“Out, danged song! out, I say!”

I was enjoying a luxuriously deep sleep at 5 AM this morning, when Cindy’s alarm clock radio flipped on. The dulcet tones of John Denver filled the room.
I have helpfully provided a timeline of my thoughts as I had to listen to the lyrics (as marked by asterisks).

‘Sunshine.....on my shoulders*....makes me happy!..............
Sunshine....in my eyes....can make me cry**..............
Sunshine....on the water....looks so lovely...............
Sunshine....almost always***....makes me high...........****

if I had....a day*****..........that I could give you....******

*”Is this a nightmare? You’ve got to be joking! She’s gotta stop listening to that ‘oldies station.’”
**”Why isn’t she getting out of bed and turning that heckacious noise off?
***”Oh, the a—go—ny!!!! And why do I find it not at all surprising that he sings a high tenor (alto?).”
****”Yeah, ‘high’ is the right word. Likely stoned out of his mind when he wrote it!”
*****”Is she deaf? Is she dead? She’d better be!”
******”She’s finally getting up to turn it off! My sanity is saved!!! Note to self: Self, you’d better put a bat by the bed tomorrow in case Neil Diamond tries to wake you up!”

Two hours later, as I was walking out the door to work, I told Cindy, ‘You know, it’s all YOUR fault!’

She gave me a blank look and replied, ‘What is?’

I continued, ‘That I have that stupid John Denver song running through my head! Aaaargh!’

She chuckled, ‘I just loved it when I heard that this morning! And it was even more delicious because I knew that it would drive you crazy! That’s why I let it play for so long!’

Hmmm....Sounds like I need to get my 'Best of ZZ-Top' CD out and return the favor!

Daddo's Always Know the Best Soothing Words of Comfort

A couple days ago Ally had a loose chunk of a toenail that needed to be clipped off.
Cindy had tried to do it the night before, but Ally had steadfastly refused to provide access.
So the next morning I got a goor bearhug on Ally and gave her her favorite stuffed animal (a dog of all things!) and then Cindy grabbed the clippers to perform the toenailendectomy.
Ally starting crying frantically. Tears streamed down her face and her body was a frenzy of squirms.

Naturally, Cindy had yet to even touch her toenail.

I grabbed her tighter to immobilize her and cut off her view of the offending toenail, and Cindy clamped onto her foot and after enduring a couple more spastic squirms she was able to cut it off.

Ally continued to piteously cry after the fact, so I attempted to console her. Hearking back to a recent movie, I crooned, ‘Ally, do you think that the guy that had to cut his own arm off cried?’

I don’t know if it consoled her, but it did make Cindy break out into uncontrollable laughter.