Spring observations

This is my weird lamp that I made from a rabbit-shaped basket (white metal, but you can't tell), some rope light and an ostrich egg. It's Easter-themed but it's used year-round, and I don't celebrate Easter. It's a weird lamp, and that's why I like it.

Even back when I was a kid and always in Church with my mother, I didn't care for Easter. It was probably mostly because my mother couldn't disguise her negative attitude about Easter (the dressing up part of it was hypocrisy, showing-off and "snootiness" to her, and I've never really disagreed with that). I already ranted about that in a previous post, but it was so long ago that I think it's OK to repost this picture of me at my maximum cuteness.

I do think that the coming of Spring is a thing to celebrate, for most people anyway. We are at maximum wildflower stage here now, and it's going to start feeling like Summer probably in April - and Summer is way too long and too hot here...

The yard is full of sunflowers (which I adore), red poppies, orange crossvine... really pretty... and the bugs, squirrels and birds are just munching away on stuff. That's fine. That's why it's there.
I don't even think of Easter as something associated with Jesus anymore. Eggs? Chocolate? Bunnies? Baskets? Peeps? Fancy hats (Easter bonnets)? It doesn't make any difference to me how people choose to do to commemorate an annual event. Celebrate away, don't hurt people or animals, and be tolerant of those who make a different choice. Here's a lovely song to leave with you, Let it Grow by Eric Clapton.

Easter West

Easter. It's never really felt like a "religious" holiday to me. Maybe it's because the rituals of it had so little to do with the events that it's supposed to celebrate, at least for Christian religions (its roots are Pagan). I was raised Christian, and my mother was a strong believer but she always had problems with the Holiday. She wanted me to have a "normal" time of it and fit in with the other kids (a lost cause from the start), but when Easter came around there was always the same rant from her about what a bunch of hypocrites were down at the church and everywhere else -- all dressed in brand-new clothes and only there to show off and look snooty. She'd say "that's the only reason they go to church, just to be seen in their new clothes and turn up their noses at us." She was absolutely right of course. For Easter a girl or woman was expected to turn up in new shoes, socks, dress... and hat!! Had to have a hat. We couldn't afford new stuff, so she would make me a new dress for Easter. It was the last thing either of us really wanted. We both hated putting on the dog, rituals, and snoots, but she tried to make me fit in. I couldn't stand those damned scratchy petticoats.

I got to avoid them in the above picture. We still lived in Arizona where it was socially OK to dress up your little girl like a cowboy. That might have been the last time I wore a holster! Maybe I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to share a really cute picture of myself. Those don't get taken anymore.

R-Rated Easter (Violence)

The Passion of Mel Gibson is having a lasting effect on Easter celebrations. Apparently, many churches are making their "Passion Plays" a LOT more gorey than they used to, and spending a pretty penny out of your tithings for fake blood.

[LINK]"...at Performance Studios costuming shop, high season for fake blood is right now, and the biggest buyers are churches.

"At Halloween, we sell blood by the ounce. At Easter, we sell blood by the gallon," says Gary Broadrick, owner of Performance Studios."

For what they are spending on stuff like fake blood, they could help out a homeless person on a cold, hungry night. Just my heretical opinion. And you know what? If Jesus were able to return to this world, I'll bet the last thing on earth he would want to see is blood, even fake blood. Blood, or a cross, or nails, or a crown of thorns.

Hat tip for pool of blood photoshop effect.

Tags: Easter - blood

The Passion in Chocolate

Well, Easter is coming, and you know what that means! Candy! Candy! Candy! And attempts to creatively put christianity into the traditional celebrations have brought about "Chocolate Jesus" items. The pic here shows a censored version of Cosimo Cavallaro's "My Sweet Lord", which is a 6-foot anatomically correct chocolate sculpture (you will need to click here for uncensored pic, along with the nutritional values... providing you were going to eat it... and if you did, what part would you break off first? In this case, I don't think it would be the ears.

Ha haaa!! Had you going!!! Arms, of course! Maybe toes? [Another link for this story]

Here is a more traditional take on a life-sized version, although it looks less tasty, and here's another traditional version that has been featured on "Jesus of the Week." If you can't handle the chocolate Jesus in edible form, there is a book by Stephen Jaramillo, or this song by Tom Waits, which is probably the most famous form of the "Chocolate Jesus"

Lyrics:
Dont go to church on sunday
Dont get on my knees to pray
Dont memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lees candy store

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I dont want no anna zabba
Dont want no almond joy
There aint nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well its the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul

(solo)
When the weather gets rough
And its whiskey in the shade
Its best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But thats ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

...and finally, the worst-tasting, and at the same time, most tasteless version (please note: I am not equating "tasteless" with "bad") is the slang term "Sweet chocolate Jesus" (x-rated) as defined by Urban Dictionary. (Kids, don't click that, please ...and I'm not sure you should even be reading this blog)

Now I need some candy.

Tags: Waits - Jesus - chocolate - Easter - chocolate Jesus

Bad Friday

This would really ruin my day. Don't do this. It's really sick. Several people are doing this, it says the one guy has done it 20 times. I guess it never gets old.

- Easter - Masochism - Crucifixion -