Guns, Thugs and Thieves

Most of us live our days in an illusion that we are safe. Safe from random violence, safe from bad events, safe from severe health issues. I tend to have less denial than most, yet on Friday evening and during the a.m. hours of Saturday I had the illusion of safety ripped from my consciousness.

My 17yo came home around 11:25p.m. and told me he'd just had a gun held to his head.

I looked up and said, "Seriously?" (OK where's Ashton Kutcher and who's punkin' me?)

"Mom. These guys followed me from when I left gf's house. I turned into one of the neighborhoods and stopped at the stop sign(critical mistake). Four guys got out of the car, showed me a gun and gestured me to roll my window down. Then one guy punched me in my head." (My eyes kept growing huger and huger.) "They they got back into their car and squealed off."

"Let me see you face!" I inspected his bruised cheek/jaw area. "You need ice on that please."

Then the mom kicked in: "Did you get their license number? What kind of car were they driving? How many and what race were they? Did you think of calling 911?"

He placed an ice pack on his cheek, muttered about 60 "I dunnos" and said, "I just want to go to bed. My head hurts." (I wasn't surprised that his head hurt. Some thug just punched his face in!)
My brain was stunned into silence.(If you know me, you know my brain never ever stops. Never!) Holy shit. My kid was just beat up for no reason and there was a gun involved. What the hell?

I was on Plurk at the time and several Plurkie friends talked me down. I also called gf's parents to let them know.

Around 2:30a.m. I was trying to fall asleep when I heard a noise. I couldn't quite place it.

Suddenly my spouse and my 20 yo son clattered down the stairs, out the garage door and I realized I was hearing my older son's car alarm.

Holy shit times two, I can't believe my heart did not stop.

Spouse jumped in his car to search for attempted car thieves while I call the sheriff. The second question the 911 operator asked was, "Your spouse did not go out looking for them, did he?"

Older son was running around the neighborhood looking for random car thieves and the spouse was racing around in his Nazi(Mercedes) car doing the same.

(Testosterone filled the air with it's acrid smell and stomach turning effect on this common sense thinking mother.)

The sheriff came and took all deets plus several sets of prints, statements, etc. I noticed they had unscrewed our front light bulbs. There is a street lamp across the street as well so it wasn't all that dark.

Safety is an illusion. I hate it my illusions gets ripped apart.(Part of me is still wondering where this surrealism came from.)

Nursing school is easy peasy compared to guns, thugs and thieves.

Something I Never Thought I'd Say

DISCLAIMER: While soem of this is truly how I feel, there quite a bit of snark added to the tone...

After 2 days of watching television with the spouse, I am looking forward to studying pharmacology tomorrow. Sad, isn't it? I'd rather study for my pharm test that watch the most moronic, idiotic, and worthless television shows with my waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy to entertain spouse.

Watching Whale Wars on the Animal Planet wasn't too bad, even if the morons who went out at night in the ocean near Antarctica to mess with a Japanese whaling vessel did not die.

But the rescuing of animals in peril over humans pretty much made me want to blow my brains out with an AK-47. This was after switching from NCAA basketball to other stupid sports I find no interest in. Polar bears falling off of cliffs and computer recreations.............get me some ammo please. NOW.

Considering I'm a gun control freak might tell you how irked I truly am.

I have 5 chapters of pharm to read, 6 journal articles to review, one case study, 2 care plans and 2 patient evaluations to write and they all sound ever more fun than my descent into tv hell.

I do believe someone needs to update Dante's Inferno to include certain television shows. Seriously. I'm sitting here in disbelief that the person I procreated with is watching this purely imbecilic show. Oh the mistakes I've made in life are becoming clearer and clearer. Maybe I should apologize to my sons.

I pray you may never be compelled to watch a show that you'd rather gouge your eyes out that see. (rolling my eyes into my head with the hope they'll stay back there)

Spending The Night With Adam

Here I am. At home. With my spouse. Kids at their friends' houses because they have mothers who don't attend nursing school and therefore actually made a Thanksgiving dinner. ;)

Thas' right. I did not make dinner. If I had made dinner I would have to have gone grocery shopping first. Then I'd have to go turkey hunting. Next turkey butchering.
Pumpkin picking. Flour mill so I could bake fresh bread. Potato plucking and washing and peeling. I would have needed to find all my kitchen accoutrement in the boxes still in the living room since last February (not kidding !). Next I would have had to get up from the couch to prepare the meal to be cooked. Blahblahblah. Make a long story short~no turkey dinner here.

Just call me a terrible wife and mother. See if I care. :P

I am comfily sitting/half laying on my couch watching Adam Sandler in a movie I had never heard of until 8p.m.

My spouse is attractively crunching blue corn chips on the love seat(I can really see why I married such a studly chip cruncher(rolling my eyes)). I can hear the movie by just turning up the volume...snicker.

Back to being a studying, no life, project producing, care plan writing nursing student tomorrow. Or maybe Saturday, LOL.

Slowly Surfacing

After 24 hours with a fabulous migraine, my head is slowly starting to not hurt all over.

I will be spending my Wednesday at the hospital doing my delayed clinical. All of you who pray keep me in mind tomorrow, cuz I need all the help from above I can get. I'm not sure what floor I'll be on but I'll need lots of energy and intellectual verve and creativity. Thank ya'll. HUGGLES!

Then I will be doing lots of studying, research, writing and resting until Dec.1.

I wish everyone a lovely holiday if you're not online, I'll be here in between study sessions. :)

The Demons Must Be Exorcised!

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Migraine came by to cozy up with the sinus infection just in time to make going to my clinical tomorrow, difficult, if not impossible. Why do the gods of nursing hate me so?

If I cannot go tomorrow, hopefully I can make it up on Wednesday. If that doesn't work I happen to be in the market for an extremely sharp machete...

At this moment passing grades are my goal besides I'm burned out and in pain and hell just isn't much fun.

Coughing, Care Plans, and Crazed Nursing Student

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Now that there are only 2 weeks left in the quarter, the nursing student is being shoved into an industrial-sized fan. I fear this will leave me bloody and without a future.

Last week during my clinical day I was supposed to choose a patient, read the chart and grab all information and then take care of said patient and do an physical assessment. I messed up. I was given a patient from the head nurse and 2 hours before I was supposed to be there, took her chart and transcribed booku amounts of lab values, diagnoses, nursing notes, drugs and doses etc. I forgot to ask the patient for permission. When I did ask I got a resounding NO. It was now time for me to get to work on the floor so I had no time to find another patient chart. I did deal with another patient who was paranoid and manic but she wouldn't let me near her physically. Hence, I f'ed up BIG TIME.

My clinical grade is most likely below the 83% standard of passing.

I got an email today from my clinical instructor(to all of us actually) letting us know we need to do a full care plan(PAGES of crap) along with transcribing the chart and taking care of said patient. I cannot do my patient from last week because I screwed up. I will have to arrive at the hospital around 10am even though shift doesn't start until 3pm. I may not even get all the everlovin' idiotic paperwork done.

I went to the urgent care with my spouse yesterday as I had developed a nasty cough and a sinus infection. Yeah, headache, exhaustion and all.(I pretty much slept through the pharm lecture Friday cuz I felt so bad) I am now on horse pill antibiotics and when the doctor told me to rest, I laughed and coughed in his face! HA! I said. HA!

I have a written part of a presentation I need to write by tonight so I can send it to the group. I have a fundamentals test of theory of injections and catheters, skills I won't learn for months tomorrow(which is 6 chapters of reading I do believe). I have another presentation I have to work on about the addictiveness of
morphine drugs and how this is affecting society.

How nice my instructors are talking with one another to make sure we students have no life. Right. There is another clinical assignment worth 10% of our grade that hasn't been assigned but will need to be done by Dec 3. And another complete care plan for next week's clinical.

Please....

SHOOT ME NOW!!!!

Another Week Bites The Dust

Hello my five faithful readers! Greetings from the crazed nursing student zone!

My spouse was home all week.(10 seconds of silence) Um, yeah. He's been coughing and hacking and wheezing and generally being irritating. He's finally going to urgent care tomorrow(Thank you Lord). This is good. Now I won't have to kill him and bury him in the neighbor's back yard.(Like I'm stupid enough to bury him in OUR backyard?)

17yo +lurve+ shallow gf =way too much drama for me. It's been a roller coaster ride of anger, the depths of despair, self righteous behavior, the satisfaction of her apologizing profusely and making him a cake(this girl is no cook btw) and her asking him to Sadie's. Just reading that gives me a headache. :P to teen lurve.

My carpool partner is still making me clench my teeth. She is neurotic to the nth degree about her grades. When she asks how long it takes me to study and I tell her, she then insults me(unintentionally I hope) and says I do well because I understand English. Hold the phone.

When I took the reading test fo the program I read at the level of a Ph.D candidate, she read at a 12th grade level. Her score was related to her comprehension of English. Mine, on the other hand, just showed how brilliant I am. Snerk.

I happen to be studying and I don't get A's just because I speak the language. I had the urge to push her out of the car while I was driving 35mph again, nut I restrained myself.

I have always considered myself open minded and relatively color blind.....until TCPP(the car pool partner). The culture class between the Eastern half of the world and The Western Hemishere in IMMENSE and seems to be a chasm I cannot leap over.

Once again, may I say how very grateful I am to be a female born in American with all our rights and privileges. GO AMERICA!!!

I am still feeling kinda crummy but the five hour nap this afternoon and evening helped.

Germs, Go Away Until December 11!

I don't need this virus.

I don't need the raw throat or the overall crummy feeling.

I have classes. Clinicals. Projects. Tests. Finals. Presentations.

Stupid germs.

Go away until 12/11/08.

Please.

Just go away.

Etudier, etudier, et etudier

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Lots of studying going on as the quarter is nearing it's end. I have a test tomorrow. Case study Monday. Pharm test Monday. Two projects due 1st full week of December and let's not forget 5 article review for nursing delivery systems and a lab final and the usual finals, not to mention two more clinical dates with nursing plans to use on our patients.

My averages in pharm is 95% for qtr so far and 96% for fundamentals. The rest are up in the air.


Tell me the truth: Does anyone enjoy nursing school? Cuz my pals and I aren't having much fun.

Hugs and happy Thursday!!!!

Really BAD Day

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Chicken parts, my day sucked. I knew it wasn't going to be the best day when 17yo came down stairs at 1:00A.M. to tell me his gf broke up with him(they been playing this game for a few weeks now. OH MY GOODNESS THE DRAMA!!!)

I said he could sleep in and go to school a little late cuz I'm a sucker and I remember 17 very very well. I was dramatic myself just a smidgen.

I did not awaken until 10a.m. and 17yo missed the whole day of school where the gf apparently spent all day spreading mean and nasty rumors. By the time I got home at 10p.m. he wanted to leave Washington because his reputation is ruined. Cripes I wanna slap someone.

I left my house at 12 noon to go to hospital. We had to be early to pick a patient and get all the charted info written into our forms. I did one women who then refused to be treated by a student nurse. I was supposed to ask her first and I forgot. I screwed up. I detest when I mess up. So I did not have the proper paperwork for my instructor for aftercare conference.

I did get to interact with a woman who was interestingly delusional and paranoid. I heard all about her plans to sue her apt co. who illegally evicted her and her ungrateful yet loving children(depending in before or after dinner). I was a little overwhelmed but stayed neutral and asked how she took care of herself and her meds etc. It was a trip that left me with a tension headache. I never got her chart info nor would she let me near enough to do a physical assessment. The psych floor is very different from the medical floors.

Aftercare conference pointed out to everyone how badly I screwed up. My instructor gave me the evil eyes several times.

I walked into house with no groceries or drinks. Spouse was home all day yesterday and never made it to store. Today he did not make it to store either. No water, juice, milk, bread, anything edible. PLus extra large dust bunnies who'll eat us in our sleep. :P

I dealt with 17yo then stomped off to grocery store, pissed as heck. Wondering why I ever got married. Where was my extra support while I'm in nursing school, angry mutterings and on and on.

Projects due first week of December, test Thursday, Test Monday, clinical again Tuesday and then I keel over with a stroke.

Tomorrow

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Tomorrow is my second clinical. I'll be on geropsych again. I like it there and I get to work with Bruce who is officially the nicest person in our nursing class. He's also 6ft4inches so if any of the crazies try to take me out I know he has my back.

The National hospital accreditation committee is also at the hospital this week. I'm so glad I'm working evenings.

Hopefully my clinical teacher won't be major league stressed by tomorrow night.

I'm feeling a little anxious but I'm sure I'll get over that.

Today I sat through a thrilling lecture on a subject I cannot remember 12 hours later. Then we had 3 hours until a pharmacology lecture on adrenal meds. Next a quick test on abbreviations and their meanings and then I was out of there.

I'm not exactly sure why I am feeling out of sorts but people kept asking me what was wrong with me because I was so quiet. I just had nothing to say.

On my way home my carpool partner, in the US for all of 4 years, gave a lovely 20 minutes psychoanalysis on Barack Obama based on his 60 minutes interview and other media sightings. I bit my tongue to shreds.

Maybe I wrong but I was completely insulted. She postulated that he married his ugly(her words) wife because there was so much prejudice at the time they married so he couldn't find a prettier white woman. Yeah. I almost kicked her out of my car.

Yes, in her culture brains count for nothing in the marriage dowry game.

I did make a comment that sometimes one cannot help whom he falls in love with. Personally I think Michelle is attractive, fun and brilliant.

Then because he mentioned depression or they asked him a question, she asked me why he would be depressed. I'm like how would I know? So she told me it was because he grew up with no father or brothers and because his grandma just died. OKay Dr. Frueudhary.

What do you all think of this psychoanalysis?

I am surprised I wasn't drowning in my own blood. From nearly biting my tongue off. Who knew I could be diplomatic? Snort.

I remember what it is like being trapped in the car with an obnoxious toddler............

Wondering

I have spent many hours , in the past 22 years, why I ever got married. Today after a week of disliking each other immensely, I realized I have no clue why I got married. Worse I don't know why I'm staying married. The dude is driving me nuts.

The man who told me he wasn't sure I could make it in the nursing program because I quit too easy(??got me never figured that one out) and because I'm not in the best physical shape.

Fool, I have straight A's, got that? STRAIGHT A'S! Barely making the grade.

I have yet to harm anyone in clinical. I have not been kicked out because of my obnoxious personality.

Poor spouse. Even if I was miserable I wouldn't leave the program cuz I am proving your ass to be wrong, wrong, WRONG!

I am clueless when my spouse began to look at me as if I wasn't good enough. During the great Janice Grief depression? When we(constantly) disagreed on discipline for the boys. He says it's because I had to take alg 2 3 times.

Now a quitter would have only taken it once. I took it three times to get the grade I needed and I ended up with a 100% on the final. No failure when you pass the class and get your AA.

I feel like we're at war and I have idea why. But whatever I do or don't do(no winning here) I'll get fly by nasty comments. I don't know if he has other worries besides me but I am target central.

I never try to make him feel bad. Why does he do it to me?

How many months until August 2009? Where did all my support go?

Sleepy Saturday

This is exactly how Mount Rainier looks today. Covered with much snow, brightly white capped and seemingly harmless. If you tried to climb Rainier, you better be an expert ice/snow climber who knows exactly what they are doing. Or you end up falling into a glacier crevice, frozen to death or fall off a long steep cliff. It does look pretty in the distance.

Many things look different from their realities. One of those huge life lessons.

Have a peaceful and glorious Sunday my friends!!!

Week's End and Good Grades

Got my test scores back today. Stand back! 96% on the hardest pharm test yet and a 99% on my fundamentals tests. YEEHAW! I studied about 9 different topics for the fundamentals and the questions covered two. Frustrating.

At least my work is getting good results that makes me feel less useless. So much theory that we will probably not use in real life nursing. I did not know how much I liked concrete versus theory. At least in this subject.

I have an article review due Monday but nothing urgent so I will study when I feel like it this weekend.

I came home and slept for four hours today. I am astonished how exhausting thinking and drama can wear me out.

My grief has lessened, the crying helped. It usually does. Andria I am sure your niece has found many babies to cuddle and I know Brennan is whole in heaven as well. :)

I truly am thankful to have my internet friends to talk to and to give me feedback. I am not a nutso crazy mom who never moved on. I have moved on, mostly, it just visits now and again.

Love to you all. Peace and joy for your weekend. :)

I wonder...

I wonder why I watched ER tonight as it told the story of the new ER Chief and how her son died in the very ER she works in?

I know why tears are running down my cheeks...

I know I could relate to the character said she had wished to die so she could be with her son in heaven...

I wonder why I am becoming a nurse...

I wonder why I put up with baloney that comes with nursing school...

I continue to wonder why innocent pure children suffer every day...

I will always wonder...

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

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It's been a low kind of day. Even though it was 13 years ago, some days, here and there, the grief can still slam me to the ground.

The all day unceasing rain did not help.

At least it doesn't last very long anymore.

I should be fine by tomorrow or Friday. ;) HUGS to you all.

Ramblings of A Twisted Mind

The funny green thing up there is just a weird thing I like. Love it or click away.

I just wasted an hour of my life watching Extreme Loggers on the Discovery channel. Why?, you ask? Because my spouse secretly enjoys torturing me by watching inane, annoying and just plain stupid tv shows because he knows how much I detest what I call IQ lowering television. Some of us can afford to lose an IQ point or two, some of us can't.

I could have walked out of the room. Problem is there are few other places in my home besides my bedroom or my dining room to get away from the tv. My family room is the place I made comfy and an oasis in my world of testosterone dripping Y chromosomes. It's my ocean themed forget I'm in nursing school room. Too bad I have to share it.

The Y chromosomes only appreciate rooms where they can leave trash on the floor, scream into their headsets whiles playing IQ lowering games. Spouse doesn't leave trash, he just uses his passive/aggressive ways to irk me.

I'm training to be a nurse who will care for sick people. Does it make me evil if I want to shove a hose up my spouse's sinuses to clear them out so he'll stop coughing and snorting and gagging? He's driving me insane.

A part of my brain is asking myself why am I here? I can't answer. I don't know the answer.

I need to go read some more exciting info about sepsis, infection control measures, MRSA, c.difficile, the cycle of infection, the stages of inflammation and how the elderly deal with infection differently that the rest of the population.

Have a lovely Wednesday. One of us should.

Heads or Tails: Wear

HOT: Wear

This is what I wear to my clinicals. My scrubs are a lovely teal green and all the women looks good in this color. I look like the great teal whale, but it does flatter my youthful looking face.

I also am supposed to wear a white 3/5 length lab coat. Lab coats give you extra pockets are awesome but lab coats are also very warm and the hospital keeps their temperatures fairly high. Not to mention all white leather shoes and white knee high socks.

My scrub top is a tunic with two huge pockets that have inner pockets in them for my pen light, notebook, stethoscope, various sundries that we student nurses are required to carry.

My pants also have two deep lovely pockets. I love all the pockets, make my life much easier.

I have been considering wearing scrubs 24/7 because they are comfy and practical. They hold lots o' loot as well.

My other wear definition is nursing school stress is beginning to wear upon me and my class. It's not easy being in nursing school. I am thrilled to have Tuesday and Wednesday off this week.

We have two classroom instructors who are very different from one another. Julia is our director and gives extra credit questions on tests. Dr.M is new and came from a university environment. No extra credit plus she's not willing to negotiate on questions on tests even of she did word them like someone who lived in the woods of Idaho or perhaps Arkansas. :P

My classmates are confused, it's difficult to find a groove in studying for these off the wall tests. We are weary.

I'll shop whining before I begin to wear upon your good natures. :) Hugs to all

I ROCK!

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I just saved a poor little old lady from being sent to a nursing home. She did not have dementia, she was suffering from dehydration(which can mimic dementia in the elderly) and a probable toxic dose of digoxin. YEAH! Mrs. Smith can stay in he happy home.

We have not studied the elderly in class but rocking Janice remembers this kind of trivia plus I spent last week in geropsych and several of our patients on the floor were not demented just has a too high blood sugar, pain they could not define, dehydration and I also know infection can cause symptoms of dementia.

I love it when I ace a homework assignment. YES I do. I liked being on the geropsych floor. It's almost a puzzle to figure out what would best help the patients. Kinda cool.

I get to deal with Traumatic brain injury and schizophrenics(medicated) next quarter. I seem to have a knack for psych, in so far as I know.

My brain is still intact but we have 4 more weeks to go this quarter. My brains might be quite decorative on the walls. Ya just never know.

I Feel the Need for Speed (Studying)

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Pharmacology test alert. Tomorrow at 1p.m. Pacific Time I'll need to know about neuroleptic drugs, anti-depressants, antiepileptics, anti-Parkinsonians, cholinergics and anti-cholinergics and their effects on the brain/body, why, how, when, where,what, therapeutic ranges of all previously mentioned meds, etc.

My director is our nursing fundamentals teacher every other week. Friday she added tons of new info I need to know by Thursday. More reading for me.

Not to mention the pre-reading for this week's fundamental topics.

Memorizing all those fun medical abbreviations for charting.

Time to get serious. Have a fun Sunday and pray my brain doesn't explode all over my walls. :P

Sick and Tired

Have a nasty virus. Missed school Friday, slept all day. Spouse is sick too.

Teens left sinking sink at 10a.m. as they're suck loving children.

Got schedule for next quater. No more sleeping for me. This is gonna be very hard. Two days a week up before 6a.m. Whoa is me.......................

Back to lying on couch and zonking out as I have a test to study for tomorrow along with many many pages of reading.

I wish you all a much nicer weekend than mine! HUGS!

Thursday Thrills

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My day had been one thrill after another. My heart is tired from all this adrenaline. Yeah. I wish.

Got up at 7, took son to school, came home and took a shower so my fellows students wouldn't run away from me. I then proceeded to go pick up my stressed out car pool partner. Once again, Janice got to explain all the basic concepts of therapeutic communication and Eriksen's stages of psycho-social development, and typical infant development in the first year. We had that test at nine. EAZY-PEAZY.

Our only other class was pharmacology which Dr. M kindly held at 11a.m. so we would not have to hang around campus for 3 hours with nothing(except study which I am fairly current on) to do.

Got home by 12:30. YES! Watched it pour buckets 'o rain outside and eventually took a nap.

My 17yo came home and demanded I take him shopping for some nice clothes as he was in a open to the public assembly honoring veterans tonight. Silly me left my wallet in my clinical carpool mate's car. Rats. Dad got to take mr. drama(let's flirt with one girl while deciding if demanding girlfriend is worth his time) shopping. I kept on sleeping.

It was a really rough day. But someone had to handle it all. MOI!

Off to consider my case study that is due tomorrow. Yeehaw!

First Clinical

Yesterday was my first clinical day and I was assigned to Geropsych. This is a locked psychiatric ward for people over 60 with issues like dementia, dementia from physical/medical issues, depression or other psychiatric illnesses. Most patients stay 7-10 days to be assessed and attempts to get their psych meds adjusted so they are not under or over sedated.

One of the ladies I was assigned to sit and talk to, watch, was doing quite well. V had originally come in extremely agitated and combative which was unusual for her. She should have gone home today. Her issue was actually too little pain medication that manifested in a temporarily psychotic state. She was a lovely woman, somewhere in her 80's, who told me about voting in the depression.

One of my clinical classmates was very nervous about working on a psych floor. Poor thing is all of 26 years old with no psych experience. The patients tend to wander around and my classmate would turn to find herself being followed closely. The first time it happened she turned white. By the end of the evening she was relaxed and fitting in well.

My other classmate got to assist in a hose down when a man, over medicated, overflowed his depends. It was my classmate, my clinical instructor, and 3 CNAs, all working together to get the poor guy cleaned up without agitating him. I missed all this fun. I am not sure how I missed it, but I did. Phew.

My 4 other classmates got to work harder on med/surg and the progressive care unit, a step down from intensive care. They had to do vitals, change diapers, measure urine, chart vitals, and run around to whatever their CNA wanted them to go. Rats. Missed that and will be on Geropsych next clinical as well.

We have next Tuesday off for Veteran's Day so I won't be back at the hospital until the 18th.

I think I got off pretty easily.

Finally

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All my "people" won. The Governor of WA, the congressperson from my district is now a Democrat, my local legislative folks are democrat, the government of Washington State is Democrat by an overwhelming majority.

I pray for better health care, better education for all, a better country than we have been for the previous eight year.

I have a sense of hope and promise.

Manic Monday

Made it through 3 hours of class when I received a call from 17yo........his hand cracked and popped during weight lifting. You know the one he had two casts on this summer?

Left early and missed pharm and computers and waited a long time at orthopedics office. He has a red cast now. No break could be seen, but they casted him anyway because it was swollen and quite painful.

Now he's sitting here telling me about the major dram between him, his gf and his best friend who's siding with gf. Bad news.

Head games. How do we live without them? Thankfully.

First clinical in hospital tomorrow. I'll be on geropsych so it should be quite the learning experience. Hopefully I won't harm anyone.....(anxiety)

We shadowing CNA's so I can't kill anyone since we'll not be doing meds yet.
Phew! Aren't ya glad you're not a patient of mine?

See ya'll later. Gotta go empathize about bad best friends and annoying girls. Yeehaw. :P

Studying Sunday

I am now well informed about anti-epileptic drugs, anti-Parkinson's drugs,anti-depressants/psychotropic drugs. Yeehaw. That was an entertaining 75 minutes of studying. Knot.

I also reviewed infant and adolescent development, Erikson's psycho-dynamic development theory, and then I read a bunch of developmental psych because I love the subject. Finally a topic I am very familiar with and feel knowledgeable about. I even understand the nursing diagnoses that go with these two age groups!

Did I ever mention I got a 3.8 in developmental psychology? (wink)I took it online and enjoyed the subject immensely. Dr.M was lecturing on infant development Friday and explained the most basic concepts as if no one in the class had ever taken psych. Yawn I thought. She gets condescending at times as if we were in 6th grade. I try very hard to pretend that doesn't irk me.

She gets all you all know nothing when discussing physiology sometimes. I just stare ahead while thinking: I have 4 quarters of A&P under my belt, the rest of the class has at least 2 quarters, and when will this lecture be ovah?

I am not saying saying she doesn't knows more than I do, because of course, she does. It's her presentation that lacks finesse. She used to teach BSN candidates, you'd think she would be a better, more in touch with her students, type of instructor. She has a doctorate in adult education.........why does she teach down?

I spent over an hour yesterday trying to explain developmental theories to my carpool partner yesterday. The woman is very bright but was born and raised in India. Her cultural background is completely opposite than a typical middle class American. I still have not explained critical thinking well enough that she truly understands. She has a degree in science from India...and calls our nursing fundamentals class an "english" class because it's all theory, not black/white science. I feel for her. I couldn't go to India and be in college speaking Hindi in 4 years let alone comprehending theory.

Her culture is so far from ours. It reminds me how glad I am to be a woman in America. Ladies we have it good compared to most parts of the world!!!

Love yas and I need to go find double check and see if I missed any reading I need for tomorrow's five looooooooooooong hours of class. Smooches.

Friday Freedom

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FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Two whole days plus an extra hour before I go back to the nuthouse aka nursing school. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

No tests or papers due until next Thursday. Breath. Deeply. Relax.

I received a 103% on the test we took yesterday. BOOYAH! The whole class was freaking out because they studied other chapters while I read the right chapter in the 30 minutes before the test. Pure luck and maybe 10% instinct.

The disorganized folks made me forget there will be an end to this torture in August. 5 weeks plus finals until a month off. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

It is difficult to shift through the BS to remember the entire point~I want to help people. Help them to feel cared about. To not feel alone. Help them to understand why they are ill, how they can take control of their own health. To help them feel empowered, important, relevant to their own lives.

Refocus time. I know I will have these times I am frustrated and irritated. I will also have times that I feel great. Smart. Like I am moving along in my own life.

I forgot the journey can get bumpy and painful and exhausting. Several days.

I am going to do this even if I whine through most of it. I have to prove spouse wrong. (evil grin) Not to mention prove myself right.

Off to sleep away the night and the morning and maybe half the afternoon.

Why? Because I can. :) Hugs to all my readers/friends.