Man, you people need to learn how to meme…

This is an ARM free zone, you’re not allowed to have arms…

How the fuck you gonna have hands if you don’t have arms? Duh…

Edit: Yes I’m an idiot, but I don’t type in WASD…

What the fuck are you talking about? Have you ever even tested your parking brake?

I have, because of said emergency situation. Guess what?

One wheel ALWAYS locks up and slides on the road, because parking brake is NOT an emergency brake, and does not implement the antilock brake system.

Wherever the fuck they taught you to drive as if the parking brake is supposedly an emergency brake, well they taught you how to slip and slide your vehicle off the road.

Parking brake is intended to keep the vehicle from rolling downhill, particularly when on a steep hill and/or when towing a trailer. NOT meant as a mainline brake! That shit is fucking dangerous as fuck when used while actually driving!

Whoever the fuck taught you to drive needs to lose their driver’s ed license, cuz that’s straight up fucked up, even in redneck world.

If your brake booster goes out, you’re safer just jamming both feet on the brake pedal with full force. Now on the other hand, if someone cut one of your hydraulic brake lines, well that’s a totally different problem. In that case I’d carefully utilize the parking brake, and then go find and beat the ever loving shit out of the person that cut my hydraulic brake line…

Wait, this is supposedly ‘new’ ?

Fuck, back around 1995, our school system was half obsessed with looking at our junk.

We had a time limit of 4 minutes to not only walk from one class to the next, but also to piss and shit, within 4 minutes…

I refused to participate in gym class because of that.

They were literally obsessed with limiting the timing of the evacuation of our bladders and bowels…

You chucklefuck, it’s not even called an emergency brake, it’s called a parking brake.

Figured I’d find fools like you.

The parking brake is meant to help hold the vehicle in place when parked on a hill…

Guess what? I found the OG module from GMC. It’s located right under the radio, just to the left of the not one but three 12 volt sockets, right next to the ashtray. The fella that asked Google Gemini actually found me the answer, while people were giving him/her shit.

My fix is still safer than the OG GMC flasher module installed within less than two inches of three 12 volt sockets.

At least my bodge fix is a circuit breaker, not a circuit maker, and is installed more than a foot away from any ground or hot points.

I found the OG flasher module today. Guess where it is…

It’s like 2 inches to the left from the not one but three 12 volt sockets under the dash and radio by the ashtray area.

Yeah, as much as I loathe AI, the fella that asked Google Gemini actually found me a correct answer as to the location of the part. And people gave the fella shit. 😞

With that now located, I still trust my own fix over the OG module sitting a mere inch or two by three hot 12V sockets. At least my fix is like a foot away from any hot or ground points. GMC original flasher is like less than 2 inches away from hot or ground. Sad, my fix is actually safer than their original design.

Guess what? Despite the fact that I loathe AI, it turns out that’s exactly where the OG flasher is installed.

I’ll fix it properly in the next day or three. I got the right part, just didn’t know where it went…

The original flasher module, wherever the hell it is, used to work, but has never once made a sound, and now it’s failed where the blinkers will otherwise just stay on. So, this is my solution for now, until I can figure out where it actually is.

I’ve heard that within this family line of trucks, it could be in any one of these 4 locations…

• Under the dash under the steering column
• Under the dash by the ashtray/cigarette lighter
• Under the dash way back beside the emergency brake pedal
• Under the hood near/under the main power distribution block

Still no dice, I’ve checked all 4 of these places. 🤷‍♂️

Oh, also, side note, our emergency flasher button is completely broke out of our steering column, so short of getting a whole new steering column, we don’t have emergency flashers, but at least my fix for the regular blinker flasher works.

LOL, I learned that sitting at a campfire back when I was only 12. I usually save it for Halloween, but it seemed fitting to post it here.

Sorry, not sorry…

Disclaimer: I did not write this, it’s a meme before the word meme became a thing…

• I fucked an old woman in the graveyard, God bless her old soul she was dead.
• Maggots crawled out of her asshole, and hairs fell out of her head.
• After the ordeal was over, I felt I had committed a sin.
• So out of my pocket I drew a straw, and sucked out the load I shot in.

You spelled shitting wrong…

Ya know what, for shits and giggles, I decided to go ahead and read over the AI slop. It actually is describing one of 3 possible expected locations of the module on this family line of trucks, but I’ve already checked all 3 expected locations and haven’t had any luck finding the OG flasher module so far.

When we first got the truck back running back in April, the flashers actually did work, but somewhere along the way they just stopped flashing and stayed stuck on. Now, this part of the AI instructions gave me a good chuckle…

If your hazard flasher still works, turn it on while listening under the dash to quickly pinpoint the exact relay cluster by ear

LMFAO! Even when the flashers did work, it never made any sound whatsoever!

This truck has a rather interesting history, to say the least. I’m inclined to think the ‘original’ flasher module isn’t even original itself, and just might have been replaced with some sort of digital flasher that doesn’t make any sound. I dunno man, but this truck has had numerous modifications from previous owners, and I’m still sorting stuff out, with almost no expectations and gradually learning what the hell is what.

And the previous owner is unfortunately now deceased, so I can’t exactly ask him what all got modified, I’m finding this stuff out for myself. And it’s too damn hot lately to keep going out chasing wild geese to find this otherwise simple module, so for now this is what I’m working with and keeps the truck effectively road legal.

I’ll find that damn module someday, eventually…

There is literally absolutely no metal anywhere even remotely near the contacts. Up, down, left, right, front and back, everything around is plastic, which is an insulator.

You’d deliberately have to try to short it out with a 2 foot long screwdriver plus activate the flasher arm at the same time for anything bad to happen.

And by the way, I never use electrical tape, I use heatshrink/thermalfit tubing. Would it please you if I put some heatshrink over the yellow connectors?

Honestly though, I ain’t the least bit worried about it, it works fine and has nothing anywhere nearby to short out with. Plus, with the fuse panel cover put back on, it can’t even move, so that’s not a worry either.

Pics or it didn’t happen…

LMFAO just at the thought though 👍

You go right ahead with that train of thought.

You ever had your brake booster diaphragm bust while you’re driving?

Probably not, but I have. You know what happens? That brake pedal is gonna kick back with full force, and it’ll take either both of your feet and/or the emergency parking brake to slow/stop the vehicle.

Of course not ideal, but if shit goes wrong on the road, you should absolutely already be prepared in your own mind as to alternate ways to slow/stop your vehicle.

Just don’t ask how we activate the radio and windshield wipers…

Something something dome light toggle switch…

Fair enough, gotcha 👍

If I do bother with that, I’ll just solder a proper 15 amp fuse directly inline with the bodge fix.

At least I made sure it’s got an easy undo, just pull the bodge out and drop a fuse back in, whenever I manage to locate the original flasher module…

Why does everyone seem to assume that every circuit is gonna outright short out?

Fuck, it had a 30 amp fuse in it, when it only called for a 15 amp. At least my bodge fix is literally a circuit breaker.

Yes, I’m well aware of how electricity works, and I’m aware of the potential dangers.

Look at the fuse block we inherited, almost every single fuse was bumped up to a 30 amp. The flasher circuit only calls for a 15 amp fuse, so if anything, I trust my rigup more than the overrated 30 amp fuse that was in there. At least the function of a flasher module is to break the circuit.

Also, to flash or not to flash…

Police and ICE agents have tasers that deliver like 30KV or so, so you know what, I’ll take my success with this ~12 volt rigup.

If I ever do find the OG flasher module, well I’ll just replace that and drop in a proper 15 amp fuse where my rigup is currently installed.

The lights would burn out first if anything happens to go wrong.

Everything working fine right now, minus the emergency flasher button, but that’ll require a whole new steering column to fix the emergency flasher.

It works, and keeps the cops off our ass…