I get a lot of marketing emails. And I wish I didn't. Every time I get one, I ignore it. But still they send them.
Here is one: I have recently published a book about the <London transport network>. I was wondering if it would be possible to write a blog on your website? Given that the visitors to your website will be looking for information on the <London transport network> it would be fantastic.
No, I will not do that.
Here is another one: We would gladly do a feature write-up about your website in Best of the Web, our bi-weekly review of the most unique, informative and intriguing Home and Garden blogs on the web
Ha ha ha, I am not a home and garden blogger.
This next one is rubbish: Hello fella, I hope this email finds you well. I’m Tyler and I had the chance to check out your blog... I’m contacting you on behalf of <potato-based snack food> who have launched a new range. We have a few goodies that we’d love to send to you.
I do not want them, Tyler. I want you to go away and take your stupid <food company> <kitchen tool>® <potato-based snack food> with you.
Plans for the future of transport in London have been planned. TfL will save billions of pounds over the next three years. New things will happen, and other things will not happen. Some money will be spent, and some money will be saved. This news is either good or bad.
Also there is a new tube map. It shows what new lines there will be in London in 2015. Not many.
The DLR will go to Stratford International where there are very big shops. The Overground will go to Clapham Junction and make a ring round London. And look, there will be a cablecar on the tube map! OMG, a cablecar, like this is Switzerland.
The cablecar will go from the O2 to somewhere dull on the other side of the Thames. But the view will be excellent. So that's OK then.
By 2019 there will also be Crossrail. This will be a very long train, a very long train indeed. It will be so long that trains will stop at two stations at once. London cannot wait for 2019 when there will be Crossrail. But the cablecar will be more fun.
This is another post about the Olympics. Switch off now if you are not interested.
When the Olympics come to town, adverts will be banned. This will be in an area around each event called the Event Zone. Do you live in an Event Zone? I do.
No adverts will be allowed, even if you tie a balloon to the back of a goat. No street trading will be allowed, or jumble sales if you have them in the street. These rules will apply in Stratford and in Downing Street and on the beach in Weymouth.
I could tell you a lot more about this, but you don't care.
So here's a video showing the Olympic Stadium being built.
Walk London CAPITAL RING[section 4] Crystal Palace to Streatham
This walk starts at the park with the dinosaurs in it. The man who made them was very bad at making dinosaurs, but he still gets a plaque on a house. Then there's a dog mess bin and a park and some crocuses, except they might be dead by now.
After Westow Park comes the Upper Norwood Recreation Ground. There was nobody recreating when I went, but there were a lot of dogs on heat. And a wet patch.
Next I went up to the top of Beulah Hill. There's a Biggin Hill here, but not the usual one. Look, you can see IKEA across the allotments. The woods are full of trees.
Norwood Grove is where the man who invented P&O Ferries used to live. He doesn't live there now because he's dead. Now the house is owned by the council, and they make the gardens looks nice. You can sit on a bench and look out at the view, but be warned the view is of Streatham.
But Streatham Common also has a secret. It has a secret garden called the Rookery. This has plants and flowers like a garden should, but also a rockery and some water features. There is also a terrace and a big slope and a sundial. Yes it is very pretty. Brides and grooms often have their photos taken here, but I didn't see any.
But I did go to the cafe. It serves tea and hot snacks like cooked breakfasts. But ROFL LOL - they can't spell tomatoes because the menu says Tomotoes. I had a bacon roll instead. The cafe was full of small children. Perhaps they like to eat here because there is a picture of Barney the Dinosaur on the wall.
Down the hill is Streatham, which is where the walk ends. Sorry about that, but I didn't invent the walk. The last bit by Streatham Common station is not nice, so I wouldn't bother to be honest.
Please complete your census questionnaire on 27 March 2011. Taking part in the census is very important and it is also compulsory. So help tomorrow take shape and be part of the 2011 Census.
In 2021 you'll be able to take part in the Census on your mobile. It will go like this.
What is your name? What is your Government Safety ID?
Please scan your fingerprint as proof of your identity.
Now please take a photograph of yourself and email it to us.
Finally, please scan the security biochip implanted in your right arm.
Declaration: I have not scanned somebody else's chip. I have not tried to hide my thoughts and feelings from the scanners. I remain humbly yours.
Today there was a big march in London. I went along to see if it was full of good people or bad people. And there were some of each.
First I went to see the people with banners. Some of them looked very ordinary, and others looked a bit weird. They walked past the Ritz but did not kick the windows. In Hyde Park Ed Miliband spoke to the crowd. He could of spoke better.
On Oxford Street there were lots of police. They were dressed up for a riot, but they were also helping old ladies. There was no traffic, so it was very good for shopping. I saw lots and lots of angry students at Oxford Circus. They had a horse made of cloth and they set fire to it, but I didn't see that.
Then I went to Putney to see the Boat Race. This year Oxford were playing Cambridge.
Everybody here had a lot more money and a lot more beer. They all looked like they were having a lot of fun. Nobody seemed to be very worried about student debt or losing their jobs. It was very different to the march in town. Nobody got hurt. I think Oxford won and Cambridge came second.
Walk London
London 2012
