Cry me a river

Some (and by some I mean Barrington) might consider me to be a crier. I cry when I'm really sad, or mad, or frustrated, or tired or even when I'm super happy. I cry for the first week or so after I have a baby. I have even cried because I'm laughing too hard. I really don't think I'm abnormal but I may be slightly above average in the crying department.

My husband has absolutely no clue about what to do when I cry. Even after nearly eleven years of marital training and desensitization, he is still unenlightened. (And, btw, the training is very simple.) He will either get frustrated, shut down completely or look like he has never seen another living soul cry. I have no idea why he can't handle it. Maybe it is because he generally seems to think that he is the cause of the teariness. Maybe he didn't get enough love when he cried as a child. Maybe it is because of his gender. Regardless, the man needs an emotional boot camp. (Or, maybe, I'm the one that needs it.) At any rate, I'm beginning to understand.

Grant is a crier. It started when he was about 1 1/2 weeks old. For an entire month, he cried EVERY moment that he was awake. (Unless he was eating.) There was nothing I could do to comfort him. I told the doctor that I felt completely incompetent as a mother. This is my third child. I, for one, thought I would have a little bit more knowledge about how to comfort a crying baby by now. But, alas, I was wrong.



I took him into the doctors at three weeks old. The doctor suggested that it might be a milk protein or soy protein allergy. I didn't believe it. But, they tested his stool and found blood. So, I decided I would try a milk and soy free diet for a couple of weeks and see what happened. The alternative was to switch him to a hypoallergenic formula which is, apparently, VERY expensive. I was given four sheets of paper each with about 40 things that might be found on a label suggesting that the product might have milk or soy in it. (I'm also off nuts because of Jackson's nut allergy.) It took me a while to figure out that my calcium supplement was made of soy. But about a week after I found food to eat and made the changes I noticed a significant decrease in the amount of crying he was doing. And the blood in his diaper disappeared. We also started him on Zantac for Reflux after experimenting with Mylanta. That has helped as well. Not only could I tell that he was WAY more content, but his hives disappeared and I could see a big difference in his diapers. (I know, TMI.)

We do have backslides when I add something to my diet that disagrees with him, like corn. The next day I could see the blood in his diaper. So, no more corn or corn products either. For the time being, I'm spending lots of money at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. They seem to have some interesting food choices for me. I'm not thrilled about the expense, though. (Why does healthier food cost more anyway?) I'm surprised that there isn't more information about this diet online. It seems pretty common and I haven't really been able to get much direction. However, I think I've figured things out. It won't be a fun six months to a year for me food wise, but it's a lot better than listening to the constant screaming.

Little Grant is doing so much better. I can put him down for 5-10 minutes while he is awake now. (He is swaddled up in his bouncy seat as I type this.) It is very freeing considering the fact that I've been holding him for nearly two months now. He will even lay in his stroller and look around as we take walks now, too. And I'm FINALLY beginning to figure him out. The baby can be rocked for hours and not fall asleep, but will fall asleep in minutes if he is in his room with his sound machine on if he is swaddled, bounced and your face touches his. He doesn't like to be around a lot of noise. (Hopefully he will grow out of that or he is in for a rocky life being part of this family.) He isn't the type that can fall and stay asleep out and about. He needs to eat every hour and a half or two hours. He is by no means a laid back baby but he is able to be comforted and that is HUGE.

I'm so grateful for the doctor's advice and that it has seemed to help make Grant feel better. It is amazing how our bodies work and how what I eat really does influence the baby since I'm nursing him. It really makes me think about how much what we take in while we are pregnant directly enters the fetus' body. I'm also more grateful than I can express for the feeling that I had during those weeks of floating. It was like I was coasting along and the crying didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I know that was divine intervention because I can be pretty anxious and on edge. And the crying didn't even make me cry once. Talk about a blessing!



For my dear father:
This is the proof that I am telling the truth about Grant and his crying since you don't believe me. This was taken just seconds after the picture of Grant and I that I posted yesterday. It is blurry, but you get the point.



AND, just for you, I tortured my baby by taking this video instead of trying to console him. (I wouldn't have been able to console him anyway.) (Yes it is sideways but it is too late and I'm too tired to convert it. You get the point, though.)

Blessed

Yesterday Grant was officially given his name and blessing by Daddy. We were quite certain that Grant would cry (which, for him, means scream) the entire time, making everyone cringe as the sound amplified through the microphone. However, the little trooper held out and didn't make a peep.



The day was a little bittersweet since we have always had all of the family and many friends there with us. Both Jackson and Luke had little "parties" at my parents home after their blessings with a cake and lots of loved ones. Things were much more simple yesterday. We did have some friends who Jimmy met on his mission and has stayed in touch with, Faye and Richard Knox, come from Detroit for the occasion.



This is our first picture as a family of five. Too bad there is a branch in front of Jimmy's head.



When we got home Jackson and I decided to have a photo shoot with Grant. Jackson took this one of Grant and I.



And I was able to get this one of Grant smiling. This is amazing since this is probably his fourth or fifth smile. I don't even think that Jimmy has seen him do it yet.

Goodbye Kindergarten

It is official and there is no denying it. Jackson is growing up. He finished kindergarten with a lovely celebration. We have been so pleased with the school and his teachers. Things started out a little rough for him since we had just moved. He also thought his teacher didn't like him. Mrs. Watson had a special talk with him and once she told him her first name, he was hooked. He often talks about how much he misses school and/or Mrs. Watson. She has also taught Barrington and I how to assist Jackson with his writing and reading skills. Since he is our first we were pretty much clueless. She was able to get him extra help with reading by going to see the reading specialist, Mrs. Zyren. Together, we were able to get him to improve a lot. He read a "first grader" book from the library this week and was VERY pleased with himself. We are so glad that his experience was a good one. He made lots of friends and is very motivated to continue learning.

Here is a video of the three classes singing Jackson's new favorite song, "Have You Ever Gone Fishing."




I love this song. Jackson gets so into it. He is behind the two girls in the front so it is hard to see him, but he is really getting down. I only wish that his class got to be in the front for this song. (I think the other teacher, who has been there longer, pulled rank to get her class in front!)



Jackson on his first day of Kindergarten:



After the celebration. Don't they look so sad to be leaving?



Jackson with his good friends; Maddy, Allison, Aiden and Maddy



His class are the first 14 or 15 kids sitting on the stage.



In a couple of short months he will enter first grade...for the WHOLE day. Time flies...

Life at Home

We came home from the hospital on a Saturday. We were greeted by flowers from Jimmy and my parents. The next day was Mother's Day. Let me just say that having your husband see you give birth is a GREAT way to motivate him to go the extra mile when it comes to celebrating a holiday. There was a fabulous flat bread sandwich brunch, a card that had the kids voices recorded and a framed picture of us that plays "Unforgettable". (He actually went to the trouble of finding a picture and framing it!) Jackson made a beautiful flower pot at school and Luke made a cute heart in the nursery at church. I even got to sleep for three hours while they all went to church. What a fabulous holiday!

Grant slept most of the first week and Jimmy took good care of Jackson and Luke which gave me lots of time to rest. My mother, then, came to help us. And help she did. She rocked Grant for hours on end. The dishes were actually done for ten days straight and she even scrubbed the fridge! She also introduced Luke to hot chocolate and napping with another person...a habit which he has not been very happy to give up.





She also came with us on our first outing to Spenser Park. Thank goodness she did because Luke was a handful trying to scurry out into the lake every chance that he got. I can't believe that I thought it might be relaxing! We were able to get him into a swing which got his mind off of the water. Grant spent his first time at the park sleeping and Jackson was all about the playground.






We were so grateful to have members of our church and neighborhood bring us lots of yummy dinners. Thank goodness for that. It was such a blessing to have food around to eat for dinner and leftovers without needing to run to the store constantly.

Since then, things have been chaotic. Luke only occasionally shows his distaste for the new baby by stomping on his head, throwing things, or head butting him. Most of the time, though, he loves to give kisses and offer pacis to Grant. He often drags me to the monitor when the baby is crying and he runs upstairs to help me get the baby. He seems to want to be held by Jimmy and I, mostly, when we are holding the baby. I spend a lot of time carrying two children around. (My back is killing me, but they will feel loved, I hope!) He seems VERY interested in Grant's belongings. He would not let go of this blanket that our cousins sent for Grant and often can be found relaxing for long periods of time in the bouncy seat.





Jackson seems relatively unphased by the whole thing despite the fact that Grant cries 99% of the time that he is awake. Jackson has been very helpful on car rides sitting between the two younger boys. I even think that the doctor and I have figured out why Grant cries so much and have found things that help (but that is for another post). I have actually ventured out to the store with all three of the boys. (Hey, we HAD to get a converter box so that I can stay awake during the 4 am feedings.)

And so, we are figuring things out. I had forgotten how much time nursing and holding a baby take. The house is a mess but we are surviving which is all we can hope for right now. With transitioning to having three kids, having a fussy baby and dealing with the housing situation I definitely feel like I have been given extra strength. Most days it doesn't seem that hard. I know that I am being assisted by something greater than I. Many days I am able to handle all of the demands on me while listening to lots of crying and whining. It is almost like I'm floating, in a way. It is definitely an adjustment, but we will get there and we will have another little personality to add to the mix. How exciting!

How to get out of a traffic ticket...

I was blessed today. I was able to get out of a traffic ticket for the first time. (Well, except for the time that I cried and the officer let me go. That's a powerful tactic. Too bad I can't make myself cry. But I digress...)

The day had gone as well as could be expected. Luke had a fever and had been crying and wanting to be held most of the day due to teething or his throat, it was hard to tell. Grant and Luke were finally sleeping at the same time for a whole 30 minutes. Score! I knew that I had to wake the baby to feed him at 2:45 to get out the door by 3:20 when I was meeting my Realtor to look at some rental homes. I was able to get there on time and Grant even slept all the way there. He continued to sleep the entire time that I looked at the first of three houses. My somewhat peaceful day changed after looking at that first house, though...

Grant began to scream once we got back in the car. My Realtor got lost at least 5 times trying to find the next house, taking it twice as long to get there. When we finally parked and I got Grant out I noticed that he had a dirty diaper...and clothes...and car seat. And, since I was only going to be gone for thirty minutes I brought nothing with me except a diaper. No wipes, no new clothes. (I shouldn't have made such a rookie mistake.) So, after looking at house two and feeling like we had to rush because the Realtor was telling her kids to hurry up and get back in the car, I told her that I needed to change the baby. It was, well, nasty. I had to use his blanket as a wipe and then I left his sleeper unsnapped because it was so yucky. His little legs were left out with no covering. (Good thing it was warm.) Back in the car we went with Grant still screaming at the top of his lungs. After getting lost another 3 or 4 times, I heard little Grant dirty diaper number two! I continued to follow the Realtor right through a light that, apparently, was a no turn on red. Turn we did and I got pulled over. ARGH!!!

The officer informed me that we were almost in an accident, that someone could have died and that I would be getting three points on my license. I've never been good at getting out of tickets and I've been, embarrassingly enough, pulled over plenty of times. Maybe I'm not cute enough or I don't know how to flirt. I don't know. But something told me to be honest and I told the man about my life. ("I'm sorry. I didn't see the sign. I was following my Realtor. I'm looking for a house because my landlords are foreclosing and forcing us out. Oh, BTW, I have a newborn in the backseat. That is him screaming. And, yes, I know that my license is from Michigan but my tag says Maryland.") Anyway, the officer looked back and saw Grant yelling his lungs out, his little body all red from crying and half naked because of his delinquent mother, and he took pity on us.

And, so, all you have to do to get out of a ticket is to carry a baby for 9 months, deliver, be unprepared, and be forced to move. Let me know if it works for you :0)

In other news, upon my arrival home Jimmy told me that he thought Luke's problem was, indeed, his throat. He took Luke to the after hours clinic and we found out that he has Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. And, today, after Jackson came home from his soccer game guess who wanted to go and take a nap for the first time in 3 years? Looks like we've got two sick kids. Come to think of it, my throat isn't feeling that great either...