I have a new name!

Andreas has begun to call me, Ema-mother. I am so excited! He has spent 11 years in an orphanage without a mother, yet he still understands what a mother is. I am feeling so blessed. It is encouraging to think that I am doing well enough for him to recognize a mommy when he sees one.:)Not that I feel like I am doing a great job. It feels alot like those first few weeks with my firstborn. I definitely did not feel like I was doing a good job, and I was scared to death. This time, I'm not so scared, but I am not confident either.

Day 2

It is killing me not to be able to post pictures! I'm working on it!

We are not likely to get done early because of the holiday. All offices are closed now until Monday. New Year's is HUGE here. People are very excited. I've run into quite a few drunk people in Old Town, too. I'm so glad we are staying in a quiet, family neighborhood this time!

I went shopping this afternoon. Last year I found a woman selling knitted items in an alley off a side street. It took me forever, but I finally found her. Her prices are much lower than the main square, and the quality is good. I bought mittens for Meredith and Connor. :) I still have to find something for the others. It is nice to get out and walk so much. I can't believe how well my back is handling the walking. It is very level in our neighborhood which helps.

Little Man could cause my back some problems, though. He is heavy and quite a handful when he decides he doesn't want to cooperate. So far, those times have been few and understandable. We had to hold him while he got 4 shots, poor guy. He didn't want his fingerprints taken either, but we managed.:) His behavior overall is excellent! He is a terrible tease, though. If we react to something, he will do it over and over with a huge grin. He is so funny and has a great imagination. He also loves to help, and will do almost anything to hear me say, "aitah", which means thank you.

He misses his home, poor little man. Yesterday, he asked to go several times. He kept asking for his caregivers by name. It is hard to see him sad, but I am happy to know he is so attached. He loves to cuddle up on the couch with us. I have even gotten a few kisses.

Here are a few random facts for the Crawford kids at home.
1. Dogs are everywhere. We didn't see them before because we were not in a neighborhood.
2. Babies are pushed in carriages, but toddlers and preschoolers are pulled on sleds.:) It is so cute! Way easier than a carriage in all this snow.
3. Everyone under 30 smokes. Yuck! You smell it everywhere.
4. Even the coolest guys wear hats and mittens or gloves and WARM coats.
5. We can watch tv in English-American or British, French, German, Russian, or Estonian.
6. Most of the day is twilight, especially if it is cloudy. It is weird because it feels like evening all day!
7. Business offices are more high-tech than in the US.
8. People here must love herring. There is an entire refigerator case full of smoked herring, pickled herring, herring in cream sauce, herring-spam-eggs-and-herring.:) You get the idea?
9. We ate blood sausage. It tasted okay, but I still get queasy if I think about it too much. I don't think I will ever do it again.
10. WE MISS YOU SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH!!!!!!

First Day

Our first day and night with Andreas went well. Dan and I are still struggling to adjust to the time change. Both of us are a bit foggy and sleepy most of the time. It doesn't help that it is only full daylight for a few hours around noon. Dan had a very tough day, yesterday. He is way too hard on himself. Everything went well with Andreas who LOVES his Daddy. Dan just has a hard time communicating with people here. He is too animated and expressive for this culture. He will be so glad to return to familiar, smiling faces!

Andreas' bed is in the living room,which is where the internet connection is located. That makes posting tough, because when he goes to bed, we lose the computer. I will try to post while he is napping. We are hoping to find another cable that fits the camera so that we can upload some pictures and video.

I hope no one thinks we aren't missing the kids at home!! We have to be here, so we are trying to make the most of it, but we would rather be home. Now that Little Man is with us, we won't be doing too many touristy things. One thing we know for sure, we WON'T be going to McDonalds. We tried to go in to use the bathroom, and Andreas refused to walk through the door.:) Can't say I blame him. Dan and I take turns getting out on our own to shop and explore a bit. It is very beautiful here. It doesn't seem as cold as home because there is less wind.

Crawford kids- I miss you so much I can't stand it!!!! I am happy that you will be going to Grammy's today and then on to the Hartleys. You will have fun celebrating New Years. Everyone here seems to celebrating already-with firecrackers! I hate those things!!! Poor Andreas was covering his ears and running away, calling "help me"! I couldn't tell if he was seriously scared, or just playing because he was laughing like crazy. He looked scared, though. He also calls out "help me" when we wrestle or tickle him. It is so funny. He calls to which ever of us isn't playing at the time. "Mami, help me". Dan loves to make him do it.:)That is something I have to get on video.

We Have a New Son.

Just after 12:00pm, Estonian time, Andreas Reimann Crawford became our 5th child. I can't wait to post pictures. We were very surprised to see him at the courthouse. The judge wanted to meet him before meeting with us. He remembered us and gave us hugs. It was such a delight to see him again. He is just as little and cute as I remembered. We had a fun, but busy afternoon with him. Tonight he is staying one last night in his orphanage. Tomorrow, our new life begins. Thanks for all the love, prayers and support.

We Are Here

Tallinn got lots of snow over Christmas. There is way more than when we were here last winter. It is very pretty with the snow and the Christmas lights. We also have a gorgeous apartment with a park just across the street. I took lots of pictures to show you. When I went to upload them, however, I discovered that the wrong cable had been packed. It doesn't fit this camera. Ugh! No pictures for now. Sorry.

We have court tomorrow at 11:00. That means by the time you are all up, we will have a new son.

We Are In Frankfurt

We made our connection in Chicago. Now we should arrive on schedule. I don't know if we have internet access in our apartment, but I will post as soon as possible.

Crawford kids-We miss you already!!!
Garrett- I'm so glad we can depend on you! Thanks.
Meredith- Hang in there, Sweetie. You will be just fine.
Connor- Thanks for being so comforting to your sister.
Gavin- Miss you like crazy! Be good and have fun.

Thanks everyone for all your help.

Now I'm Excited!

Pretty much everything is done. We are finalizing arrangements and the shopping is done! Some of the presents are wrapped, even. We have had some last minute scrambling, but it all seems to have worked out. The charger came today, Shea!! Now, just pray for Saturday's weather. It is supposed to be icy.

You Must be So Excited!

I am very glad that everyone is excited and happy and overjoyed for us because I honestly have not felt any of those things. When we first got the call I was stunned, shocked, unable to comprehend that it was real. That was followed by a deep sense of relief and gratitude to our Ever Faithful Lord. After that came sorrow and shame that I had ever doubted Him.

Since then, I have spent 3 days sick, then busy preparing for the trip and Christmas and racing to swim meets and concerts and dance recitals. I have been overwhelmed, stressed, and busy-way too busy to feel much of anything positive. BUT....I am convinced that since this is God's timing, it is the right time. I am convinced that when I am weak, He is strong. I am trying to remember to pray. It feels like I am holding a lifeline. Grace, strength, wisdom, peace. Those are my constant requests. I am NOT unhappy or miserable. I am okay.

While I was packing Little Man's new belongings, it struck me that he, like all of my children, will come to me naked and empty-handed. None of my children arrived without a great deal of pain and hard work. This labor will be very different, but no less difficult. I remember rejoicing at those first signs of labor and the early pains. I think I congratulated God on His choice of timing. A little later, when those early pains began to grow stronger, though, I changed my tune. "Maybe tomorrow would be better, Lord. You could just stop things for a while, and I'll rest a bit more, and then I'll be ready." It didn't take long to realize that resting wasn't an option, so I gave up fighting and gave myself over to the process. I so want to do that with this process. I am afraid because so much is unknown. I know it is going to hurt, and I wonder how I am going to handle it. I know it will be hard, and I don't want to lose control. People will be watching, and I want to look good. Somehow, admitting these things makes them seem less important and smaller.

I have to get back to work. There is still MUCH to be done! Please keep our family in prayer. I don't want to lose Christmas in all this rush and bustle.

What a Day!!

Today has been a wonderful day!! This morning, Dan and I visited Little Man's future school and future classroom. We saw several people we know, and ran into a few others we didn't know worked there. Then we met two teachers and visited both their classrooms. We loved both teachers, but one classroom was definitely more appropriate than the other. The whole school seemed to be aware that he will be coming. They were all excited and all knew his name. The teacher asked for a picture to help the other kids get ready for his arrival. The other kids were fun to watch. There are several boys his age. It was so encouraging.

Later in the morning, we headed out to my friend Nancy's old farmhouse in Hebron for our homeschool co-op Christmas party. The kids had a great time sliding in the back yard. They live on a huge hill! Everyone brought gifts for the newest Crawford boy. We got 2 big bags of used clothing as well. All of the new clothes are in the pictures above. Most people didn't sign their gifts, so I don't know who to thank for what!!

The pictures are in reverse order. The last picture shows all the gifts before we unwrapped them. He is going to be a warm and cozy boy. He even got 2 pairs of pajamas that are totally boy! Hurray! No more purple princesses.:) We are so grateful! This was such a HUGE help!!

Please enlarge the quilt pictures so that you can see the details. A very special and thoughtful friend made this quilt for us. We just met this fall, which makes the gift even more special. The love and thought that were put into this hand-made quilt is overwhelming! In the center is a heart. If you look carefully, you will see that the heart is overlapping the squares. Two of the squares are red, white and blue patriotic prints. The other two are the colors of Little Man's country. She had to look that up because it isn't common knowledge. The pattern of the quilt is called "Log Cabin". That was chosen because it represents "home". She really put some thought into this, huh? Then, each square is made of one color. She was thinking that as we tuck him in at night, or cuddle him in this special quilt, we can also help him learn his colors in English.:) I don't even know how to say thank you for such a special gift.

When I got home, I found an envelope from Reece's Rainbow with our grant money enclosed. A couple families gave us money to help outfit Little Man. I wanted a picture of everything we were given, so I will never forget! I am exhausted from thinking about everyone's generosity. Again, I am so thankful!!

Dan came in just after I got home. His office had celebrated our good news at their Christmas party as well. His co-workers all pitched in and gave us gift certificates to help with expenses. Wow! Blessing upon blessing!!

Finally, the first picture is from last week. I had just finished the mittens and wanted to pull together the whole winter outfit. Connor was making hot chocolate at the time. The package said, "Just add water"! When I looked at this picture all I could think was "Just add Boy".:)

School Arrangements Under Construction

Last Friday, I contacted our neighborhood school principal who in turn contacted the system special ed. director. She called me a few minutes ago. I am so impressed! The first thing she did on hearing about Little Man, was to look up his country so that she could learn about his heritage. She was disappointed to learn that he is not home with us yet because she wanted to come meet him today.:) She wants us to tour the school this week, and has started the paperwork for our first IEP. She offered many options for school placement. If we find we want to keep him home, they will provide therapies for us. If we opt for school, he can go full day, part-time, or even come home for lunch. The kids in the classroom he will most likely be in, have swimming lessons every week, and the program seems to be connected with Special Olympics. I'm so excited for all the new experiences Little Man has in store. Of course, we won't rush him into anything. I am just happy to know there are so many opportunities for him. He has missed out for far too long.

We Have An Apartment

The place we stayed before is run by a woman named Jelena. J offered to help us find an apartment because EVERYTHING is booked for New Years. There are celebrations for Christmas, Orthodox Christmas(Jan.), Winter Solstice, and New Years. Next to mid-summer, this is the busiest time of year, so we were lucky to find a place!! Unfortunately, prices are way up because of the high season. J was able to find us a place close to the area we are familiar with. We are so thankful!!!We haven't seen what it looks like, but we don't really care as long as it is warm.She also offered to pick us up from the airport and bring us to the apartment. She is wonderful!! I think I will have to give her a special gift, too.

We are hoping to get a Christmas tree today! Of course, we will never be able to keep Shlya away from it. We also will have to take it down Christmas night....but we PROMISED a real tree this year.

Flights Booked

Golden Rule gave us an amazing deal. Dan and I are leaving from Portland on December 26th at 10:46am. We will be arriving at our destination about 25 hours later. It will be around 5:30pm their time on December 27th. Please pray that all goes as planned with no storms or other delays, since we have court on the 28th.

I was disappointed to learn that the apartments where we stayed before are all booked. Almost everyone who goes there to adopt, stays at those apartments. It sounds like it might be hard to find a place. I guess everyone likes to visit over the holidays. Suggestions anyone?

Much was accomplished yesterday. I contacted insurance companies, school administrators, and doctors' offices. I was able to begin on arrangements for the kids. A couple of people, in addition to our parents have offered to help. I'm going to check in with our church to see if someone would be willing to plow our driveway if it snows while we we're away. We have already had alot of snow, so it is very likely we will get more!

Last night was our office Christmas party. I had a great time. It was a perfectly timed break from the busy-ness of planning. This morning, I am really feeling excited. The shock and panic have worn off a bit. Only 16 days to go!!!! I keep wondering what expression I will see on Little Man's face when he sees us again. I am so hoping it is a happy one!

We Have a Court Date!!!

Monday, December 28, 2009. Only 18 days away!!!!! We are leaving in 16 days. Tonight, I am NOT panicking. I am going to knit, and make lists of everything I will start panicking about tomorrow!

We truly could have gotten Little Man for Christmas. We were offered December 23 as well. Somehow, I just could not wrap my brain around leaving before Christmas at this late date. Some people might think we are horrible to wait, but we will have lots of celebration time with him when we get there a few days later.

For the last month, I have been praying for the 28th. The kids will be on vacation the first week we are gone which will make childcare arrangements much easier! Easier is NOT the right word... less insane is more like it. Wow, wow, and WOW!!!!!!!!

A Little Disappointed-A Lot Relieved

I talked to Diana from AHI today. She called to check on our court date. They don't have one yet. They told her probably January. At this point, I wasn't really expecting a date in December, and had settled myself to wait some more. Earlier this morning, I talked to Barbara who said they were still trying for December. That threw me into full-fledged panic! I couldn't even eat. I have so much to do! What about Christmas? How will I get everything ready? I finally gave up trying to do anything, and took a long, hot shower. When I came out, I got Diana's message. Whew! What a relief.

Unfortunately, I still feel jittery and anxious. My heart is racing like I had too much espresso. The kids helped me bake some Estonian gingerbread cookies. My house smells amazing!! The piparkoogid are delicious, too.

I feel a little guilty about not being too disappointed. Now we can enjoy Christmas. It will be a nice distraction, I think. One thing I can almost say for certain is that a very special little blonde cutie will be celebrating Christmas 2010 with his family!

I still don't know the date, but I believe the countdown is down to a few weeks. Soon we will be counting down the days. Jallenagemiseni!-See you soon!

Caregiver Gifts

Since we returned from you-know-where last February, I have been busy knitting. In Europe we saw scarves, wraps and shawls everywhere.Little Man's caregivers are wonderful, and they love him so much! I want to give them something meaningful and useful and beautiful, too. I decided to make wraps out of worsted weight wool because winters are long and cold there. I had some excellent Ella Rae wool, and it came from Eastern Europe.:)My first 2 projects used up that stash. This summer, I dug around in my stash and found the white, cotton-linen yarn. I bought it on sale 75% off about 20 yrs. ago. How cool to finally have a use for it! It is gorgeous yarn. I could never afford to buy that much full price.So, now I am knitting frantically to complete one last wrap. The pattern I am using is a very simple garter stitch triangle with fringe. It is not lacy and pretty, but the color is nice and the yarn is warm and cozy.

Meredith offered to model for me.:) This was my first attempt. It is called Tiger's Eye lace.





This one was my favorite to knit. The pattern seems very simple at first, but there is depth to the texture and color of the different stitches. It's warm,too.




This one looks complicated, but it is so easy and it knits up really fast. You have to feel this one to appreciate it. It is soft and silky, but there is a coarseness that the linen gives. I LOVE it!

Hopeful

We are still waiting. I say this without the least bit of impatience. I feel like a kid at Christmas. I KNOW it is coming, and I am SO excited! Today, could be the day we get our court date. If not, oh well, maybe it will be tomorrow. I kind of like the way I feel, but I wonder if it is good for me. Out of the blue, my heart will just start racing and I get a burst of adrenaline and strong emotions come flooding in. Usually the emotion is joy, but sometimes it is closer to panic.

I am looking for opinions. We are considering bringing Gavin with us. Little Man is used to having kids around, and it might help to have someone to play with. Do you think that is wise? Is it worth the extra expense? My biggest concern is that Gavin will get bored and homesick. I would love to hear some advice.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was a great day. We spent the day with Dan's family in Cumberland. Since my parents moved from the house I grew up in, going to my inlaws is the closest thing I have to going home. We had good food and fellowship. After dinner, my mother-in-law started asking me questions about Andreas. We never talk about the adoption. We talked about specific orphans I have prayed for, and how sometimes I have been blessed to hear a happy ending of a family for them. When she looked back, she could remember that I had pictures of kids on my fridge. She hadn't really known I have always had a heart for orphans and adoption. Then she asked all about Andreas, and what he is like. Just before we left, I was able to show her the videos my friend Charlotte had taken in July. It felt great to finally introduce her to her newest grandson.

Today, I am especially thankful for all the people who have helped and supported us so far in this process. First, there are the friends who have always understood my calling to pray for orphans, and my desire to adopt. Thank you, Jen, Deb, and Steph. I know I have your whole-hearted support. Then, there is my new friend, Robbi, who jumped right in with prayer and support. My church and co-op friends who joined me in prayer for the money to adopt, and for Dan to be open and willing to adopt Andreas, especially Marti and Barb. There have been so many-Karen, Martha, Joy, and the rest of the co-op moms. Then there is Ruth and Nancy, who were willing to write recommendations for us 2 times! Thank you again.

That was all before we even committed to adopt Andreas. Now there is a whole host of cyber-friends who have been my lifeline in this process. This adoption would never have been possible without Andrea Roberts and Reece's Rainbow. Andrea went to visit Andreas, and took the picture that stole my heart. She has been invaluable with her knowledge of adoption, and the country we are adopting from. Early on, I made contact with a very special woman, Christina. She and her family pray for A and us every day! She also gave me the video that introduced me to my new son. It was the best present I have ever been given!! I know she loves A so very much!! Around the same time, I connected with an amazing mom, Kris. Kris adopted from the same country. Following her blog while she was there was so exciting! We actually stayed in the same apartment on our preview trip. It was incredible to see the same views from the windows that Kris had so carefully captured with a camera. She has been a wonderful source of encouragement and support.

There are a few other RR ladies who have been especially supportive and helpful. Meredith and Shelley have always answered any questions I have had. I am grateful for their experience and willingness to share. Amy, Joy, and Charissa have also been understanding and helpful. To Linda, I am especially grateful. I can send her private emails any time, and know I will get exactly what I need. She has helped me so much!!!

Three of the people I met through RR are also on our country's adoption group. That group has been unbelievably helpful! Everyone there is friendly. We knew exactly what to bring for our first trip. I got maps and directions and even restaurant suggestions from the group. On our preview we were able to meet and spend time with Viola and Steve. They were so gracious and open. They kept us busy after we had to leave A at the orphanage, and made a difficult day much more bearable. Then there is Charlotte. Not only did Charlotte go to visit my boy and take pictures and videos of him, she called me from half-way across the world to tell me about him. That was wonderful! The other day, I caught her on facebook with a question, and she called me immediately and helped me fill out a document. Isn't she amazing? Finally, there is Shea. There is NO ONE I would rather have in my corner than Shea. I think she is as committed to this adoption as we are.:) Shea has helped me with all the ins and outs of the paperwork and navigating the system. She has called me several times, just to say "hang in there". She and Charlotte also reminded the officials there that we are still waiting. I am amazingly blessed!!

My fear now, after naming all these people, is that I will have forgotten someone-(like Mom and Dad and my sisters). Please forgive me if I did. I just felt an overwhelming gratitude that had to be expressed. Thank you, all, from the bottom of my heart!

More Random Stuff

Meredith with her "Marcie" haircut.







Looking cute.:)







Shyla at roughly 6 months. Whatever she is, it is not lab/shepherd!


I think she is a small Cur or a large Feist. See how she holds her ears like a terrier? She has the coloring of a Cur, even the black pigment on her gums and palate. She also has the naturally semi-docked tail and webbed feet, but she isn't even 30 lbs. yet. Feists can be tan and black, but are usually smaller and often have ears that stand up. Shyla holds hers up and forward when she is "working".







She is very smart, and easy to train, except for housebreaking!! I think it is because she spent so much time in a cage. If we give her a blanket, she will pee on it, and then curl up and sleep on it. That is NOT normal. She will also spend a good amount of time outside, and then go on the floor. We have never had trouble housebreaking a dog before.






Shyla and Kody are beginning to get along. Kody still runs away and hides when he doesn't want to play. Shyla is relentless! They love to play tug-o-war with anything. It is a riot to watch them play it with a tennis ball. You can't even see the ball. They look like they are kissing, and around and round they go. Shyla is a little taller and longer, but Kody outweighs her by 15 lbs. He can send her flying. He can't catch her though. Wow, is she fast!









This is not a great picture of Connor in part of his costume. I accidently deleted the good one. He moved and acted like an old man, even if he didn't look old.:)









The cast and crew of "Your a Good Man, Charlie Brown". Meredith is in the orange shirt. The show was well done. I wish I could say I loved it, but I really DON'T like Peanuts or most comics for that matter.









The view from my deck this morning. Even on a blah, November day, it's pretty here. I am so thankful we get to live next to the river!

Busy, busy, busy.

Connor's show opened last night. It was great! He is doing such a good job. I'll have to get pictures tonight. He has 2 separate costumes. I want to get a picture of each. Today, he has 2 school performances, and then 1 for the public tonight. Then, he has 2 tomorrow and he is done.

Meredith's show opens tonight. I have to work at Connor's show so I won't be there.:( I hate it when I have to miss a performance! Dan can't be there either because Garrett has his first catering job at The Green Ladle, and he will probably need to be picked up before the performance is over. Meredith will not be un-watched on opening night, however, because Mimi and Bump will be there. That makes me feel a little better. Meredith also has 2 performances today for the elementary schools. Then she has 1 show on Saturday and 1 on Sunday. Next week is going to be sooooo nice!

I'm trying to figure out how to feed everyone. Maybe a stew in the crockpot and some fresh bread would work? Then, there will be something hot and ready whenever someone is hungry and has time to eat.

In the meantime, Gavin and I have Homeschool co-op this morning. That is always lots of fun!

Random Stuff

The pattern up close. This is very close to a pattern I know is Estonian. This could be Baltic or Scandinavian. The stripes are Scandinavian and Traditional to Maine as well, so I combined the patterns. I got the yarn this summer at the Dollar Tree. It is high quality washable wool which usually goes for $7/ball. What a deal. The pattern I found was called Winter Sunrise and is done in red and gold. The colors I had work perfectly, I think. Little Man looks great in bright colors, too.


Gavin was happy to model for me.:) The hat fits Gavin, Connor and Meredith, so it is bound to fit Little Man as well.


This is our latest Social Studies project. It is called a shaduf. It has been used since the time of the Ancient Mesopotamians. Abraham may have used one of these. Isn't that cool!

On the gray block, we dug irrigation ditches and trenches. The boys had to use the shaduf to water their crops. The little wooden bucket wasn't heavy enough to sink, so Connor came up with the idea of weighting it with the dime. It worked perfectly. I love homeschooling!




My big boy, Garrett and Shyla. He loves this puppy!

I-800 APPROVED

At lunch I had another letter from USCIS saying that our petition was received and in process. I got one of those a week ago. I emailed to check on the status, and the reply said that our case was approved on Tuesday! We should get it any day. Hurray!

I feel like the Tasmanian Devil

I am running around in a happy whirlwind. We need to update our homestudy per Maine law. If things go slowly, we will need to file an extension on our I-800A. There is a chance that things may happen sooner than we thought, so I have to fly. The agency has agreed to rush our update. I have lots to do!!!

My Handsome Son, Connor

Connor has been having a good year. He is homeschooling full-time this year. He does still go to the middle school for band, chorus and drama. He is an eighth grader. Connor has been busy since summer. In August, he played Cogsworth in Beauty and the Beast, Jr. Just after that ended, soccer began. Just after school started, AMS drama started up, and Connor got a lead role in the school play. The performances are coming up in two weeks, so he is really busy right now. Somehow he still makes time to work on learning clarinet, and to ride his unicycle.

Connor gets along well with everyone, and has friends wherever he goes. He seems to be enjoying homeschool co-op where there are lots of boys his age. He made one very close friend last year. Unfortunately, Cameron is at the EL this year, so they don't get together too often. Hopefully, as soon as the show is over, we can start getting them together on a regular basis. They are both quirky kids who love to problem solve and to build paper airplanes. Together they are an amazing team, and very funny, too.

Notification

Today we received notification that our I-800 is officially in process. The letter was sent on Monday. I believe that means we filled it out properly and attached the necessary documents. Pray is goes fast!

We also learned that the date on our fingerprints doesn't matter because they expire when our I-800A does. That date is March 12, 2010. We cannot file an extension until 90 days before the expiration date. So, we are gonna wait until December to update our homestudy. Unless, of course, we find out sooner that we will not get a date before then.

Happy, full of Hope and Joy

Shea's trip to You-know-where has been the most wonderful thing for me. I am so happy for them! It also made me realize that we are getting close, and it really is going to happen for us too. For the first time, I actually believe that. Fully.

Yesterday, I found out that we need to update our homestudy. Instead of feeling stressed, I feel great. Having something to do, something I can do, besides wait, feels so good! The update should be fairly easy and quick. It doesn't look too horribly expensive either. It feels like I am back in the race. Only this time, we get to cross the finish line. And what a prize is waiting for us.:)

I have SO MUCH WORK to do to prepare for Little Man. I haven't bought him anything for clothes or toys. I LOVE this feeling. I love having assignments and having a deadline. We still don't have an exact time, but I know it is soon. Soon is such a motivating word!!!!

The Place I'd Like to Be

My friend and her husband are there right now, adopting their son. I am so happy for them. At the same time, it makes the waiting so much harder. I want to be there so badly!!!!

Soon! I know it will be soon.

Today is the Last Day

that Oskar is an orphan. It is almost morning there, too. I don't know what time they have court, but it may be official before I get up in the morning.:) Hurray. His parents worked sooooo hard to bring him home. I am celebrating for all of them. Gotta go look at his pictures one more time.

Forms Completed

I'm off to make copies and send our package to USCIS. Please pray that everything is filled out correctly and will be processed quickly. We are getting used to the idea that we may have to update our homestudy and re-do our fingerprints. BUT....I am not giving up hope yet. We can still make it before our prints expire. Now that we have the documents, I am okay with whatever happens. The longer it took, the more I was afraid he wouldn't be available. Now, it feels real.

Got 'Em!

The documents arrived this morning. Hoping to send out our I-800 tomorrow.

Delete, delete, delete

I think I have removed all the forbidden pictures from my blog. It was fun to go back and read a few of the posts. Wow,am I sappy!

Sadness

My heart is breaking for the loss of a precious little girl I never met. She spent 5 years alone in a crib because of her physical disabilities. I'm trying to be happy knowing Diana is finally receiving the comfort she never had here. She was a beautiful little girl who was created to be cuddled and loved, tickled and played with. I am so sorry she was unable to make it into the arms of the waiting Mama who so wanted to bring her home, but was held up by the rules of men. Please pray for comfort for the family who had already claimed her in their hearts.

DOCUMENTS

The documents we have been waiting on for 7 months are finally on US soil!!!! FedEx is supposed to deliver them to us on Monday! I am so unbelievably happy!!!

A New Blog

Many countries are asking families and adoption agencies to remove photos and identifying information from their blogs and other public, internet forums. We are trying to comply with that request.

Since this is a family blog, we decided to keep it going. Our adoption journey can now be followed on our new blog. Some information will be password protected. Thank you to those who have followed our journey, and supported us this far. It does look like the end is in sight.:)

Go Private?

Well, I need to decide whether to go private or to remove pictures. I HATE signing in, and lots of times I forget to ask to be added, and I can't follow along anyway. I guess I need to figure out why I'm blogging in the first place.

More Forms to fill out, but still no Documents

On Friday, I received a very brief email with 2 new forms attached. We need to sign and send back the forms asap. One of them is related to confidentiality. There is a good chance I will have to remove my pictures and any mention of Little Man by name or country. I immediately sent an email asking if that will be necessary. So far, I haven't gotten a reply. I should probably just do it because I don't want to offend anyone in his country or cause trouble. I almost called today, but didn't for two reasons. First, I don't WANT to have to do that! I love knowing that people see his sweet face, and it helps them remember to pray for him. The second reason is not very nice at all, so I won't share it. Please pray for me. I have a very bad attitude that needs changing. Right now, I am not feeling at all repentant, even though I know it is wrong.

So, take a good, long look at Little Man's pictures because it may be your last chance until he is officially a Crawford. Please pray that the documents come NOW!

On a better note... Sunday, I was grumbling about the wait, and worrying about having to re-do our fingerprints and filing for an extension on our I-800A, and right in the middle of my tirade, I just KNEW that it didn't matter. I don't need to worry. However long it takes, whatever it takes, everything will work out. How can I worry about money, when I have been shown before that it WILL be provided. We can all see how God's timing is perfect-at least, after the fact, or in someone else's life.:) So underneath, I still have assurance. I wish I could say that makes waiting easier, but it doesn't. I wish I could be a better Christian, but I'm not. I could write things that sound wonderful and full of faith, but it would be a lie. The real me is not a pretty sight. My wish was to use this blog to glorify God, to tell of His deeds, to show how He is Sovereign. I hope you can see His glory shining through in spite of my grumbling and complaining. He has been, is, and will be FAITHFUL.

Shyla Has Grown

Here she is.















Shyla has really come out of her shell! She is sweet and smart. On Wednesday, we took her to the vet. I had to carry her into the building, but she had time to sniff around and get comfortable. She actually fell asleep on the exam table while we waited for the doctor. Dr. M believes that Shyla is a true Heinz 57 mix. She does agree with "lab mix" as an official title, though, because of her head, ears, and webbed feet. Shyla is smaller than a typical lab pup, so she will not likely be very big, maybe 40-50 lbs. Dr. M did say there is a chance that she will have a "catch up" growth spurt because her early life in a cage probably kept her from growing normally. Right now, Shy is slightly taller and longer than Kody, and weighs 20 lbs. She is close to being housebroken, and will sit in front of the door when she needs to go out.

Checking In

I'm having trouble uploading photos right now. I have a few I'd like to share. Things have been going well. Three weeks ago, I ordered a poster collage of several of the pictures Charlotte took of Andreas. It was supposed to print out at our local Staples the next day, but it didn't. They had no record of it. I made a phone call, and was told it would be there the next day, but it wasn't. That night, I made several phone calls. In the end, a very helpful, very nice customer service rep. told me I probably wouldn't get it, and I should start over. Well,I was bummed. I just put it out of my mind. A few days ago, I got a not-so-nice call from Staples asking if I planned to pick up my poster. Supposedly, they had called me several times and this was my last chance to pick it up before they threw it away. We picked it up as soon as possible. The poster is amazing!! Everyone thinks it is framed photographs, but it is just a printed poster. It is mounted on the wall in our dining room, where it will stay until we bring home the "real thing" to share our table.

My friend, Shea, just got her court date. It is November 2!!! That is so close!! She will finally have her little boy home, and just in time for Thanksgiving! I am so excited for her. We started this process at almost the same time. She was able to complete her homestudy and dossier sooner than we were, but she had many additional challenges. I am just so,so,so,so,so happy for them all!

I would love to buy clothes and toys for Andreas, but something keeps stopping me. First of all, I have no idea what size to buy, especially shoes! Maybe when the promised documents finally arrive I will go buy something. It will be 2 weeks on Tuesday from the phone call saying our documents were done being translated and on the way here. I am beginning to get impatient.

Last week, my sweet Meredith was invited to the Homecoming dance. She is a Freshman, and she was asked by another Freshman. I shouldn't have been shocked, but I was! We also had very little time to pull together an outfit. I have a cute picture of her that I also wanted to post. She was able to borrow a dress, and she had shoes, so we just needed a necklace and something to cover her shoulders. The dress was much more shocking than the invitation! Meredith picked out a cute cover-up that tamed the outfit enough to make it acceptable.

Shyla is doing well. She has certainly come out of her shell. She is no longer skittish, and she loves people. I brought her to the soccer field today. She was a big hit! Everyone asked if she was one of the rescue pups. Our paper had done a front-page article on the puppies. They all oohed and ahhed while Shyla sat sweetly and licked their hands and faces. She certainly isn't growing as fast as Gracie did, and she doesn't have those enormous paws, so we don't expect her to be very big. I can't wait to hear what the vet has to say about her.

Hopefully, I will have good news soon! I will try to post some pictures, too.

Meet our new pup

This is Shyla in her new favorite place.:) Shyla is around 4 months old. She was rescued from a kill shelter in Alabama along with 11 other puppies. Most of her life was spent in a dirty crate or a wire cage. Every one of her footpads had open sores when we met her 2 days ago. She is healing up quickly, but her feet are still red and tender between her toes. Poor baby.





Shyla is believed to be a lab/shepherd cross. I think she looks shepherd in this picture.






Okay, she does look a bit like Sadie.








This one shows her little tail. No one knows why, but Shyla only has 1/2 of her tail. We love it!







Alright, she looks ALOT like Sadie.:)




This was Shyla's welcome when we arrived at the shelter today.Is that a Sadie face, or what?
She and her puppy friends all managed to step in that nice plop of dog poop there. Then they all jumped on each other. Shyla got a bath almost as soon as she got home. The pictures do not show her beautiful colors very well. Underneath she is a creamy, buff color. The rest of her is honey-gold with a "blanket" of red-gold from the top of her head down her back.
Kody seems to like her a little better than Gracie. She just loves him!!

Happy Thoughts

First, our documents have been sent from Estonia!!! Soon we will be one step closer to our boy. My friend, Shea, another wonderful Estonia group(and RR) friend, has offered to help us fill out our I-800. I love the support we get in our Adopting from Estonia group.

Second, tomorrow we pick up our new puppy. She is a sweet, little rescued Alabama girl. More info. with pics tomorrow. Right now, she is not sure what humans are all about. Hopefully, a weekend with the Crawfords will help her to start coming out of her shell. Anyone who has known us for a while will know why we picked her as soon as you see her.:)

Third, I think I have a permanent, 2 day/week position at a great office about 1 mile from home. We haven't worked out all the details yet.

New Week

New week. Hopefully a good one. The sun is back out today. It is mornings like this that make me so grateful to live, here, beside the river. The leaves are beginning to turn, so the green is broken up with bits of orange and yellow-so pretty. I love watching the water move. When the wind blows, it looks like it is flowing upstream. Even more fun than watching the water, is watching its reflection. On sunny mornings like this, the sun sparkles on the ripples and then its reflection bounces off the leaves which are also dancing in the breeze. It can almost make me dizzy. I sort of feel like I am afloat or swaying lightly in a hammock. Obviously, I can't describe it well, but it is beautiful to see. Maybe I can get a picture!

I wish I had some adoption news. I am beginning to worry that something is wrong...that maybe he isn't available....or, they can't find all the necessary documents. To be honest, I am beginning to lose hope. I sure wish our agency at least made an effort to keep in touch. Even a monthly update of, "no news", would be better than nothing. They don't even answer my emails. Grumble, grumble. I guess this is NOT the best way to start a new week.

I started out hopeful and cheerful. I am determined to stop grumbling, and keep going. I will once again take Andrea's advice,"Head up, Shoulders Back".

Tragedy

We lost our puppy, Gracie today. She was just 12 weeks old. She was ours for 4 short weeks. On Friday, she managed to swallow a sock. Last night, she got another one. I pulled a third from her throat. She was determined to eat socks! We had been in touch with our vet and the emergency clinic since Friday. There was a chance that she would pass the socks. We were told to watch for vomiting or diarrhea. Today, while I was at work, Gracie started vomiting. My parents called Dan who brought her to the vet. Our wonderful Dr.M did x-rays and saw something solid in there. They did surgery this afternoon and removed both socks. They called to say Gracie made it through the operation just fine. About an hour or so later, Dr.M called back in tears to say that Gracie's heart had stopped beating. They even tried CPR, but she was gone. Dr. M thinks it was the anesthesia. We are so, so sad!!

Just for the record... We did not have socks lying around the house. She was a master sneak, and she got into our bedroom where the laundry was. She snagged the other two socks last night as I was carrying a basket of clean laundry from the bathroom to the bedroom. We usually kept her gated off from the rest of the house or in her crate when we were too busy to watch her.

Gracie was an amazing puppy!!!!She always(almost)came when we called. She would sit and look right us. She was so smart and learning so fast! It feels like some kind of cruel joke. Gracie had the potential and promise to be a WONDERFUL and well-behaved dog. I can't explain how special she was. Ask my friends, Deb and Carol, who aren't dog people. Gracie stole their hearts. She stole everybody's heart. Mine is broken.

Hurray for Milos!!

Milos has a family!!! He is the cutest little guy. Just look at those eyes. He sure looks like he is full of mischief. I fell in love with this little boy at first sight. In appearance, he is totally the opposite of Andreas, with his dark skin, hair and brown eyes. In other ways, they have much in common. Both are older boys with Down Syndrome living in orphanages. Both were born in September, and both are in the double digits. Milos just turned 10 a few days ago. I wanted to try to talk Dan into adopting him, too, but I knew it was a "me" thing. It was not at all the "GOD" thing that happened with Andreas. So, I have just prayed for him often. I am SOOOOO happy that he has a family.

I am happy, too, that I was able to compare my "want" for Milos, and my "call" for Andreas. It has helped me to remember. I went back and re-read all those early emails to Andrea at Reece's Rainbow. I went back over the timeline of this whole process. I have been waiting a long time, but others might view it differently. I saw the Red Cap Picture in February of 2008, and I KNEW. For me, the wait started then. We commited to Andreas on April 23, 2008, and the wait began for our RR family. Then we had a few glitches, and we finally started our homestudy on May 30, 2008. The homestudy agency required us to take a class in August, so we couldn't complete our homestudy until we completed that class. Then, we got a rough draft in Sept. and had to wait 5 weeks until we got the completed copies. A copy was duly sent to AHI who said they didn't know us. What??!! Are you kidding? I was in contact with them since April, but, there was a misunderstanding. I thought they said we couldn't apply until we had a completed homestudy. They were waiting for our application(with the accompanying fee)before they would start working with us. So, for AHI, our wait began in October 2008. We finally got I-800A approval in January, and VERY QUICKLY got a date for our preview trip in February. I am guessing that as far as Estonia is concerned, our wait began in January. I still feel like we have been waiting way too long, but it helps to put things in perspective.

Thank you for all the encouraging comments! It helps. Looking back and remembering was a good thing, too. We won't give up, no matter how unreal it feels. I am still holding on in faith. The Lord provided miraculously. He sustained us through the initial trials, and He truly blessed our trip last winter. It was so apparent that we were doing the right thing. So, we continue to wait, in faith, with hope, that we will SOON be returning for Andreas.

Coming Soon....Pictures

My friend Charlotte(who is amazing by the way)just sent me 65 pictures of Andreas. Not 5 or 6, sixty-five! Isn't that amazing!!! I finally dragged myself away long enough to post. I will soon add some of my favorites. She also has videos for me when she can upload them.

This is Charlotte's 2nd trip to Estonia. Both times, she went out of her way, and had to talk her facilitator into taking her to other orphanages to visit the kids who are being adopted by members of our yahoo group. Isn't that great! She understands how much those visits and photos mean to us back home because this is her 4th international adoption! I can't wait until we go back to Estonia. I will try my hardest to visit someone else's child for them. I would love to be able to give someone as much joy as Charlotte's kindness has given me(us,Dan and the kids are happy too)! She also brought the photobook we made for Andreas to him. He loves it! You can tell by the pictures.:)

September 1

Well, today is September 1st. We were told our adoption process was "on hold" until after Sept. 1, when a certain judge returns from vacation. The nice thing about hearing that bit of news is that it helped me put my wait on the backburner. Now, I will start "waiting" again. That is the bad thing about bits of news like that.

I do have another reason to be hopeful and excited, though. My friend, Charlotte, is in Tallinn, adopting her beautiful daughter. She is hoping to go see my Little Man tomorrow. It may not happen, so I am trying to keep the excitement in check. Her plan is to visit and give him the picture book we made for him. If it doesn't work out, she will either send the photo book or have Igor get it to him, so at least Andreas gets a birthday gift from us. BUT, there is a chance that she will meet him. I can't tell you how much it means to me!!! She may get photos for me,too. Can you believe it? an update,wow! As much as I would give to get new pictures, I appreciate the visit even more!! To have someone actually see him, touch him, makes him so much more REAL to me. To have someone I trust tell me he is well means more than I can explain. Charlotte is really special! Her daughter was in a completely different city, and she visited other families' kids on her first trip, too! She had to go out of her way to arrange transportation and ok the visits. I sure hope I get the chance to do the same for another family when we go back!

Introducing.....GRACIE

Isn't she a cutie:)

We had just decided to wait until Spring, when we learned that the Humane Society had puppies. Dan and I visited with the pups. There were 6 in her litter. Gracie is by far the smallest and most submissive. I was able to watch the puppies eat, play,and then sleep. Gracie was the one who got stepped on, knocked over, and gave up her toys without much of a fight. They had given all the puppies G names. She was Grace, but we prefer Gracie. Her mother is a black lab, and her father is a rotti/mastiff mix. She isn't nearly as big as Sadie was,but check out those paws!

Thanks, everyone for your opinions. It was fun reading your responses. The only thing we HAD decided on was the puppy part. We rescued Kody as an adult, and he came with lots of issues. We are trying to implement some "Dog Whisperer" techniques, and have already seen some positive changes.