"you smile like chinese!"

here's a shorty.

so last friday late afternoon i'm running into the cougareat to fill my stomach with sweet wholesome goodness before my genetics test and it dawns on me that this is not a subway night; this is a teriyaki stix night.

i have sworn off their curry after tasting a much better version on my last trip home, so as i stared at the menu, feeling pressure from and struggling to concentrate over the loud gum-smacking of the skinny girl behind the register, i asked, "how's the orange chicken?"

smack smack "well, it's GOOD," smack "but it's no panda express!"

"i'll have the kalua pork."

i hate panda express.

here's the thing. that night after leaving another carbon-copy dance party busted by the cops, i got a little hungry, which i haven't felt since coming to college. there are very real things out there which are grossly misrepresented by BYU. i started getting pretty stoked to hit peru this summer and see what it has to offer. started feeling a little outgrown.

so i called up a chinese kid named colin i met in hawaii, lamented a little about my mediocre hawaiian dish from a japanese chain that serves mostly chinese food, and we talked about uplifting things. smart kid.

here's a little confucian advice.

"A man should choose a friend who is better than himself. there are plenty of acquantainces in the world, but very few friends."

zai jian yall

Funny and true commentary on our generation

A video clip from a Conan O'Brien show from a couple of nights ago. Some painfully true comments about our generation.

Watch more SpikedHumor videos on AOL Video

Flintstone Table

I recently cleaned up the garage. Not just a broom trail down the middle but a thorough reorganization with nothing left sitting on the floor. As a present to myself I decided I needed a workbench. Not willing to pay Home Depot's price I went online and carefully studied several simple "Do-It-Yourself" plans, i.e., garage benching for idiots. They all looked pretty difficult so I scrapped them and drafted up my own materials list using a blueprint stuck in my head from my kindergarten woodworking class. It seemed about right.

Off to Lowe's. I had a $10 coupon so Home Depot didn't get a piece of this project. Too bad for them and wonderful for Lowe's since the price of the materials pushed $200. That means my discount was 5% for all you math whizzes and whizzettes. The net discount was even less since I got all the way home and found the coupon still in my pocket. Back to Lowes (gas $1.79/gallon) to beg the manager to honor the coupon which he was happy to do when I mentioned the price of a finished table at the other store -- uncomfortably close to the cost of the raw materials.

Rushed home and got out my tools. No hurry as it turned out. Took all week (sorry clients) but here is the masterpiece in all its unvarnished glory made completely with Black & Decker cordless guy stuff (11 battery charges to make the cuts and drill holes and tap screws -- if you must know).

This first one is the front view. I know it doesn't look expensive but the legs alone were very pricy since those 4x4 posts are cedar heartwood. I am not picky -- that was all they had and I felt too lazy to check out another store. Those legs despite their price look pretty primitive but I'll never have termites.



These next two pictures show some corner detail, top and bottom. Very precise workmanship. Sometimes it took two or three cuts before I got it just right -- translation: gave up.





I think the fit of that bottom shelf is especially noteworthy. Looks like Fred got some help from Barney on that one. Finally, the wheels. These actually work because I bought them assembled. No chance for me to screw it up. The blue paint from the factory cut on the plywood is a nice touch. That is the only side of the shelf I didn't cut three times.



Big assist from Christine who was there every step of the way and got to operate the cordless drill. Austin was there in spirit, and Marleen refrained from derogatory comments for the most part. I consider this project part of my honey-do list (added it myself then crossed it off) but that is not a unanimous opinion.

Christmas Story in February

I got home late and cranky the other night, walked right past dinner and into my study, where I saw an unmarked package sitting on my table. The return address said Byron and Marci, so I knew it must be good.

I rushed back into the kitchen and announced that it must be a Major Award, even though it had no mysterious foreign writing on the box. Byron must have returned early from the South Pole to mail it.

The first thing in Marci's note was an apology that it wasn't a Major Award. Undeterred and ignoring all Homeland Security warnings, I happily ripped away and soon Ralphie himself began to emerge. My giddiness reached new heights when I held him up and his head moved. He is a bobblehead, and fully armed.

Ralphie now stands guard in the most prominent position in my study, proudly guarding photos, trinkets and treasures from around the world. I don't like to sit in there with the lights out, though. His eyes glow.

For all you doubtas

I'm sorry, did someone say I'm not showing yet?
Random - we had a family play-doh party a few days ago. (Does that sound nerdy or what??) Scott and I made this cool model of a person but Kate was more interested in stacking up the colors one little bit at a time.

Scott usually works the camera so it looks like he's never a participant in family events. This time I took the shot so that when Kate's older she'll believe that her dad spent time with her.

The angles in previous pictures hid my belly well, which may have misled some people. Here is an (unaltered) picture taken yesterday of me, 27 weeks pregnant.

Update

Here's a little of what we've been up to lately.

1. Birthday stuff
My birthday was on Monday and we got to go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, hooray! While we were there Scott remarked that he loves it even more every time he goes, and that made my heart happy. :)
If you click on this picture to expand, you can see some lurkers in the background.

2. Viruses
Kate and I recently got over some yucky colds. Scott somehow remained immune. (Does pregnancy weaken your immune system or should I just accept that mine is weak?) Here's Kate in all her snotty glory. It was sad to hear her sing herself to sleep every night in her "sick voice."


3. Quality time with Kate
Maybe that title is hypocritical because at the moment Sesame Street is keeping her busy while I blog. But with our new baby's arrival just three months away, for the most part we're trying to savor our one-on-one time with Kate as much as possible. She is in this delightful "gratitude phase" right now that I'm savoring too. Lately she's been thanking me very specifically for everything. (At the park: "Thank you for bringing me, Mommy!" After finding a lost toy, "Thank you so much for finding Elmo!" During dinner, "Thanks for making yummy food for us, Mommy," etc.) I really didn't expect this kind of gratitude until she went away to college. Another current obsession of hers is matching me in whatever I do - for example, she will often insist that one of us change our shirt so that we're wearing the same color. Kate also tries to keep us on the straight and narrow. In church a couple of weeks ago as the sacrament was being passed she turned to me and said, "Mommy, are you thinking about Jesus?"