Forgetting to first mail Abby's Birthday present and then forgetting to put her on the blog really upset me today. There is nothing more precious to me than these grandkids. I cherish each of them...and I would never purposely do anything to hurt them or my any of my kids...I remember my mom doing that and I promised I would never do "that". Here I am doing the same dang things. I feel like I am on overload right now for some reason and even though I don't want to admit it I am getting older... I used to be able to do a million things all at once and keep them straight. Now I am lucky to do 2 at a time and maybe keep them straight. Anyway it got me thinking... and so here goes....
I would never trade my incredible family, my amazing friends or my wonderful life for less gray hair (and it is gray for sure!) or a skinnier body. As I've aged, I'm become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself....most of the time. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, or to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Who cares if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself and Hal to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's that we fell in love to.
I will walk at the pool in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into it with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the younger set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things ... most of the time...(or someone lets me know.) Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or a dear friend, or when a child or grandchild suffers. But broken hearts and trials are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. I still hate the age spots... but they are me.) So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself as much anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So I guess I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).
I will walk at the pool in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into it with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the younger set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things ... most of the time...(or someone lets me know.) Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or a dear friend, or when a child or grandchild suffers. But broken hearts and trials are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. I still hate the age spots... but they are me.) So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself as much anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So I guess I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).
