This writers strike is killing me! Regardless, Seth and I watch the DVDs of past seasons over and over and over to get our fix! I think the reason it is such a great show is because anyone who has ever worked in an office probably knew at least one person who is similar to one of the characters. Maybe someone cute and funny like Jim or Pam, maybe somone completely apathetic like Stanley, maybe someone wierd and nerdy like Dwight, or maybe someone ditzy and living vicariously through celebrities like Kellie. Maybe even a boss as frustrating and inefficient as Michael Scott.A couple of weeks ago while having dinner with some old friends, it hit me: the reason I love the office so much is because I used to work with the exact replica of Michael Scott (a.k.a. John Paul) except he wasn't my boss and he was for REAL. Don't get me wrong, I really liked John Paul. I have made a lot of friendships through work - I mean, my very best friend started out as a coworker, but never in my life have I worked with someone who made life more entertaining than John Paul.
He was very awkward - constantly saying or doing things that made you uncomfortably embarassed for him, he was a surprisingly FANTASTIC salesman, was constantly trying to get girls (even on the FranklinCovey sales floor) with tactics that never worked, was into drama (improv), and had this very strong need to be liked! On top of it all, he even looked like a younger version of Michael Scott.
A couple of stories to prove my point (and make you laugh like crazy).
The Sandwich
One day, I was working with John Paul and he was helping a customer. The customer was holding a Blimpee bag and so, as a conversation starter, John Paul said to this man,"You just went to Blimpee, huh?" To which the man responded, "Yep."
"They have really good sandwiches. What kind did you get?"
"Turkey on white with ... (listing the toppings)." the customer said, trying to give all the neccesary information to move past this awkward sandwich conversation.
"That sounds really good."
"Do you want it?" asks the customer sarcastically.
"Sure! Thanks so much!" says John Paul as he takes the man's sandwich and brings it behind the register.
At this point I am extremely embarassed and want to hide under the nearest rock - unfortunately there were none to be found, so I continued acting as interested as I could in the report I was reading and lifted it in attempt to cover my face. John Paul went on to try and sell this customer some product for another 15 minutes. Finally the guy was ready to leave the store, stalling as much as possible with hopes of getting his sandwich back. When he realized it was not going to happen he headed toward the door as John Paul said, "Hey, Thanks again for the sandwich!" As the guy met up with his friend at the door (sandwich-less, mind you) I heard her say to him, "That was really nice of you."
As his manager, I had to take him in the back room and discuss with him why that was not an appropriate behavior! Yikes! Talk about a Michael Scott moment!
Bread Winner
For our store Christmas party, we went out to the Spaghetti Factory and everyone was invited to bring their significant other or a date. As with many Italian restaurants, they bring you a fresh loaf of bread before your meal comes. Well, at the time John Paul was also working a morning job delivering bread for a local bakery, so he wanted to show of his bread-cutting "skills" for his date. As he cut himself and his date slices of bread he added commentary on the perfect thickness of the slice and the smooth cuts. Since there were 2 loaves of bread on the table, Seth decided to challenge John-Paul to a bread-cutting contest. John Paul eagerly accepted.
On your mark. Get set. Go! Not only did Seth beat him by about 1/4 loaf, but John Paul's loaf was mangled and squished at the end. Even worse, John Paul was counting on winning, and thinking that this would be his "in" with his date.
At the next party, John Paul challenged Seth to a rematch, but since there was no bread they did a water-drinking contest. Again, Seth finished first!
2-4-08 NOTE: Seth has informed me that I left out a few details that make this story even more interesting. After the bread competition, John Paul continued to ask for "redos" to try and save face. We ended up with a LOT of bread. All of the redos resulted in the same winner, Seth, so John Paul started to challenge the quality of the cutting. We took a poll - Seth's slices were of much higher quality!
Improv
John Paul was also a college student. Many a day, he came into work talking about how he hadn't done his homework and was failing his classes. He was interested in this girl and she was taking an acting class, so he decided to take the acting class too. He came to work one day talking about how he had found the most hillarious scene, and had asked her to do it with him. We weren't very busy, so he wanted us to read the scene and tell him what we thought. I did drama in high school, so I am typically unphased by the craziness that is drama, but I have never read a more disturbing scene in my life. It was about a man who threatens to bury his wife in the basement because she irritates him and it ends with him actually doing it. Very Poe-esque! John Paul thought it was hysterical. Ashley and I were horrified! "You are going to freak this girl out," we warned. But, he continued to stalk her any way!
Well, I hope you have enjoyed my reminiscing. I wish I could tell you that this has been exaggerated or embellished, but it has not. Working with John Paul was unforgettable - kind of like the millions of lines we love to quote from The Office!
P.S. John Paul - If you have found my blog and are reading this, I hope you are doing well! I sure miss working with you! I think about you every time I have to cut bread! :)
2 comments:
This post is hillarious! I, too, absolutely adore "The Office". Whenever Merritt hears me laughing hysterically, he know's what's on! He doesn't find it as funny, I think it is too close to reality for him, just like being at work!
I managed a copy center downtown in my younger days. Once, I hired a new guy as our mailroom delivery guy, (usually a job for 18-19 year old guys.... this guy had to have been at least 35 +). He had been there a total of about 2 hours when he came into my office complaining about how horribly beneath him this job was. I explained that I had warned him about the job, but he still wanted it. He then got really red in the face and clenched his teeth and started shaking all over! I was freaked out! He just stood there shaking and clenching his fists, face getting redder and redder, and then in a long, rattled, seething sort of way said.... "Yyyyyyyyyyyooooouuuuuuuu!!!!!!!" Needless to say, he was proptly dismissed, but I had to have a security guard escort me to and from my car every day for a few weeks as he would call and make threats against me, and then joke like nothing had happened! Freaky! I'd much rather have a Michael Scott!!!!!
I used to know a guy when I was little whose name was John Paul and whenever he got an answer wrong in primary he would take off his shoe and hit himself in the head. Maybe it's the same guy! I haven't thought of him forever and I'm laughing just thinking about it.
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