Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. We went to St. George, so it wasn't a white Christmas, but I think my parents loved watching the kids come down the stairs again and it was great that Boston and Jack (my sister Hayley's little boy) could play together. They just love each other.

We actually started our adventure Wednesday evening with our traditional Feast of the 7 Fish's dinner at my Mother in-laws. We usually do this on Christmas Eve, but since we were going to be out of town we celebrated a day early. It was so yummy and something I look forward to every year. MaryAnn made wonderful clam chowder and a seafood pasta, I made a salmon and mozarella salad and we had sushi and crab legs. If you like seafood, it is heaven. We opened presents with that side of the family that night. Boston got his beloved Wall-E that interacts and lights up and opens to reveal the trash he has collected. Boston was so happy. Jocelyn was spoiled with all sorts of toys and clothes. I recieved a pasta maker attachment for my Kitchen Aid that I am super excited about. We slept over at MaryAnn's which was fun since we never do that. MA made us yummy french toast and then we were off to Sunny St. George.

Ofcourse Jocelyn screamed her pretty little head off most of the way, so we stopped 3 times and it took us much longer than it should have. Boston just puts on his headphones and tries to tune her out and watch his movies.

We had a delicious Christmas eve dinner that ofcourse my Mom slaved over all day. Homemade ravioli, spanikopita, rice pudding for dessert.

Our kids were up at the crack of dawn to see what Santa brought, as usual. Boston got the Mountain Skeleton Dinosaur toy (Imaginext) he's been asking for for months. Jocelyn got two new babies and her first little doll house. Boston also got tons of games and movies and when they get home I told them Santa dropped one toy off at our house and they are getting a PowerWheels Viper. ( we just couldn't fit it in to take to St. George, which is sad because it was there main present!) My Mom and Dad got Boston a Leap Frog Zippity and Jocelyn got the cutest rocking horse I have ever seen. Yes, my kids are spoiled..I know. (My justification is always..we are only having two kids..so I get to spoil them!!)

My sister Hayley made a wonderful Ham dinner that evening and the kids had so much fun playing with all of Jack's toys and his Guinea Pig, Sprinkles. Saturday we shopped with Christmas money we recieved and exchanged a few things for sizes and just played all day with the new Christmas stuff. That evening my parents treated us to dinner at Pier 49. We went over to Dairy Queen after for ice cream. Boston usually won't even give ice cream a chance, but he took some licks and then when he accidentally got some on his chin he said "I'm like Santa Clause..ho ho ho!!" It was so funny, and then he kept doing it and he and Jack laughed themselves silly. Then my parents took Jocey home for bed and we took the boys to The Chipmunks Squeaquel. It was pretty good and the boys loved it. Jack kept saying "Hey Boston!" during the movie and at one point he kept kissing Boston on the head. They just love each other. In fact at one point during our stay Boston asked me "can I touch Jack?" (I had told him previously don't touch Jack, because he tends to get too up in his face.) This time I said, "Yes, go give him a big hug." and he did.

Another highlight of the trip was the hunt for a "Temple Toy." For weeks Boston has been asking for a Temple Toy. He has developed a bit of an obsession with the temples; I know most 3 year olds are not into that..but what can I say, Boston is unique and celestial and just so sweet. My Mom searched everywhere for a "Temple Toy" with no luck. To be specific he would say "Santa bring a temple toy, the St. George temple with an Angel on top!" He was really really sad that Santa didn't bring him a temple toy for Christmas. At one point big crocodile tears started streaming down his face and his innocence broke my heart. With every present he would say "It's gonna be a temple toy!" Needless to say, the day after Christmas we were on a hunt for a temple toy. My Grandma Cash had lent him this beautiful porcelein replica of the Salt Lake Temple which he loved, but I was so nervous he would brake it that I had to find a plastic substitute. He kept saying "Bossy build the temple and put the angel on top!" so I ended up finding him this Lego Princess Castle that I convinced him he could build into a temple and put the little person it came with on top as the angel. I don't think he was thrilled with the fact that it was pink and purple, but my pursuading worked and then he kept saying "I found it! I found a temple toy!"

Sunday we took off..leaving the kids behind with my parents until they come up Wednesday for some family parties up here!! It was so weird driving home and I don't know what to do with myself, so I have been cleaning like a mad woman!! It's nice, but I miss those little darlings dearly!!

What a wonderful time this is. Boston reminded me truely what Christmas is about, not the temples, but being pure of heart. My children are so pure and sweet and innocent. I feel so lucky to be their Mom.

We hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas.

Mozart and the Whale

I made JT watch a movie with me the other night. We don't offend watch entire movies together unless we are in the theater; otherwise I always fall asleep about 30 min in. This film had such an impact on me that I just had to post something about it. I know I tend to talk about this subject a lot, so if your not interested, you can stop reading now. Sometimes I just have to get it out.

Mozart and the Whale is based on a true story about a couple who both have aspergers (like Boston.) It stars Josh Hartnett (so glad they picked someone cute for the role and he did an awesome job.) Although it ended well and overall had a really positive message it was so hard to watch. You hear a lot about kids with aspergers and autism these days, but not a lot is out there about adults. It was great in giving hope that people with aspergers can have relationships and jobs and lives. It was painful to see how hard it will be for him to make friends or to ever have a relationship. It killed me to see the main character in a job interview unable to make eye contact with the employer. My heart sank when the female character tried to kill herself. It's so easy really now with Boston only being 3. If he says something weird, I can just pass it off as he's 3, he's learning the ropes of the world. It won't be so easy when he is 15. When he is grown I won't constantly be there by his side prompting him how to interact with people. He is such a happy kid most of the time (except for when he has his classic meltdowns.) I get worried that the smile will fade when he gets in school and actually realizes he is different.

I know we all have our sob stories. We all have trials, but this is our families and this is my blog. I take it particularly personally because I had such a difficult time making friends in school. Infact I still have a hard time. I will never forget recess at school. Hiding in the corner watching the other kids play. Most kids love recess time. I Hated recess and gym. It almost makes me sick to think about it. I had Selective Mutism until I was 10 and wouldn't speak at all in social situtaions. I remember the kids coming up to me and taunting me to say my name or how old I was. Then when I did start to talk at school I didn't know how to act and was super obnoxious because I thought that's what the cool kids did. It wasn't so cool for me. I remeber on one of my first dates the boy wanted to sit in the back with my friend on the way home. I didn't date much. I am so glad JT came along and stuck around.

To think that Boston could have it even harder breaks my heart every time I think about it. It makes me never want to send him to school and to shelter him for the rest of his life. I want to tell the kids to be nice to him and tell girls to give him a chance someday. I don't want him to have to fight his own battle.

It may sound like I am complaining, but really I'm not. I have come to this profound realization lately of how grateful I am for this challenge. Boston is amazing. One of the biggest misconceptions people offend have is how smart he is. They hear autism and they think he is dumb, actually he's very very very smart. He picks up on all the academic stuff so quickly that it amazes me. It's the social skills stuff that is so hard for him. I know that his smarts will change the world. I can just feel that he will do something big. He is who he is and I wouldn't change him for the world. He is such a tease and so loving and sweet and funny. I just want the other kids to see this side of him. I guess you could say I want to change the world, not Boston.

Thank you to everyone who continues to send there children over to our house, to those of you who have invited him to birthday parties or invited Boston over to play. It means so much to me and I never take these experiences for granted. That's the biggest blessing in all of this. I cherish every time I see him having fun with a friend.

It you are interested in knowing any more about Asperger's or Autism I highly suggest you check out Mozart and the Whale. It's a great one. Or just come talk to me; I'm pretty much an encycolpedia on the subject.

Snow Day with Mommy

To My Mommy

My sister just posted about my Mom. I don't mean to copy her, but I need to pay tribute to this wonderful lady as well. She turned 52 yesterday. She is amazing. Amazing.

My Mom is my rock. I talk to her every day. I mean every day. If I don't talk to her, it just feels weird.

I really have to hand it to her. I think about what she has gone through with me all the time. My Mom was 23 when I was born. She developed toximia or pre-eclampsia as some call it. She had to quit her job (on a young couple's tight budget, we all know how this is.) and lay in bed rest for weeks. She finally delivered me at 29 weeks, delivering a 2lb 2 oz. baby that she couldn't even see for 3 days. Not a great introduction to motherhood. She then brought me milk every single day for 2 1/2 months while I was in the NICU. That should be enough in and of itself.

I was a difficult child. Really difficult child. I was probably even a harder teenager. When I think of the things my parents went through with me it makes me sick to think I could ever go through any of that with my kids. I have even been a difficult adult. Often times I think my Mom probably really doesn't like me, but I always know she Loves me. There's just that unconditonal love you have for your kids no matter where the journey takes you. She has definately shown that to me.

She was so good to us as kids. Always making birthday's and Christmas special even if they didn't have much money. She would do extra haircuts and save her money from that to make sure we had whatever we needed and wanted. We always had great school clothes, again because of my Mom saving her pennies.

She is an amazing cook and we always had great family dinners every night. She read to us and sang to us every night. I remember reading Boston his first story and the tears streaming down my face because those were the most tender moments with my Mom. She would read and read until her eyes got so droopy she'd skip a page or something and I'd make her start the whole book over.

I love her so much. My kids are so so lucky to have her as a Grandmother. She sends them special packages in the mail and sees them a couple times a month even though she lives 4 hours away. She takes the kids so we can escape all the time.

She is simply the best and I hope she has nothing but happiness this year.

Santa

My Mom had this little dream of having all 3 Grandchildren sitting on Santa's lap, smiling and whispering in Santa's ear, for her Christmas card. Honestly...what was she thinking? My children? I don't think so! Hayley's little boy was angelic, his pictures are perfect. Boston was excited about the whole thing, until it came down to it. His social anxiety set in and as soon as he saw Santa he stammered from a 3 foot distance "NO TRANSFORMERS!" Ok I said, "Now tell Santa what you do want." I could see the nerves written all over his face. He started to stutter. "da da da da Wall-E" "okay" I said, "tell him what else you want." (knowing he'd be disappointed later if he didn't get it all out.) keeping his 3 foot distance the stuttering continued, his eyes wide, "da da da da da da skeleton dinosaur." and with that he was off, running away from Santa and back to my parents and JT. At one point Santa did get a "knuckles" from him though, which was pretty good. We just plopped Jocelyn onto the Jolly Man's lap, but the stranger danger immediately set in and the tears started flowing, along with the squirming that only my petite little princess is capable of. Santa said "you'd better take her!" and with that, this is what my Mom got for her Christmas pictures.