Things that Sparkle

Sometimes it is overly appearant to me that I do not sparkle the way that the world says I should. It is a fact that feels like the thing that stands between me and all that I want most. Sometimes I feel much like a little girl wishing to be a princess in a castle, believing that just being the princess would solve all my problems.

There is something about being a princess that means you are special just because you are. In the world today we have royalty of different kinds and the truth is that by today's standards I am still not a princess and I do not sparkle.

Last night at the temple I started to think about things that sparkle. During Christmas time there is so much that sparkles (and truth be told I love all of it). However those things that sparkle are not practical at all...ever notice that. We make things sparkle to give them meaning that they don't naturally have.

Trees and houses light up during this time of year, but in truth they have no more value than their unlit version all year round.

Presents wrapped in shiny paper will be the ones that we use in everyday life over the course of their lifetime (which usually doesn't last as long as our lifetime)

People dress up to sparkle for family and friends during this time of year. Best clothes are put on our families and pictures are taken...so what wish see our family as can be seen to others.

I wonder sometimes if people realize that it is not the sparkle that gives things value in the long run, it is their usefulness. I think of the YW values

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Works

Knowledge

Choice and Accoutantablity

Good Work

Integrity

Virtue

Did they forget to add that Women need to sparkle to get attention. I mean that is what all the magazines say. So I try to make my hair cute, spend money on losing weight, and make time for the contact lens upgrade I need. All of this and I still don't sparkle.

So my best hope in life is to be like a chandler, clean and clear enough to relect light. In the end it is only the Light that sparkles anyway. I may never convince anyone here that I sparkle enough to be in a magazine, but I will reflect the Light that brings lasting happiness to those I love.

A little disappointed....

So I don't ask for much from my family. I mean I don't eve put together a Christmas list. So I have to say that this is the first year that I am a little disappointed. I have gone 365 days with out a new niece or nephew for the first time in 9 years. Come on siblings I need my baby fix!

PS...I really love the family I have and I will find a way to make due with the 12 little ones that I have to love!

My Dad

I love my DAD!

That's all for now.

10 things I love about FALL

1. The colors...what can I say they go with my skin tone.
2. Sweaters.
3. BYU football...and they are winning.
4. Holidays.
5. School starts...I like school supplies and got a Wonder Woman folder.
6. Soup...Bear Creek is awesome.
7. Romantic Comedies...did you ever notice that almost no romantic comedies play during the summer.
8. The smell after it rains.
9. Freshly harvested vegtables.
10. Halloween Costumes...I am a fire belle this year! the Pre-school kids will love it.

Jump Start at HeadStart

Head Start promoted me after two months. Family Service Specialist becomes Assistant Family Service Coordinator. It isn't quite Wonder Woman! I have more than enough work! There is always something to do.

I miss the freedom of my old job. My boss so doesn't understand how working hard and long hours have a way of working out...and I don't have any vacation and sick leave for a year.

I have finished two more classes towards my masters with two month before the end of the year. I still have to patition to have two classes transfered...keep your fingers crossed.

I finally got a calling in my wart...VT Coordinator. I might just have to get to know some people in my ward.

I know it has been too long, but here is a little update.

Forced Independance

I want to state for the record that I do no wish to be as independent as I am.

Today I exchanged power cords on my dryer...after hooking up the washer. Less than a month ago I replaced 4 rotating sprinkler head...I go to work and provide for myself financially...I even have located fuses in the car that need to be replaced.

The truth is that as I was standing in Home Depot clarifying with the customer service person that there was not any kind of simple converter for the dryer I thought...

This must be how men feel when they fix stuff, they do it because there is eventually no other option. Still someday when I am part of a cool married couple I will praise my husband up and down for doing these things, just because I don't have to!!

Lets go with the things I did DO

Oh my what a week!

This week on Monday my boss requested that I interview (again) for the coordinator position at my new job. Exciting, YES. I met with them on Tuesday for about a half hour and it went really well! They said they should know by Friday...here it is Sunday and I didn't hear anything. Sigh...

The whole job thing has been a little bit of an Ammon type experience. I have really tried to work hard and hope that my efforts will be recognized by the powers that be (AKA the Director). Hopefully this next week I will get an answer, although I am not even sure I care what the answer is. Okay, well maybe I care, but I can see it going either way.

I had a final in my Theories of Personality Class...six weeks flew by. My current class is group counseling...talking to a dozen strangers one night a week for eight weeks. Did I mention I am not much into self disclosure in group settings. :D

The weekend has been full of unpacking and making things a little more like home. I miss my family in Idaho, but I feel like I am moving forward!

All moved in

I have missed you my blog friends. It has been a busy couple of weeks! This morning I woke up in my new condo in PG, Utah. I have LOVED my extended sleep over with my BFF and her family. They are great (Kevin even says I can come back if I bring ice cream). The move was a all women and children moved on the Utah end. My manly man friends had work and other things, but it all went very smoothly. We did enjoy a pool break when all was moved in.

**I even had my favorite 10 year old put together the bolts on my bed...she is very strong. I went to tighten then after she was done and he had done a perfect job**

Work is going great. I really enjoy the people and the work.

I love school, and being in on the discussion end of things again. (I get all my participation points every week...are you surprised?) I finish my Theories of Personality class this week with a presentation and the start my Group Counseling class two days later in SLC for six weeks.

Here is a top ten for all you who have missed them.

Ten things I love about my new place
10 The pool
9 The floor plan...very spacious
8 My walk in closet
7 My roommates
6 The living room...it is huge
5 My bed...I missed it
4 Being closer to work and school
3 Being able to participate in the Ward's weekly activities
2 Being able to put up my pictures
1 Feeling settled!

Ten things I should have done this week.

10. Written a paper on Behavior Therapy

9. Gone to get a new prescription for contacts

8. Increased my overall Vitamin C intake...I have had a cold.

7. Opened a bank account within 50 miles of my home, work, and/or school.

6. Exercised

5. Write upcoming appointments on my calendar.

4. Gone to the temple.

3. Made arrangements to move furniture this week.

2. Found a boyfriend

1. Written a witty blog to my friends...sigh


Love you all,
Jennifer

Notes from my first two weeks

Oh my goodness my dear blogging friends where did all my time go? These last two weeks have flow by. I started my job June 1st, and although the whole keeping office hours is a little be of a change from my last job I am really enjoying life in Utah.

Here are some highlights

I got to unload my Uhaul in pouring and I do mean POURING down rain with Heather in Kevin, they are the best!

I already made a quick trip back to Idaho to see my friends Aubree and James get sealed in the Rexburg Temple (Aubree was my roommate last year and James took the discussions in my house...and he asked me to give the talk on the Holy Ghost at his baptism last year) which was such a sweet experience.

I got told by a landlord that she wasn't sure she wanted to rent me a house here in Utah because...and I am not making this up...I am single. We so are NOT in California anymore. (I am still working on confirming a place, I have two previous roommates that I am going to share a place with and I am excited to have them as roommates once again).

I have not worn jeans in over a week.

I am going to bed at ten at night...which is a big change as well.

Three out of five previous clients have called to tell me they miss me. My favorite calls every other day...and no I am not going to change my number.

I started class this week. I am the youngest by at least 10 years and have the most experience in the field...I guess all that PSR work was good for me after all.

I miss my family, and think of them daily...hourly :)

My New Roommate

This was just too much fun not to catch on film.  I am staying with my best friend Heather and her family for the next month while I find some digs of my own.

Therefore I have seven…count them seven new roommates. This is Sophia Grace. She is precocious…which sounds a lot like precious, which she is also

  

While mom was making cookies Sophie was trying to steal some cookie dough…she has started early on her life in crime…well actually it is probably a normal age for most kids.

 

The mixer lid turned out to be not such a great skirt after all!

Aunt Jen Loves you

My dear friends today is the birthday of my niece Kadee Ann Curtis. Kadee was born premature three years ago and was with her parents for 10 days before she returned to heaven.

Kadee is our angle princess and we are so grateful that she is part of our family. My heart goes out to Alicia and Matt this day as they mourn for their princess.

I am grateful to have a testimony of eternal families and I know that Kadee watches over our family as we continue to progress in this life. I know that she is waiting for us in spirit, for she is surely about her father's business and working to bring to pass his work as she watches over her parents and brothers.

Kadee,
I love you Kadee girl. I am sad that we don't get to have cuddle sessions and paint toe nails. Still you and I share a bond much deeper as we are Daughters of God sealed in an eternal family. I feel your spirit today. I know your strength, and I love you.

Love Aunt Jen.

Ten things that happened today

This morning Mommy helped me pack my kitchen….it took less than 2 hours, GO TEAM.

I found out two things about panic attacks. 1. my best friend says there is some kind of immunization for them, and 2. that you can’t tell your family about your panic attacks while they are having panic attacks they are you moving away.

I found out that I might have to spend two nights in jail…

I reaffirmed my believe that state workers are not committed to their jobs, however county workers are much worse at follow through…which I didn’t know was possible.

My sister’s offered to bake me a cake with a file for me in jail

I found out that I can apply for COBRA coverage for 60 days and that my insurance at my new job starts in 60 days…so there is no unnecessary insurance cost if I have no emergency medical needs till then.

I got a schedule of my classes for school and it looks like I will be in possession of a Master’s degree by the end of 2010! 

My BFF offered to visit me in jail.

I burnt a bag of popcorn.

I found out that because I did not know that I was driving without privileges I will not be required to go to jail after all………..Not GUILTY

Rose color glasses not needed

So today it happened.  That day that I look forward to every year.  It is the start of the summer season.  It has nothing to do with the date on the calendar.  It is the first sunburn of the year.

Yes my friends, all those long winter nights that people questioned my redhead status…they have left us and now we are at the point where my skin is hotter than the air in the room.  They are a shade of pink resembles the really pretty flowers in the neighbor’s yard.  So let the summer begin…and get out the sunscreen!

Sunglasses optional.

The Move and the Hitch

I was informed that my last to do  list was really a plan to make a plan…sometimes you have to plan those things too :)  Thanks my friend for your support….I love sharing my life with you in Blogland.

I got all my paperwork done to finish my school application and financial aid stuff! I have always been good at paperwork…it adds to my billable rate.

I have informed 4 out of 5 clients that I will be leaving.  I really only have one partial week of work left…So that is starting to sink in.  Don’t worry though, I will be taking late night phone calls till the very end.  I think for the first week I will turn off my phone in the evening just because I can.

I went to Uhaul today and had my hitch checked today…when I checked the price online it was suggested that I do that.  The guy acted like I was crazy…apparently my car can tow whatever Uhaul can put behind it.  Which is great because it is so much cheaper to rent a trailer than a truck.

All the packing supplies at the moving store have inspired me to start packing.  So two trash bags later I have a small pile of boxes started in my living room.  Wow…

 

this is starting to feel real. 

Have you met my best friend?

Here are ten reasons I have the best friend in the world…if you have questions then you should call Kevin he will verify this.

10. She can make really good food out of almost no ingredients…it is amazing, I am waiting for her to publish her cookbook…I request the first copy.

9. She knows I can read her, and depends on me for that.

8. I can tell her anything…and I do mean anything I am thinking and she will respond with perfect understanding…and she usually laughs.

7. She appreciates a good book…and I mean really appreciates it!

6. I never have to provide a history.  You know when you talk to people you have to give them some background information, after knowing her half my life I never half to do that.

5. She is deep…like the trenches in the ocean deep.

4. Her vision is expansive. Normally people who are deep emotionally can be limited in their breath of knowledge…not her she likes to learn, and is always doing it.

3. She is as committed to our friendship as I am…some people never find that.

2. She has a completely different perspective that she uses to teach, counsel and understand the world around her.  It is vastly different than mine, so when we discuss things we have a more complete picture.

1. We can sit in the same room for hours and say nothing just as easily as talking for ever…and the conversations always picks up at a comfortable spot!

 She and I made this together…

The to do list…

if you missed this one then it is too late….

 

 

…..which is just my way of saying I accidently lost in editing land.

Hello Dolly!

Have you met Dolly Levi?

If you haven’t seen the movie in a while it will bring a smile to your face…and if you are like me you can watch it multiple times in one  weekend and still walk around singing the soundtrack while no one is watching.

There are not enough musicals in our lives.
They just make me smile!

You might be a PSR worker if…

In honor of me taking a new job in Provo Utah I wanted to note the things that have made my job as a Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist….so it is time for a top ten list.

You might be a PSR worker if…

10.You have ever had a business meeting in a retail store.

9.You have ever been called by 911….really happened people.

8.You have ever taken possession of personal items while a client is being hand cuffed and sent to detention (read jail).

7. You have ever dealt with suicidal ideology over the phone in a bathroom stall on a date.

6. You have had a client walk naked into a room.

5. You gave out a business card in the psychiatric ward of a hospital.

4. You talk a client out of going the ER by using ice cream.

3. Your analyze the physical interactions of your friends by the appropriate touch book you used with your client who is in elementary school

2. You have mentally created Service Plans for each of your family members.

1.You cannot resisted feeling tempted to correct your friend’s attention seeking behavior.

So many shoes so little paycheck

    So the other day walking through the mall and I saw these shoes….Zebra print with yellow accents.  They spoke to me…Unfortunately they didn’t speak the budget price that I was hoping for.  So they Didn’t come home with me.

 

I did try the math in my head to ffigure out how much oatmeal I would have to eat for the next couple months to wear these shoes once or twice a year….that doesn’t include dancing to the radio in my room

 

 

So like Any self respecting closet shoe crazy girl I went online to check them out.  I found several other pair by the same designer that I enjoyed.

 

 

They range from the simple and chic  to the retr0

 

 

 

 

 

Even the brand made me smile….Naughty Monkey Shoes.

A Pep Talk for Those on the Path

I had the humbling opportunity today to talk with a co-worker who was struggling with her conviction that keeps her moving along the straight and narrow path.  Like so many people she is doing what she can to move forward, but in this moment she has taken a look up from the path and seen some pretty awful things.

Let’s take a minute and remember is really going on off the path.

The mist of darkness surround the path and the rod.  It is so thick in places that if we were to let go of the rod we could quickly become lost and begin to wander aimlessly. Lehi referred to this as the “dark and dreary waste”.  This is the first thing that assaults our senses as we look around the path.  Notice please my friends that it is not lined with rose, or paved with some kind of red carpet.  The scenery is noisy.  I can cause those are not focused to be disoriented quickly.  It surrounded Lehi so much that HE begged the Lord for mercy.

Oh and there is the party place.  The great and spacious building in which many of those we know are living up the good life.  They are partaking of every blessing the world has to offer right now.  They laugh at those pressing forward.  Much like people in the bleachers complaining about athletes on the field.  They point out ever mistake, even if they can’t qualify to play the game.

I only know this that although it can sometimes feel silly to move forward in darkness it is better than wandering in wasteland, and far better than being a  building where you cannot progress at all.

To those who are tired and drained from their efforts my prayer tonight is for you.  I pray that you can hold on.  That a friend will come lift you up and take your hand so you don’t feel so alone.  Look up! Focus your sights on the goal of eternal life and exaltation.  The view of all that is to come is glorious and will give you energy to move forward.

See 1 Nephi 8

Girly Night

Saturday Night I took the opportunity to start my Mother’s Day celebration early.  Brooklyn (age 5) and Ellia (age 4) came to have a sleep over at Aunt Jen’s.  They were so excited when I asked them that they decided that they just wanted to bring their dinner with them.

We painted toe nails and finger nails! Stayed up watching a movie. We played with the My Little Ponies for a while too.

The next morning I made them eggs and blueberry muffins.  I added cheese and salsa ranch to the eggs…it turned our really tasty.

I got to play princess by doing the girls hair for church.

Thanks April for sharing the girls with me!

Drama, Drama, Drama

There is something really really special about working with teenagers.  Everyday it is different.  Feelings are like roller coasters with serious detours depending on what the closest teenager is feeling. With end of the year dances and school coming to a close combined with anxiety disorder and panic attacks I never know what is going to happen from day to day. 

In an effort to embrace this aspect of my job I wanted to share this music video from one of my favorite movies that shows how our emotions affect the way others see us.  A little behavior therapy for us all.

TeenAgeDramaQueen

Faith Proceeds the Miracle

There is a need in today world for the miracles of the Lord.  In much of the world there a misunderstanding of what a miracle is.

A miracle is

1. a divine act.
2. part of divine teaching.
3. not a deviation from the course of nature.
4. manifestation of divine/spiritual power.
5. a higher law superseding a lower law.
6. intended for the proof of Christ’s divinity.
7. require prayer, faith and need.

Miracles will come.  Have no doubt.  The Lord will work in your life in a way that higher laws supersede lower laws because of your faith.

You will be required to be involved through prayer and faith as your needs are identified and fulfilled through miracles of the Lord.

Prov. 3: 5:  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

A Mother’s Heart

Women’s Conference is always enjoyable.  This year it was a different experience.  This year my focus changed from how the lessons affected my growth and answered my questions to thoughts of how I would teach my children the lessons of the gospel. 

I don’t have children, so there was certainly an element of surprise as I felt my heart swell with love for my children. There was a urgency as my mind started to quickly break down the lessons into how I can be that example.  The kind of example that my mother has been to me my whole life. 

I want to be that kind of mother.  The kind that lives the gospel by example.  The kind that does the right things for the right reason.  Acting with purpose as I lead my family.  Moving forward each day doing the things that have to be done before I do the things I want to do.  Giving my time, talents, and efforts to bring the souls of my children, my husband and all of my family to Christ.

I am not going to lie to you, there is a very real ache in my heart.  There is a pain for the people I don’t have in my life.  There is a pain for the lessons that I can’t teach to them right now. 

I have complete faith that for me to gain exaltation I will need to do all of those things.  I will need to give all of myself.  That opportunity will come. 

It is because I know how it feels not to have that opportunity that I can be sure that when it comes, that day when I am asked to give up what seems like my own life for the life of my family I will not flinch, stumble, or stall.  I will take that opportunity to give all, because it is taking all I have to wait for THAT opportunity.

The stuff they didn’t tell you with your housing packet

Mom and I are at Women’s Conference.  This year we combined all of our intellectual capabilities and determined that we would stay in the one campus dorms.  So he we are at Chipman Hall.  Before claiming two flights of stairs we enjoyed dinner at the Cannon Center.  Lots of veggies…of course with my lap band my first suggestion goes out to BYU.

1. You need a bathroom within running distance of the dinning tables. That or have a lap band defined area with directional arrow to the facilities.

Then we went to the dorm.  We walked around bewildered at the absence of a elevator. With minimal luggage for two women gone for three days. The 2000 lbs was successfully deposited in the room with 1.5 trips from the car, up the stairs and ALL THE WAY down the hall.

2. There are not elevators, make sure to request ground floor housing.

Of course the lack of elevators increase our feelings of entitlement to sample the plethora of deserts at the desert station…not a bar, it is way more wonderful than any desert bar could be.

3. We wish to thank the Women’s Conference Committee for ensuring the absence of calories in all food consumed during Women’s Conference.

The PIG Flu

Recent in the news there had been much talk of a new scary disease has come to the US.  In fact according to the radio there is four cases in Eastern Idaho.  Should we all be afraid?  I mean I got through the mad cow scare unharmed in any way.  In fact I didn’t know anyone other than Oprah was actually affected by the issue (and I don’t even feel that close to Oprah, she never calls and her political views are so weird)

     So last night I had an encounter with the Pig Flu.  This is how it went.  A friend, male, who has recently married propositioned me…and yes that means what you think it means. (He is defiantly one SICK pig of a man)  You know that really really disgusted feeling when you wonder how such a seeming human looking individual could be so inhuman.  He is MARRIED girls, and even if he wasn’t you just don’t proposition women. Your wife maybe, but even then it should not make her feel like she is asked to break every ethical and moral code that she has.

This is how it goes sometimes.

 

At first boys are so cute, sweet, charming you know…

 

 

 

Then some of them start to change upon closer look….suddenly they  are

 

 If you young women are going with a young man who wants to take you to places where you should not go, however appealing, to those dark and noisy places, and there is some move to try to get you to do something you know you should not do, cut it off. Break it up! Send him a letter. Stamp it “Second-Class Male.”

-President Boyd K. Packer, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, The Instrument of Your Mind and the Foundation of Your Character, February 2003

And if you didn’t get it that way try

Top ten ways my education and professional skills preparing me for being a wife.

10. I am all talked out so only vital conversations are necessary.

9. I am aware of the effects that an environment has on emotional welfare and therefore am committed to active homemaking.

8. I excel at verbal reassurance.  Which means I can make you feel like you are the smartest, funniest, most handsome man in the world with my communication skills.

7. I have studied non-verbal interaction, so I don’t always have to know what you are thinking, and I can communicate all the things in number 8 without saying a word.

6. I have extensive parenting experience…and yet  I have no children.

5. I have excellent control of my emotions (this is compared to other women).  When I do express emotions I can be very specific about what a conversation will require of you.

4. I know the benefits of positive reinforcement and have developed a conscience thought process that is anti-nagging.

3. I am loyal.  Your puppy dog has nothing on me.

2. I am aware that men are capable of relaxing to the state of unconscious thought.  I understand that this means that my husband will need time to relax without being required to interact with others.

1. I have a extensive understanding of the affects of physical touch on human relationships, particularly what and how they communicate.

Elves in the Dining Room

April’s birthday present from my mom is reupholstering her dining room chairs.  Today our project began.  Much like webcams on building site this project will be update with significant changes as they become available.

  

Mom gets very into her work…so much that sometimes her work gets into her.

There were like 200 stapes per cushion..no joke.

Sarah was our supervisor.

If Momma Isn't Happy

This is not about my mother, and since I am not a mother in the most basic sense of the word it is not about me. However, it is about my most recent observations of emotions and the connection that they show through our relationships with others.

Emote, the act of expressing emotions.  Through verbal expressions and cues, body language, or through the spiritual connections that is felt by humans, but often hard to explain we all express our emotions. 

There is a human responsibility in emoting that is not addressed directly enough.  Through the past couple decades emoting is an act of personal expression that people take pride in.  There is a “diva” aspect which is almost unchecked emotions.

Women have been exploited through this process.  The phrase “if momma isn't’ happy, then ain’t nobody happy” is humorous because it true, and not because it is right.  With influences comes responsibility.  This responsibility is something that we should take more seriously.

Lets use our super powers for good my friends.  If we can affect others through our emotions then let us build them up, help them come unto Christ through the spirit, and give support in the way we express our emotions.  Let others be at peace, and even happy because we are examples of those emotions.

What more can I say

Today is my sister’s birthday.  There are so many wonderful things about heather….but let’s be honest the pictures says it all.

Love Love Love you Heather!!!!

You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me a better woman.

This is how WE do leftovers….

Yesterday Heather threw a Bridal Shower at April’s house for her friend.  SO today for Sunday dinner we had leftovers. 

Here are the girls getting things ready.  We love to cook together.  The kitchen is snug, but we all love each other.

April was talking to Stephanie on the phone.  I miss being close to April’s family, they are always so much fun. 

 

Ethan didn’t want to wait for his plate to be made.  He served himself up some grapes

Ellia takes after Aunt Jen with her Dinner entertainment.

Sarah is so very very adorable…and adds a smile to every family event.

 

You are kind of smiling aren’t you.

Jump for Joy

How do you define joy?

Trampolines add a little something to the day. I love watching the kids perform for us.  Here are some action shots.

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Maybe, Maybe Not

10. Your friends think you are dating, his don’t

9. He hugs you for extended periods of time, but has never kissed you (there might or might not have been an attempt).

8. He holds hands with you when no one is around.

7. He leans…

6. You deny it when you friend name the 10 reasons they know he likes you. (but you smile)

5. He always sits next to you.

4. He calls to tell you about his significant experiences.

3. He knows your favorite dessert, but you never go out to restaurants.

2. When he describes his perfect women he names all the same things as when he tells you what he likes about you.

1. He calls at intermittent times to plan activities that are only two of the three following

Planned Ahead

Paired Off

Paid For

Seriously Men…time to commit, because to many woman have spent to many hours trying to figure out what you are doing, why you are doing it, and if it means what all of our friends think it means.

8th Grade all over again

So during my eighth grade graduation my nylons came off unexpectedly. They were to big and started to fall south during the walk to my seat on the football field. I kept my hand at my waist trying to delay the inevitable. Finally while at my seat I shimmied out of my nylons...which was not hard as they were already at my knees.

Today as I was walking away from a meeting the same thing happened. By the time I got to my car my tights were at my knees.

Seriously people...loosing weight is not always fun.

It is all part of the AMAZING plan

One of the things that I LOVE about Conference is that it is a time when the Spirit of the Lord whispers to our hearts the things we needs.   For many people I know it becomes the time when significant decisions are made because of the thoughts, feelings, and impressions that connect to the Light of Christ in each of us.

During this most recent conference I feel that it was time that I take the next step in my life.  It is because I felt it resonate with my spirit that I feel no fear in moving forward.  I feel no fear that the path will open. 

It is not often that I can say that I have complete faith, but when the direction comes in a clear way that my spirit can recognize then complete faith seems easy.  It is more than easy.  It is confidence in the knowledge that I am on my Father’s errand.  It is a knowledge that when the Lord wants something accomplished then it will be accomplished. 

During the last week  I have studied Nephi as a young prophet.  I find that his testimony is what sets him apart.  He actively seeks to draw close to the Lord.  He moves forward, seeks testimony and is able to do more with the support of the Lord. He is ready for his next errand from the Lord.  He is sure of his success.

On this wonderful Easter Sunday, I want to thank my Father for the gifts of the spirit.  I know they are how the Lord works through us to accomplish his purpose.

Age is only a Number!

Today is my sister April’s Birthday.  She is an amazing woman.

April not only believes that family is the most important things, she lives her life that way.  April has brought a life to a the Hays Family Party.  She is one of us in every sense of the word.  She makes us better, helps us laugh at ourselves, and give of her self.

 

April I have a deep love and gratitude for you.  I am especially grateful that you have moved close and we have the opportunity to spend more time together.  Your testimony of family raises the bar for all of us, and we are grateful for the love you continue to bring to our lives.  As a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, and Woman you amaze me.

Faith of little children

Who knew! I mean seriously so many adults have stressed and prayed over this issue for years. Of course we couldn't figure it out. I mean we weren't ready. First my brother had to grow up and get married. Then they had to wait to have children. Then we had to wait for Brooklyn to grown up and develop a cognitive thought process that would allow her to explain it all to me.

For months now Brooklyn has been asking when I am going to start having children. I mean come on...I am her ONLY aunt that doesn't have children, so she knows that it is my turn. (Hint Hint, Nudge, Nudge) Ellia has asked as well. Sammy chimes in every now and then. Jarom has asked before. Ben hasn't asked forever. Caleb Michael is still looking at me kind of weird. The rest think I am their personal jungle gym, so they are pretty satisfied for now.

Tonight April, Sarah, and Brooklyn came to see me. It is kind of nice that my family visits my little apartment. Brooklyn colored a picture, then she wanted me to put some string on some beads to make some jewelry (this is something that all her aunts have in common). Then we played a little game. As she was putting on her jacket she looked at me once again and asked, "Aunt Jen, when are you going to have kids". I reminded her that, "first Aunt Jen has to get married in the....". "Temple" Brooklyn finishes.

I then quickly explain that I have to find a husband first. Well this is easy Brooklyn decides. "Come over to my house and I will show you your husband Aunt Jen."

Well Brookie, I am there. See you tomorrow!

What's in your shopping cart?

I hate to ruin it but this is not a dating story.

I used to think there was no point to shopping at club membership super stores. I mean what single person needs 48 hotdog...I mean unless you are having a BBQ.

But this month I learned that for the lap band improved crowd (that's me) there are only a few things that I eat. So this month I went to Sammy's to go grocery shopping. Here is what came home with me

48 Gogurts
2 Bags of frozen fruit
2 Bags of tortilla chips
30 high protein meal shakes
48 mini bags of popcorn
24 Fiber bars
24 Mexican egg roles
8 Soy bean packages
48 cheese sticks

Food I know I can eat without throwing up being in the house all month...priceless.

The missing mailbox!!!!

You know the saying you don't know what you have till it is gone. Well today I stopped by my office to check my mailbox. It was gone. Over the last couple weeks they have been rearranging our workspace, and the mailboxes are the most recent focus of the office staff.

Last week they has changed the mailboxes and arranged them by last name...however since most of us only go in the office once a week, they thirty degree holding adults that share my office complained. The office staff went to work to rearrange the boxes yet again.

Today I went to look for my box..it is alphabetical, so it should be that hard. However it went from Jana to Jill...I probably rechecked four times. Then I looked at other places thinking that maybe they moved me because they forgot at the last minute. Hey they are only human. Still no box.

My heart sank! They the panic set in. Why wouldn't they give me a mailbox. I of course first evaluate my recent performance at work. I determined that there was no reason to worry, but still I wrote an email to the office manager.

I didn't know how much my work mailbox meant till today.

Testimony of promises

My heart is full as I consider the blessings of my life. I have so many blessings in my life that show the love that the Lord has for me. I am truly loved of the Lord, and it shown in the care He takes in my life. I know the blessings that I desire most in life, that of a companion and family are arranged in the Lord's time.

He has promised, and He keeps his promises. The natural woman in me seeks to attract a spouse to fulfill this need. The world pulls on me to be exposing in my dress and manner, as to make men comfortable in their pursuit of me.

This pull from the world is strong as I get older. In my weak moments I questions the choices I have made over time. The choice to put the Lord first. To serve others, to consecrate my talents, to temper my natural and physical portions. To wait upon the Lord for the kind of man who can lead my family and guide our family to the Celestial Kingdom. To withstand the criticism from the great and spacious building.

Still it in the pull, the criticism, and exercion of faith that allows me to know that I am on the path. The darkness surrounds the right way. It is only in walking through the darkest of moments, hours and days of our life that we build a testimony. This testimony has cost me the immediate gratification that so many arround me enjoy. It is the tesitmony that allows me to claim the blessings of dicipleship.

Why aren't you married?

So I have to say that because I mostly hang out with the family and single friends I don't get this questions so often that is causes me to have some kind of violent reaction, but it comes up. The truth is I am not more any more broken than any other married person I know, in fact many are way more screwed up than I am.

So here is the top ten non reasons I am not married...
10. I am not too picky, I only want what I want.
9. I am not looking to be a career woman. But I have a career I am ready to retire from ;)
8. I am not afraid to leave my parents for a spouse, but I have some family members who are afraid I will move away.
7. I am not scared of commitment. But I am learning to be afraid of people who are afraid of commitment.
6. I am not boring, if I wasn't funny would you be my friend?
5. I am not afraid of affection...quite the contrary!
4. I am not waiting to finish my school, some nights I pray that I will get married so I don't have to finish the current paper.
3. I am not threatened by a man who is in charge...I have been heard to say that I really want someone who can take control.
2. I am not unattractive, I haven't' had a really bad hair in several months.
1. I am not lacking for amazing male friends who are defiantly someone I can see my self married. (see number seven for why I don't marry them)

Arranged Marriage

I now that I know some of your thoughts on blind dates lets talk about arranged marriage. In college I took a class on marriages across cultures and throughout the world. The concept of arrange marriages is a big part of many cultures. It seems that thoughts about marriage have changed over the years.

Marriage was about working together in order to survive. Not so long ago pioneers married in order to ensure their survival. Today marriage has been commercialized and for the unmarried the focus is on the wedding. This is probably because the world can guarantee a perfect wedding day...it most certainly can be purchased. So no matter where you in the economic market we begin to fantasize that if we can have romantic moments like in the movies and in the novels at the market then our happily ever after is ensured by the perfect wedding dress.

Arranged marriage is different than forced marriage, which is what people believe arranged marriage to be. Arranged marriage is taking the knowledge and opinions of the family and nobles in the community and making a decision on how two people can work together in order to survive.

Romantic love can certainly cycle through great marriages. I can come in long and short phases in weekend and moments. It is a spark that keeps things exciting. But it is not what keeps people together.

So what do you think...is there something to arranged marriage?

The Prayer of a Single Woman

Today my niece Sarah Rose was blessed. These events are amazingly filled with love. With all that is wonderful I don't want to dampen the wonder of this event, but to add some perspective.

Well to add my perspective to the day. There is a very real ache in the core of my being. It is more than a biological clock, and more than a spiritual pull. There is an awareness of the emptiness of my .... I don't know what to call it. I have a family, I have a life, I have things that fill my heart, I have things that make me think and cause me to grow, so I don't know what it is that is empty, but it is something.

So here is my prayer today...

Thank you for my family, especially the many children that fill my arms and my heart
Thank you for my understanding of the gospel, even if it adds to my awareness of those things that I don't have.
Thank you for my trials that allow me to come closer to Christ.
Thank you for finding other ways for me to learn compassion, patience, and love
Thank you for teaching me about consecration, and allowing me to give of myself.
Thank you for hope, and faith, and blessings I can trust in.

Easter Basket to go!

I have a friend who is on a mission and I am working on putting together an Easter Care Package.

• Jelly Beans
• Parachute Rabbits
• Finger Bug Flinging Toys
• Camouflage Easter Eggs
• Jelly Crabby Patties
• Minuture Flying Footballs

You know it is too bad that care packages are left for the YOUNG Adults...because they are so much fun!

Blind Date Survey

I am taking a survey of what you think of blind dates....what is your opinion?

Waffer Cookie Confession

So I have a confession to make. On the car ride....we are talking 800 miles or so twice in the last two weeks I have consumed Wafer cookies. Mom and I tried really hard to eat travel food that was good for us.

• Light tuna
• Whole wheat crackers
• Lots of fruit
• Yogurts

but still, when all was said in done we loved us some ...

WAFER COOKIES

What if your favorite travel snack?

Thanks Mommy

I recently returned from Washington where I visited with my sister's family. It was a wonderful trip. Still today as I unpacked and was trying to think what would be interesting to you my faithful friends I decided to tell you about my mom's destressing activity that has changed my...well options.

Many of you will remember that I had Lap Band sugery awhile ago, and therefore I have had some trouble finding things to eat that don't...uh...well...make it through the band test.

My mom has this thrift store nears my Sister's that she loves...and she came home with a food grinder for me. It makes regular food like baby food...and it goes down so nice.

It still happens in small portions but none the less it helps me eat what the rest of my family eats at family meals!

This is a little what it looks like...

The Fiction about the Bottom-head Brothers

Long ago on a hike through the mountains on a normal summer day I stopped under a tree to cool down. While sitting under this tree I feel asleep...it was just that kind of hot day. When I awoke I noticed that in the bushes were strange white half moons bobbing up and down. I sat and watch to see if I could identify the objects. It wasn't a flower, there were no petals. It wasn't an animal they were unaltered by noise....

It was the men in the family running around with underwear on their head....and so the Bottom-head Brothers came to be many many moon...uh...not that kind of moon...ago.

The Dirty Sole Sisters

Yes it is true the bottom-head-brothers have officially met their match in the dirty-sole-sisters.

You know you are in Seattle when...

I am lucky to be visiting my sister in WA. The trip is always a little long but mom makes it very pleasant, and even more fun than she would want me to report.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. I have gotten more hugs...and squeezes (which differ from hugs) in the last 24 hours than the last two months combined. This is surely Jarom's talent.

I really wanted to take the kids to the zoo today (my local zoo membership gets me in free to over 100 different zoos across the country) but I woke up and it is raining...oh well, when in Seattle enjoy the rain.

So this morning we cleaned up the boys room while I sang them Silling Songs by aunt Jen, I have not mastered Larry's skill yet, but I am working on it!

Game Night in the Curtis Home

Last month my mom and I were able to go to Bremerton Washington to visit my sister and her family. Friday night we introduced my mom to the WII. It was a big hit. This is Alicia and Mom with some mad dance moves.

Disco Fever!

Here is the future game designer showing the kids how it is done. Blaine, however has some other thoughts.

Caleb Michael likes to be in the action, but…

Blaine is very insistent.

I think mom needs a WII for her home!

P.S. I didn’t take pictures of the “Butt” Surfing.

The Parable of the Bread Pan

This story is from Elder Dallin H. Oaks book "The Lord's Way"

I was helping my wife wash dishes on one occasion, (she would say one rare occasion.) She had baked nut bread. When I got to the pans, she said, "Don't try to wash those pans before you soak them in water. The residue is cooked on."

He goes on to say

Many of our erroneous ideas about the things of God and the procedures we should follow to accomplish his purposes are also "cooked on" by heat and pressure of worldly tradition and professional practices. Those ideas will not yield to cleansing until they have been soaked in the living water of gospel principles.

1 Ne. 11: 25

And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life; which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also beheld that the tree of life was a representation of the love of God.

My DEEP rooted spelling issues

Once upon a time...well when I was in the second grade I entered a spelling bee. At the time I was quite the expert speller and it came down to me and another girl...she is probably an editor now, but none the less our paths crossed that day. It was the last word....I proceeded with confidence

A-T-H-E-T-E

"I am sorry that is incorrect"

little miss editor in the making proceeds to attempt the word.

A-T-H-L-E-T-E

"That is correct"

That day will forever mark the day I started just not caring about spelling....I mean that is what spell check is for. Anyway I want you to know that with all the other things that I am good at I have just accepted that some childhood experience shape our lives.

I admit it I am a lazy speller, I hate to proof read and I accept the consequences of this in my life.

PS. This dedicated to you Kimma.

Bored does not equal not Busy

The other day I told my friends that I had a boring life. It is true, but not because it is not busy. I am employed full time and have five clients who all have "CLINICALLY SIGNIFICANT" mental health issues (note I didn't mention any family members with "clinically significant" issues), I am in GRAD school full-time, and I have all the little things that go with my life

That is the boring but busy part of my life!

Don't cry for me friends...just because I don't have my own crazy household to take care of just yet does not mean I am not happy. My sisters are always willing to share their not so boring lives....aka my adorable nieces and nephews

It is the quite ones you have to be afraid of....

So this week my Sisters (minus Alicia) and their kids took my car...the POSSE mobile to California. You think I am joking...but those who have seen my car know that my car is properly marked :)

Anyway on Sunday the quite members of my family had a gathering (Matt you were missed and your presence in the quite group is noted). By quite I mean the less social members of my family. This includes my parents who are capable of socializing, but truly enjoy their quite time. My brother Seth who was VERY social in high school and then was like Peter Pan leaving Neverland when he went on his mission. (April is his Tinkerbell wife and has been taking him back to Neverland on a regular basis, that makes their four kids the lost kids). Then there is me...some of you may think I am social, but it is just not true. I am blunt and vocal, but not social.

It was a good time. I can't tell you what we talked about because that is top secret club business ;)

33 down forever to go!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

There are so many reasons that my parents are just about the most wonderful people that most of you will ever meet. Their power and grace are felt and admired by all those have come to know them. For those of you who don't know them here are 33 reasons that I admire my parents, their marriage and their lives.

33. They go on a date every week
32. They are best friends
31. They work together
30. They can take direction from each other
29. They appreciate their differences (and there are a lot of them)
28. They are always working to improve themselves
27. They support each other in their goals
26. They know how to disagree
25. They know how to compromise
24. They are funny
23. They handle crisis well
22. They love their family
21. They serve with purpose
20. They love the outdoors
19. They have perfect faith
18. They have excellent taste
17. They work as a team
16. They are always improving
15. They are without guile
14. They know the meaning of sacrifice
13. They enjoy the little things
12. They know the power of prayer
11. They are understanding
10. They are humble
9. They are constantly improving
8. They protect those they love
7. They cherish the important things
6. They are hilarious
5. They are positive
4. They lead by example
3. They love to learn
2. They reach out to others
1. They are examples of love

If I had kids I would have this!

So I saw this product and just thought it was BLOG worthy. I mean after the conversation about potty training at last night's family home evening I thought what could be better!

http://www.varsitybaby.com/order.html

And for all those of you who don't know the COUGAR fight song....here it is!

Rise, all loyal Cougars and hurl your challenge to the foe.
You will fight, day or night, rain or snow.
Loyal, strong, and true
Wear the White and Blue.
While we sing, get set to spring.
Come on Cougars, it's up to you!

CHORUS:
So Rise and Shout, the Cougars are out
Along the the trail to fame and glory.
Rise and shout, our cheers will ring out,
As you unfold your vict'ry story.
On you go to vanquish the foe
For Alma Mater's sons and daughters.
As we join in song, in praise of you, our faith is strong.
We'll raise our colors high in the blue,
And cheer our Cougars of BYU.

Thumbtastic!

It is at this time today I would like to thank my Heavenly Father for making sure I have two thumbs. Since my peach can insident earlier in the week I have been minus one working thumb. Here is a list of things I have found that you need a thumb for:

Opening medicine bottles

Driving

The space bar on the keyboard (thank goodness I have one working thumb or this post would be harder to read)

Any kind of hook, which can make some undergarments hard to manuver

Holding books, and turning pages

Holding glasses, plates, and most other things.

Opening my cell phone

Holding hands

Pressing buttons

The list could certainly go one, but my thumb is throbbing most painfully.

Importance of the Opposable Thumb
The thumb, unlike other fingers, is opposable, in that it is the only digit on the human hand which is able to oppose or turn back against the other four fingers, and thus enables the hand to refine its grip to hold objects which it would be unable to do otherwise. The opposable thumb has helped the human species develop more accurate fine motor skills. It is also thought to have directly led to the development of tools, not just in humans or their evolutionary ancestors, but other primates as well. The opposable thumb ensured that important human functions such as writing were possible.The thumb, in conjunction with the other fingers make humans and other species with similar hands some of the most dexterous in the world.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thumb)

Smoothie, Stitches, just another Thursday

So Thursday night I was working on my homework and decided to take a break and make a smoothie for dinner...I know that isn't a very substantial dinner, but it has yogurt and juice and fruit. Anyway I decided to add a can of peaches just for a change. That is where the drama all started. I have two can openers, neither very good, which I use to attempt to open the peach can. I tried one and then the other...and then the other again. Finally I just decided to push down to open the can enough to get the fruit out. I mean I am pretty strong so it totally could have worked.

It went from working to blood in point two seconds. the lid cut into my thumb. I immediately ran it under water and then applied pressure...but it just didn't look right. I mean there was something like brain coming out of my thumb. I called Val (my sophomore roommate and current neighbor) to come and give me a second opinion. She gracefully started with getting me some pain reliever...she is so smart!

Then we decided to go to urgent care...mostly because of the depth of the cut...and the brain coming out of my thumb. Once there we got right in (again she is so smart to go there instead of the ER). The Doctor said the brain matter was really fat....who knew. He also said that once you cut into that layer it is time to get stitches. Seven stitches and only 30 MINUTES later I was on my way home.

So the pain in horrible, but wow what a story...and because it is my left thumb I can still type! Which means that I get to share my adventure with you!!!

Back...Back I say...Stay on that side of the line

As a single woman I feel really....um...what is the right word....guarded about my interaction with married men. I know there is a line and I don't want to cross it. For most of my interactions I find that this isn't difficult. Married men know there is a line and guard themselves as well.

Let me take a minute to thank those men for never making me feel awkward!

So today I had a married man run past the line and I wanted to yell "Back...Back I say". He told me in a flirtation way that he admired a quality of mine and then said, "Maybe I married the wrong woman".

Uh no..no you don't get to say that. I have been single for all these years and you had your chance to choose. You picked her, there was a party and presents and lots of time to think it through before...before you made a commitment.

Commitment...do you need to go back to the dictionary to look up that word. I am pretty sure that it would say that you don't get to flirt with other women and muse over what if.

There were so many things I wanted to say in that moment...instead I laughed said,"I am sure your WIFE has many many qualities to admire" and then ended the conversation.

My dear friends hug your husbands and thank them for knowing where the line is!

Sick Advice

So I have been sick...so I thought I would blog about it. After hours and hours of drinking water, broth, juice, soup and or any other type of liquid wanted to know why we have to take in liquid when we are sick.

Here is some advice I found:

Stay at home - You should avoid contact with others as much as possible and stay away from work or school while the infection is contagious. Why is it that you have to be sick before everyone is okay with you avoiding society? Why don't I get to stay home when I am well enough to do something useful? Why is it I only ask this question when I am sick?

Rest - You will probably feel very weak and tired until your temperature returns to normal. Resting will provide comfort and allow your body to use its energy to fight the infection. You can't do it all...if you are working, cleaning house or even chatting with friends it is likely that you are wasting energy that could help you feel better...but it my save your sanity.

Drink plenty of fluids - Extra fluids are needed to replace those lost through sweating due to fever. If your urine is dark, you need to drink more. Try to drink a glass of water or juice or an equal amount of some other fluid every hour while you are awake. Okay serious...8oz an hour. I try to drink 64oz a day anyway. But I probably double that when I am sick. First of all I am not awake as much and yet I am getting about 128oz...that is 16 hours of fluid...but I know I am not awake that much...which is why I think I feel a little like a sprinkler bursting at the connection than a person when I have been drinking fluids for a couple hours.

Take simple pain relievers such as ibuprofen (in doses as recommended on the package) to ease your muscle pain and bring down fever (unless your doctor says otherwise). I have had major body aches with this flu...in fact after overdoing it on Saturday night I felt like I could barely move...and even though I wanted to take more than perscribed I had self control and only took the recommend amount. I had a couple soda crackers with my meds...this helps my tummy and soaks up some of the massive amounts of water I take with my meds...because you are supposed to drink 'plenty of liquids'.

Here are some personal tidbits of advice.
1. Tell your mom...this just makes you feel better, who knows why.
2. Soup is just one way to get your liquids and a little bit of protein.
3. If anyone asks if they can help you could always ask for movie you haven't seen to save on your budget...since you aren't working and will have to use vacation time if you have any.
4. A good book, the audio version works if you really feel like all you can do is lay there (local libraries can be helpful with this)
5. Shower at least every other day...it will make you feel better, and you won't be so embarrassed when someone stops by to check up on you.

Feel better my friends!

Celebration of Love

For Valentine's Day this year I took Heather and her family out to Lunch. Lunch with Ben and Sam is always something to remember. We went to Red Robin...Idaho Falls newest resturant. My sister and I secretly, or not so secretly, love the freckled lemonade. We put our names on the list and then went to target to pass the time. I learened that Pokemon has been replaced by Bodigone...I know I spelled it wrong. Anyway they are this little balls that transform into some type of fighting machine...LOL...boys toys today haven't changed much.

Then I got all my stuff together and went to babysit my brother kids so he and April could share a night out. We had a heart shaped pizza for dinner. Heather came over with the boys and we made special Valentine's for Grandma and Grandpa and Ben and Ellia (and her doll Wendy) went to deliver them accross the street. It was so much fun. We finished our little party with special cookies and milk.

After a week of the flu it took a toll on my body, but it was a good day. I am very lucky to have so many little poeple to share my love with. Their hugs and kisses made the day even better!

PS they all got little valentines from Aunt Jen, the best was Ethan in his new Superman PJs!

Happy Valentine's Day!

This valentine's day I am loving my nieces and nephews. They bring so much joy into my life! Here is a list of how each of them are special to me.

Ben is my hisotrian, he can remember anything from anytime (he keeps me check)

Jarom is my big squeeze. He comes up and I say how much do I love you and then hug him really tight and say this much!

Caleb Michael is my flirt I think he has pretend gotten married more times than I can count.

Caleb Matthew is my all american boy...and is a quite and steady.

Conner is my cuddle man...he is the best cuddler in the world.

Brooklyn is my spice. You always know where you stand with Brookie

Sammy is the funny one. I can't even tell you why, but he always makes me laugh.

Ellia is my shadow. She is easy going but loves attention.

Kadee is my Angel. She brings peace to the family and a promise of forever.

Ethan is my muffy! You would have to know him to understand

Blain is my baby, he is getting big to fast.

Sarah is my smile, she is so presious and brings a smile to everyone...even if she is smiling because she has gas.

They are my reason for living, and they give me a place for all the love that I have to give.