Akon: The parents virtually forced me to dry-hump underage girl

Clearly, Akon has tired of people mentioning that time he dry-humped the underage girl onstage at one of his gigs, and has started looking round for someone else to blame.

He could have gone with his penis, of course, but he's got a soft spot for that, so instead, he's chosen to blame the parents of the underage girl he dry-humped:

"It was an unfortunate situation, more of a misunderstanding more than anything. "You can't blame me for a young girl sneaking into the club. Why is her dad letting her out at that time of the night? That's not my responsibility, so I didn't really let it affect the way I was moving around."

Aha. That's alright then. He can't be expected to know he's dry-humping an underage girl, can he? Just because the girl is in front of him, and clearly underage, he can't be expected to realise the girl he's dry-humping is underage, can he? It's not like he's sentinent or anything. Indeed, it's clearly the fault of the underage girl he was dry-humping for not having been born earlier.

It's not like you can expect Akon to take responsibility for his actions, is it?

Event Verizon: Akon blows his contract

US telecoms giant Verizon has hung up on its deal with Akon, and deleted him from their phonebook. It was all going so well, until Akon went to Trinidad and simulated sex with an underage girl on stage.

There also seems to be some suggestion he might have promised the girl a trip to Africa as some sort of prize in a non-existent competition, which makes him not only seedy, but grubby in a whole lot of other ways.

Akon has suggested the whole thing was the spirit moving him, or something:

"I got carried away," Alleyne, a pastor's daughter, said in a public apology last month after a local TV station aired the footage. "I started to dance, as well, but I never thought it was going to be like that. I was shocked. My head was hitting the floor."

Luckily, though - or perhaps, unluckily - he managed to pick up his head long enough to get to the end of the routine where he pretended he was fucking a teenager on stage.

There is, of course, an innocent victim in this - Gwen Stefani, oddly enough. Akon was opening for her on her US tour, and so keen are Verizon to distance themselves from even the merest hint of underwriting the activities of a kiddie-fiddler, they've yanked their funding for that, too:

"This week the partnership ended," Verizon said in a statement to Fox News. "We have music services on our cell phone service and we were promoting him as one of the artists. The other part of the sponsorship was the Gwen Stefani tour, of which he was an opening act. We are no longer sponsoring the tour."

It's not yet clear if the loss of this sponsorship will force Gwen to cut back on the number of muter Japanese children who will follow her around backstage.