The Draft

Well, it's a boy.

I was so nervous about the health of this baby, I thought I was going to have diarrhea on the drive to the doctor. But the baby is healthy and well. Brandon and I both saw it was a boy before the doctor mentioned it. We both thought it was a girl so we were shocked.

I was set on a sister for Anika, not having to change up the nursery or buy new clothes. Didn't this baby realize I have a pair of pink converse in every size? I have to start from scratch now but I'm getting really excited. At least blue is my favorite color.

Driving around town, running errands today I kept tripping out on men. I can't believe I'm going to raise a son. Into a man. I fear the unknown. I fear internet pornography, my family's alcoholic genes and the draft. This whole son thing seems very foreign and scary to me. A boy? Really?

Today's visit was a mere $708. Last month's visit was $446. Also awaiting the lab's maternal serum test bill. C R I N G E.

Better pick some more pine nuts this weekend. (Anika thinks Daddy has been going pineapple picking.)

Williams - Digital Painting

I drew and painted all of these using Adobe Illustrator. I love that program. Thanks to my friend Andy (a professional artist for Sony) for teaching me so many tips and tricks.

Prince Valium

I gave Anika one of my famously hideous haircuts today. This one was so bad, I had to take her immediately to the salon for a 911 fix. The last time we attempted the salon, it ended in tears but even she knew she needed help this time and sat perfectly still. I don't think she even breathed. The girl had to take it extra short to fix my chop-job.

All I can think when I look at her is Prince Valium, my goodness, it's Prince Valium. I even taught her the big yawn with tapping hand.

Just trying to prepare you for the next time you see her. She's still as cute as a button, though. Phew, at least now I know she is willing to go to the salon. I am so sick of repeating my signature mistake... the Lloyd Christmas bangs. Cut when dry. Cut when dry.

Pregnant Tin Man

I wish I had some good photos to share. Anika and I went to California last week but didn't take the camera because Brandon was going to Boulder Mountain and he thinks the fish photos are more exciting than photos of his firstborn playing in her first tide pools. It turned out we returned in time to see him for one night before he left for his big trip.

We went to Newport to Cara's first and had a grand ol' time. Cara has floor to ceiling and wall to wall windows in both rooms of her house, with a view of the bay. Gorgeous. We went shopping for Anika and myself (maternity clothes). Anika rode her first escalator and realizing that made me feel like we were visiting from Amish country. She also saw her first motorized carriage... I think they call them automobiles. We visited Jake at his work, the Apple store. That place is insane, they have about forty employees on the floor at the same time. Me, apparently Amish, hadn't seen such a thing. The whole experience made me realize how little I get out these days.

After a few days we headed to Lake Arrowhead to Andrea's house. What can I say? It was heavenly. Cold mornings, crisp fall weather. I even had a candy apple by the lake in the village with the wind in my hair. And what of this extended dose of 100+ in St. George? F word! I need four seasons, people.

What else?

Anika is loving preschool. And loving ballet class even more. She says, "no more preschool, just ballet class." She went to school without looking back, didn't act scared at all. The second day a boy cried and that made her cry. Then she was terrified to go back and came up with all sorts of creative ways to solve her crying boy problem. For instance:

Mom, can you change the crying boy into a ball with Daddy's tools and I will bounce him?

Mom, I will drive you to preschool and I will say, "bye, have a nice day!"

Mom, can you change all the boys and girls into animals so they don't cry?

Mom, can you bring the vacuum and suck up my preschool? (One day I was walking her in to preschool and she was yelling, "suck it up! suck it up!" A few Moms shot me disapproving glances when it dawned on me they must have assumed I had told her to 'suck it up' and go to school. Nope, just my child's active imagination thinking I could vacuum up her entire school. She really believes these things are possible. Should I be worried?)

Can you blow it with your fire extinguisher? (She even went as far as getting the extinguisher out of the closet.)

Her morning prayers went like this... "...and bwess the boy that he turns into a ball. And bwess he doesn't come out..."

I could go on and on with the things she was imagining to do. When I took her back, she barged in and announced through hot tears and at the top of her lungs, "Hey kids! Are you going to be happy today?" As long as everyone is happy, so is she. The crying boy dropped out so now everything is peachy again.

And what else?

I'm a big girl. Apparently on our trip I gained five pounds. (gasp!) I can't do this again. Sure with Anika I gained a respectable fifty but I started out in shape! I can't possibly put fifty on with this one because I started out the biggest of my life. I will be a linebacker before this is through if I don't really start watching it. I had to buy a new sports bra for the gym...unfortunately, my boobs don't get huge like Nicole's. They fail to impress but what doesn't fail to impress is my expansion of back fat, thus the new bra.

Which brings me to my next highly interesting topic. You know how there's always certain couples that make you gag if you accidentally visualize them having sex? (Yes, I'm going to talk about this.) I recently realized that couple is me and B. Quick, hurry, wince, whatever you do don't accidentally visualize it. But you know you just did. I'm sorry. We're that couple where the woman is a linebacker, dwarfing the man and you can't help but think oh that poor, sweet waif of a man, he's gonna get crushed. Precious does Rain Man, anyone?

I'm so looking forward to and planning on getting my body back. It's not so much the skinny thing as it is the feeling thing. I miss feeling strong and flexible and arabesqueing my way around house chores. I feel stiff and large and brittle like the hull of an old pirate ship, agile as its peg-leg captain. I feel like a pregnant tin man and whilst vacuuming the stairs the other day paused to exclaim, "What is this strange beating sensation?!" Your heart, big laaaady!!! It was almost exercise.



Ultrasound on Thursday. I'm terrified. Please be healthy and perfect.

I think it's a girl.

I'm out.

Were you a nanny?

A friend of a friend of mine wants to be a nanny back East and needs help finding a family. Do you have any tips? Agency ideas? I can't remember the agency I went through so I'm no help to her. Leave a comment if you have some ideas. Thx.

Motivation

Shoveling maneuver sounds like a dream. Q and I were educated about strategic foreclosures yesturday. Hmmmm. Ug, but hmmmmm none-the-less. So this is what I look like. I actually spent five minutes looking at this picture trying to figure how to photoshop a large portion of me out of it. Can't. When is this nursing thing going to kick in? Shysters I don't recognize my body! ...but, I'm not depressed anymore. I had a momentary lapse is all. Feeling hopeful. Had a good hair day. That helps. Great drawings Ci. Makes me want to so something creative. Alana: Know what you're having yet? Those gap nighties are a dream. Is it so so terrible that I've had my thank you cards written for two months but haven't mailed them yet? That's all.

Williams - Painting Class

This is what I have been up to the last few weeks. My friend Melissa wanted me to post some of my work. I just finished a painting class for school. 4 more classes to go and I graduate on December 18th. I don't claim to be an expert painter or artist but I had fun nonetheless. It was hard work though.

Floral Study - completed at Kelli's house while visiting.

Interior drawing - completed at Kelli's while visiting.

Egg

Still Life

Monochromatic Still Life

Another Still Life - I got tired of doing these. I ran out of things to paint because I have no knick knacks.

Duplicating another artists landscape.

Yet another Still Life. This was my favorite one that I painted. We had to paint with only two complementary colors and mix them to create other colors. It was fun.

Attempting a portrait of Sage. This was a fun one too. I couldn't get the eye's right though. Sage told me it looked just like her except she said the eyes were all wrong.

Duplicating Claude Monet's "Sunrise" painting. I love Impressionism. It is much harder to duplicate than I ever imagined.

Too much FAT, too little MONEY

Today I had my first depressing day in 10 months. It's not post-partum or anything to do with Annie- for some reason when I'm prego and after, I get the giggles all the time and feel like I'm on happy gas.

Nope. Today I was depressed over two things: Fat and money. I have too much of one and too little of the other. Can you guess which is which?

I really had to calm myself down several times. "It's fine Nicole. You're fine Nicole."

But then I kept going back to how upside down we are in our mortgage and the 70,000$ we would have had to buy a new home if...

...if
...if
...if.

So I got depressed.

I have a small car. I have to pull the seat all the way forward to fit Annie.
There is no AC in the back.
Plus- I have to park it in a HOT parking lot which makes it way hard to go out with Annie.
It sucks.

so then I got depressed again.

And I wondered: what would it be like to park my car in a garage.
I could almost survive my small Honda if I could park it in a garage.

So then I got depressed again.

I kept telling myself not to swear inside my head but then I kept thinking about how tired I am of telling myself not to swear in my head. I hate it.

Then I made things way worse: I tried on pre-prego pants with zippers.

It was bad.

Real Bad.

...and Q. Oh Q.

...........................................................So today I was depressed.




But Annie is a dream. Loads of smiles. Took her to Swiss Days and drowned my sorrows in a mulita from Irmitas and two cookies. It didn't help much.

Wish I could drown all my sorrows in a big fat SOLD sign.

Someone make me feel better. I may cry.

This is funny.

Williams - Nora Photo Shoot

We spent the last 10 days at Kelli's house in Denver. Callie is two weeks old and they are moving so we went to help them pack and keep her kids busy. We had a fabulous time. While we were there, Kelli took some photos of Nora and the kids. Click on the link below to see some of the photos. Nora is now 8 months old. Where did the time go?

http://eudisfamnews.blogspot.com/2010/09/my-big-sister.html

Just when I was getting used to the pajama-like track suits.