Surprise: Michelle Keegan reckons she can have a go at being a pop star

Since the length of metal pipe put paid to any chance of a return to Corrie, Michelle Keegan is considering her options and it seems like her people are testing the idea of some sort of pop career by talking to The Sun:

"A fair few record label people are interested in singing her already and she's thinking long and hard about it," an insider told The Sun.

"[People] will be surprised to hear how good her voice is," they added.

It's not entirely clear why people would be "surprised", as if 'playing a barmaid' and 'being able to hold a note long enough to be autotuned' are two states that it is impossible to imagine existing in the same person.

That doesn't, of course, make it a good idea.

After all, Keegans famous in one field trying to shift that into a chart career don't have the greatest track record, do they?

How Hollywood works

- Should we really consider Bieber for Robin in the new Superman movie?
- Can the kid act?
- Maybe he won't even be interested
- Perhaps we should send him a script
- No way; the kid's a loose canon. We can't be sure that he won't leak details.
- I've got a solution; if we plaster his name across the script, he won't be able to leak it, as it'll be obvious where the leak's from
- Genius. Make it so.

Twenty four hours later...

- Uh... boss...?

Hiphopobit: Heavy D

Heavy D, actor and musician, has died in Beverley Hills.

Born Dwight Arrington Myers, as leader of Heavy D & The Boyz he was the 90s go-to guy at the poppier end of hip-hop for those times when you couldn't afford Will Smith. The Boyz were the anchor group for Uptown Records, finding success almost immediately with the album Living Large and the platinum follow-up Big Tyme. D landed a number of lucrative collaborations - rapping on Michael Jackson's Jam and working with BB King, but a cooler reaction to third album Blue Funk saw him turn more and more to TV and film work.

Initially, his interest was in theme tunes - Mad TV and In Living Color both used him to top and tail their antics - but he swiftly moved in front of the camera. An episode of Cosby spin-off A Different World was built around him; he landed regular roles in The Tracy Morgan Show and Boston Public.

Heavy was slowly returning to music - there was a reggae album, Vibes, in 2008, and earlier this year he performed at the BET Awards. That show was his first live show in fifteen years.

TMZ reports that D experienced breathing difficulties after arriving home yesterday afternoon. He was 44 .

Pete Doherty: What is he like?

Two possible Pete Dohertys presented their face to the world yesterday.

The Guardian had a little fawn over him, as the promotional work for the film he's in starts to roll:

Now the enfant terrible of British rock has reincarnated once again as Doherty the actor. The singer has just finished shooting his first film in France, where he has attained cult status, not just as a musical star but as a poète maudit, a tragic literary figure and tortured soul.
[...]
Doherty is extraordinarily popular in France, where fans queue for hours to see him perform, and forgive him when – as frequently happens – he does not show.

Verheyde believes it is because he is seen through his lyrics as a "literary figure, a poet". Others liken him to the Gauloises-puffing, hard-drinking Serge Gainsbourg, seen as a talented but ultimately tragic figure. "Charlotte admitted Pete did remind her a bit of her father," said Verheyde.

It should be pointed out that Verheyde is not merely trying to promote her film, but to persuade Doherty's fans to cough up cash to finish off the making of the movie. Playing into the myth that Doherty is a tortured soul who only you understand is as much a part of her pitch as Tescos sticking up Half Price Beer signs is part of theirs.

But could it be true? Are we in danger of pegging Doherty as some sort of Mr-Bean-reads-Rimbaud figure when, in fact, he is really the greatest mind of our age?

Let's look at yesterday's other Doherty story, on Holy Moly:

Pete was at London's Snaresbrook Crown Court yesterday on charge for cocaine possession, to which he pleaded guilty. He's probably on his way to jail - for the third time - but doesn't really seem to give a shit about that, larking about outside the court and stealing his barrister's wig so he could take a hilarious photo of himself on his phone.

But, hey, apparently people queue up to see him in France, right?

I'm not going to trade on being Chris Martin's sister, says Chris Martin's sister

It's impressive that Nicola Martin is determined to make her acting career on her own without any help from being the sister-of-the-more-famous-Chris. But just how many actors working in pubs without connections get profiled by the Daily Telepgraph, exactly?

Mr Music, will you play?

Anyone who heard the Jeeves And Wooster album knows that Hugh Laurie is actually pretty nifty behind the piano, so the prospect of a new record isn't too scary.

And he's not going to do it in character, although I bet Warners are hoping they can persuade him to call it House music.

Laurie is characteristically wry about deal:

"I am drunk with excitement at this opportunity," the 51-year-old said. "I know the history of actors making music is a chequered one, but I promise no one will get hurt.

"I am particularly thrilled to be working with Joe Henry, who has produced some of my favourite records of all time, and I can't wait to get started."

Obviously, for the fabulously wealthy and successful actor, he's working on a blues album. Which is a bit like Lindsay Lohan recording gospel.

Gary Lucy fancies himself as Kurt Cobain

Admittedly, there'd be no reason why a clean-cut actor couldn't go on stage and make a convincing job of playing Kurt Cobain.

But Gary Lucy is hardly an actor, is he?

The star said: "Playing Kurt Cobain would be far removed from the glitz and glamour of doing Dancing On Ice."

You think, Gary?

Molly Ringwald: Follow-up album at last

So it turns out Molly Ringwald made an album when she was six years old. Then she got distracted for a couple of years by making movies. And then she got distracted by... no, not even Google is capable of explaining what she's been doing since PK And The Kid. But whatever that distraction was, it's lifted, and after 36 years, there's a follow-up coming:

"I'm really excited about it. I haven't come up with a name yet but it's with my quintet that I've been performing with a lot in the Los Angeles area."

The real worry for Molly, though, is that she's now going to spend four decades struggling with Difficult Third Album syndrome.

Actorobit: Ian Carmichael

Sad to hear of the death of Ian Carmichael, which is being reported by the BBC. Although best-known as an actor - he's probably the best screen Peter Wimsey - he had a small side concern going knocking out records in the mid-1960s. Most notably, he reunited with his television Butler Dennis Price to record a Jeeves And Wooster single, What Would I Do Without Jeeves for HMV in 1966.

As far as I can tell, his last released record was on Noel Edmond's Listen With Mother collection for BBC Records And Tapes. Although that was reading (The Cat Who Wanted To Sing Carols) rather than actually singing.

Actorobit: Brittany Murphy

Brittany Murphy has died, at the age of 32, according to TMZ. The gossip site reports she suffered a fatal heart attack earlier today.

Although most of her work was as an actor, Murphy did have two excursions into making music. As part of her day job, she covered Queen and Earth Wind And Fire for the soundtrack of anthropomorphised penguin dances. More interestingly, she supplied vocals for a track on Paul Oakenfold's 2006 album A Lively Mind. Faster Kill Pussycat made number seven in the UK charts.

Isn't there something we can do to stop this sort of thing happening?

Robert Pattinson, out of The Lil' Lestats, is planning a pop record. But he's not rushing into it:

I don't want to release an album which has a sticker on it saying, 'By the vampire of 'Twilight',' on it.

If most bright-eyed actors who stick out records are anything to go by, you'd be better off worrying about the sticker saying "Reduced: 49p".

Death Cab attack cutie

You know that Jared Leto, right? Well, right, he's only playing at pop stars, say Death Cab For Cutie:

"He's a professional actor in music; so there's no way to feel any sincerity about his position as a musician... Because he makes a living playing characters — so why wouldn't he be able to take a step forward?" singer/guitarist Ben Gibbard chimed in during the interview. "Then you're also acting what you think a rock star should act like."

Harmer also said Leto only wears makeup because "Oh that's what rock stars do: they wear eyeliner."

Actually, while Gibbard might have a point about 30 Seconds To Mars, surely Leto wears eye make-up as part of a general being hotness? He had the rock star hair long before he had the pretend band, after all.

Gordon in the morning: Deyn works through more indish bands

It's worth noting this morning that they've left the Bruno's Bizarre masthead on the front page of the Bizarre website this morning, leaving poor Gordon as little more than a walk-on in his own page.

The main story this morning is about Agyness Deyn and her habit of dating minor members of sort of indie bands, doing nothing to dispel the feeling that she's some of Kate Moss Historic Re-enactment Society.

Currently, it's Miles Kane from The Rascals, but Gordon has a list:

It’s like a Who’s Who of top bands including THE STROKES guitarist ALBERT HAMMOND JR, THE PADDINGTONS’ JOSH HUBBARD and PHANTOM PLANET’s ALEX GREENWALD.

Well, it's like a who's who of top bands in the sense that one of those would be a list of names of people who play instruments, too.

Smart has also got some special insight into this latest 'relationship':

A pal of the couple told me: “Miles and Agy get on like a house on fire and have a proper laugh. Miles bowled her off her feet. His pals ask about her but all he says is things are ‘boss’.

"They have passed the three-week mark now. He lives in Liverpool but has been in the Big Smoke charming the pants off her. She’s very down to earth. That’s her appeal.”

The last person to use the phrase "the Big Smoke" seriously was probably Mike Baldwin back when he was dating Bet Lynch. And even he was just saying words that someone else had put in his mouth.

Elsewhere, Sarah Harding is confidently predicting her acting won't be all Mariah Carey:

She said: "I don't want to try too much, too soon. I'm taking baby steps.

"I'm working my way into acting gradually - I don't want people to think that I'm just swanning in there.

"There is a stigma attached to people who go from singing to acting."

Presumably, then, that KitKat advert was the first baby step on a route to being Dandini at the Scarborough Empire in a couple of Christmases' time.

Singing is like acting, right?

When we suggested that Hayden Pantypants from Heroes might not be worth a recording contract simply because she was in a television programme, some commenters angrily pointed out that she'd sung a theme tune or something in the past and as such was like, totally able to make an album.

So, perhaps the reaction to Gossip Girl's gossiping girl Leighton Meester being signed up for a record shouldn't be instant eye-rolling and suggestions that the label involved, Universal imprintTime-Act Music, are so devoid of ideas they've replaced their A&R department with a twelve year-old girl flicking through back issues of Seventeen and stopping at random to decide who'll they'll piss away money on next.

Perhaps.

Billy Bob Thornton: I, not an actor

Given that he's not the greatest musician, you might have thought that Billy Bob Thornton would have been delighted that CBC's Jian Ghomeshi reminded the audience that he was also known for being an actor.

Nope. Cue a petulant bout of babying from Thornton:

Ghomeshi: Billy Bob, you guys formed only in the last couple years, right?

Thornton: I don't know what you're talking about.

Ghomeshi: How so?

Thornton: I don't know what you mean by that.

Ghomeshi: When did the band form?

Thornton: I'm not sure what that means.
[...]
Ghomeshi: You would prefer me to only do this interview not mentioning at all, just to clarify, at all that you've ever done anything in terms of acting, screenwriting.

Thornton: That's correct.

Ghomeshi: Part of the attention that you are getting is because of the great career you've had in other ways. What I'm explaining is, I'm not trying to be insulting to your musical ...

Thornton: What I'm explaining is that we said do not talk about s--t like that. And we also said that we didn't want to hear anything about how this is my first love. You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty, would you? "I understand music is your first love." Well, my first love was a chick named Lisa Cone. You know what I mean?

Well, perhaps not, Billy - although you might ask Petty "was music always your first love" - but given that you've only got people listening to your terrible music because you first made a name for yourself making movies, it's not like you're Tom Petty, is it? It's a fair question, surely: if you really always wanted to make music, isn't it curious that you made Bad Santa first?

Of course, suggestions that Thornton was behaving like a petulant jerk were quickly swatted away by his damage-limitation squad:

Thornton's publicist, Arnold Robinson, disputes suggestions that what followed was a breakdown by the actor -- hmmm, musician.

He "simply elected not to engage with the interviewer because of the direction of the interview from the outset," Robinson told CNN. Thornton took the reference to his movie career as an insult to his musical endeavor.

You know who else was like that? The Singing Postman. He was always telling interviewers to screw themselves - "why do you keep asking me about delivering letters? Why? Why?"

Gordon in the morning: Too much wine and too much Winehouse

So, yesterday - where were we? Amy doing circus lessons, right? So today, Gordon's team, then, would be expected to be leading on a 'bad Amy' story, yes? Yes.

WASTED AMY WINEHOUSE is reduced to crawling up to holidaymakers and grabbing their drinks — after fed-up resort staff refused to serve her.

Crawling? On all fours? Like some sort of Oddbins Gollum?

Smart and his team have documented this holiday with the sort of attention to detail that geography teachers bring to their vacations on glaciers. Only loyal readers of Bizarre might be confused, as some days Amy is reported as being loved-up and on the mend; other days, her supposed crush is reported as being cold and Winehouse is minesweeping. It looks like Gordon has realised even his readers might have spotted the confusion, and he's come up with a neat solution. If Bizarre can't keep itself straight - why, it's Amy's fault:

The Rehab star also baffles guests with her mood swings.

One said: “One minute she is very pleasant, saying, ‘All right darlin’ and chatting to people and having photos taken. The next she is throwing things and swearing her head off.”

Aha - it's not that the Sun is extrapolating wildly from each set of photos it gets sent. Oh, no: Winehouse is suffering mood swings.

As if it wasn't enough Winehouse, Pete Samson has a separate, dubious-sounding Winehouse story that is at least more diverting than the latest St Lucia dispatch:

TROUBLED AMY WINEHOUSE has been offered her first movie role

Hang about - is it a good idea to cast a "troubled" star, Pete?

- if she can clean up her act.

Aha.

The Rehab star, 25, has been sent a script by Universal Pictures.

And a coach is available to help improve her acting skills.

But bosses have warned she must keep up her drug rehabilitation.

It's not clear if she's able to carry on hiding under tables and pinching discarded Bacardi Breezers while starring in the film. I expect this is the sort of detail agents work out later on.

So, what's the role?

She would play a music teacher in a problem school.

Aha. Inspiring pupils and so on? Hang on, though, doesn't that sound a little like...

A source revealed: “The movie is a bit like MICHELLE PFEIFFER’s film Dangerous Minds."

No, no - doesn't that sound a bit like Grange Hill? Is Amy being lined up for Scruffy McGuffy: The Musical?

“You can’t have a teacher looking like a scrawny crack addict. It’s hoped the offer will be an incentive for her.”

Oh yes... the sweet, loving, instant embrace of a glowing crack-pipe, or the chance to slog your arse off for months producing a straight-to-DVD cliche-romp. With stage school kids pretending to be edgy. Michelle Pfeiffer would probably advise Amy to stick to the drugs.

Legendobit: Eartha Kitt

The not-quite-irony of a woman who recorded Santa Baby dying on Christmas Day was, sadly, not lost on any news network, all of whom used it as a hook for their obituaries of Eartha Kitt. Kitt lost her fight against cancer yesterday.

Born out of wedlock in 1927 - when such things mattered - into a poor family, Kitt turned an inauspicious start into a sixty year career, setting a template of singing and acting that would eventually invent Streisand, Turner and Middler, amongst others.

Although she was already established as a singer by the end of the Second World War, and with a debut album released in 1953, it was during the 1960s that she really cemented her position. Playing Catwoman in the TV Batman, and earning herself a blacklisting for condemning the Vietnam War. If she upset the right during the 60s, it was the left who would scold her in 1974, when she toured apartheid South Africa. Kitt's argument was that she was raising awareness, which at least sounded more plausible than when Queen, say, tried to justify their bumper pay days in the same manner.

It would be dance music - and the passage of time - which would eventually reclaim Kitt from the mire of political boycottage and start to buff her yup into something approaching national treasure. The combination of faux animal skin and kittenesque purr gave her a trademark identity, and a willingness to work hard past the point where many might have plumped for retirement ensured she sealed her position as a solid-gold legend.

Another free download: The Peth

We'd really like to dislike The Peth, with the presence of Rhys Ifans at their apex. And, while it's true that they add little to the great book of rock that hasn't already been done before, there's something like gormless fun to be had.

And had here, in the free single: Let's Go Fucking Mental.

Yes, even with gratuitous swearing, it's still just the right side of gormless fun.

The Press Association might not be what it once was

The wires clatter, and out comes a report, filed by the Press Association. What could it be? Abdication? Assassination? War?

No, it's the news that Antony Costa is thinking of buying a ticket to LA:

Antony Costa has revealed that he could be the next British star to travel across the pond in pursuit of fame.

Victoria Beckham, Cat Deeley and Simon Cowell have all been making waves Stateside, and now the former Blue star is considering making the journey.

Costa, of course, does differ from that trio, who moved across when at the top of their fame and, thus, traveled first class, while Costa is looking into how much it would cost to wrap himself in brown paper and get FedExed to Hollywood.

Still, it's not like Costa is without contacts in La La land:

"I might want to go to LA because my brother is out there at the moment studying drama," Antony revealed.

"I just want to go out there and see what it's about, and get my name about."

There's every chance his brother might be able to put in a word and get him to understudy a tree in a forthcoming student production of The Wizard Of Oz.

It's fairly safe to say that, when Cowell crossed the Atlantic, he did so with a better plan that "seeing what its about."

Save the cheerleader, ruin the world of pop

Is it fair to prejudge the likely quality of Hayden Panettiere's first dabbling into the art of singing for a living?

[UPDATE: The words 'for a living' have been added to clarify we're talking about releasing music in a serious, career-minded way.]

Well, maybe it isn't, but let's prejudge anyway. The single is called Wake Up Call and is "digital download only"; it comes out in August with an album to follow in "2009", which sounds like the sort of vague schedule that gives plenty of room for dropping the whole idea without anyone noticing if it all goes wrong.

As if that wasn't enough of an indication we're going to be struggling:

Described as a “reggae-flavoured pop song,” the single was written by Andreas Rombhane, who has previously written songs for Geri Halliwell, Westlife and Diana Ross.

Aha. Something that even Halliwell and Westlife rejected as being a bit too broad. We know that there's not much for Panettiere to do in Heroes at the moment, but couldn't she take up sudoku?