Overrated, Part Two

Remember this post? Since I wrote it I have thought of some more stuff that everyone loves for reasons that I don't understand. And I thought that I would share that list with all of you:


OK, so Jack’s tunes aren’t cringe worthy or anything (unless you count Bubbly Toes and that one where he gets all sappy about newscasters), but to me they’re just kind of blah. Every time I listen to his music I’m thinking “dude, I get it. You’re from Hawaii and you want everyone to mellow out. Can you sing about something a little more interesting now?” I guess what I’m trying to say is this: if guitar-strumming troubadours were ice cream flavors, Jack Johnson would be vanilla and Mason Jennings, Matt Costa, and Brett Dennen would be the chocolate, strawberry, and praline pecan of the bunch. And I have always claimed that life is too short to eat plain vanilla ice cream.

Pat’s Barbecue
I really want to like this place, mostly because I have heard it talked up by no less than Guy Fieri, but the meal I ate there was decidedly sub-par. The ribs were tough and chewy, the baked beans tasted of pure vinegar, and even the coleslaw was off. It was a weekday night so maybe Pat’s was not playing their A-game, but I think I will stick with Joe Morley’s next time the carnivore in me demands some attention.

Sex and the City


This show is pretty and all, but I have a really hard time understanding why so many women are obsessed with it, seeing as all the characters drive me absolutely crazy. If the modern single woman is indeed as one-dimensional, shallow, and self-indulgent as these four, then I say give me the homely spinsters of yesteryear. I would recommend watching it on mute so you can still see all the fun clothes and New York hot spots but avoid listening to the drivel that spills out of everyone’s mouths.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s move on to the stuff that really is as cool as people claim it is:

TOMS shoes

Since my style can usually be described as anywhere between “casual” and “homeless chic” (I wore birkenstocks in my engagement pictures), these shoes are a godsend: comfortable, stylish, and essentially slippers elevated to shoe status. There is a reason that everyone and their dog is wearing them these days. Plus for every pair of shoes you buy, TOMS donates a pair to a child in need. All the more reason to add these and these to my collection.

Food, Inc.
You’ve probably heard about this movie from at least five people you know and read about it on many a blog. And if you still haven’t seen it you really should. This documentary, although a bit melodramatic at times, is a really comprehensive look at the food industry in America. In a sense, it completes the project that films like Supersize Me and books like Fast Food Nation started. Even if it doesn’t convince you to eat less meat or buy organic, I think it’s still empowering to know where your food comes from. And for those of you that have seen this and are interested in learning more, I would recommend reading Michael Pollan’s books. His In Defense of Food is what got me interested in this topic in the first place.

Glee
Sometimes the cheesiness of this show makes me want to bury my face in the couch cushions, yet I can’t help but love it. The awesome musical numbers, coupled with over-the-top characters and crazy plotlines, make for quite the feel-good hour of television. And can we all just agree that Sue Sylvester is one of the greatest TV characters ever created? See below if you need convincing:







I rest my case.

A long post that is plagiarized

I wish I could give credit where credit is due, but unfortunately I received this in an email forward that didn't say who wrote it. I think it's pretty funny, though.
Enjoy:

Random Thoughts from People Our Age

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. That's enough, Nickelback.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16. Was learning cursive really necessary?
17. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
20. My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart.”
22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
24. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
25. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
26. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
27. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
28. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
29. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
30. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
31. I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
32. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
33. Bad decisions make good stories.
34. Whenever I'm Facebook-stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
35. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier and sluttier every year?
36. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
37. Why is it that during an icebreaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
38. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
39. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
40. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
41. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
42. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
43. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
44. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
45. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
46. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
47. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
48. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
49. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
50. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
51. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
52. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
53. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
54. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
55. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?
56. It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
57. I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
58. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
59. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.

ramble ramble ramble

Not really in the mood to put together a coherent blog post today, but it’s Friday in cubicleland and I’m bored so here we go:

I’ve realized that I miss poetry. After graduating from college I stopped reading it but last night I looked into my old Norton Anthology and found some Langston Hughes and my heart ached a little with the beauty of it all. And then I thought of one of my favorite poems, introduced to me by my sophomore English teacher, and got goosebumps just remembering the last two lines. I think I’m going to start reading a poem a night. It’s good for the soul.

Remember how I was all excited for One Shining Moment? Well, this year Jennifer Hudson sang it. Worst three minutes of my life.

Birthing stories fascinate me to no end. The gorier and more detailed the better. In fact, I even started stalking a friend of a friend’s blog after I saw that she is training to be a midwife and tells these stories routinely. Creepy I know. And I netflixed The Business of Being Born and watched the whole thing even though it showed Ricki Lake’s boobs and other sights that pushed my desire to have children back another five years. I’m beginning to think I have some serious issues.

My husband doesn’t think that Heidi Klum is “all that pretty.”

I’m going to start searching the house for that crack pipe he is obviously smoking.

Every couple of days I get Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas” stuck in my head, even though I don’t really know the words and have only heard it a handful of times. This is one of the great mysteries of my life.

Improv Everywhere makes me feel happy:

I’ve been straightening my hair lately and a co-worker recently informed me that my new hairstyle makes me look like Cher. Huh.

Well, that’s all I got. Hope everyone is having a fabulous Friday!