New Week

New week. Hopefully a good one. The sun is back out today. It is mornings like this that make me so grateful to live, here, beside the river. The leaves are beginning to turn, so the green is broken up with bits of orange and yellow-so pretty. I love watching the water move. When the wind blows, it looks like it is flowing upstream. Even more fun than watching the water, is watching its reflection. On sunny mornings like this, the sun sparkles on the ripples and then its reflection bounces off the leaves which are also dancing in the breeze. It can almost make me dizzy. I sort of feel like I am afloat or swaying lightly in a hammock. Obviously, I can't describe it well, but it is beautiful to see. Maybe I can get a picture!

I wish I had some adoption news. I am beginning to worry that something is wrong...that maybe he isn't available....or, they can't find all the necessary documents. To be honest, I am beginning to lose hope. I sure wish our agency at least made an effort to keep in touch. Even a monthly update of, "no news", would be better than nothing. They don't even answer my emails. Grumble, grumble. I guess this is NOT the best way to start a new week.

I started out hopeful and cheerful. I am determined to stop grumbling, and keep going. I will once again take Andrea's advice,"Head up, Shoulders Back".

Tragedy

We lost our puppy, Gracie today. She was just 12 weeks old. She was ours for 4 short weeks. On Friday, she managed to swallow a sock. Last night, she got another one. I pulled a third from her throat. She was determined to eat socks! We had been in touch with our vet and the emergency clinic since Friday. There was a chance that she would pass the socks. We were told to watch for vomiting or diarrhea. Today, while I was at work, Gracie started vomiting. My parents called Dan who brought her to the vet. Our wonderful Dr.M did x-rays and saw something solid in there. They did surgery this afternoon and removed both socks. They called to say Gracie made it through the operation just fine. About an hour or so later, Dr.M called back in tears to say that Gracie's heart had stopped beating. They even tried CPR, but she was gone. Dr. M thinks it was the anesthesia. We are so, so sad!!

Just for the record... We did not have socks lying around the house. She was a master sneak, and she got into our bedroom where the laundry was. She snagged the other two socks last night as I was carrying a basket of clean laundry from the bathroom to the bedroom. We usually kept her gated off from the rest of the house or in her crate when we were too busy to watch her.

Gracie was an amazing puppy!!!!She always(almost)came when we called. She would sit and look right us. She was so smart and learning so fast! It feels like some kind of cruel joke. Gracie had the potential and promise to be a WONDERFUL and well-behaved dog. I can't explain how special she was. Ask my friends, Deb and Carol, who aren't dog people. Gracie stole their hearts. She stole everybody's heart. Mine is broken.

Hurray for Milos!!

Milos has a family!!! He is the cutest little guy. Just look at those eyes. He sure looks like he is full of mischief. I fell in love with this little boy at first sight. In appearance, he is totally the opposite of Andreas, with his dark skin, hair and brown eyes. In other ways, they have much in common. Both are older boys with Down Syndrome living in orphanages. Both were born in September, and both are in the double digits. Milos just turned 10 a few days ago. I wanted to try to talk Dan into adopting him, too, but I knew it was a "me" thing. It was not at all the "GOD" thing that happened with Andreas. So, I have just prayed for him often. I am SOOOOO happy that he has a family.

I am happy, too, that I was able to compare my "want" for Milos, and my "call" for Andreas. It has helped me to remember. I went back and re-read all those early emails to Andrea at Reece's Rainbow. I went back over the timeline of this whole process. I have been waiting a long time, but others might view it differently. I saw the Red Cap Picture in February of 2008, and I KNEW. For me, the wait started then. We commited to Andreas on April 23, 2008, and the wait began for our RR family. Then we had a few glitches, and we finally started our homestudy on May 30, 2008. The homestudy agency required us to take a class in August, so we couldn't complete our homestudy until we completed that class. Then, we got a rough draft in Sept. and had to wait 5 weeks until we got the completed copies. A copy was duly sent to AHI who said they didn't know us. What??!! Are you kidding? I was in contact with them since April, but, there was a misunderstanding. I thought they said we couldn't apply until we had a completed homestudy. They were waiting for our application(with the accompanying fee)before they would start working with us. So, for AHI, our wait began in October 2008. We finally got I-800A approval in January, and VERY QUICKLY got a date for our preview trip in February. I am guessing that as far as Estonia is concerned, our wait began in January. I still feel like we have been waiting way too long, but it helps to put things in perspective.

Thank you for all the encouraging comments! It helps. Looking back and remembering was a good thing, too. We won't give up, no matter how unreal it feels. I am still holding on in faith. The Lord provided miraculously. He sustained us through the initial trials, and He truly blessed our trip last winter. It was so apparent that we were doing the right thing. So, we continue to wait, in faith, with hope, that we will SOON be returning for Andreas.

Coming Soon....Pictures

My friend Charlotte(who is amazing by the way)just sent me 65 pictures of Andreas. Not 5 or 6, sixty-five! Isn't that amazing!!! I finally dragged myself away long enough to post. I will soon add some of my favorites. She also has videos for me when she can upload them.

This is Charlotte's 2nd trip to Estonia. Both times, she went out of her way, and had to talk her facilitator into taking her to other orphanages to visit the kids who are being adopted by members of our yahoo group. Isn't that great! She understands how much those visits and photos mean to us back home because this is her 4th international adoption! I can't wait until we go back to Estonia. I will try my hardest to visit someone else's child for them. I would love to be able to give someone as much joy as Charlotte's kindness has given me(us,Dan and the kids are happy too)! She also brought the photobook we made for Andreas to him. He loves it! You can tell by the pictures.:)

September 1

Well, today is September 1st. We were told our adoption process was "on hold" until after Sept. 1, when a certain judge returns from vacation. The nice thing about hearing that bit of news is that it helped me put my wait on the backburner. Now, I will start "waiting" again. That is the bad thing about bits of news like that.

I do have another reason to be hopeful and excited, though. My friend, Charlotte, is in Tallinn, adopting her beautiful daughter. She is hoping to go see my Little Man tomorrow. It may not happen, so I am trying to keep the excitement in check. Her plan is to visit and give him the picture book we made for him. If it doesn't work out, she will either send the photo book or have Igor get it to him, so at least Andreas gets a birthday gift from us. BUT, there is a chance that she will meet him. I can't tell you how much it means to me!!! She may get photos for me,too. Can you believe it? an update,wow! As much as I would give to get new pictures, I appreciate the visit even more!! To have someone actually see him, touch him, makes him so much more REAL to me. To have someone I trust tell me he is well means more than I can explain. Charlotte is really special! Her daughter was in a completely different city, and she visited other families' kids on her first trip, too! She had to go out of her way to arrange transportation and ok the visits. I sure hope I get the chance to do the same for another family when we go back!