shiftymccool

But you could be fire

Or, here’s a wild idea, use your brain

Billionaires are a different species that should be hunted to extinction

Melting shit candle makes plopping noises that sound like words

…en masse

This is an app i use probably 2 minutes a month. The efficiency of the layout is so not important

Maybe after 3 or 4 more. We should find out. Then add a few more for good measure

JFC that guy is a caricature of a comic book villain

It’s so insecure it wraps back around to super-secure

Nice try ICE

401k asap. People start thinking about retirement too late

Wow, add that one to the site and don’t learn programming, that’s SOP in nearly all coding languages

Can I get a black coffee?

So, like, less sweet?

No, just black coffee

Any creamer?

No, just black coffee

Want me to save some space in the cup for your own creamer?

No, just fill my cup up all the way with black coffee

Miami AND Florida?

Yes… All Americans. Let’s do sweeping insults about other populations that have no fucking control over anything that happens to them

“Oh no! Something went wrong! Better call support” instead of “Error 332: Look it up and fix it”

He deployed the National Guard to guard the pool. Great use of resources

central Federation Hub

Central… Federation…

I’m sorry, what?

If we can’t trust the pol… WTF… This has to be sarcasm, right? Right?

I can’t believe this sentence was uttered by a real human. You know what we did about being bored before social media? We fucking did something