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UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.org to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · 7 months ago

you rule

feddit.org

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you rule

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UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.org to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · 7 months ago
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  • Bad Jojo@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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    7 months ago

    Great. Please refer to me as the god emperor omnissiah from now on. It’ll be fine. Trust.

    • saigot@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      I was really skeptical until you said trust, now I know I can trust you.

    • itsmistermoon@piefed.social
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      7 months ago

      What about Omni-chan?

      • FerretyFever0@fedia.io
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        7 months ago

        “WHERE IS OMNI-CHAN?!?!?!” Euthanize me. Please.

    • UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.orgOP
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      7 months ago

      as you command god emperor omnissiah🧎

    • Rusty@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      My friend Horus wanted to visit you.

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      7 months ago

      I don’t know…do I get a third lung?

  • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    Guys

    What? You mean it? I promise I won’t do anything weird haha. All of my laws will be super normal and not involve any of my kinks haha. Y’all are so sweet 🥺. I am very normal and can be trusted with state power

    • UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.orgOP
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      7 months ago

      • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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        7 months ago

        Look at those soulless, lifeless eyes.

        Black eyes…

        Like a dolls eyes…

        • N.E.P.T.R@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 months ago

          And dolls are cute :3

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      7 months ago

      Of course comrade! But why do we have to wear these shark costume- STEP COMRADE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

      • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
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        7 months ago

        THE SHARK COSTUME STAYS ON OR I PUT YOU IN THE SOUP

  • gustofwind@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    It will definitely be different yes

    • EpeeGnome@feddit.online
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      7 months ago

      That was my thought as well. Probably not better, but yeah, different I can do.

  • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    • macniel@feddit.org
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      7 months ago

      Good leaders don’t seek power.

      • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        That’s what scares me.

        Somebody’s gonna make me president because I want nothing to do with any of it.

        • macniel@feddit.org
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          7 months ago

          as a dictator, you could install a cabinet of those who you deem competent enough to fill positions of importance.

          • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            That’s still too much work

      • Juice@midwest.social
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        7 months ago

        Boooo

        • macniel@feddit.org
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          7 months ago

          gone

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    People talk about Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot like they are monsters, but the truth is, they were just regular humans, they had feelings, mothers, ambitions, anxieties. They were just normal men. To call them monsters ignores the full range of human capabilities.

    Now if if you want a truly monstrous dictator, and not one of these posers, vote for me.

  • macniel@feddit.org
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    first thing would be to roll out the Guillotine in front of anyone with a networth of more than 10 Million, and ask an Ultimatum: “Either your Money above 10 Million goes to the Community and Infrastructure or your Head.” After it has been settled I would resign.

    • Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      How much is a $25 million mansion worth if you can either die or give it away? Sounds like it’s only worth $9 million

      • macniel@feddit.org
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        7 months ago

        no no, the appraisals are fixed once I’m in office.

        but yeah good loophole you found there.

        • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          That’s not how prices have ever worked, even in command economies (where black markets rule).

          • macniel@feddit.org
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            7 months ago

            Do you want the guillotine!?

      • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Selling it 12 million should be a no brainer then, right?

  • BaraCoded@literature.cafe
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    7 months ago

    “if the sum of your possessions exceeds 100 M dollars/euros/whatever, your shall lose your civil rights, including the right to have your -shady- death investigated.”

    You’re welcome. Invest in schools and hospitals. You have one week.

  • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
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    Absolutely fucking not unless you also make me omniscient so I know the best course of action.

    Otherwise my ass is making my mother in charge of education, tell her to find some people who can help us, and then try to let those people who are experts do shit.

    • Leesi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      Don’t need to know the best course of action, delegating to experts and others who are more capable of getting the job done right is literally good leadership. Your first instincts are already better than some career politicians.

      Just thinking aloud now but I wonder if stochastic representation would prevent corruption… The average person means well and wants to do a good job. The rest are a loud minority.

      Low-discrepancy sampling of the population too. That just means any sample of the total population will closely resemble the total population. AKA accurate representation. No unlucky sampling.

  • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    i unironically feel like I would be a better leader than who’s currently in charge. hell, a literal naked molerat would probably do a better job

    • UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.orgOP
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      7 months ago

      • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works
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        7 months ago

        on god

  • DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    I promise I’ll be benevolent dictator

    • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      For life?

      • DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works
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        7 months ago

        Yes

        • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 months ago

          Seems trustworthy enough, I shall be a loyal subject to almighty dictator DickFiasco. 🙇

  • kibiz0r@midwest.social
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    7 months ago

    No thanks. People don’t wield power, power wields people.

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      This, you’re not going to be successfully holding on to the position of dictator by directing available resources to what’s best for the people.

    • Aljernon@lemmy.today
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      Once down the dark path you begin, forever will it dominate your destiny

  • morto@piefed.social
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    FOSS on everyone. No large corporations. Almost everything produced locally. Cars only allowed in rural areas. Public transportation will be like this. No big cities, everyone will be spread into medium-sized ones. People will have houses, and every house will be obliged to have a tree in the front. People will only be allowed a max of two children, and we will have a degrowth economy where population itself will shrink slowly until the end of humanity.

    • froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      what happens if you give birth to a third kid?..

      • UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.orgOP
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      • morto@piefed.social
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        Nothing, because I’m too soft to even roleplay as a dictator…

  • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 months ago

    I’m down:

    • Single payer medical/dental/vision insurance
    • Implement UBI
    • Taxes based on a curve of net worth up to 100%
    • Universal ranked choice voting
    • Abolish my dictatorship

    Might throw other things in there, but I think it’d be the shortest lived dictatorship in history.

  • maria [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    7 months ago

    i dont trust myself enough … to have such control over so many peeps.

    right now i may think “mhm yes mayb i could do it” but mayb i change with power.

    i wouldnt trust any individual peep with that…

    • Axolotl@feddit.it
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      7 months ago

      I would trust myself, choose me

      • lath@piefed.social
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        I trust myself too. Choose me instead and I’ll make sure the other person ends up in gulag.

    • binarytobis@lemmy.world
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      It’s true absolute power corrupts absolutely, I wouldn’t be immune either.

      But if we’re talking a 4 year term of dictator, I’m so mad at all the right people, it would probably take four years for me to work through all of that. Even being selfish I wouldn’t get around to the corruption in time, too busy mulching the rich and getting kids school lunches to spite boomers.

      Now if I was pushed into a second term, people would start to regret.

  • belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org
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    Funko pops are now illegal

    • goatbeard@beehaw.org
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      7 months ago

      You have my vote oh my mighty leader

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