I swallowed a bee. Not on purpose. I was out boking and singing along to my current favorite album (the last best concert I went to) and, well, my relationship with bees requires some explaining.
When I was a kid, bees liked to land on my glasses, then climb around to the inside. In between the glass and my eyeball. Have you ever tasted your bravery? Courage? Just whether you could stand really fucking still? Bees like my eye juices okay.
So a bee came at me. Went in my mouth while I was singing on my bike ride. If you can’t sing while you’re exercising, you’re working too hard. I may or may not have been part of a roving band of violent minstrels when I was younger. That’s beside the point. The damn bee I can still feel it on my uvula. Aaaaaa
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omg I would fall off my boke
Would sound like “bonk” if you feel off your boke, right?
only if you bork it
it’s a tricucle and i still nearly fell off spitting. thanks bee god for cruise control
“beeside the point”
also, friend, not dull.
A dull man may experience the undull and yet remain dull
So you were singing in the key of bee?
Pretty sure now it’s the key of bee flat…
bee sharp. ow.
Dull point of order: There is no b-sharp. That would be c. :P
Dull argument raised and noted, bee sharp and cee natural are musical cinnamon rolls. Cee flat and bee natural are also cinnamon rolls. They are simply uncommon notations. It is like finding an archaic definition in the dictionary. Like the double sharp and double flat notations.
Now I want a cinnamon roll.
My dogs likes to snatch flies out of the air. He thinks of them as sky raisins.
You ate a jalapeno sky raisin.
Wait, when purple say wassup dawg they are talking to me now? I’ve never felt so… Itchy. My brain is itchy fucking bees.
I’ve had bees clock me at high-speed in the forehead while biking, which sucks (for me and the bee I expect) – but swallowing one whole? Wow.
If you feel guilty, as penance go hand-pollinate a few flowers each morning for the next few days. There’s work to be done! :)
i was only doing 15, so not that high speed. maybe. the headwind is usually 20mph on that stretch of road. i’m wearing a full helmet from now on.
A bandana works pretty well at keeping bugs out if you want to save a few bucks.
Just relax. The bee is in control now.
we are bee now
Best small prose of the internet today.
🏆
Aww thank you. I just wanted to get my emotions out. Also I swear it didn’t die and it’s crawling around in my sinuses and I’m going to be hallucinating that all next year. Hell help me if a beard hair curls up there
I’ve taken bees in the mouth when I’ve been out on my dual sport. That can be painful at 60kph.
Bornk
Sorry for you and the bee :'(
That being said, what is your current favorite album?
my current favorite album
Yes! we want answers!
this is the funniest part. i had just switched over to Bleed Out by the Mountain Goats. The chorus to Training Montage goes “I am doing this for revenge” spit spit bee oh god no
Was it a honeybee or a bumblebee?
It tasted like burning
OH no it must have been a ⁁̸̴̸̸̵̵̷̸̸̷̴̴̸̶̧̧̧̡̡̛̳̰̟̱̩̦̣̜͉̟͓̠̺̦̫͕̲̫̠͈͇͙̳͖͓͓͍͚͔̭̭̫͓̮̘̗͓͎̰̜̥̞͎̹͔̫̯̘̞͍̲̻̥͇̥̘̠̤̠̜̠̜͍͈̯̼̙͇͎̪͔̘͉̆̇̀̆̈́̄́̆͌̆̎̏̽̊̑̄̔̓̄͗̉̀̏͑̓̉̓͌͐͑̍̀̃̈́̋̏̓̅͛̆̈̉͋̅̔̌͐̈́͛̋͐̓̓̒̔̅̄̄́̎̍̉̓̀̆͆̑̀͑͂̀̓̊̿̌̃̓͛́͛͗͌͆̇̈́̿̒͌͐͑̊̓́̑̂̏̀͒̂̆͗͗̾̒̏̈́͌̒̈́̍͛̕̕̕͘̕͘͘̚̕̕̕͜͝͝͠͝͝※̷̵̶̵̷̵̵̵̵̶̸̴̸̵̵̸̶̶̵̶̴̷̷̢̧̨̡̧̧̧̧̡̡̧̢̢̡̨̨̢̢̧̡̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͖̙̭̤͈̣̳̹̗̻̗̖̙̠̙̤͍̪̟̼͔̻͖̲̦̪͕̹̙̤̼͇͉̻̠̳̰̗̼̗̭̙̹̬̩̫̳̯̱̥̘̠̠̦̭̰̲̻̬͙̲̬̩̟̮̠͖͇̩͍̺̩̼̞̱͈̠̯̯̪̘̝̪̗̥̝̖̜̬̰͔̲̣̟͖̲͉̼̯̦͉͍̦͉̜̜̲͔̙̳̣͇͈̘̼̥̦̣͉̜͔̤̦̠͍͈̖͕͍̠͇̙̪̰͔̣͍̣̱̞͓̖̼̜͉̱͕̻͖͕͉̗̘̝̜̥͚̙̗̭̳̬̰̤̲̞̬̰̬̼̠̹̻͎̦̠̤͓̤̗̯̹̖̩͉̫̒̏͗͗̈́͗̀́͒͗͋̀̈̓̾̆́̈́̑́͆̉̇̈́̒͌̀̒̍͐̃̈́́͗̑̏͑̎̿͐̊̔́̐́̂̓̔̐̀̈́̀͑̉͛͋̏̃̃͑̾̅͐͋̿̆̃́̓̌̾̔̔̑́̆͛̊͐̀̑̆̒͐̓̈͆̃̏̓͑͋́͐̓̉̈́̒̃͌̀͐̾̄̎́̆̒̀́̌̏̈́̏̏̏͐̔̋̂̌̏͊́̽̓̏́͗̿̔̀̏͑̈́̆͆͂̀̃̑̎̓́̌̾̇̏̑͗̋̂͊̀̈́̓̌͊̀̏͐̓͘͘͘͘͘̕͘͘͘̚̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͠͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅ⁐̸̶̷̶̴̸̷̷̵̵̶̵̷̨̡̧̧̨̡̧̢̨̨̧̛̛̛͕͕̫̣͉̮͍̼̳̻̗̮̘͇͇̣͇͓̳̗͙͕̲͕̫̥͉͙̯͕̮͓͓̫͈̰͎͖͓͓̰͍̹̹̳͓̰̞̤̦̖͚̟̟̻̻̱̮̰̯̪̜̻̟͇̞͓͇̰͇̦̯̮̟͉̫̘̲̱̳͇̻͚̲͖̝̔͑̏̑̇͂́̈́̈́͛̊̾̏̏̈́͑̀͆̈́̅̒͐̅͒̾́͊̓́͋͑̀̋̈́̎̿̒̀̏͒̀̌̌̍̎̅͐̅̓͊̿̔͛͊͆̌̀́͒̈́̊̂̿̀̔́̋͑̍̆͊͛̒̒͗͂́̇̌̅̀͊͌̽̑́̅̌̆̾̉̓̅̔̎̃̕͘̚̚͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ⁽̸̸̴̷̶̶̷̸̵̷̵̵̴̶̸̶̵̶̷̢̢̧̨̨̧̧̡̨̨̨̡̨̡̛̻͈̹͎̩͍̫̳̫̜̰̘̪̹͔̰̹̝̮͎͙̖̱̗̰͚̟̭͈̖̠̳͎̼͍̳̻̯͉̩͕̙͎̖̞̤̪̩͍̥̝̪͉̱̱͚̗̺̖͙̹̩͖̠̯̻̣̟̪̟̲͓͈͍͕͎͎̗̫̰̰͓͚̰͕͓̞͔͖̗͎͇̱̹̻̱͖͇͇̤͔̹̪̼͈͎̫̥͖̫͔̜̹̘̹͉̠̰͈̮͓͈̱̤͎̟̣̟̼̼̤̮͎̖̠̮͕̦̲͈̳͕̹͇̗̘̦̻̤̙̖̳̖̦̫̳̼̓̒̉̂̓̀̓̒̆͋́͒̽̎̓̆͆̓͆̾̍̆̀̂͛̐̆̽̎̐̈́͗̇͒͛̀̌́̏̅̇̂̔̆͛̔̽̎̃̑̅̌̀͆̿̂̈́̾͒͑̅́͋̉̿͛́̍͛͗̔͗̄̂̓͊̾͋̇̽́̂́̐̆͐̊̈͒̃̈͊̾̊̒̌̀̾̆̊̓́̃̋̈́̔̋̋͆͛̐́͑̏̾͑̐̌̐̓̀͂́̄̅̃̏̇̃̄̐̀̈̓̏͌̊͗́͌͋̄̚͘͘̕̚̕͘̕͘̚̕͘̚͘̕͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅ⃤̴̸̸̵̵̷̵̵̷̶̷̸̶̷̸̸̸̡̡̧̡̨̢̧̡̧̢̨̡̢̡̛̛̦͉̩̘̖̻̠̜̙͖͇̘̹̱̲̺̺̰͙̘̘͚̞͙̺̺̻͇̥͉͕̟̘͈̙̭͇̪͈̭̭̩̘͚̪̹͎͖̤͙̜̬̫̼̖̟̼͎̤̱͕̞̩̟͉͔̩͚̤̪̱̳̗͙̭̪͓̬̪͉̫̦̟͙̙̰̜̼͙̞̲̗̞̮͈̤̫̝̩̬̖͇̹̬̦̼͕͓̦̖̰͉̮͉̲͔̗̜͖̭̟͍̣͎̙̘̰̥͇̟͇͎̘̖͔̞̭̭̮͈̲͉̞̲̣̗͈͇͉͙̹͓̪͎͔͋̈́͌͑̆̓́̓̏̔͆̍͑͌͆̈͑̽̓̒̌̾͑͑̈́͋̿͒́̇̄̔͗͊͒̾͛͗̍͂͑̈́̏̒̒̐̑̌̓̈́̆͌̅̏͌̉́́̋̊͌̎̐̋̈̄̐̀̐͋̈́̾̄͂͐̐̈͊͛͆͒͑̾̋̆̑͌͂̀̽̎̎̏͛̈́̏͌͗͐́̈̍̊̚̕̕̕̕̚̚̚̕͘͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝ͅͅ⃣̵̴̷̷̶̸̴̴̸̷̷̴̸̢̧̡̨̨̨̢̧̧̛̛̣̘̼̬͔̺͉͔̩͖̬̲̠̟̹̼͉̜͍͙͈̤̱͖̹̘̮̭̬̣̱̜̘̝̤̪̮̥̪͓͉̲͔͕͇̮͈̥̺̭͎̠̼̞͙̜̘̜̟̬̙̻̻͇͇͙̞͓̝̹̗͙̳̗̱̰̰̩̩̟͙̣̀̒͌̄̓̉̑̐̀͂͗̿̔̒̈́̄̆̒̓̊͋̉͑̌̀͋͐̎̑̀̒̍͑́̊̒͒͆̐̅͋̄̀̈̌̇̀̍̍̔̐̔̍̽͋̀̀̀̇̏̇͌̽̋̽͗̃̍͗̀̂̈̇̊̽͒͆̚͘͘̕͜͝͝ͅͅͅbee
Rest in Peace, I’m sure you’ll realize you have been ⃦̸̶⃘̵̵̧̧̧̡̛̭̮̲̦͉̪̺̟̬̺͕̤̟̹͚͎̖̦͉͔̼̘͕̺̣̺͔̣̠̟̤̬̜̘̮̱̗̜͇̫̥̅̈́͌⃧̒͆͋͆͗̽̈́̿⃐́̀̿̀̋̽̑̓͂̒̚̕̚̕͘͜ momentarily.
Idk of any Burning Bees
Isn’t that where hot honey comes from?
Hot honey is obviously from Sexy Bees
I stand corrected.
if you can’t sing while working out
Then you just found your pace. You should be able to hold a conversation, not sing.
disagreed, but i’m a vocalist. i should be able to sing. normal people should be able to hold a conversation.
also, this is advice i got from a high school running coach who took all of his teams to state and won every year, so are you sure?
I think we’re probably talking about the same threshold rather and disagreeing about semantics
Maybe your coach was teaching just able to sing and what I have trained is just barely unable to sing
if you’re special you’re special though, as you said you’re a vocalist who throats bees 🤷
we were running around town singing so idk. i was never one of the good runners. all the sports teams i’ve been on except soccer i was the mascot. soccer i was the ball.
Careful, now. That sort of thing killed a billionaire recently.
I’m trying. I swear I was just being penisy. Next time I ride that stretch, full motorcycle face helmet.
I can still feel it too. I bet the stingers in my throat or something
Guess you will need some kind of face shield from now on.
The worst part is last summer I bought a bunch of bright colored balaclavas to protect from sunburn. Bees? Who needs bee protection
Am I missing the point that the balaclava could have also prevented the bee’s demise?
Maybe. It would have prevented it going into my mouth and me swallowing it, and possibly it setting up a little nest in my sinuses. The bee chose to be eaten. I did not choose to eat it. It was like, antivegan. I don’t know the right word.
🫂
I can agree that being forcefed bees does not violate your vegan sobriety. Should you be vegan, it’s up to you whether you choose to start counting over.
