to interpretation....

I want to do this right. I want more of this. I CRAVE more of this.

Fingers. I like fingers. I should use mine.

What happens if I.....

Why isn't he here? He is supposed to be here!

No! Don't think. Concentrate!

I hear a sigh. Damn. This is so frikking cool.

Should I flick my tongue??? I want to flick my tongue.

A moan?

Fuck yes! I think I love this.

Why don't I have guidance. I'm supposed to have guidance!

I can almost hear that voice whispering in my ear...

Yes. Keep going. Don't stop.

Mmmmmm....the cutest little button. I need another moan. I think I will....

Ooops. A shriek.

Focus. Must focus. Take control. Concentrate! Do this RIGHT!

Slow it down. Softer. Gentler. Sneakier.

Oh yes, I liked that sound. Mmmmmmm. Makes me want to touch my.....

Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Yes! Pleeeeeeeeeease talk dirty! Tell me what you need!!!

The sounds....the tastes....the movements...... building....building.....

I'm in awe.

Oh my god. I am actually doing this RIGHT!

But damnit. He's supposed to coach me, watch me, FUCK ME.

No. CONCENTRATE!

Wait a minute! I think that's...I'm pretty sure that's.......an orgasm?!?!

I'm drowning.

YES!!!!!

Indescribable.

Fingers stroking my hair. Mmmmm..... Yes. Tell me it was good. Please tell me it was good.

Fingers pulling me up. Face to face. Staring. Smiling. Suddenly feeling shy.

Finally. A fantasy fullfilled.....with fascinating results...

Almost bliss...

Almost.

Crap blogging

Did any of you watch the new ep of South Park last week? It was about the guiness world record "crap" that one of the characters...errr....shall we say, created? They measured it in units of "Courics" (as in Katy Couric, which DID make me laugh), but for the most part, I didn't laugh much. I did think some of the stuff that made fun of Bono was good, but mostly, I was kind of lost and disappointed.

My husband, on the other hand, laughed himself silly.

When I told him I thought the episode was lame, he said he thought it was one of the best eps ever.

"You can't POSSIBLY think it was better than "Man-Bear-Pig"!!!!"

"Ok, maybe not THAT great, but close!"

"I. Just. Don't. Get. It."

"That's because you're a girl."

I wasn't laughing my ass off over the episode, according to Sweetpea, because I was born with the wrong "equipment".

If you're interested, you can watch the episode in three parts -- one , two , three.

This got me wondering about the whole nature versus nurture thing.

Sooooo.......tell me Flowers.

Are straight boys just BORN obsessed with electronics, boobies, crap contests and farting, or is it something they learn from watching fathers/grandfathers/friends/etc?

I'm super serial. Excelsiorrrr!

Sex and the Single Girl VI

Very intriguing update from the Single Grrrrrrl today.

When Is Married "Married?"

I got an email from the husband half of a swinging couple. It's not the first time. There have been about 4 or 5 others. And most times, I send an email back explaining that married men are off limits. That I have to take the man's word for it that his wife is ok with things. Once, I asked to meet the husband and wife together and the husband came back with "my wife doesn't like to meet the people I'm going to fuck. I meet all of hers, but she refuses to meet mine." Uh-huh. No thank you. And once, I had a wife contact me and try to "give" me to her husband for an anniversary gift. I don't think so. I'm not some thing to be presented with a big red bow. I'm a person and I have standards and I choose not to be treated as some sort of property.

Anyway, I got an email from a husband. I sent back the email with a "no thank you, you're married" response. And his wife wrote me back. She was funny and gracious and very nice. Her response is the best email I've gotten on that site since I started there.

So me and the wife correspond for a while. She gives me both of their phone numbers and explains the way they feel about each other and about their swinging lifestyle. She says that she can find someone to play with quite easily (she swings both ways), but it's a bit more difficult for her husband. I understand that completely. It seems women are in great demand on that site.

I really like this woman. I love the way she's working so hard to hook up her husband. She sends me pictures. Sweet pictures of them together and him separately. So I agree to meet him for a beer. Friday, after work, I met him in this small bar. We hit it off immediately. Talking kids and lives, his wife and sex. The whole spectrum of topics. I spent 2 hours in the bar with him. It was a very nice meeting. And when I left, he walked me to my car and gave me a hug. Which is the first time any of the men I've met has done that.

I later sent an email to him thanking him for a nice evening and a part of the email was addressed to his wife also, asking if it was ok to call her and get her formal permission to play bedroom games with her husband. The whole situation is..........odd.

I got a 2 part email back. One half from the wife saying to call anytime and repeating her phone number, the other half of the email from the husband saying he enjoyed our meeting too and he thought I was sexy and fun and I needed to quit procrastinating and call his wife so that we could set something up. It was funny, the two of them.

I spoke to the wife for a long time. She's nice and funny and wonderfully sexy. We giggled like old girlfriends. But I think I kind of turned her on too because her husband sent me an email that said she woke him up at 2am for some middle-of-the-night games.

I'm at the point where I have tentatively set up a meet with the husband. And if things are going very well, maybe to bring the wife into the mix or even another man.

My boundaries are expanding farther than I've ever expected them to with this site. I have always been an inflexible person. Black and white on most issues. But sex seems to be one place where I am ok with a lot of gray. With fuzzy lines between what I used to consider right and wrong, good and bad. Which may or may not be a good thing. We shall see.

I'm evil. ;)

Are "couples baby showers" common everywhere, or is it just a Texas epidemic?

I got roped in to helping throw one for a co-worker. The expecting Mom invited 150 people, plus a guest each. Yes, Flowers, that is potentially 300 people at a frikking baby shower!!!! Insanity!!!!!!! And though a few of the hostesses actually DO have homes large enough to accomodate everyone (yes, I'm serious!), we rented a place for the shower.

Ugh.

So.

Night before last, Myyyyyy Preciousssssss rings. I wish I could play Muscles' ring tone for you here, because it is an absolute scream. It's called "Mexican Nut Dance" (look it up on cingular!), and there's whipping sounds and howling. Loves it.

Ok. So.

Muscles calls to tell me his psycho girlfriend has broken up with him for at least the 20th time. I do my usual consoling...."You deserve better.....She doesn't deserve you.....You're so nice, wonderful...." etc etc.... He brings up the couples baby shower.

Yes Flowers, as one of my co-workers, Muscles was invited too.

Now that he expects to be girlfriendless on Friday, he was panicking. "Do I still go? Do you think that would be weird? What do I do? What do I wear?" etc etc etc...

After talking about it for a while, he decides he isn't up to going.

Understandable. I don't want to go either! LOL

Sooooo......he asks me if I would mind buying something for the baby and putting a tag on it that says it is from him. I'm going to see him on Sunday, and he'll pay me back. I'm cool with that.

I begin asking him what he wanted me to do.....baby clothes? A teddy bear? Something from one of her three gift registries? And he hems and haws, and can't decide.

And a thought pops in to my head.....

And I start laughing......and laughing......AND LAUGHING......

I believe his response was something along the lines of "Oh shit!".

I tell him I have the PERFECT gift in mind. He becomes very quiet, which of course makes me laugh even harder. So....I spring it on him.

"A breast pump".

You know Flowers, I sure I wish I could write well enough to fully capture the sheer terror I created in that man.

As I said in the title of this post......I'm evil. ;)

On a side note, how cool is it that the man who used to make me trip and fall and make a complete and utter ass out of myself everytime he even looked at me, now turns to me in times of crisis? I'm his go-to girl, and I really like it!

Knowing him, he will give in to getting back together with the psycho girlfriend by Saturday, but I think I definitely enjoy being his "sub".

*blink*

Oooooooooooooooo!!!!! Double entendre!

*wink wink nudge nudge*

Off to daydream something rather naughty......

;)

PS.
Now he is pimping me out to his friends. I have to buy another baby present and put Muscles' underling's name on it. Too frikking funny!

PSPS.
If you haven't responded to the poll about Single Grrrrl taking a 21 year old's virginity, please read the next post. Heart you, my pretty pretty Flowers!

A question from the Single Girl for my Flowers...

Happy Thursday Flowers! My Single Grrrrrrlfriend could use your input on something she is considering. Please answer her poll or leave your thoughts in the comments. Heart you! xoxoxox -Blondage

So this SingleGrrrl got a very unique offer/opportunity.

There is a young man, 21 years old, attractive, sweet, polite, articulate. He caught my eye when he wrote to me. But when I checked out his profile, it says he has "limited experience." And the things he has listed for things he likes are pretty much limited to oral.

I questioned him on it.

He admitted that he was still a virgin and felt he was ready to lose his virginity and that he fantasizes about older women.

Oh my.

We've emailed back and forth, mostly my end asking him why he's doing things this way.

I'll be calling him this evening to talk about all of this because there are some things easier said than typed, but I wanted to get your opinion.

So I created a poll.

Please help a girl out. And you are more than welcome to comment and add any additional thoughts.


(scroll down for the poll, because for some reason the post won't let Blondage delete all these bloody spaces! Yarrrrrgh!)

	Should I play Mrs. Robinson?
	Danger! Danger, Mrs. Robinson! (No)
	School the young man! (Yes)
	Move cautiously.
	Don't ask me, I can't even decide what color socks to wear in the mornings.

...how I love to hate you....

....sending shivers, make me quiver, feel it sliver, up and down my spine....

Mmmmmmmmmm......loves it.

Who..... or what..... am I thinking about as I belt out "I love to hate you I love to hate you I love to hate you I love to hate you" over and over?

I'll give you a few to guess from.

It might be something personal....

A body that just won't work right?

A love lost?

It might be something political....

A failed presidential candidate asshat who may win the Nobel?

The general pussification of America by serial apologists?

Or maybe I am just on so many fertilty drugs I am out of my fucking mind.

*dances in chair, flips off something...or someone*

Sex and the Single Girl V....

The key to keeping this girl happy and coming back for more is good oral. I need good oral.

I got completely shorted today and I'm sexually frustrated and grumpy right now. I invited a man over to my home. He completely fit the profile of what I'm looking for in terms of body type and all of that. It was kind of a last minute thing since all my other plans fell through, and so I was willing to take a chance with not meeting him before our first sexual encounter.

He came into my house and mmmm-mm-mmmm, did he look yummy. We chit-chatted for a little while and he asked if I have some porn. I do. I put in a movie and laid my legs across his lap on my couch. He started out just pinching my nipples through my shirt and bra. Oh, I can't have that. I took off my shirt and my bra. I had my back to him and when I turned around, he gasped. He has a thing for big nipples. And he liked what he saw. Which turned me on. He took them into his mouth and sucked and nibbled and pinched them hard. I did the same to him because he likes his nipples played with too. He told me that. He pulled out his cock, but he wasn't hard yet.

I went down on him. Took his soft cock in my mouth and sucked and licked on him. It took him a little while to get hard, but when he did, he was impressive. So much so that I wanted to feel him in me right then. I asked him if I could climb up top. He said yes. Once I felt him all the way in, I couldn't help myself. I started riding his cock and threw my head back and enjoyed how it felt. He grabbed my hips and told me to stop or he was going to cum. A second later, he said it was too late to stop, so I kept going and he had his orgasm. It wasn't a long time of fucking and I wanted him to get hard again.

I was kissing and licking all over his body. But not really getting a lot in return. He wasn't very aggressive with me and that was disappointing. I took him in my mouth again, but there on the couch was uncomfortable. I wanted to be able to stretch out, so I took him into my bedroom.

I laid down and he laid his long, lean body beside me. We kissed and he started working over my tits again. I grabbed one of his hands and put it between my legs. I needed to be touched and stimulated in places other than my nipples. He rubbed my clit and I started moaning and biting his shoulders. I guided his hand again so that he slid some fingers into me. I love oral and being penetrated, whether it's fingers, tongue, cock, vibrator, whatever.

I told him I wanted him to fuck me doggy style and I wanted my clit vibe so I could cum. I grabbed the vibe and some lube. I wanted to get him hard again, so I lubed him up, stroked him, and sucked his cock some more. I was really hoping that he would keep playing with my pussy, but he didn't. He just laid back and let me rub a finger on his ass and suck him hard again. He started talking about how he wished he had a cock in his mouth and one in his ass.

Oh my.

I don't know why, but I wasn't expecting that. His profile said "prefers not to say" for his sexual orientation, so I should have gotten a clue and I didn't. He was moaning and talking about that, so I offered to grab my anal vibe. I asked him if he wanted me to use it on him. He seemed a bit unsure, but I showed it to him and it's very slim, and made of a soft gel material. I put lube on it and slowly, so very slowly slid it into his ass while I sucked him some more. I got most of it in and started fucking him faster and faster with it. I didn't turn on the vibrator part because I thought it would be distracting. The whole time, I was waiting for him to do something to ease my sexual needs.

Nothing.

He came in my mouth.

And just laid there for a few minutes.

I started rubbing my pussy. I asked him to help me by fucking me with his fingers, but I wasn't warmed up enough and just ended up faking an orgasm.

I hate faking. I rarely do it. But in this instance, he wasn't giving me much help and I wanted him to leave. I thought he was very selfish. We laid on the bed and chatted for a few minutes and then he left.

I am so frustrated with this encounter. I hope he doesn't call me again. I'm going to have to come up with some excuse as to why I can't meet him. On top of everything else, while we were chatting afterwards, he mentions that he's kind of seeing someone. Like seeing-seeing someone. From his little town. And she's getting a divorce and he's not having sex with her so that they don't jeopardize her divorce. That is just wrong. He did not mention any of this before hand. His profile says he is divorced. I'm not into men who have girlfriends or who are married. I don't like the strings that come attached with that situation and I was not happy to hear that.

What kind of rating did this encounter get?

A big fat zero. Nothing. I'm mad that this man had two orgasms and I had to fake one!! I'm mad that he withheld pertinent information. I'm just mad. Oh. And frustrated. Very sexually frustrated.

I Need Oral! NOW!

Gentlemen, a word to the wise here from a woman's perspective. If you are going to be selfish in bed, you are going to have a series of one night stands because no woman will invite you back. It is ok to let yourself be spoiled. It is ok to take and enjoy the experience, but that is mostly for later, after you get comfortable with each other. After you have established some sort of relationship where it is ok with either party to accept pleasure without having to reciprocate. If you choose to do this on the first meeting, you are an ass. A selfish, uncouth, and not-a-good-lover ass!!

Blondage says......YIKES! Uhm..... YIKES!!! I think I'll cower over here behind the bondage furniture until someone takes care of Single Grrrrrl. Any volunteers? Leave her a comment. LOL

The Baby Project

Wellllll......

I asked my doctor point blank if we had a chance....

....and she said yes.

We have a bunch of obstacles. Three of them, to be exact.

But.....with the help of tons and tons of medicine (ugh), there's a chance....

So.....

We're going for it.

Thanks for all the emails and prayers. We both really, really appreciate the support.

xoxoxoxo

D-Day

My husband will be at my office in about half an hour to take me to the doctor. We're getting my test results today. Within about an hour, I should know if this doctor can help us get pregnant or not.

I thought I'd be scared, but I am pretty even at the moment. I was definitely scared last night. Couldn't sleep. Ugh. Maybe that is part of the reason why I am so calm right now. I am just too tired to freak out? I dunno.

Flowers, I'd be most grateful if you would please say a wee prayer for us.

xoxoxoxo

Sex and the Single Girl IV...

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