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ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlBannedBanned from community to Lemmy ShitpostEnglish · 4 months ago

do I accept?

lemmy.ml

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do I accept?

lemmy.ml

ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlBannedBanned from community to Lemmy ShitpostEnglish · 4 months ago
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  • Twinklebreeze
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    4 months ago

    Do you think you could perform in front of either of the Obamas? I know I couldn’t.

    • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus
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      4 months ago

      I’ll whisper right in Obama’s ear as I cream on his back “this is how you dispose of bus loads of kids,” then I’d smack the back of his head.

      • Soulphite@reddthat.com
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        4 months ago

        This is both the best and disturbing thing I’ve read in some time, well done!

        God dammit.

      • baatliwala
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        4 months ago

        • 5ha99y@lemmus.org
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          2 months ago

      • errer
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        4 months ago

        Jesus fucking Christ

      • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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        4 months ago

        On the back, belly, face, etc always seemed like a waste of good cum to me. Like, if it’s not being absorbed by mucus membranes somewhere, then are you really living?

      • AngryDeuce
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        4 months ago

      • chunes
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        4 months ago

        LMAO. Lemmy comment of the year right here.

      • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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        4 months ago

        deleted by creator

    • oyfrog
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      4 months ago

      Perform what though?

      • endlesseden@pyfedi.deep-rose.org
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        4 months ago

        Under Pressure, clearly

        • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip
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          4 months ago

          💀

        • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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          4 months ago

          Pressure

          Pushing down on me

          Pressing down on you

        • maccentric@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          I can fake the drums; hardest part will be finding a vocalist the vocalists

      • AnchoriteMagus
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        4 months ago

        King Lear.

        It’s only the first act, though. You’ll be fine.

      • wuffah
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        4 months ago

        Perform vaginal sex upon Mrs. Obama as Mr. Obama pumps his fist and chants “Yes we can!”

  • zeejoo@thelemmy.club
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    4 months ago

  • wuffah
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    4 months ago

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    4 months ago

    Y’all think you’re gonna bang Michelle while Barack watches but it’s really gonna be Barack banging YOU while Michelle watches.

    • FishFace@piefed.social
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      4 months ago

      Is that really so bad?

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        4 months ago

        No. In fact, that makes it better imo.

    • TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      In this room with two dicks, I’m not the one with two holes…

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        4 months ago

        “I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream”

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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    4 months ago

    I find Michelle to be attractive, so I’d say yes. Unless Mr. Obama is also looking to get freaky, then probably no.

    • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlBannedBanned from communityOP
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      4 months ago

      Personally there are exactly 0 US presidents I’d fuck. They do not deserve sex imo

      • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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        4 months ago

        Oh yeah??? So you’re telling me if we did a comprehensive review of your comments we wouldn’t find any instance of you saying “fuck [president’s name]”???

        Checkmate, gottem, I rest my case.

        • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlBannedBanned from communityOP
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          4 months ago

          you got me

      • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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        4 months ago

        James Garfield was kind of good looking, I might bottom for him.

        • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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          4 months ago

          Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the hat

          • reev@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the beard

      • starik@lemmy.zipdeleted by creatorBanned from community
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        4 months ago

        This is why we needed Kamala

    • AnchoriteMagus
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      4 months ago

      He just wants to watch.

      • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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        4 months ago

        Oh, that’s okay then.

  • DoubleDongle
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    4 months ago

    Would. Both of them.

    • Okokimup
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      4 months ago

      Some experiences are just so crazy, you have to say yes, given the opportunity, so that freakiness can be born into the universe through you.

      • Burninator05
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        4 months ago

        You’re not going to not take the Obamas up on a threesome. That kind of opportunity doesn’t knock twice.

    • starik@lemmy.zipdeleted by creatorBanned from community
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      4 months ago

      Careful before you commit; we haven’t seen them in a while.

  • m3t00🌎@piefed.world
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    4 months ago

    go for the weed w/presidential seal. 🎡

  • shweddy
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    4 months ago

    When others go low I get high with the obamas

  • Evil Kitty@europe.pub
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    4 months ago

    Do not accept, he only offers 420 do not accept anything less than 69420

    • Rakudjo
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      4 months ago

      Wait, he offered you 69420? I got offered 42069, and took it because it seemed like a pretty good deal. Now I have ragrets.

      • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
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        4 months ago

        Depends on the use case. If thousands get separated, 69,420 looks nicer. If you want a port number, only 42069 is valid.

  • realitista@lemmus.org
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    4 months ago

    Opportunity of a lifetime.

  • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 months ago

    I am so tired of political spam texts. Now they’re political spam sexts.

  • Cellari
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    4 months ago

    What a nice polite man!

  • Korne127
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    4 months ago

    yes!

  • melfie@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    At least there would be more eye witnesses to help debunk Joan Rivers’ conspiracy theory.

    • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Seeing Michelle dancing to that Bruno Mars song on the Ellen show was, um, nuts.

  • OrteilGenou
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    4 months ago

    Hit it and STOP it

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