Thursday This n That

I sometimes wonder what the people who gossip to me say about me when I'm not around.  I don't care.  I'm just curious.

Yesterday, I saw a coyote.  I was driving down the highway and it was standing in a field.  It actually looked quite majestic.  Coyotes are always the rangy, scaggy things they're portrayed to be, ya know.

It was an outstanding coyote.  It was out standing in a field.  ROFL

Yellow-bellied sapsuckers... Their bellies aren't really all that yellow and they don't actually suck sap, they lick it.  But vaguely-yellowish bellied saplicker doesn't quite roll off the tongue.

There's nothing quite like waking up in the morning, wandering toward the bathroom, and stepping in cat puke.  Thankfully, I stepped in the smallest bit.  After I turned the lights on, there were several piles.  Not sure which cat urped all over the kitchen, but thankfully, he didn't urp on the carpet.

I keep receiving emails from scammers, trying to get me to buy their services for books that aren't even mine.  This morning alone, they wanted me to hire them to promote something called After Midnight and something else called Hurricane Secrets.  ROFL... what boobs.

And now I seem to be out of things to this-n-that.  Feel free to drop your own.  And have a great day!

What's Sincere and What's Scam?

I've gotten a few emails this week in regard to DYING EMBERS (which is still free through the end of today).  Most of them have been obvious - people trying to get me to pay them to market my book.  One of them, on the other hand, was someone wanting to use my book in their book club.  I've been on the fence with that one re: sincere or scam.

I mean, he seemed sincere enough.  He talked about my book like he'd actually read it.  He said intelligent things.  Unfortunately, so did several of the scammers.  (In all fairness, the marketers may not have been scammers, but for brevity, and because it's so hard to tell the difference, I'll call them that.)

It's a minefield out there.  How does one tell the difference between someone who is sincerely interested in a book and someone who's trying to part you from your well-earned and miniscule profits?  (I'm averaging about $18 a month here.)  

The idea that I may be ignoring someone who is sincerely interested in my work wrecks me.  I lay awake at night thinking about it.  I'd be willing to interact with them.  (I almost said like or love, but the idea of interacting with strangers makes me nauseous.  Hell, most days, I don't want to interact with anyone but Hubs, but that's on me.  The older I get, the more hermit-like I become.)

On the other hand, interacting with scammers - even just a little - is bad.  You even bother to tell them 'no thanks' and suddenly you're inundated with crap.  Who needs that?

So, I sit here, torn between knowing I need to interact with fans/readers and wanting to stay as far away from scammers as possible.  It's a slippery slope to hell either way.

What do you think?

(For the record, I deleted the 'book club' email, but didn't send it to spam like I do with all the others.  If he emails again, I'll think about this some more.)

Thursday This n That

Yesterday, I heard about a recent 'news' program where a couple of idiots were arguing that egg prices are, in fact, still up.  Not sure what planet they live on, or where they're buying their eggs, but egg prices here are about half what they were just a couple months ago.  I went from paying over $5 a dozen to $2-something last week.  I call that winning.  Now, if we can just get meat prices down, my budget will be happy.

Scammers suck.  A guy in one of my FB groups was contacted and offered the chance to write two articles for publication.  He wrote them, they paid him, he deposited the check.  Shortly after, they said they wanted half their money back for some hyped up reason.  Then the check bounced.  Thankfully, he hadn't spent any of it.  Writer Beware posted about another one where authors are getting contacted via email telling them that their book is being considered for a movie.  I've gotten a couple of these already (for Unequal), but mere minutes after I read the article, I got another one (Project Hermes).  A movie?!  My lil ol' book?  Yeah, pull the other leg, it's shorter.

I think I found the way around FB and their stupid 'anti-spammer' rules.  Post to one group every ten-fifteen minutes.  It's a PITA, but if it works, then I'll do it.  I find this whole thing particularly funny in that this morning alone I saw a couple people actually spamming these book marketing groups, but I'm the one that gets tagged.  Derp.  Those people are probably paying FB for the privilege... a thing I refuse to do.  

Have you ever seen the movie CAVEMAN?  It's from the '80s and it stars Ringo Starr.  (Yes, THAT Ringo Starr.)  It also has a really young Dennis Quaid and Shelley Long.  I remember my sister taking me to the movies to see that.  Well, I found it on Roku and watched it yesterday.  It's silly and stupid and a little crass.  But it was AWESOME!  

My tiny tomato is a little less tiny, but it's still the only tomato.  

I saw a news story yesterday about all these kids in TX setting up lemonade stands and using the proceeds to help flood victims.  

And that's enough out of me.  What's on your this n that list today?

Scams Abound

I hate that we have to be constantly vigilant so we don't get ripped off, but we do, so here are a few tips that might help...

In Facebook groups: 

If you see someone with a new account complaining about all the scammers... they're probably a scammer.

If you see someone boohooing about not getting any sales for their new/first/unloved books... they're probably a scammer.

If they comment on your marketing posts telling you how awesome your book is and asking you questions that they could answer on their own if they read the post or followed the link (like what genre it is)... they're a scammer.

If you can't pronounce their name (usually African, but sometimes middle eastern), but they have all sorts of awesome ways to market your book... they're a scammer.  (Like the Nigerian prince emails of yore.)

If they have some other sob story about anything... cats, kids, health... their probably a scammer.  Take it all with a grain of salt.

On the phone:

If they say they're calling from any one of several government agencies - the IRS, the local police, the prosecutor's office... they're a scammer.  Those agencies don't call you.

If they say they're from any one of several computer companies - Microsoft comes to mind, but also Amazon - they're a scammer.  Those companies don't call you.

If they say they're from your credit card company or your bank, they are most likely a scammer.  Hang up and call your bank or your card company using a number you already have.  Do not call any number they give you.

If you get a call telling you a family member is in jail, either here or overseas... they are a scammer.  If you are worried, though, call the family member in question before you do anything.  If you can't reach them, call someone else who would know whether they could possibly be where they're supposedly in jail.  Do not send money without verifying.

If you get any kind of call where someone wants you to send them a gift card to pay off a 'debt' or a 'bill'... definitely a scammer.  

You can also get a variety of these same types of scams via regular mail or email, chat message, text messages, etc.  Verify everything before you hand over any personal information or financial data.  Hell, I don't even use the word 'yes' when talking on the phone with a potential scammer.  "Is this B.E. Sanderson?" "This is.  What do you want?"  I'm not sure if it's an urban myth that these scammers use your spoken word yes to bypass actual authorization and take your money, but I'm not taking any chances.

Being paranoid helps keep you safe.  Hang in there out there and remember... Scams abound.

:Heavy Sigh:

I was contacted yesterday by someone who is related to someone who knows someone I am related to asking for assistance with a publishing situation.  I don't want to shame the poor guy.  Lord knows, he's gone through enough, but it makes me want to shout from the rooftops yet again...

MONEY FLOWS TO THE AUTHOR NOT AWAY FROM THE AUTHOR

If you have several books published by several different publishing companies, and you have never seen any royalties, you may have been scammed.  I suggested that this author contact a publishing attorney because from what I understand, he's being contacted again to ask for more money.  

Poor dude.  Like I told him, real publishers never ask for money. Never.  EVER.  If they're asking for money, they might not be a scam.  They could be vanity.  But from what I understand, authentic vanity publishers are upfront about who they are and what they do and the costs involved.  Anything else is shady.  

Especially if they initiate contact.  If someone emails you out of the blue, wanting to publish your work, RUN.  Mark them as spam.  Block their email accounts.  Whatever you have to do to make sure they never contact you again... mainly because it's annoying.  But do not... I repeat, do NOT ever give them money.  

Shit, I've been in this game for over 20 years.  I started out doing every bit of research I could to make sure I was as informed as I could be.  And then I started sending queries out to reputable agents.  And to a few reputable small publishers.  None of them wanted me, so after 11 years of beating my head against those walls, I did it my own damn self.  And by the way, I'm still getting scammy emails from time to time.  The last one wanted me to contact him because he wanted to make one of my books into a movie.  Feh.  Yah, right.  (And by the way, even if were a real offer, I'm totally not interested in any of my books being subjected to the tender mercies of Hollyweird - no matter how much money it might bring me.  My soul is priced higher than they can afford to pay.)

A former friend of mine, knowing I was writing and trying to publish sent me a link to this great place that would publish my books for only a penny - or some such shit.  I'd already heard about this place from authors I developed an acquaintance with and I told him he'd sent me a link to a scam.  He was disgusted... with me for even suggesting that this place wasn't on the up-and-up.  :shrug:  (Not the only reason he's a former friend, but it didn't help.)  

The point is, there are a SHITLOAD of people anxious to separate you from your money.  They will promise you the moon and the stars and whole galaxies of awesome, but their promises are nothing but smoke and mirrors.  Oh, you send them a bunch of money and you might see your book on Amazon, but you won't see any sales unless you are out there stumping and pumping to make sales for yourself.  And you will probably never recoup the money you gave them.  Lord knows, this poor dude likely hasn't.  (We didn't discuss what he might've paid, and I don't want to know.)

Anyway, if you find yourself in the same position, talk to an attorney.  I could be wrong and they've done for you exactly what they promised they would - which is to 'publish' your book and the rest is up to you.  But I could be right.  Either way, only an attorney can help you now.

Insights and Other Fun Stuff

I know you're probably sick of listening to me talk about marketing.  I get sick of doing it, but it's a necessarily evil if you want to sell books.  Word of mouth can only get you so far, especially if you haven't published a new book in a while.  So here I am, posting marketing copy and images every morning - and sometimes night, if I can wedge one in there.  It is working.  I mean, if it wasn't I wouldn't still be beating my head on this particular rock, now would I?

Anyway, here's this morning's ranking snapshot for Early Grave:

Freaking photo wouldn't upload and I hate blogger sometimes. It's ranked at #9 in Serial Killers and #2963 overall in free books.

Not too shabby, eh?  And that's after moving only 82 copies.  Fingers crossed it turns into page reads and sales of the other books in the series.  

I have about 30 groups I post to now - more or less... some of them are genre specific.  And it usually takes me about 30 minutes for the posting.  The generation of new images every day?  Well, that takes a little longer.  Yep, a new image every day minus the one day I let the link provide the image for five days straight.  

Yes, you have to do the free thing for the whole five days.  If you do less days, you run the risk of the book not reaching the KU magic spot where it shows your book to its subscribers.  Go figger.

Now, this only works for freebies.  I've tried doing it for 99c books and I get :sad crickets chirping in the background:.  

An unfortunate side effect of this marketing is I am getting inundated with spammers and scammers.  They're only commenting and not messaging me much.  One of them emailed me.  It's all easy enough to ignore.  Plus, I get a chuckle out of some of the shit they try to pull.  A lot of them shower you with insincere praise and then ask you to message them.  ROFL  According to them, I am amazing, my covers are amazing, and my books are the best thing since the sun started rising every morning.  (Yeah, I'm that good.)

Anyway, that's the skinny on this marketing thing.  If you'd like to join me in this death by a thousand papercuts, and have any questions, let me know.  Otherwise, have a great day!

Thursday This n That

I had something on my mind to type here but by the time I had opened the page for a new post and written the title, it was gone.  Such is my brain.

I finally got Early Grave done and sent off to AWE.  I have it on the calendar to start working on Sleeping Ugly as soon as EG went off, but I am so not ready to dive into that hot mess yet.  (Then again, I had it on the calendar to send EG to her on the 16th, which proves that the calendar is not set in stone.)

So, I got my oil changed yesterday at the local Kwik Lube.  While I was waiting, I noticed they were having a drawing for a big ol' smoker.  Like 8 interior racks big.  When my car was done, the guy comes in to tell me all about what they did to my car and to take my money.  As he's typing away on the computer, he slides a blank piece of paper toward me and invites me to enter the drawing.  I decline - because what the hell would the two of us do with a smoker that size?  I mean, it says clearly on the box it takes two people to lift it and I can't imagine how I'd even get the dang thing home.  After I decline, he says 'already have one?'  Umm, no.  Then he tells me if he brings another one home, his wife will kill him.  Already has three.  Had six but he left three behind when they moved to AR.  "Wow," says I, "You must really like your smoked meats."  We chat some more and then a lady comes out of a door I had been certain only lead to a storage room.  "They keep you locked up in that tiny room?" says I in a joking tone.  She laughs and says "There are two offices upstairs."  Coulda knocked me over with a pin.  I never dreamed there were stairs behind the door.  Guy leaves the rest of my paperwork to the gal and goes back into the garage.  She passes me a piece of paper and invites me to enter the drawing.  I decline.  She says "Already have too many?"  Apparently smoking meat is a big thing around here.  Who knew?

Living in the Ozarks can be interesting sometimes.   For the most part, because I live in a resort-type area, I run into people here who are from somewhere else.  And then there are the people who are Ozark born and bred.  They're the really fun ones.  Kinda remind me of the Yoopers - laid back and a bit quirky.  I love it.  You just have to watch out for the ones who are so far out and detached from society that they'd as happily shoot you for driving down their road as look at you.  When the sign says 'No trespassing', you'd better take it seriously.

I need to set a book here, but I can't think of how I'd make it work yet.  Maybe I just haven't run into the right inspiration.

Speaking of story ideas, I saw something yesterday on FB that told of a 'contest' where you submit your story ideas to this place (written or not, they don't care) and the people of Canada vote on the ideas and whoever's idea gets the most votes gets a publishing contract.  Hubs had a great idea "A writer who's worked for years in solitude, slaving away at his book, sends the idea off to a company in Canada having a contest.  They steal his idea and publish it without giving him any credit or money, so he drives to Canada and goes on a killing spree at the publishing company."  I think they'd love that concept, don't you?  ;o)

Hubs is a funny guy.  At least, I think he is.  And he thinks I'm funny, too.  I suspect few people outside this house would find us amusing, but we really don't care.  We're a hoot.

My flowers have finally shipped.  They should be here tomorrow.  Which means, I really need to pick up more dirt.  I have one bag, but that's probably not going to be enough.  And I still need more rocks.  I really should have the supply place deliver all of it.  My little stealth pickup can't handle the weight of everything I need.

Well, that ought to be enough this n that today.  What's on your radar?