M-m-m-m-muscles!!!!

Scene: My place of business, at closing time

evilicious Blondage: *realizes in order to go home, there is no way to avoid walking past "Muscles"*

Muscles: *standing in a doorway, looking huge*

eB: *waits until Muscles seems occupied to make a run for it*

Muscles: *reaches out and grabs eB by the hair*

eB: *yelps*

Muscles: *says in a stern voice* STAY!

eB: *gulps*

Muscles: *arches a brow* What's wrong?

eB: I'm sick. *sneezes*

Muscles: You know what I do when I'm sick?

eB: I can't imagine. *sneezes*

Muscles: I go see my gynecologist.

eB: ..........?

Muscles: *grinning*

eB: ...................?

Muscles: *flexes* I used to do her. She likes writing me prescriptions.

eB: *rolls eyes, laughs*

We chit chat a bit, I kind of zone out, and snap to in the middle of a conversation, completely lost.

Muscles: .......makes my tongue go numb.

eB: *blink* Huh? Numb?

Muscles: You know, when it mixes.

eB: *blank blonde stare* .......?

Muscles: The fluids. You know, afterwards!

eB: Uhhhhhmmmm..... The what? Huh?

Muscles: I like to fingerpaint with it.

eB: WTF?

Muscles: *blue eyes twinkling at me* It makes my tongue numb.

eB: Your tongue gets tired?

Muscles: My tongue never gets tired.

eB: *confused* I feel so blonde.

Muscles: *laughs and sighs* After sex, I like to fingerpaint with our juices and lick it off. With that one girl, it always made my mouth go numb. I liked it.

eB: *blink*

Muscles: It only happened with her. Might have been because she was such a cold bitch.....

eB: *speechless*

Friday music Obsession -- Radiohead

Can't. Stop. Listening. To. Radiohead. Today....

Live version of "Creep"

...I don't care if it hurts....I want to have control....

....I want you to notice....when I'm not around....you're so fucking special....I wish I was special....



Acoustic "My Iron Lung"

.....We're too young to fall asleep...too cynical to speak....We are losing it....can't you tell?



Live version of "Fake Plastic Trees"

......she looks like the real thing....she tastes like the real thing....my fake plastic love....But I can't help the feeling....I could blow through the ceiling....if I could just turn and run...



Happy Friday Flowers!

Happy HNT!

Anyone feel like taking my temperature???

*purrrrrr*

Storm Large.....oh how I want her.....

Love the song, love the look, love the stage dive........

This woman makes me tingly.

LAME!

A couple posts ago I mentioned having recently named a goldfish Fluffy.

B Slider and I bought that cute little bugger for my Dad for Father's Day. His Koi pond had recently been turned upside by a neighborhood thug (a racoon) and several of his babies (he'd had them for three years!) were M.I.A.

I called Dad Sunday to tell him about BDS' truck, and per my usual, I asked about Fluffy and Spike (the other little cutie we gave him). He said they were happy little piggies, after a bit of a pause.

Well.

Now I know why he paused.

He couldn't stand the idea of telling me that Fluffy had been MURDERED!

*sob*

That cute little baby was some mangy rabid bastard's dinner!

Dad found the evidence (a puddle and some messed up shrubs) last Friday and called out to my Mom. They grabbed a flashlight and went looking for the beastie. They found the racoon, who apparently has an ass the size of Brazil, and threw a brick at it. The frikkin terrorist didn't even FLINCH.

BDS, you'd better lock up the frikkin shotguns.

I am declaring a fucking Jihad!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday Gratuitous Boobage and a wee correction...

A few more from last week's drunken HNT pic shoot.... ;)





And Oh. By the way.

Sooooo.......the new baby isn't a Tacoma, it's a Tundra.

"It's a Tundra. Def Def Definitely a Tundra. Not a pussy Tacoma. Tundra BIGGER! Tundra BADASS!"

Oi.

New edition!

After several agonizing weeks of listening to B Slider channel "Rain Man" (def def definitely 0% financing, 0% financing), I caved. I gave in to the call of the new vehicle.

Please meet our new baby.

This is just a camera phone pic. I suspect hub will have better ones on his site by tomorrow night. She is a 2006 Toyota Tacoma. At least, I think she is a she. We haven't popped the hood yet. *grin*

I need to pick out a name. I nickname or rename everyone and everything important to me. Some of my recent triumphs -- I have a Marine friend I call "Tulip", a Dom friend I call "Pooh Bear" and I recently named a goldfish "Fluffy".

*giggling*

I am a big believer in the non-sensical.

Our future children are going to have some "Mommy issues". heheheheheheeee

I hope you all had a great weekend!

I am off to collect on my "If you buy this beast, I get oral for at least two hours" demand. Wooo!

I heart you, my pretty pretty Flowers!

Various thingies

Well damn. Lots happening! I wish I had time to write it all down!

** My next door neighbor/trainer/chick-that-I-made-out-with-and-lust-after had to quit working at the gym! Her hub found out she was making out with the head trainer (a man!) in the back office. DOH! He forgave her, sort of. She told me she is now putting out a minimum of five times a day. He basically told her he is going to keep her too tired to stray! LOL!

** I've had some fascinating conversations with "Muscles" . First, let me say this. I really do like the guy. He is quite likeable really. Ok, that being said... He told me when he goes out to eat or to a bar, if his server/waitress is really good, he will hug her as part of her tip. SERIOUSLY!!!!! LMFAO!!!! Part of his charm is his almost EXTREME self confidence. It is vastly amusing. It is also worth noting that since I have gotten to know him better, I have stopped tripping and walking in to walls when I see him. Today when he stopped by to see me, I even spoke in complete sentences. Miraculous!

I wish I had more time to blog.

I heart you, my pretty pretty Flowers.

Email me!

evblnd at gmail dot com

Storm Large........

Oh my god. This woman...

*purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

The things she does to that mike stand........

*purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

I even like the funny "sex" faces she makes when she sings......

I want her. Oh my yes. I do indeed.

Blurry Hallph Nakkkid Fursday....

Drrrrrrrrrrrunk!

*hiccup*

Yes, that's my favvvvvvvvorite vibe in between myyyy.............

*gigggggggggggling*

Happpppppppy Hallph Nakkkkkkid Furrrrrrrsday!

I'm ready for sex now please.

Classic.

The porno of Evilicious Blonde's life will be called ... "Marquis De Sade - 90s Style" 'What will the porno of your life be called?' at QuizUniverse.com

LMAO!!!!! Snitched this one from LL.....

Must see TV!

My Blogfather, Colby "CBFTW" Buzzell, is going to be on C-Span tonight!!!!!!

Click here for details!

Mmmmm.....branded again.....*purrrrr*.....

This "virtual tattoo" is courtesy of the simply divine Tragic.

BDS and I have major crushes on her. *grin*

I am soooooo loving this feature. *giggling* Thank you Irish Diablo! *smooch*

If you feel like branding my boobs, play around with one of my pics and email it to me at evblnd at gmail dot com.

Also, thank you Melanaise for making my slightly insane other half and me your TGIeffIT Blogs of the day. Wooooo!!!!

Love you, my darling Flowers....

Branded by the devil!!!!

"Tattoo" courtesy of Irish Diablo.

*giggling*

Anyone else wanna brand my boobs? Photo shop me a present and send it my way!!!!!

When I think about you I touch myself.....

I had a wonnnnnnderful day off work today. I slept late, goofed off, got caught up on my Tivo'd shows, played with the dog......and did a lot of this:

I heart you, my pretty pretty Flowers....

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

I'm working late tonight, so I am posting my HNT pics early. Happy HNT all!!!!

Whoa!

HOLY MERDE!!!!!! I ran in to the guy I lost my virginity to today!!!!

Go away or I shall taunt you a second time.....

*giggling like a maniac*

Disturbing concert experience....

Wow.

I have seen at least a thousand concerts in my life, and I have NEVER seen anything as sad and disturbing as the Fiona Apple concert we saw last night.

Where do I start.

How about with an impersonation???

*grunt, flail, rock-back-and-forth* "I hate men. I hate men. I hate men. My boyfriend cheated on me. I hate men." *flop, fling, stomp*

BDS and I walked out to the seating area and Fiona, aka The Third Olson Twin, was shrieking at the top of her lungs. Literally SHRIEKING! We sat down, and she continued to shriek and yell through the entire song. We were stunned!

Her voice, that I used to dearly love, barely resembles what you will hear if you click on any of the videos in the post below.

She used to sound sexy and kinda smokey. Now it sounds like she has blown her voice. When she tries to belt, she sounds like she is doing a Joe Cocker impersonation.

Perhaps it is all that shrieking...

At one point she was playing piano and leaned over and spit on stage. GROSS!

Then she sat in the center of the stage, curled up in a ball, and rocked back and forth like a crack addict in need of a fix.

She kept making all these weird noises and grunts. People were literally LAUGHING and leaving in droves. It was the most pitiful thing I have ever seen.

I don't know if it was drugs or booze, but Girlfriend needs an intervention.

I've been a bad baaaaad girl.....

Mmmmm.....Fiona Apple is skinnier than I usually like, but I would soooooo do her pouty-lipped boney-ass......especially if she sang to me.......

I hope she does this song, "Criminal", tonight. *purrrrrr*



MMmmmmm....."Sleep to Dream".....



....and one of my all time favorite songs, "Never is a promise"....



Her voice and her lips just melt me in to a puddle......

Hi Sean!

Today's cleavage shot is dedicated to Sean, the Doc in a box!

Sean is currently deployed. I talked to him today on IM for a half hour or so. How frikkin cool is THAT??? Technology just amazes me. The man is in a war zone, and I was able to chat with him while he was in an internet cafe. It kinda made my head spin.

To quote one of my other favorite bloggers....just damn!!!!

Go visit Sean and say hi, and wish him and his lovely bride, THE coolest couple on the planet, well.

Love you, my pretty pretty Flowers!

TGIF Gratuitous Boobage!

.....blurry camera-phone cleavage.....LOL

Happy Friday!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

This bikini is teeny!!!!

A little red white and blue fun with body paint. This stuff is GOOEY! It melts after is has been on your skin for more than a minute. I was covered in this stuff from head to toe. Literally. It's pretty fun when it gets licked off though....woooooo!

I hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July. :)

My face, my boobs, my song, my mood....

I'm kinda tipsy...listening to the pops and crackles of fireworks bouncing around my neighborhood.

I feel like showing you my face for some reason. Granted, I photo shopped this pic to death to help hide my identity a wee bit, but it's me. This expression and the dark treatment to the pic suit my mood.

Gratuitous Boobage. I took this a couple days ago with the camera phone, so the quality is so-so, but I still kinda dig it.



This is sooooooo my song right now.

"Black" (Pearl Jam), performed by Staind in the video below....

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything.
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be...


*shiver*

That sounds so damn good.......

Anyways.

I tell ya, I am in a dark place right now. I'm really frikkin sad. And no, it is not a hormone thing.

When I go in to the occasional "funk", I tend to pop right back out of it. But...I'm emotionally and physically drained. I can't seem to do that magical little pop thing.

I think it's probably a combination of a lot of things, but primarily this awful sense of loss combined with a sense of dread.....a lot of bad stuff happened last week, and I just have this feeling I am heading for more heart break. *sigh* Maybe I should change my nickname to Black Cloud.

(Wow. Made myself smile.)

I'm typing this, thinking to myself, damn girl, you're a SEX blog, act like one!

Hmmmm.......write something about sex....

Oh! I thought of something you don't know.

I love having a finger in my ass when hub is going down on me. I cum sooooo much harder that way.

There.

That's better, huh?

Maybe I should go listen to the naughty hedgehogs for the millionth time.

Axe wound.

Damn. I'm in a strange place.

Happy Monday!

I was going through pics today and found this one. I took it for HNT ages ago and never got around to posting it. Here's some Stripper-esque Gratuitous Boobage for this fine Monday....




Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments, birthday wishes, hugs, kisses and spanks. I especially enjoyed the spanks. *giggling*

After I got off *insert Beavis and Butthead laugh* work last night, we went to see the Black Crowes. I wasn't that in to them before I saw them live. Holy merde. They were SO GOOD! Chris Robinson's voice kept giving me goosebumps. That dude can wail! This was my favorite song that they did....



Have a fabulous day, my pretty pretty Flowers.... Muah!

A little shout out to my pervy new friends....*snicker*

The infamous naughty Hedgehogs...

And since I haven't done Gratuitous Boobage in a while...and I am feeling naughty on my birthday.....*wicked grin*....

It's my Birthday!

I'm ready for my spankings!!!!

*bends over and shakes ass*

Come and get me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my favorite present from B Slider .

I am nicknaming her "The Beast".

*giggling*

She rocks. I heart Coach bags....

Have a fabulous weekend, my pretty pretty Flowers....