Reminds me of the Tosh line: “being an ugly woman is like being a man – you’re gonna have to get a job.”

I honestly don’t think he has PTSD, doesn’t seem the type. He spent the war riding around in an M48 tank so I don’t think he saw any shit up close. More like a B52 pilot than an actual combatant.

That would be kind of funny if it worked. “I’ll give you the $7000, but to do it I’ll need you to set up an Amazon gift card in my name with $100 in it.”

Well, my co-worker is weak but definitely not omnipotent.

When I lived in Florida, this old woman hit the news because scammers called her claiming to be the police and they asked her to help them with a case by putting $5000 of her own money in a paper bag and leaving it at a shopping mall. She did this so they called her again and said they almost got the guy but that they wanted her to leave another five grand in a paper sack at the mall. So she did it again. She only ended up calling the police because the scammers called her a third time and when she left the paper bag full of money nobody came to get it. They must have figured at that point that nobody could possibly be that gullible and lost their nerve.

“Give me $7000 in bitcoin or I will send the video to your loved ones.” Uh, joke’s on you motherfucker.

I’d also recommend driving a school bus. $35/hour and subsidized health insurance. You only have the little bastiges for 15 minutes at a time and you don’t have to teach them shit. You don’t need a bachelor’s degree (or even a high school degree) and god DAMN do my coworkers show the results of that.

Mine is my other kidney.

I did this to become a programmer. No CS degree, learned to program by working on a personal project (music composition software), formed an LLC and sold the app as shareware back in the day when there was such a thing and people would pay $29.95 (!) for it. Still didn’t make nearly enough to live on, got a real job with a resume that listed my own company as my first employment. Wasn’t even dishonest about it, listed my role as “sole proprietor”. Maybe the people reviewing my resume didn’t know what a proprietor was.

TBF this was the '90s when Internet startups were hiring anything with a pulse.

I think the plan is to replace nurses with just letting people die instead.

Ha ha, I just looked it up: there are five Domino’s Pizza restaurants in Vietnam.

UIs that have random symbols

My favorite was the Windows Phone interface circa 2011 or so. They had a “save” button (I forget what you actually had to save on a phone) that was the standard floppy disk icon (ironic for a phone) except it was elongated and leaning to one side. When I first saw it, I thought it was a semi trailer tipping over and couldn’t imagine what it was supposed to be for.

Not really “never”, but the standard movie deals have long called for the studios to get a 90% cut of the box for the first two weeks a movie runs, then it switches to a 50/50 split the rest of the way. Nobody seems to have noticed that this arrangement incentivizes movie studios to produce overhyped pieces of shit so that no good movie with serious staying power cannibalizes their own revenue stream. Just a total coincidence that most movies now are overhyped pieces of shit.

Because hovering/tooltips doesn’t work for touchscreens and designers don’t give two shits about anything else.

The thing that drives me the craziest is when a long title or sentence or whatever is just truncated with ellipses, even when there is ENORMOUS blank white space around it that would easily allow the whole thing to be shown with word-wrapping. Youtube shorts is the most egregious example of this, and they recently managed to make it even worse. It used to be that you could open up the comments for a short and that would make the entire long title readable, but they “fixed” that so it stays ellipsized even then.

The app I use at work to clock in and out ellipsizes my own name halfway through my middle name, and it could be easily fixed by just stretching the control that displays the name all the way to each edge. I used to be a mobile app developer and I know exactly why this happens: the UI designer uses a bogus short name like “Bob Smith” on the original design document and the developer who implements it puts in a control just big enough for that. I used to encounter this kind of thing and I would fix it with common sense, and then the UI designer would get mad and insist that my fix be reverted, even though that resulted in something that couldn’t display the information properly.

I have a co-worker who fought in Vietnam. I showed him the thing about the Pentagon straight up admitting that the Gulf of Tonkin incident was bullshit, but he refused to accept it. Still feels that we had to fight that war because if we had allowed the communists to win, it would have meant that communism would have taken over the world … even though we actually did lose that war.

You do realize that as recently as the 1800’s the average household had at least one member infected with tapeworm at any given time?

Yeah, the good ol’ days. Now we have to simulate having a tapeworm with Ozempic.

Easier to hide body armor under it.

projecting the image of being royalty, important for commanding the awe and loyalty of the subjects

Very important in, um, a republic.

Maybe when the AI bubble bursts, people will buy up abandoned data centers for pennies on the dollar and repurpose them for a better Youtube alternative. And maybe Margot Robbie will see this comment and fall in love with me.