The next school shooters will just carry an extra melee weapon to swat down the drones.

I couldn’t possibly imagine a relationship with a 26-year-old.

“Violence may not always be the answer, but it’s always an answer.” - Me, but I probably stole it from someone.

Based on the level of thought and effort that went into his messaging, I’d bet this guy got diagnosed with colon cancer and he’s correlating it with the time(s) he fucked his dog that also had colon cancer.

Unfortunately, retirement accounts typically dont give you the choice.

That would explain the $2000 loss on my retirement account balance this month.

my usage decreased to 0% and my score went up 10 points this month to 799.

Disappointed I didn’t make the list. How many cocktails do I need to Molotov to get the recognition I deserve?

The placement of the gun on the left makes this look like a problem that’ll solve itself.

Are the antifas in the room with us now?

Try pasting commands into code blocks.

Everyone complaining about their tax dollars paying for these programs seem to have no problem with their tax dollars subsidizing these companies’ payrolls.

Pirate, then donate to a trans-friendly charity what the books would have cost.

Here I was thinking the elf was getting a vasectomy until i saw Labor and Delivery

I have bad news for you about modern cars.

is that clown wearing the scalp of another clown?

For comparison, if you were hosting some kind of platform or service that only has a 99% uptime, you’d have to pay people to use it.

Of course it’s Jesse Waters.

But he’s right (gag) that a whole bunch of people will go on it that don’t need it. I’m already seeing a bunch excited that they’re going to “get huge.” And yes, sexual assault and domestic violence are going to skyrocket but there’s nothing about it to laugh at.

That was kind of the plot of the movie

Imagine further if Obama posted this with the sole intent of fixing the outcome of a bet he made on a “prediction market” he had a personal vested interest in.