The New Year

The New Year usually means new resolutions. I've never been good at sitting down, making a plan and sticking to it. My life is usually so fluid and revolves so much around naps and meals and poopy diapers that it's hard for me to have a rigid plan. But to be fair, I've never been good at it - so blaming it on my kids is just an excuse :)

My friend recommended this article and I thought it was interesting. Gave me something to think about.

30 Things to STOP Doing to Yourself

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. 
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. 
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

Updates

Things on the blog have been slow and when I have posted, it's been rather sad. Sorry about that. Christmastime is a time to rejoice and be happy... this Christmas was difficult for my family and for me. Things won't ever be the same. But that's OK. Change is the only really constant thing in life anyway.

Speaking of changes, there are lots of changes happening around here. Alanna is almost 3 months old already. She is getting so big. She is smiling and cooing and is a very happy wonderful little girl.

Tennyson is wearing size 4-5 clothes already and he's only 2 1/2. He's speaking really welll, but still curses when he says 'truck'. He loves all things trains and McQueen.

Julian is fitting into a size 6 length but a size 2T for his waist. Even sinched as far as they will go, the size 6 pants are still a bit too big. Oh well, he's healthy and that is all that really matters.

I keep losing the same 5 pounds... it's getting a bit old. I guess maintaining through the holidays is better than gaining. I've started running again, which has been great. I want to be able to run 8 miles by the end of August.

John-David is busy working. He is coming up on 2 years at Ancestry.com and still appreciating the challenge that it provides him.

Overall, we are doing well. We are happy and we are healthy. Here are a few pictures... I'll get some more photos and videos up in the next few days.

Casey's Birthday

Today is Casey's 20th birthday. This photo is the last photo I have with Casey. I am so glad my Mom took it. I miss him a lot. It's hard to explain. I've been out of my parents home for 10 years now. Casey and I would see each other at least once a year. We would talk on the phone at least once a month. And every few weeks we would exchange "I love you" texts. I missed him because we didn't see each other all the time. But it is so different now. The missing is so different, and so much harder and so much sadder. 

My parents are having a big open house party tonight. They've invited all of his friends to come celebrate. There will be candles lit in memorial of him. There will be memories shared, Just Dance will be played, a carrot cake will be eaten. Even with all that joy, everyone still misses him so bad, there will be lots of tears shed I am sure. I'm here, in Utah, not sure what to do to celebrate his birthday. I'm conflicted. Part of me wants to be in Alaska celebrating his birthday with everyone, but most of me wants to be far away because it's so much harder for me when there are people around who knew him, who knew a part of him that I didn't. It makes it more real. And today I really don't want it to be real.

But it is and as much as that sucks, it will be ok. He will visit me, and give me a hug that I hope I can feel. The Spirit of the Lord will comfort me, and everyone that feels his absence. My testimony of eternal life and eternal families will be strengthened. My faith and hope will increase and I will be OK. Just like we all will be. I will snuggle my kids and my husband and I will talk to my family and I will say a prayer of thanks for the amazing blessings I have. I don't want it to be real, but it is. Trials are almost never fun. But there are things to be learned through trial that you cannot learn any other way. Those are things to be thankful for.

I love you baby brother.

6 Months

Today is 6 months since Casey passed. The last few days have been sad for me. I miss him. I have felt him so close the last few days though. I feel him close often, spending time with the kids and watching them grow. I have continued to learn over the last several months. I've learned about eternity, what it means to be sealed together as a family, what is really required of us here in this life. We all chose to come here. And we knew ahead of time what would lay ahead of us here on the Earth. We chose to come here anyway, to receive bodies and to be given the opportunity to make our own choices. To live and learn and grow and progress.

Even though this loss, this trial of faith, is difficult, I would not want to do without the things that I am learning. I am so grateful for the gospel and for the things that I learn because of it. I am grateful for the comfort it brings. I am grateful for a family who loves and supports me. I am grateful that I am sealed to my parents and siblings. And I am especially grateful that I am sealed to my husband and children. Our families are eternal. Nothing can destroy that bond.

I am grateful for a Savior who loves me. Who helps me to see the blessings and joys I have in my life. I am grateful for His sacrifice so that I may have eternal life. So that we all may have eternal life. I am grateful for the scriptures and the insight that they offer into our lives and trials.

My heart is full, even through sadness and grief. I pray that you can receive the same comfort and peace.

Alanna's Blessing Day

Alanna was blessed yesterday. It was great. We took a few pictures of everyone :)

 Tennyson - 2 1/2 years old and busy as ever

 Julian - 4 1/2 years old learning and growing so fast

 Alanna almost 2 months old

 Booties - worn by Uncle Casey when he was blessed

 Bracelet made by Grandma Anderson and sash made by Great-Grandma Skinner (both handmade)

 Sweater worn by Uncle Casey when he was blessed

 Dress made by Grandma Bridges

 Headband made by me

 She has gotten so big so fast... I can't believe she is already 2 months old. She is fantastic. We love having her in our family. It would not be complete without her.

Our whole family. Julian changed his clothes right after we got home from church and I could not convince him to put his church clothes back on. Oh well. :)

Oh My.

Tennyson has been showing some interest in potty training the last few weeks. We purchased him big boy underwear and everything. We tried for a few days, but when he started screaming at me every time I asked him to try and go potty, we decided to try again later. We've had some interesting experiences though.

Last night I asked him to go potty before we put on his diaper for bed. He went to the bathroom but we didn't hear the toilet flush (which is his favorite part). When he came out this is the conversation we had:

Us: Tennyson, did you go potty?
T: Yes.
Us: Did you go potty in the toilet?
T: No.
Us: Where did you go potty?
T: (No answer)
Us: Did you go potty on the floor?
T: No.
Us: Did you go potty in the garbage can?
T: No.
Us. Where did you go potty?
T: Me go potty on the wall! (With a big smile)

Tennyson is still trying to figure out some words, when he really loves something he says "Wow! Dis is wummy!" It is adorable.

Are you Addicted?

I saw this interesting article on cnn.com today that talks about addiction to technology. You can read the whole article here. But I thought this was interesting:

"One definition of 'addiction' is when other people and other activities in your life begin to suffer because of something you know you should cut back on, but don't," he said.

Some of his examples are things that many people will instantly recognize:
- The urge to pull out a cellphone even when someone you're with is in the midst of a conversation with you.
- Texting even while your child is telling you about his or her day at school, and realizing later that you can't remember the details of what your son or daughter has said to you.
- Having the vague feeling that something hasn't really happened until you post it to Facebook or Twitter.
- Feeling isolated and anxious if you are offline for an extended period of time.
- Noticing that even when your family is all together in one room at home, each person is gazing at his or her own screen and tapping at a miniature keyboard.

There are people who, even when they aren't using their digital devices, find themselves creating status updates or Twitter feeds in their heads while they are experiencing things," he said. "It's as if they have lost the ability to live in the moment, and have become conditioned to feeling that they have to instantly share it electronically while it is still going on."

Funny Tennyson

Tennyson keeps us laughing. He loves to be tickled and wrestled and cuddled.

Videos with Casey

As I was going through our photos today I found these videos. Seeing Casey and hearing his voice made me cry. I miss him so much. My sadness feels worse now, stronger and more pointed, then it did a few months ago. I miss my baby brother so bad. I really want to give him a hug and tell him that I love him. It is still hard to believe that these videos were taken only 5 months before he passed away. I am so very glad we went to Alaska. I know that life is eternal and that I will see him again, but I still miss him.

Misc Photos

 For JD's birthday in September I re-organized the guest room. I sold the bed and replaced it with a futon. I added a desk and a new set of shelves and few lamps. While I was working in there Julian, Tennyson and their buddies came in and made some beds. They had a great time :)

 My cousin Hillary and the boys a few days after I had Alanna. The boys think she is amazing.

 Tennyson likes to fix things. Here is trying to fix his stuffed Buzz Lightyear. 

Another picture of Tennyson falling asleep in random places.

 Grandma came down when Alanna was born to help out. She took the boys to the dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving Point. The kids stuff is pretty fantastic.

Baby Photos

 Alanna had her first day at church today. This little newborn dress my Mom bought just barely fit. She is getting big.

 Alanna is now 3 weeks old. At her 2 week appointment she weighed 8 lbs 9.5 oz and measured 21.25 inches long.

 She is starting to sleep at night, which is really helpful for me. She is a really great baby. The boys adore her. You can see in the photo above the wet kiss mark left by a big brother. She gets lots of kisses and hugs.

 The boys each have to snuggle her before bed each night. They like to hold her every day.

 They both sing to her when she starts to get upset. They sing I am a Child of God. It is wonderful.

Life has definitely changed, but it's wonderful. Exhausting, but wonderful.

Gratitude

I am feeling a deep sense of gratitude for my family today. I read this blog post today and it reminded me how very very blessed I am. The blog is a friend of a friend who lost her 7 month old baby about a month ago. Since losing Casey I feel a level of sympathy for those who have lost a loved one that I have never experienced before. I cannot even imagine what losing one of my children would be like, and I hope I never have to experience that type of loss.

I am grateful for:

* Boys that love to play with each other and who LOVE their baby sister
* Early morning snuggles with the whole family in our bed
* A two year old who wakes up in the middle of the night wanting me, wanting to be close to me and is only happy if my arms are around him
* A four year old who wants to hold his sister and help me with chores and is trying so hard to teach his little brother what it means to be a good big brother
* A husband who goes to the grocery store late at night even though he's exhausted
* A husband who walks into the kitchen to find me nursing a baby, cooking oatmeal and trying to cut carrots one handed for his lunch, so he takes over the carrot cutting and finishes his own lunch
* Friends who call and ask to take my boys so that I can take a much needed nap
* A Mother who comes and snuggles my boys every night while watching a movie and then sleeps with them through the night so that I can sleep
* A Father, who when I called in the middle of the night to tell him that his first granddaughter was born, wept with joy
* A Mother-In-Law who listens as I worry about what kind of mother I am to my children and then reassures me that I am being successful
* A Father-In-Law who went to work the day his first granddaughter was born and excitedly shared the news with his co-workers
* Spit up down my chest right after a shower
* Never actually being able to clean my house because as I clean it my boys are right behind me with new toys or sticks or raisins or worms or something fantastic
* The Lord who blesses me with strength so that I can care for my family, insight so that I can be a good mother, patience so that I can control my words, the ability to see His tender mercies, and so many other things

I am grateful for the moments I have to remember these things. There are so many other things I am grateful for, the list could go on and on. What are you grateful for today?

More Baby

Alanna Claire Anderson

We took some new photos of the baby. She is wonderful. She rarely cries, but has her nights and days a bit confused. That is slowly changing though. The boys love her.

Labor and delivery were fast. I am not going to write my whole birth story here, but here are the highlights. I had a Dr. appointment Thursday morning and I scheduled an induction for Friday 10/7/2011. I had regular contractions most of the day Thursday and then Thursday night about midnight contractions sped up to every 5-7 minutes. About 1:15 AM I decided it was time to go to the hospital. We got there about 1:30 AM and she was born at 1:38 AM. It was quick, I did it naturally and I'm glad she's here. She is a wonderful baby.

She had her newborn check up this morning and she's grown 1.5 inches in 5 days. She's back up to her birthweight and she's growing well. We are so excited to have her in our family.

Welcoming Alanna

Alanna joined our family early this morning at 1:38 AM. She weighed in at 7 lbs 1 oz and measured 19 inches long. More pictures to come :)

Quick Update

My boys are getting big. They are growing up and changing so quickly sometimes it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is changing. It's wonderful to watch how quickly they learn. They are excited for a baby sister. Really, I think they are just excited for a baby. None of us knows what it's like to have a little girl in the house.

Preparations are happening... both physically and in our home. The crib is set up, clothes are washed, diapers are purchased, car seat is pulled out (but not yet clean), the house is almost completely deep cleaned from top to bottom, her quilt is made... now all we really need is for this beauty to show her face. We are still deciding on a middle name - but we still have a bit of time.

JD is busy with work and his church responsibilites, but we are enjoying the time that we have to spend together as well. Our garden has produced greatly this year - lots of tomatoes and zucchini. In fact, more zucchini than we have been able to eat. Life is good and we are progressing. Hopefully we'll have a better update soon :) Until then, enjoy some photos and have a wonderful week.

You Are Not Forgotten

This was one portion of a very uplifting talk given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf on Saturday evening. I know that he is speaking to women, but I feel like his words apply to all. You can access the rest of his talk here.

Nighttime Activities

Tennyson came in to wake me up at about 2:30 AM last night asking for a glass of milk. I am moving rather slow these days, especially when I've been asleep for 3 hours in the same position. Apparently I hadn't come fast enough because when I walked into the kitchen he had pulled his sippy out of the dishwasher and poured himself a glass of milk. Miraculously he filled the cup, but then continued to pour until it was all over the floor as well.

WIshes for Baby From my Friends

A few of my wonderful friends threw me a baby shower yesterday. It was so kind and I am really grateful for my friends excitement about this new baby. I have a great support system here and I am so grateful. Part of the baby shower was a "wishes for baby" form that each person filled out. After I came home yesterday I read through what people wrote and it was so touching. I thought I would share...

Dear Baby,

I hope you learn... patience (soon), balance, about the gospel, to LOVE music, to be creative like your mother, what it means to exercise faith, everything your mom has to teach - she's the greatest, the principles of the gospel, to cook like your Mom, lots - fill that brain, you're a daughter of God, to love everyone.

I hope you aren't afraid of... dragons, to try new things, of the dark, of trying hard, of your brothers, to be yourself, to laugh at yourself, of Asians - they're cool, of challenges, to do what's right, of anything, to believe in yourself.

I hope you love... your brothers, spending time with your family, to dance with your daddy, food, Heavenly Father, to keep your room clean, reading, you, running, everyone, to laugh.

I hope you get... hugs everyday, to reach your goals, everything that is good, everything you need, to try new things, smothered with love by your brothers, lots of love from your big brothers, your mom's smile, your brother Tennyson's cute blond hair, lots of kisses from your brothers.

I hope you laugh... frequently, often, at your mistakes, at yourself, all the time, instead of crying, everyday, through the hard times.

I hope you never forget... to forgive, your destiny, all the people that love you, your worth, how great you are, your heritage, to brush, you're a daughter of God, to pray, the atonement, to tell your mom you love her.

I hope you ignore...the haters, mean girls, negativism, unkind words, negative vibes from other people, Uncle Rog, creepy strangers, shallow people, rude people, Satan's enticings, the naysayers.

I hope you become... a great leader, filled with joy always, a beautiful righteous young woman, your best self, your brightest dream, smart, a pirate or princess or a lawyer, who you want to be, a sweet little girl, a lovely kind lady, a woman of faith, an artist like your mom, wise.

I hope you respect... your parents, yourself, your body, the man, your elders, yourself and everyone, your mom, the gift of your wonderful life, the earth.

I hope you grow... to be strong and healthy, to your full potential, flowers, over 5'10", to be a woman of dignity and grace, tall like your mom, fairy wings, into an extraordinary lady, up to be just like your mommy, big and strong, beautifully, tall and strong.

Love,

Women Who Love You

After reading through these I was touched by what my friends think of me, but also of the reality of who each of us can become. Being a Mother has been both the most challenging and the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to be a Mother.

We've been busy and I've been so tired, but hopefully in the next few days I can get up a few posts about all the changes around here :) The biggest change has yet to show her face, but the preparations are keeping me on my toes for sure.

The last few months

The last few months have been busy. I obviously haven't been blogging much, still working on getting the motivation. But, I figured since it's been awhile I'd at least update. The boys are doing great - busy growing and exploring. I am currently 8 months pregnant and starting to jump into nesting mode. We're working on finishing up some projects that have been hanging around for a LONG time. JD is busy with work and Young Men's. Here a quick recap of July & August.

 My brother Barry moved back to AK in July. We miss him lots but he is excited about being back home.

 Julian wasn't being as cooperative with photos, but this one of he and Tennyson is super cute. 

 The week after Barry moved back to AK Grandma Bridges came for a quick visit. We didn't get a ton of photos (I really need to be better about that) but did get a few before she left. The boys crashed on the way to the airport.

Grandma helped them climb the tree... I wish we could have moved the branch though... we'll just have to try again.

 My mom and I. People say that we look alike - my sister is nearly her twin but I am looking more like her as I get older. I like it :)

 We had a MAJOR rain storm in August and the boys had a great time playing in the rain and mud of the backyard.

  Julian LOVES to help weed whack. We have to get them started young right? Don't worry he is always supervised :)

 We had lots of friends come to visit in August - these are some of our close friends, the Oblad's. JD and Tyson graduated from law school the same year and they have since moved to Texas. It was so great to spend a few hours with them during their most recent trip. Sara and I are pregnant and due only 2 weeks apart. Makayla (in pink) and Tennyson are only 2 weeks apart as well. It was great that we picked up right where we left off... the mark of true friends :)

 I've been participating in bountiful baskets here in Utah. I got all this food for $15. The food is from local or small farms. If you are interested in participating go here. They have organic baskets and other supplemental items like bread, granola, or other seasonal fruit you can use for preservation. 

We grew a garden this year and it's doing so well! I pick at least 12 lbs of zucchini a week (sometimes more) and about 8 lbs of tomatoes a week. I'm so excited. We've got peppers and jalapenos and peas as well. Maybe next year I'll even get it better organized so that my tomatoes don't crush my zucchini plants. 

It's been a fun few months and it's just going to continue. Baby sister will come in October, then Thanksgiving with family and Christmas with family. It will be great. Hopefully I can be more regular with posts.