Bubble boy bounces back

The Lefsetz Music analysis letter had taken a fairly roboust view of the Cartel stunt (they're the band making a record in a big bubble). Despite the claims that they'd only have "limited" contact with outside world, singer Will Pugh has responded with a very, very long justification:

See, we only have one record. We’re about to record our 2nd. People don’t really know us from any other band on the radio or mtv. All that is about to change. This bubble shit is stirring up all kinds of dust around the music world. Its something people find ridiculous. People think we’re crazy, sellouts, whores and everything else negative they can think of. Some people see it as cool. (I would venture to say that most of these people don’t have their head up their asses about music in the sense that they don’t think they are the definitive source on music knowledge or "what’s wrong with the industry"). The big point is that people who have never heard of us are hearing about us now. I know that great bands get out there some way…..but how long does that take. Even the upstarts from left field don’t have a career long enough to even call them road tested…..shit, some of them have played less than 100 shows ever by the time they "make it".

[...]

This marketing scheme shows the world that we are a real band with real inspiration and real songs. Not some american idol winner or a label lottery contestant. People get to see us do what we do under intense pressure and scrutiny and still hit a fucking grand slam while in the meantime people in your position are hating like there’s no tomorrow on a band that they know little to nothing about.

No, Will, it doesn't show you to be anything of the sort - because, at the end of the stunt, you're going to be "the bubble band boys". Whatever else you do. You may be great artists, but when desire for fame persuades you to put on a silly wig, a pair of outsized comedy glasses and repeat catchphrases, that's what you become. That's what you are now.

Pugh then goes on to have a go at what I suspect only severe self control spared him from labeling "h8ers and hipsters":

Popular music is still the standard. Every legendary artist is the most popular at what they do and have accrued many platinum records……why? Because millions of people like their music….not the 500k or so indie kids who are too busy sucking their thumbs to realize that a really good band is being passed by because they "soldout".

Although the time sits heavily on his hands, he hasn't found time to think this through: "every legendary artist is the most popular at what they do" - really? So, then, Eric Clapton isn't a legend, as he's sold fewer records than McCartney? And someone like Ivor Cutler doesn't count as a legend at all on this scale because he's not sold many records. We've argued before that simply selling records doesn't really mean that you're the best liked artist - it just means that you're quite liked by a lot of people; it certainly is no guarantor of quality or of depth of inspiration you provide to others. A simple glance at the charts any week should have alerted Pugh to this fact.

Ah, but he has a rejoinder:

Call this my manifesto but for one I’m sick of all the ninnies running around acting like they know anything about what it takes to create music. To all of them and you I ask……where’s your albums?

Well, I might not have made any records. But neither have I pissed away weeks of my life like some Victorian fairground curiosity in a big bubble making a record.

What Cartel are doing is not about trying to make a recording which will resonate with people; they're trying to sell records. It's possibly no less a noble aim, but Mr. Pugh, you are making an exhibition of yourself in the name of commerce, not art.

Cartel: Next up, it'll be a baby with a baboon heart on bass

If you can't fight, my Mum used to say, wear a big hat. This, loosely translated into music terms, is "if you're a bit rubbish, come up with a big gimmick."

Meet Cartel. They're recording their second album in a giant bubble on Pier 54 in New York. They think it's about them, but it's actually a bid to try and persuade people to buy Dr Pepper, which is sponsoring the event. Dr Pepper's advertising used to be built around the question "what's the worst thing that could happen", illustrated by people getting caught in terrible, embarrassing, public situations. We can see how being in a third-string emo act making a record in a big bubble like some sort of de-evolved zoo monkeys could fit with that message.

Still, let's not forget there are real people involved here, real people, with real emotions and almost half a clue between them. William Pugh has been explaining why they're doing this to USA Today:

"This is just a bigger microscope — a crazy whirlwind in a fishbowl. We're preparing ourselves mentally for the worst, but I don't think we'll have time to freak out. Our goal is to create a good record."

A microscope that's a whirlwind - a crazy one - in a fishbowl. And that's the perfect way to create a "good record", is it? Rather than working on songs in a rehearsal room, then moving into a studio to record them?

The band, of course, will be cut off. Sort of:

"They're going to take away TV and most outside communication," he says. "We'll have limited cellphone and Internet usage."

Goodness. Limited internet. It'll be like being in Portugal or something. Or in an office where they limit your internet. Almost unthinkable, isn't it?

Pugh says the stunt bubble "is the best thing to ever happen to us. A platform this big can show the world that real bands still exist. There's no outside producer, no hidden magic, just us writing and recording. It beats the heck out of being in college."

Yes, it must be better than going to college, although it's hard to imagine your teachers are going to miss your contributions over much.

I'm not sure having a group of bouncing hormones sealed in a large weather balloon really does convince me that "real bands still exist" - when did real bands need stunts to draw attention to their work?

The person behind this - and her official job title doesn't include the word "Evil", so let's assume she really does think she's doing Cartel, and the world, a favour, explains more:

"The first hurdle was getting everyone comfortable with something that doesn't fit in the traditional marketing bucket," says Eleanor McDonald of MEC Entertainment, which cast a wide net to find a band with keen skills, telegenic personality and potential for drama. "This is a real band. Nothing is artificial or staged."

Nothing is artificial or staged. Which would mean that even if Dr Peppers hadn't ponyed up the cash, this band would still have been making a record in a giant sphere on Pier 54, then.

Still, good to discover that there is still, apparently, a "traditional marketing bucket". We feel the stirrings in our lower stomach that suggests we're about to fill one.