why I might need mental health assistance

Okay, lets start with this:

One day we decided to throw out all the old toys. We found an Ariel head, you know the ones you can do their hair? Well, Em decides to cut her hair to look like hers. Only it doesn't look so great so she decides to just give her a hack job. Then she decides to take her out and shoot BB's at her.

next is this...

Em decides to take a walk to the stables. I make her take my phone.

About 15 minutes later I get a call:

"MOM! Bring me a bag, quick! I found a nest and I think it might have a bird in it"

The mental heath issue I have is that I jumped in the car and brought her a bag so she could bring this home:

As cute as this may be he wanted to climb higher. I made him come down.

This is a picture of Em. She claims that it was really cold out and her nose turned red.

There really isn't anything wrong with this picture, I just wanted to post it because I just got a pedicure and I like how my foot looks.

The reason for this post comes from these next few pictures.

Have you ever been to Bath and Body and seen the soap they have in a can? This year it was Gingerbread spice and Gilly got a can for Christmas.

I walk in the bathroom to find this.

What I think is an entire can is squirted out on the floor.

I laughed a little and told him to clean it up. Then I told him that its a terrible waste and the reason we are in a global warming crisis is because little boys like you are using up entire cans of squirt soap in one bathing. Then I walked out.

When I walked back in a few seconds later this is what I found.

AGAIN

Turns out it wasn't the entire can in the first picture. Just half.

Can you see him hiding behind the curtain?

need a closer look?

oh, yeah. He knows he's in trouble

Thank goodness I have this guy to keep me sane.

Abbys Birthday and a whole lotta other stuff...

We celebrated Abigails 11th Birthday on Wednesday. Every day for the last three weeks its been this: Abby, what do you want for your Birthday? Only to be met with a shrug and a smile. I searched online, shopped every store to find the perfect gift that wasn't crap or a stuff animal. Guess what? Couldn't find it till the Monday before when I awoke with a start at 2 AM.

So we got her lots of clothes, jewelry, and....

a docking station for her Ipod.

She loved it all and her favorite part was being checked out of school (before math) to get a manicure (and not have math homework that night) (the entire math thing came to me in a dream).

Emily has been in heaven for the last two nights...one night we ate at Applebees for Abby, the next night at Texas Roadhouse for Grandpa.

Both places serve ribs.

She is saving the bones to make a necklace.

Jeff is out racing his #1 love of his life: his road bike.

okay, I'll give him some credit, I don't REALLY feel this way but he is pretty much in love with his bike. I mean, he makes me scoot way over so he can bring it to bed.

And I am preparing to spend 4 days at the Ritz Carlton. No kids. Jeff in meetings half the day and a spa that I plan on visiting.

I'll admit....I kinda wanted to bring the kids.

What is wrong with me?

My Rabbit

Today my kids were asking for a rabbit. A bit of a surprise because animal requests usually fall in the form of a wiener dog or a horse or a chameleon (Garrett). This request made me smile as I thought of my rabbit that I had at the age of 5. His name was Junior. Abby asked why I picked that name...well, here we go:

He was named after my favorite actor Denver Pyle.

Don't recognize the name?

Here is his picture

Is it coming to you yet?

There, does that ring a bell?
You see, even at the age of 6 I was in love with old people.
I only liked Uncle Jessie cause he was nice and I felt bad for him and he wore overalls like my favorite grandpa Ru (who liked me best. He gave me nickels from his plastic coin wallet but he only gave them to me, Sorry siblings to break the news to you this way).
Now, don't get me wrong...I loved Luke Duke (not Bo, bleh, he was too femmie) in a carnal way but Uncle Jessie had my heart.
And Daisy?
Harlot galore.
There wasn't a Friday that went by that I wasn't glued to the television watching that show.
For some reason I got the names Junior and Uncle Jessie mixed up but hey, I was six.
Those poor rabbits though.
You see we had a big Doberman Pincher named Thor.
Don't even ask me why because those are the most ferocious animal alive and he scared the poop right out of me several times.
He scared Junior too.
After Daisy (Micheles rabbit, see we loved D of H!) had her babies and ate them (talk about traumatizing. Why did she eat them? We never found out, I guess thats a question I'll carry to the grave) we accidentally left the rabbit pen door open.
They went for a midnight hop.
Thor had a midnight snack.
The carnage is forever imprinted on my mind.


Heres to you Junior.
And Uncle Jessie.
I hope your both in Heaven frolicking with Boss Hog.

What?

Funniest thing ever...I'm still laughing.

I volunteer in Garretts class daily. I'm there at the start of class.

Today they talked about the President.

The first question was, "do you know who the President is?"

They answered, "OBAMA!"

Then one of my favorite kindergartners (besides Gilly) said, "Yeah, he's the guy that keeps taking money from my mom and dad!"

Even for an Obama lover that was funny.

FOUND:

My camera was in my purse.

Now I just need to locate that battery charger.....