So with my big manly paw on her face, I signal that it is time to get up. After she groans and slowly swings to the side of the bed, she usually gives Squashies and me a pet-pet good morning. Then she gets up and goes to the bean’s litter room with the shuffle-walk of the partially-living dead.
We are very pashunt.
We sits in the hall til she makes that splashy noise that means it is time to run down the steps like a wild herd.
Then we both takes our places in the kitchen to watch the ‘Zombie-Mombie’ show.
As our drama begins, mombie comes into the kitchen and fumbles on the wall for the light switch that has been in the same place for EVER.
This is when the hardest part of our day starts. We has to wait while mombie fumbles through the food drawer, picks a can and relearns how to use a pull-top. It’s painful to watch… not because mombie struggles, but because we are so very tail-quiveringly hungry. I’m pretty sure if she put it on the floor Squashies could use her thumbs to open the can faster.
The food is then put into a bowl, chopped, covered and put in the microwave for 12 seconds. Not so hard right? Wrong! Meanwhile, Squashies paces.
With the ding of the microwave we all rotate to our next positions- Squashies to her table in the not-so-sunny-for-breakfast room and me to my placemat in the living room. You might wonder why we is served in two rooms. Let’s just say that Squashies eats very slowly and I eats very, very fast.
This is when mombie’s hardest part of the day starts. She has to sit at the table and waits for Squashies to eat her food, without falling asleep. It takes my little sister 10-12 minutes to eat 1 ounce of food!?! After the first 2 minutes, the time it takes me to eat 2 ounces of food, Mombie can not waver, for I am sitting at her feet waiting for her to faulter…
After 5 minutes, Squashies does her first pretend bury. This involves scratching the table and bumping her bowl around with her foot. Mombie then gets up and gives us each 2 temptashuns, mostly for me being a good boy and not jumping on the table.
Generally by the third pretend-bury, Squashies is really done. Then mombie puts the bowl on the floor for my inspecshun. She does this in an attempt to teach me not to jump up on the table. It doesn’t really train me, I am a cat after all, but it does save me the effort of jumping on the table for the necessary examinashun.
After I have thoroughly inspect the bowl, sometimes getting a lick of juice, mombie gets up, washes our bowls, scoops the liter pan, and shuffles back up the steps and falls into bed.
In the next two hours mombie will transform into the mommy we all know and love. But each day, in the wee hours of the morning, we lucky cats get to watch the dead rise!
