SOC.

The acronym above stands for "stream of consciousness" which is really just a pre-planned excuse for lack luster random writing.

-Disneyland water. Isn't it weird? Where does it come from? Why does it have a distinct smell? If you bottled it and sold it would it sell? For that matter, which vintage would do the best? "Matterhorn Waterfall", "Pirates of Caribbean Musket Broth", or "Small World Soup". This topic is personally relevant as I am 99% sure that I swallowed some on Splash Mountain the other day.

-Bicycles. On Saturday I rode my fancy 17 lb. Kuota Carbon Frame road bike 90 miles out to Malibu and back. It hurt. Later that evening my wife convinced me to ride the 49 lb. strand cruiser bike out to Santa Monica on a date? (30 miles total). I learned several things from this experience. #1PCH highway is beautiful and terrifying #2 Heidi is very motivated by Lamb Kabobs and doughnuts #3 Ten hours on a bike does weird things to you, including bizarre tan lines. #4 Venice Beach is frightening at night. #5 it was fun to feel like a stupid teenager again.

-Softball Observations. The season has begun in earnest and I have picked up a few insights for the social world of organized competitive slow pitch. First, I call it the "jeans rule". If a hitter steps up to the plate with denim anywhere on his person all out fielders must take an automatic 5 steps in. (jean shorts are an automatic 10). Second, if the team is cheering their hitter on with phrases like, "Make him pitch to you Bob!" and "Great eye out there!" all out fielders should take a few steps in. Third, much to my dismay, I was forced to pitch the other night because of a no show. I hated it for the following... the fat old guy usually pitches and the dreaded come backer. When asked, "ummm what happened to your face?" there is no glory in replying, "yeah uh... a softball game."

-Lance Burton. A recently discovered "Lance Burton: Magic Set" has unlocked my inner performer. I am applying to magician schools now and have already begun designing my Vegas I-15 billboard. Abra Kadabra!