Another Type of 'Hunger Game'?

A couple days ago a bunch of girls were down in the basement happily playing. They were all pretending to be cats. You never heard such purring, meowing, or scratching on carpets. Yes, I was almost physically ill. (It's not so much that I hate cats as much as the fact that I thoroughly detest cats.) (OK, OK....a small confession, our OUTDOOR semi-family cat Ralph Maynard was an exception many decades ago, but he was like one of the family--he ate leftover wheat mush and any other leftovers, both flora and fauna.) Anyway, when I went down later it was just Ally and her friend. I peeked into the bedroom and asked, 'What are you girls doing now?' Ally reached over to an open bag of pretzels and lifted them up for me to see, then happily replied, 'We're using pretzels as our fresh kill!'

Child Abuse!?

Ally stayed home from school today—she has been fighting a cold as well as occasional tummy-aches for the past week.
Before she and Cindy were to trek to Sam’s Club, Cindy fixed her a lunch of a cheese quesadilla (cut up neatly into 6 pizza-like slices) and some fresh strawberries. Ally ate 1.5 pieces of her quesadilla and some strawberries. She then announced, ‘I’m done eating. We can go to Sam’s club now if I can take a snack with me.’
Cindy replied, ‘If you’re still hungry, you need to finish eating your lunch.’
Ally retorted, ‘No. My tummy is full of my lunch—I need to take a snack.’
Cindy riposted, ‘Then you need to finish your lunch.’
Ally countered, ‘No. I’m full of my lunch.’
Cindy reiterated, ‘Then you need to eat more!’
Ally harrumphed and flounced to show her dissatisfaction, then stated, ‘Now you’re just being mean to your sick child!’

Ally then thought that Cindy was being even meaner as Cindy burst out laughing!

Not Quite Grasping the Concept

Today we had the pleasure of explaining the concept of 'April Fools Day' to Ally, and less than a minute later she was excitedly chiming, 'Guess what Dad! I just read a book without pictures all by myself!' I proffered the usual sounds of amazement and awe. She then paused dramatically before laughing out, 'April Fools!'

A minute later she came over to the kitchen sink, looked it over, and then excitedly said, 'Daddy, I want to do the dishes!'
I gave her a sidelong glance, waiting for the 'April Fools!!!'

I was still waiting after we finished cleaning up the dishes together.

I guess there's still hope for at least her.....

Good thing to know

Ally was asking me to do something, and I replied,
'But Ally, I'm OLD!'
She harrumphed and said,'Stop saying that! You are NOT old!'
I asked her how she knew this.
'Because you don't have cracks in your tongue. Old people have cracks in their tongue!'
Well, who can argue with that!

PS: You may be old if you're thinking about looking at your tongue in a mirror right about now.....

Ticked Off

Well, our tick-magnet daughter once again served as our DEW (distant early warning) line for the little bloodsuckers.
After carousing on the hill for awhile then coming in for FHE (no it wasn't 'Leave-the-family-home evening this time), she sat next to me, and awhile l later she pointed out a tick scurrying up my arm. It was moving so quick that I at first doubted that it was a tick, but it survived the squish-and-smear test (only losing its legs in the process). Yep, a tick.
A short time later there was another one on her arm.

And now Cindy is telling me that this same daughter may have gotten into poison ivy too!

I sure hope no rattlers are in the area....our same daughter will probably find it first too!

Scottish humor on an Irish holiday

So my lower back decided to jump out of place the other day and so I have been somewhat feeble and wobbly.
So this afternoon as we were sitting at the dinner table enjoying the 75-degree weather (and looking forward to the 80-degree weather for next week!! Ahh, mid-March has never been so nice!), Ally came in and asked me to get her a drink of water.

'I'll get it for you Ally,' Cindy cooed, 'Your Daddy has a bad back and I only have cancer!'

100th Anniversary

Today at lunch I placed two Oreo cookies next to Ally and then told her that Oreos were a hundred years old this year!

She slapped her palm against her forehead in the classic 'Wow, I could've had a V-8!' and replied, "A hundred years!?! Wow! Why, that's like....like 5000 years!'

Yeah. Okaaaaaaay.

I wonder how much the math tutor will cost....

Da Birds and Da Bees

So this morning Erin was being her usual goofy, semi-irritating self, and at one point I interjected, 'Ya know, Erin, you kids could really see how fun, happy, and nice your parents are if you would all be fun, happy and nice to each other.'
Erin got a huge goofy grin on her face and in loud mischievous sing-song tones she said, 'Oh DaaaAAd, YOU'RE the one who got Mom pregnant!!' [and thus ended up with Erin and the rest of the kids]
She then tacked on, 'Oh YEAH Dad, I've been on THAT FIELD TRIP!' [I.e., she knows the facts of life.]
SHe then added in an even louder, even more silly voice, 'Yep, that's RIGHT!....I've taken a BUS to THAT neighborhood!'

Yes, it is possible to chuckle uncontrollably while rolling one's eyes in despair.

Yes, and isn't it nice that she thinks that everything she does or ever may do is necessarily the fault of me and/or Cindy just because we were her birth parents?

Sigh.

I sure will enjoy being a grandfather some day....I hope my eyesight keeps up so I can read this back to her....